by Starhawk
But I’ve learned the hard way about the value of that slower pace. A few years ago, the Reclaiming Witchcamps had grown to be eight or nine in number. Each was autonomous, and while several teachers had worked at more than one camp, most had never met. We had planned a first-ever gathering of teachers and organizers in Portland, Oregon, that March. Meanwhile, sentiment began to grow for creating some sort of structure that would link the camps, and a meeting was scheduled during the Portland gathering.
Paul, a longtime Witchcamp teacher who has an extensive background in management training, and I had come up with what we thought was a fine proposed structure, all neatly diagrammed. But Brook, whom we’d asked to facilitate the meeting, stopped us.
He wisely recognized that the group had not yet done its wandering, that I was laying a path that was clear to me when others had not yet even scouted the territory. At that time, I was the only person who had taught at every camp and who knew every person involved in that meeting of sixty teachers and organizers. The need for a larger structure was clear to me, but not to everybody else. They didn’t know each other; they were meeting for the first time and had not yet established a basis of trust. They had no way to know if a formal structure would empower them or simply create a new bureaucracy that would take away their autonomy. Trust needed to be built, and there was no way to shortcut that process. We had to wander in the wilderness and struggle together through the briars in order to get to know each other. I couldn’t impose a structure on the group from above; it had to emerge slowly, from within.
Wandering requires patience, the willingness to let patterns and pathways emerge into awareness from what seems like chaos. It calls for a shift in consciousness, from a narrow focus to a broad awareness of all that surrounds us. The following exercise is adapted from the Wilderness Awareness School, which teaches tracking and wilderness skills.
Wide Vision
Go to your special spot or to a place where you can be outside in nature and wander (without the risk of getting seriously lost). Stand for a moment and fix your eyes on a spot directly in front of you. Open your arms wide, pressing them back so that you can’t see your hands. Now, wiggling your thumbs, bring your arms slowly forward until you can see the movement with your peripheral vision. Notice how wide that vision can be. Imagine that you can send a pulse of energy that circles around the edge of your peripheral vision, to keep it active at its farthest extent.
Now take a walk, and wander. If you need to, stop periodically and repeat this exercise to reawaken your wide vision. How does your experience change with this mode of awareness?
Dropped and Open Attention
Cybele brought this awareness technique into the broader Reclaiming community. She learned it from aikido teacher Wendy Palmer, but in our community it has taken on a slightly different form and many new uses.
When we set out with a purpose, but no road map or clear destination, we need to pay attention to all the cues from our environment and all the promptings of intuition. Dropped and open attention is another way of shifting our usual focus and opening up a new center of awareness.
Get into a relaxed position, and take some deep breaths. Ground and center yourself.
Imagine that your awareness is a point of light in the center of your head, directly behind your third eye. Take a moment and feel your consciousness centered here.
Now, breathing deeply, let your awareness begin to sink down. Imagine that point of light slowly moving down your spine, a little farther with each breath.
When it reaches your heart, pause for a moment. Take a few deep breaths and feel your awareness centered in your heart.
Now continue breathing, and let that point of light sink down again, until it rests in that energy center just below your navel. Breathe deeply, and let yourself experience dropped attention.
Now as you breathe, imagine that your awareness can expand. That point of light becomes a disc, or a plane of attention. Let it expand out until it reaches the edges of your physical body. Breathe deeply, and feel your awareness encompass your physical body, while still remaining connected to your center.
Now let your awareness expand until it reaches the edge of your aura, your energy body. Breathe deeply, and feel your awareness encompass your energy body, while still remaining connected to your center.
Now as you breathe, let your awareness expand until it encompasses this circle. Notice how as we all do this, our consciousness merges until we create one plane of attention. Notice what it feels like to let your awareness include each person in this circle, while still remaining connected to your center. You may find that your attention moves around the circle like a radar sweep, or you may be able to hold the circle as one seamless whole.
Now as you breathe, draw your attention inward again. Thank the circle, and bring your awareness back to the edges of your energy body. Feel how we separate as we do this.
Now breathe deeply again, and bring your attention back to the edges of your physical body. And now as you breathe, draw it back into a point of light in the center of your belly.
Breathe deeply again, and slowly let that point of light rise. Pause again for a moment at your heart, and then let it continue upward to your head or wherever you feel comfortable.
Open your eyes and come back into your usual awareness.
When you have practiced dropped and open attention enough so that you feel comfortable and can easily move in and out, go back to your special spot or out to some natural area where you can safely wander a bit. Sit still or take a walk in dropped and open attention, and notice how your experience changes. How is it different from wandering in wide attention? In your normal state of consciousness?
Spontaneous Ritual Sequence
For us as ritual makers, the equivalent of wandering in the wilderness without a map is to attempt a spontaneous ritual without a plan. We recommend you try these exercises in a circle of close friends committed to this work—not in a public ritual and not as a way of introducing the concept of magic to your Aunt Freda who never heard of it before. Sometimes spontaneous rituals can be incredibly alive, exciting, and empowering; at other times the value will lie not so much in the ritual itself as in what you learn from the process.
