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LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Situated in the middle of a heavy forest, where even the bravest of hunters made certain to tread lightly, was a small and incredibly normal looking cottage. In a striking contrast with small and perfectly normal looking cottages usually found in these kinds of stories this one didn't belong to a witch. In truth the cottage belonged to a perfectly ordinary mother and her daughter who might once have had a name but was generally known on some variation of Little Red Riding Hood. The family lived in this remote cottage due to a series of bad investments made by the late Mr Riding Hood, at least it was presumed that he was late since the last anyone had ever seen of him was when he'd taken the family horse and ridden off with a promise to be back by that night.3
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THE THREE BILLY GOATS GRUFF Technically speaking our story begins with once upon a time. Although given the vast number of goats, bridges and trolls in the world it's inconceivable to think this situation hasn't happened more than once upon a time. There are, however a limited number of writers in the world which goes tends to explain why it is there aren't more stories about goats, bridges and trolls.
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THE THREE LITTLE PIGS There were once three little pigs who left their mummy and daddy in order to see the world. Actually this isn't, strictly speaking, accurate. What really happened was their parents, being concerned the trio of swine were growing far too large while the family home was far too small informed their offspring it was time to leave and the young, yet sensible, pigs gathered round their parents and listened respectfully before setting off into the world to make their fortunes.
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A BELT, A BALDRIC AND A CRAVAT
Cynical Tales for Cynical Children Page 30