by Carsen Taite
Jess flashed in my mind. Now she was dating the woman with the fancy car, fancy clothes. Just like Ronnie, turned out her lover wasn’t all she appeared to be. Jess and I were more alike than anyone realized, even us. I had a sudden craving for the easy relationship we had before Heather Deveaux entered the picture, and I realized that being with Jess was the only time I ever felt fully settled. But that wasn’t the same thing as being settled down. Was it?
Chapter Fourteen
I woke up in my childhood bedroom, half in and half out of the twin bed with the flowered comforter my mother had insisted on and we’d been too broke to replace after she walked out on us for a better life. I’d been too drunk last night to either drive or care about the flowers.
My mouth was coated with cigar smoke and a layer of beer. Ugh. I rolled out of the bed and wandered into the guest bathroom. Toothpaste and a toothbrush of unknown age and origin were in the medicine cabinet. I brushed holes in my teeth trying to get rid of the rank taste of the night before.
Back in the bedroom, I checked my phone. It was seven a.m. and the house was dead quiet. Perfect time to make my getaway. I’d slept in my clothes, so I was ready to get out. I grabbed my boots and carried them to the front door. I had my hand on the doorknob when my plan was thwarted.
“Leaving without saying good-bye?”
Mark was dressed for a jog. Not the way I dressed for my morning run. He wore matching sweats and running shoes that probably cost more than my monthly rent. I lifted my boots. “I’d go running with you, but I didn’t dress for it.”
He strode over to the door. “I’ll walk you to your car.” He didn’t say a word as we walked to the Bronco, but his expression told me he had something super serious on his mind. He climbed into the passenger side and I braced myself for a heart-to-heart.
“Spill it.”
“Breathe, Luca. I just wanted to talk to you without the rest of the crazy family around.”
“So talk.”
“You really okay? I mean you live alone. Your work’s kind of dangerous. That guy at the bar the other night seemed pretty intense.”
I stared at my little brother and tamped down my first response which was something along the lines of where do you get off trying to act all protective, Mr. Computer Nerd? But it wasn’t like him to meddle in my business, so I tempered my reaction. “Dad put you up to this?”
“No, hell, no. I mean, he and I did talk about you a little before you got here last night, but I’m genuinely concerned. You are my best man after all. You need to stay in one piece at least until the wedding.” His smile was cautious, tentative.
“I’ve managed to stay in one piece this long. I think I can manage.”
“How many times have you been shot now?”
“Not as many as I could’ve been.”
“That’s comforting.”
“Why the sudden interest in my health?” It wasn’t a toss-off question. I really wanted to know why he suddenly cared so much about the sister he only talked to a couple of times a year.
He shifted in his seat. “I guess I just miss my family. Linda’s got a huge family. They’ll all be at the wedding, and I suppose I’d like the few relatives I have to stay intact long enough to be present for the big day.”
“And after, I can go out and get myself shot up again?” I smiled so he would realize I was teasing and we both laughed.
“Yeah, that’s about right. But you’ll have to wait until you turn the tux in. I’m not buying a tux with bullet holes in it just because you couldn’t go for a day without getting into trouble.”
I punched him on the arm. “Go for your run and don’t worry about me. I’ll show up for your big day and I may even leave my gun in the car.”
“Don’t you mean guns?”
“Whatever.”
He opened the door, but leaned over and gave me an awkward hug before exiting. “I’m leaving this afternoon, but I’ll call you with details about the wedding.”
“Do I need to throw you a silly bachelor party?”
“No worries, I can take care of my own party. You just show up. That’s all.”
He wanted more than that. I could tell by the look in his eyes, but it wasn’t a party he was after. He wanted his big sister. To stand by his side, to be proud of him. I would and I was. I’d tell him later when he wasn’t being such a sap about it. For now, I only said, “No worries. I’ll be there.”
I drove by Jess’s house again after I left Dad’s. I planned to do a quick drive by, then head home to get some real sleep in a real bed. I circled through the neighborhood and didn’t see a patrol car. Didn’t surprise me since I doubted they’d put round-the-clock surveillance on her place based on my word alone. And there was the fact she was a cop and they probably expected she could take care of herself. Despite my drive-bys, I thought the same thing. Until I pulled up in front of her house and saw the front door standing open without a soul in sight.
I slammed the Bronco into park, jumped out, and ran to the door. Jess would never leave her door wide open. When I reached the entry, I pulled out my Colt and slowed down. Wouldn’t do to go charging into who knows what. I eased into the foyer and glanced around. Nothing seemed out of place on the inside, but my heart was beating so loud I was sure you could hear it down the street. Something was wrong. Really wrong.
Maybe Jess wasn’t here and Deveaux left the door open. Maybe the Russians took them both. Wait a minute. I backtracked and peered out the front door. The driveway was empty. No Beemer in sight. I walked toward the garage and looked through the glass. Jess’s Mustang was inside. So either they both left in Deveaux’s car or Deveaux left on her own. Or…
A million thoughts ran through my head, but they all came back to the front door and the fact it was open. Before I could process what was going on, a loud voice took over.
