Truly, Madly, Deeply

by Marian Tee

  The four of them were able to snatch a few minutes of good-natured ribbing and small talk before Damen was called away for work and Mairi had to get Nala ready for her ballet class in the afternoon.

  "Oh, and Diana, before you go..."

  In the act of reaching for her iPad, Diana turned to face the screen again, her sister-in-law's mischievous tone making her curious. "What is it?"

  "You might have fooled your brother for now, but I'm so on to you."

  "Huh?"

  "You're a creature of habit, Di. It's not like you to be late in taking our calls, and---" Mairi's tone lowered to a whisper. "It's so not like you to suddenly start wearing black undies."

  Shit. Oh, shit. Diana fought hard to keep herself from blushing as she tried to bluff her way out, asking innocently, "What about it?"

  "Uh huh."

  "I just wanted to try wearing black. That's all."

  "Sure it is." Mairi's tone was sly.

  "I'm not kidding---"

  Her sister-in-law waved her words away, asking eagerly instead, "Who is he?"

  "I really don't know what you're talking about."

  "Oh, come on. I'm just really excited that you've finally found a guy you like."

  Diana made a show of checking the time. "I'm going to be late."

  "Spoilsport," Mairi grumbled. "But because I'm a nice person, I promise I'll keep your secret---"

  "Goodbye, Mairi."

  "And don't worry, I'll make sure to take care of Damen, too."

  She was about to end the call when she realized too late what her sister-in-law meant to do. "Mairi---"

  "Talk to you next week, Di!"

  "No, wait---"

  But the screen had already turned black, and Diana bit back a groan. While Mairi always meant well, she also always ended up having her best-laid plans backfire. Which means, Diana thought uneasily, Mairi taking care of Diana's brother would most likely end up the opposite and have Damen banging on her front door and thinking the worst.

  Diana took a deep breath.

  Isaiah 26:3, Isaiah 26:3, Isaiah 26:3.

  Mairi might be a walking trouble magnet, but even she couldn't get in the way of the Lord. Right?

  Together

  This Is Why I Need You by Jesse Ruben

  Diana was about to leave the dorm when the resident manager called out to her, asking for her to wait.

  He came back a moment later, a small, beautifully wrapped parcel in his hands. He handed it over to her with a smile, and she took it gingerly, unable to think of any reason why she would be sent a present.

  "This is really for me?" she asked doubtfully.

  "No other gal here by the name of Diana Leventis," Lenny answered cheerfully, "so I'd have to say yes."

  Since the package didn't come with any card, she asked, "Did you get a name?"

  "Afraid not. Maybe you've got a secret admirer?"

  Diana couldn't stop her cheeks from turning red. "I don't think so."

  And the lady truly meant it, Lenny thought ruefully as Diana thanked him before turning away. Poor gal. That Esther Leventis woman must've been a real horror, to have made a pretty little swan like Diana think of herself as an ugly duckling.

  A cautious but irrepressible form of optimism had infected Diana's senses by the time she made it out of the dorm, and unable to help it, she plopped down on the nearest bench and eagerly began unwrapping it.

  Underneath the layers of foil wrapper and soft tissue was a box, and hope reluctantly gave way to confusion at what she was seeing.

  An iPhone?

  Granted, it was the latest model, but...an iPhone?

  Maybe Damen needed to give her another phone for security reasons? It would be just like him if so, and she wouldn't be even surprised if this came with GPS tracking and whatnot.

  She opened the box, and the first thing she saw was the sticky note posted on its screen.

  The passcode is the date we first met.

  And that was when she knew, her eyes stinging, her heart skipping a beat, and a euphoric burst of hope exploding inside of her with such force that she could barely breathe.

  Her fingers shook as she turned the iPhone on, and her heart skipped another beat as she typed the numbers that corresponded with the clue. The lock screen blinked out, and the next thing she saw was the new message notification.

  One click, and her heart started pounding.

  Matthijs: In the event you need to contact me.

  A helpless smile played over her lips.

  Diana: Is that your way of saying you want to keep in touch?

  Matthijs: No.

  Diana: But you went as far as buying me an iPhone.

  Matthijs: To ensure our means of communication remains secure and private.

  Diana: Why can't you just lie and say you want to talk to me?

  Matthijs: Because you'd never believe me even when I tell you the truth.

  Diana: You're so serious.

  Almost an entire minute passed, and there still wasn't anything from the professor, almost as if he were saying he would only deign to text her back if she had shared something worthwhile.