Spontaneous Ritual 1
Alert the group ahead of time that the meeting that is to follow will be a spontaneous ritual. Encourage people to bring drums, instruments—whatever ritual objects suggest themselves. When the circle gathers, the usual leaders or teachers should refrain from speaking or offering guidance. Eventually, someone will remember that a spontaneous ritual is planned, and things will begin to happen. Let the energy develop and complete itself; but attempt to bring closure at least forty-five minutes before the end of the meeting time. Then discuss some of the following questions:
What happened? Who took leadership? Who initiated actions? Which ideas were adopted by the group? Which fell flat? Why? Who mirrored and amplified ideas and impulses suggested by others? What unspoken rules did the group adopt? (For example, many times the group interprets this exercise to mean wordless ritual, even though no such instructions have been given.) How much power did each participant feel she or he had to affect the group? Did the group come together as a coherent whole? What transformation occurred in the ritual?
Did you think to use your anchor to your core worth in this process? Did you get pulled into inflation or deflation?
For those who are working alone, experiment with creating a spontaneous ritual for yourself, using whatever tools come to hand, flowing with your own energy. Note what seems to encourage your flow and what seems to block it.
Identifying/Clarifying Ritual Intention
Create sacred space. In the center of the circle, place something to focus on: a bowl of salt water, a cauldron, a candle flame, a symbol of the group. Use your anchor, and bring yourselves into your anchored connection to your core worth. Ask, “What do we need?”; “What does our community need?”; “What does the Godd
ess need?”; “What transformation might a ritual bring?” Go into dropped and open attention, focus on your central object, and consider the questions. As answers emerge, individuals are free to speak them out. One person might volunteer to record the ideas. Allow time for everyone to speak at least once. You might hear such words as bonding, celebrating, resolving old conflicts, marking our transitions.
Come back from dropped and open attention, turn on the lights, break out the food, and discuss what came up. Identify a clear intention for the ritual, one that you can formulate in one sentence. For example: “The intention of this ritual is to release our old conflicts and celebrate the growth we’ve made as a group.” Make sure everyone feels heard and can support the intention of the ritual.
If you are working alone, give yourself time to drop, open, and focus, considering your needs and what a ritual might provide. Clarify your own intention.
Spontaneous Ritual 2
At the next group meeting, begin by reminding the circle of the intention they’ve agreed upon and that this session will also involve spontaneous ritual. Use your anchor to your core worth, and then go into dropped and open attention. Let a spontaneous ritual emerge. Again, be sure to leave enough time to process. Discuss the questions suggested earlier for the first spontaneous ritual. Ask also: “How was this ritual different from our first spontaneous ritual?”
If you are working alone, notice how your own ritual is different when your intention is clear.
In our story, after Rose wanders long enough in the wilderness, she finds help. The old woman comes to her and offers guidance. As teachers, leaders, activists, and ritual makers, we also need to learn to recognize help and guidance, and to meet it with generosity. And we need to learn how to offer guidance that can be truly empowering to others.
Rose is not misled by appearances or marks of status; her guide may look like an old beggar woman, but still Rose listens to her words. So, too, we may receive the teachings we need from someone who has none of the outer trappings of success or the marks of status we expect. Our guide may even be caught in her or his own inflation or deflation. Few teachers, even spiritual teachers, are exempt from ordinary human failings. Yet the message may be valid even if the messenger is flawed.
Few of us have had the gift of true mentoring. Most of us have experienced teaching in situations of power-over. In resistance to hierarchy, we often have trouble allowing ourselves to admit that someone else might have something to teach us. When we are not grounded in our own power, we may respond to help with hostility or resentment instead of generosity. We cannot differentiate between true guidance and control. If we are caught in an inflated image of ourselves or stuck in a place of deflation and low self-esteem, someone else’s greater experience or knowledge may seem threatening rather than enlightening. We may long for the perfect teacher yet find ourselves unable to accept the help that actually comes to us in imperfect human forms.
When we take on roles of leadership, we become guides for each other. In Reclaiming, we know that every person—whether teacher, student, elder, or newcomer—can potentially be the wise woman. But offering advice and guidance is a delicate matter. How do we offer help without disempowering the recipient? How does guidance differ from control?
The work that follows is designed to help us explore these issues.
Guidance Meditation
In sacred space, ground, center, and sit or lie in a relaxed position. Think of someone who has given you true help or guidance, who has taught you something or opened a new opportunity for you. Did you ask for their help, or did they offer it? What made it an empowering experience for you? Was there anything they said or did that made it easy for you to receive?
What mistakes did they make? What imperfections do they have? Do they get in the way of your learning, or can you take what they offer and leave what doesn’t fit?
What offering did you give in return? Have you expressed your gratitude?
Breathe in, and consciously take in the help you’ve been offered. Breathe out, and consciously offer gratitude back to your guide. Take your time. With each breath, allow your lungs to open more fully and open yourself more deeply to the help that is around us.