“Put the gun down. Slowly. Then turn around with your hands over your head.”
I recognized the voice, but I couldn’t place it. She spoke cop, but it wasn’t Jess. Only one way to find out and live to tell about it. I set the Colt on the ground and turned around with my hands laced behind my head.
“Nice. Now, on your knees.”
Damn. It was Officer Hotstuff, make that Pryor, the one that tried to arrest me while I was stalking Henry Marcher. What was she doing here if she was assigned to patrol South Dallas? I asked and surprisingly, she answered.
“Special duty. Funny you should ask, since you seem to get around a lot. Don’t tell me you’re looking for a jumper here.”
“You’re the funny one. This house belongs to a cop. A cop who appears to be missing. Any chance you could work on that case and stop pestering me?” I knew I should employ some diplomacy, but I didn’t have it in me. Not for her. Not until I knew where Jess was and that she was safe. Next thing I knew, the rookie had me cuffed. Damn.
“Get up. I have work to do and you’re going to sit in the back of my car until I get it done.”
I stood and silently wished I’d taken a shower before I’d left Dad’s. I could feel alcohol oozing from my pores and I knew I smelled. Book-in at the county jail on a Sunday morning wasn’t going to be much fun, and this chick was going to enjoy every minute of it. I strongly considered making a break for it, but she looked like she was anxious to fire her gun and I wasn’t a small target. I settled on diplomacy. “Look, if you’ll just call John Ames, tell him who I am, he can explain why I’m here. Detective Chance is a friend.”
“Sure. You go sneaking around all your friends’ houses with guns drawn.”
“Fine, don’t call him. He’s the one who ordered surveillance in the first place.” I prayed I was right. “You can explain to him why you let something happen to his partner while you messed around with me.”
The look of uncertainty on her face told me she wasn’t sure whether to believe me, but she didn’t completely think I was lying. I kept talking. “Think about it. She’s gone and her front door’s open. No sign of forced ent
ry, so you know I didn’t break in. But you also know she’s in danger or you wouldn’t have been assigned to watch her place. So, apparently, something happened to her on your watch and now that you know that, you’re standing here with me while the bad guys get away.”
She lowered her gun and I knew I had her. She walked over and picked up the Colt. “Come here.”
I followed her to her squad car and watched her remove the bullets and then place my gun in her trunk. She undid the cuffs, and then motioned for me to sit in the car. “Stay put. I’m going to check things out.”
She walked to the front of the house and mimicked my earlier stealth entry. I stayed put until she was out of sight. Then I pulled the Sig she would’ve found if she’d patted me down and stepped out of the car. I was pissed the department had sent a bumbling rookie to take care of Jess, and I’ll be damned if I was going to sit around and wait for her to assess the situation. I made it two steps when I heard another voice behind me. “Luca, what the hell are you doing?” I recognized this one too.
I took a second to holster the Sig before I turned around. I didn’t think Jess would shoot me, but we definitely weren’t connecting lately, and I didn’t want to take any chances. When I was finally facing her, I was both relieved and sad to see she looked as worn out as I did. My relief faded quickly into anger. “Where have you been? There’s a cop inside your house looking for your dead body. Your front door’s wide open and you were nowhere in sight.”
“I went for a run. Heather must’ve left the door open.” She looked at the ground. “The lock’s tricky.” She started to the door. “Who’s inside?”
“Officer Pryor. You know, the one who thinks I’m a common criminal. She took my gun. You’re going to have to get it back. And you need to get a different girlfriend if she can’t learn to shut the door.”
“She going to shoot me if I sneak up on her?”
“Who? Your girlfriend?”
“No, jerk, Pryor.”
“Probably.”
“Fine. I’ll wait out here.” She pushed off the car and paced. Something was wrong. Wasn’t like her not to just charge in and take care of the situation. And the way she’d glossed over my mention of Deveaux. Not like her not to bite back. On her next pass, I grabbed her arm.
“What’s up with you?”
She shook out of my grasp. “What’s up with you?”
“Nothing, but I’m not the one acting weird. Where is your girlfriend, anyway? It’s pretty early to be out and about on a Sunday morning.”
“Right back at you.”
“Seriously, Jess. What’s going on?”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Oh, we’re back to that, are we?”
“She left.”
“I get that. Where did she go?”
“I told her she couldn’t stay here until she cleared things up with the Feds. She checked into the Ritz until she figures out if she’s even staying in Dallas. I don’t know what she’s going to do.” She sagged and I reached over to pull her toward me, but she jerked to attention and I heard footsteps behind us. I turned around to see Officer Busybody approach.
“Detective Chance? Are you okay? Is she bothering you?”
Before I could muster up a smart-ass remark, Jess pulled her aside and they held a whispered conference. When they broke apart, Pryor opened the trunk and pulled out my Colt. She handed it to me with a huge frown, then got in her car and drove off.
“What now?” I asked Jess.
“You go home. I go in my house.” She stalked off toward the house and I followed. She hadn’t even asked me why I’d come by and apparently didn’t care, but I had a lot of questions, and I wasn’t leaving until she answered some of them.