  It rather reminded her of how Damen was, and she couldn't help smiling. This type of similarity with her brother, she would definitely welcome.

  Diana: When I text you here, there's really no way anyone else would read our messages?

  Matthijs: Given sufficient heads-up, not even if someone steals your phone.

  Diana: In that case...I think I've got a crush on you, Professor de Graaf.

  On the other side of town, the professor had just grabbed his car keys and was about to leave his place when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out, saw what she had texted, and threw the keys back on the console before heading back to the shower.

  He had a boner to attend to, all thanks to his dark-haired troublemaker.

  As for Diana, it wasn't until she was on her third class for the day when she noticed the New Message icon on her secret phone.

  Matthijs: Fuck.

  Diana went to her next class with a huge smile on her face, and her buoyant feelings, having spilled over to lunch, had her friends exchanging baffled looks.

  "Are you alright?" Magnolia was frankly concerned. The last time she had seen Diana, the other girl had been crying her heart out. Fast forward to today, and Diana looked so blissfully happy she was in danger of floating off any second.

  Diana couldn’t help feeling sheepish upon seeing Magnolia's frowning expression. "I'm sorry for worrying you guys the past few days."

  Amine raised a brow. "And?"

  "I'm, um, okay now?" Diana had to fight back a silly grin when she saw Magnolia looking ready to strangle her. "I'm really sorry for worrying you?" She saw Magnolia raise her hands threateningly and choked back a laugh. "I'm sorry, really sorry!" Diana clapped her hands together in a gesture of apology. "But that's all I can say."

  "What do you mean that's all you can say?" Magnolia glared at her. "You owe us an explanation, Diana Leventis."

  "I---"

  Amine shook her head, a look of wry expression on her face. "Don't bother, Mags." She made a vague circular gesture towards Diana's face. "Just look at her. It's all there."

  Magnolia's blue eyes narrowed. The soft, bright light in her dark eyes, the brush of pale pink in her cheeks, and most of all, the lips that couldn't quite stop curving in a secret smile.

  "You're in lust," Magnolia accused.

  Amine, in the act of taking another sip of her hot soy milk, ended up sputtering instead. "Oh, for heaven's sake. She's in love."

  Magnolia wrinkled her nose in distaste. "One word: yuck."

  Diana swallowed back a laugh, and seeing that the two were about to launch into their usual bickering, quickly made a move to forestall this, saying firmly, "It's neither." Her friends' heads simultaneously snapped towards her direction, so fast that Diana found herself taken aback, and she said weakly, "I'm just happy?"

  They crossed the
ir arms over their chests, both of them wearing I'm-still-waiting expressions on their lovely faces, and feeling obliged to elaborate, Diana said in a small voice, "There's a guy I like...and he likes me back."

  One, two, three seconds passed, and then Magnolia and Amine burst into squeals and giggles, and Diana couldn't help giggling as well as the two engulfed her in big, warm hugs.

  How did it start?

  How do you know he likes you back?

  Were you crying because you thought he didn't like you at first?

  Did he hurt you? Did he grovel for you to take him back?

  On and on the questions went that Diana had to throw her hands up in a pleading gesture. "I can't. It's just...I want to keep things private for now."

  "Spoilsport," Magnolia grumbled.

  But Amine was looking perturbed. "He's not married, is he?"

  "What? No." Diana couldn't help send her friend a chiding look. "I'm not that kind of girl."

  Amine's slender shoulders moved in a shrug. "You'd be surprised at what people could do for love."

  "But...to commit adultery?"

  "You really never know until you're in the situation yourself."

  Diana wasn't sure she agreed with this, and even as lunch hour came to an end, she found herself still mulling it over.

  How far could she go for love?

  She couldn't think of any ready answer to this, but then she suddenly found herself thinking of him, and a shiver ran down her spine. It was like having someone walk over her grave, and she couldn't help thinking, couldn't help worrying that for the professor, she could easily see herself doing (and had already done) crazy things for.

  And to think...

  She wasn't in love with him yet.

  Her

  Diana wasn't in the habit of eavesdropping.

  But while she was waiting in line at the bus stop, words from the conversation happening behind her started penetrating her daydreams of the professor, and she found herself inadvertently doing just that.

  Two women in their thirties, both of them working as cashiers for the same local grocery, and then moonlighting afterwards: one was a waitress at a diner while another did part-time at a convenience store near her house.