When you are done, take time in your circle to share your insights. Or, if you are alone, write in your journal about what you experienced.
Offering Guidance/Anchor Exercise
This exercise can be done in pairs or in a group. Begin by reviewing the “Anchoring to Core Worth” and “Inflated/Deflated Self” exercises in the Outer Path in chapter 1.
One partner, or one person in the group, will be the Guide. The other or others will be the Witness/es.
The task of the Witness/es is simply to listen and to notice how your feelings change throughout this exercise.
You, as the Guide, should think of some subject about which you have knowledge—ideally something fairly nonemotional, such as how to clean the kitchen floor or how to change the oil in your car.
Use your anchor, and bring yourself into your core worth state. Then drop your anchor, and allow yourself to move into inflation. When you are confidently there, begin to advise your Witness/es on the subject you have chosen.
Witnesses, listen to the Guide. Notice how you feel, how your body is positioned, and how you are breathing. What state of consciousness are you pulled into? Are you interested? Engaged? Bored? Annoyed? Is it easy or difficult to take in information from the Guide in this state?
Now, Guide, let go of your inflated state. Take a moment to reground, and then let yourself go into deflation. Again, give guidance from this state. Witnesses, again notice how you feel and respond.
Now, Guide, let go of your deflated state. Breathe deeply, shake out your hands, and use your anchor to bring yourself back into your core worth. Give guidance to your Witness/es from this state. Witness/es, again notice and observe what happens to you, considering all the questions raised earlier.
In partners, you can now repeat this exercise, reversing roles. In a group, you might want to stop and discuss what you’ve observed. Witness/es, how did you respond to the changing state of the Guide? When was it easiest or most difficult to take in information? What other subtle messages were conveyed along with the overt information? Repeat this exercise with Witnesses exploring different states of consciousness: wide awareness, dropped and open attention. What insights do these bring?
Now, Guide, tell or teach something you feel passionate about, attempting to stay anchored to your core worth. Is that easy or difficult to do? Are there other states besides inflation or deflation you get pulled into? For example, when trying this exercise around an important political issue, one group noticed the Guide getting pulled into urgency and fear. What other emotional states arise?
After exploring this exercise, notice your response to guidance, advice, information, or instructions offered in your daily life. What state of being are your teachers speaking from? Your boss? The politicians in the debates?
Use this exercise to become aware of the state of being you are in when you offer help or advice. Are you connected to your core worth when you help your first-grader with her homework or tell your teenager about the dangers of unprotected sex? When you fire off that irate e-mail at 2 A.M. or tell your lover just how to improve her job situation and general character? When you facilitate the meeting or present your plan for a new project?
When you catch yourself getting inflated or deflated, whether as a giver or as a receiver of help, make it a conscious practice to use your anchor and bring yourself back to your core worth. How does that change the situation? Sometimes simply speaking from your anchored state can shift the consciousness around you.
Rose receives guidance because of her generosity. She offers the old woman bread. She makes her offering before she receives anything in return, acting with true generosity, which is always what opens the door to great gifts. In our lives, too, when guidance comes we must offer something in return. We are not
spoiled children, expecting everything to come to us with no expenditure of effort on our part; we are empowered people who have something to give, embarking on an initiatory journey. We can be empowered by help only when we give something back.
Those offerings may take many forms. We may give service to our communities or pass on help or offerings to someone else. We may find something we can do for our teacher directly. We may offer our time or our labor or something less tangible—our enthusiasm, our appreciation, our beginner’s mind for a subject.
In mainstream society, every exchange of value is mediated by money, and money may be the offering of choice in exchange for teaching or counseling. No matter how ethereal the teaching, teachers cannot live on air. Money, like oxygen, permeates the very air we breathe in this society, and we cannot live in this time period without it. But our attitudes toward money are often much more highly charged than our attitudes toward air. Oxygen, after all, is fairly evenly distributed at any given altitude, and we all have access to it simply by breathing in. Money could perhaps be more realistically compared to water: it flows through society in tiny streams and broad rivers. Some people capture huge amounts of it behind dams; others wander desperately in search of a few spare drops to sustain life another day. Most of us live from springs that sometimes flow abundantly and at other times may run nearly dry. And to make money more problematic, our society equates it with value. When our water tank is empty and the spring is slow, we may find it hard to maintain our sense of personal pride and esteem. Not only is money identified with power; it often conveys power, both power over the lives of others and power in the sense of our ability to do something.
Because money is equated with value, we fear that if we do something for pay we will value only the money, that the money somehow diminishes the intrinsic value of the work. And because money is equated with power, we fear that those who have more money will wield more power. These fears arise whenever money comes up as a subject of discussion in our groups. While in many areas of our larger culture money confers status and those who have it want other people to know they have it, in alternative circles, money is often a source of embarrassment. We often avoid talking about it or dealing with it. We are far more comfortable disclosing the most intimate details of our sex lives than we are talking about money.