When she reached the door, she shook her head, but left it open and I followed her inside. I was prepared to have to wrestle information out of her, but I wasn’t ready for what happened next. As soon as I stepped over the threshold, she reached back and slammed the door shut behind me and pressed me against it. Her lips were on mine before I could register what was going on, and my reflexes gave in before I could process. I didn’t need to—this was natural. While we exchanged hungry kisses, I reached my hands under her shirt and slid them up to her breasts, pinching, rubbing, pulling her closer. She pushed off me for a second and ripped her shirt over her head, then fell back against me like she’d been sucked by a vacuum.
My head swam and I had one of those out of body moments, where I was watching the action. And the action was good. Jess was all over me, one hand on my crotch, one hand up my shirt, her lips switching between my lips and my neck, powerful, insatiable. I wanted this, her wanting me like this, but it felt too much like the hasty fuck outside of the strip club. Quick, unfulfilling, regrettable.
I wanted more. As she started to slide her hand into my jeans, and I pulled out of her kiss long enough to gasp, “I’m filthy. Let’s shower. Then let’s do it in the shower. Then in bed. Let’s do it all day.”
I may as well have thrown a bucket of cold water at her. Pow. Spell broken. The glaze in her eyes fell away and she stepped back. “Sorry, I don’t know what got into me.”
I stayed in place, but reached out. “Don’t be sorry. This is good, but it can be better. Don’t you think?”
Her face was a mask. I couldn’t tell what she thought, but I could tell the moment was gone. We weren’t having sex, casual or otherwise. Not today.
“Look, I’m tired. Maybe you should go.”
I stared at her, trying to figure out what had changed. Despite her attempt at defiance, I saw hurt in her eyes. I hadn’t put it there, but I wanted to erase it. She’d been fine with the idea of a hasty lay, but the moment I’d suggested something more, the stakes were too high. A good friend would’ve given her what she needed, but I feared a quick fuck would leave us both empty, and the realization was my very own bucket of cold water.
I’d never questioned what we had. Whether it was enough, whether it had any meaning beyond friends fulfilling a mutual need. Until now. In this moment, I recognized Jess wanted to fuck away her hurt. I’d always known that on some level, but for the first time, I realized I wanted to be more than a placeholder for something or someone better. For a lover.
I wasn’t mad, I didn’t feel used, but I did feel done. It was time to go. Jess would have to mourn Deveaux some other way, and I would find a different way to give her what she needed. I closed the distance between us and did my best to ignore her slight flinch as I leaned in. “I’ll leave now, but I’m not gone.” I kissed her on the cheek and left her standing in the doorway.
*
As I pulled away from Chance’s place, I left an urgent message with dispatch for John. I may not be able to give her what she needed, but I could make sure she was safe.
My apartment was exactly the same as I left it. Lonely. A definitive bachelor pad with heaps of dirty laundry and empty to-go containers. I would not be getting any awards for housekeeper of the year, and I had no desire to do anything about that today. As I walked to the bedroom, I started pulling off clothes. I tossed them into one of the several piles on the floor and then climbed into the shower. Not gonna lie, I was still aroused after my close encounter with Jess, and I considered taking care of myself under the hot stream of water, but the idea of utilitarian sex didn’t have the same appeal it used to. What the hell was wrong with me?
I ran out all the hot water before I stepped out and toweled off. A loud knock on the door caught me before I could find something clean to wear. Not entirely sure I even had any clean clothes, I wrapped the towel around my waist and went to the door. I barked, “Who is it?”
“It’s Collier. We need to talk.”
“Go away. I’ll call you later.”
“What’s the matter, Bennett? You have an early morning date? Or did she just not leave from last night?”
That did it. I was pissed now. How dare she show up whenever the hell she wanted and turn my life upside down? I swung t
he door wide and watched while she sucked in her breath. “What’s the matter, Collier? Never seen a half-naked woman before? Oh, wait, you used to make a living out of being half-naked, and this”—I pointed at my chest—“well, you’ve seen this several times now. Still not used to it?”
She stepped in and shut the door behind her. “Someone has a chip on her naked shoulder. Want me to kiss it and make you feel better?”
She said it like a dare and I took her up on it. I dropped the towel and pulled her toward me, taking the kiss she’d offered before she could react. She resisted for a second and then melted into me. I drew power from her submission and I pressed harder with my body, my hands, my lips. As if I could force fuck the rest of my day into oblivion.
When I finally came up for a breath, she spoke one word. “Bed?”
One word shouldn’t have been enough to shake me out of my trance, but it did. Hard. I stepped back and then, suddenly embarrassed, I reached over and picked up the towel. She placed a hand on my arm before I could wrap it around myself.
“Something I said?”
I shrugged her off and hid in the towel. Not entirely sure what was wrong with me today. Two hot women wanted to fuck me, and here I was, holding out for more. Silly, really, considering I’d never cared about more before. Never even believed in it. Not sure I believed in it now. All I had to do was drop the towel and I could spend the next few hours engaged in my favorite means of forgetting. After the morning I’d had, I deserved it.