  An idea started brewing in Diana's mind as she listened to the pair exchange horror stories about their shared workplace, which ranged from a misogynist boss who thought nothing of calling his female workers 'dumb pussies' to having to pay for a customer's groceries because an old woman had gotten away with faking an accident at Aisle 5 and blaming the staff for it.

  While she wasn't quite sure of the whys and hows yet, she did know that she was listening to something important, and when their bus finally arrived, Diana made certain to sit behind the pair so she could better (and discreetly, too, hopefully) observe them.

  Tired was the first word that came to mind as Diana took in their appearances, their exhaustion so deeply seated in their systems that it almost seemed a scent they wore.

  The two women's talk had turned to Hollywood gossip, and Diana leaned back against her seat, feeling like she was missing something crucial.

  She turned her gaze to the window in a bid to contain her restlessness and frustration.

  She still had ten minutes before her stop, which was a short walk from the suicide help center Helder Meer had a long-standing arrangement with. In exchange of volunteer hours, students were given a chance to consult the staff, make use of its library with its specialized collections in medical literature, and conduct structured interviews with some of the in-house patients.

  She had already spent a few hours there in the past days, and while Diana had found the time illuminating, it hadn't felt...enough. Something was missing. Something that she had this unshakable conviction of finding somewhere else, but what it was exactly escaped her. She only knew she would recognize it when she found it...

  Life's the biggest bully of them all.

  Like now.

  Diana jerked up in her seat, the words she had heard from one of the women making her heart thud against her chest.

  I know right? It just keeps kicking you down, and it never gives you a break.

  Before she could think twice of what she was doing, she was already leaning down to tap on one of the women's shoulders and hearing herself say, "Hi."

  The two women turned to her in wary surprise. "Yeah?"

  "I'm, umm, Diana, a student from Helder Meer. I was wondering if I could interview you..."

  "For what?" The Hispanic woman was visibly bewildered.

  "That depends," her blonde friend joked at the same time. "How much will you be paying us?"

  Diana didn't hesitate, quoting a figure that had the two women gaping, and because she really wanted to make it happen, she added right after, "Free dinner, too."

  The blonde threw her head back with a laugh. "For that kind of deal, hon, we'd change our names and rewrite our life stories for you."

  Him

  The professor couldn't reach for his phone fast enough when he saw it vibrate and slide towards the edge of his desk.

  Diana: Good night, Professor.

  He inhaled deeply and told himself to play it cool. There wasn't any need to reply, and he liked to think she wasn't one of those snowflake types that he thoroughly despised and who would find offense in just about every fucking thing.

  So forget what you read and get back to work.

  But instead his fingers started moving.

  Matthijs: It's two in the morning already.

  Diana: I know. :(

  The sad face at the end was cute. It shouldn't be, but that was how he found it, and the realization had him cursing under his breath. Goddamn it to hell, but he really had it fucking bad for this girl.

  And then a thought occurred to him, and his face hardened.

  Matthijs: Out partying late?

  He had never fished for information his entire life. Not fucking once. And if she let it slip that she was out partying with another guy and she was stupid enough to come to his class tomorrow hung over, he just might kill her. Then kill himself afterwards because he had never had a thing for girls who lived to club, and Diana had him so blind with lust that he had failed to see the truth about her.

  A moment later, her answer in text arrived, and his tension slightly eased as her words dispelled his worst fears.

  Diana: I'm working on V2.0 of my proposal. I have a scary professor to impress. I don't want him mad at me again.

  Matthijs: Only a heartless bastard could be mad at you.

  Diana: Oh, I don't think so. He can get mean and cruel, and he has a way with words that can rip you into pieces, but I don't think he's heartless. TBH...I think he's rather hot.

  Matthijs: And I think you're a masochist.

  Diana: *blush* If anyone else had said that, I'd totally find it creepy. But when it's you...

  The professor scowled. Don't say it. Don't fucking say it. Don't. But he was already reaching for his iPhone, and as he hit Send on his message---

  Matthijs: It turns you on?

  Her reply had arrived at the same fucking time.

  Diana: It turns me on.

  And upon seeing it, the professor was back to cursing in seven languages. He drove his fingers through his hair in a fit of frustration and clenched and unclenched his fist. But neither helped, and his body, which far from cooling down had instead turned into a tightly coiled mass of sexual need.

  Diana: Oh. Wow.

  Matthijs: This doesn't change things.

  Diana: But it does. Because whether you like it or not...You're already close to choosing me.

  The professor, being no idiot, knew when to pick his battles.

  Matthijs: I'll see you tomorrow.

  Diana: But I want to talk some more. :(

  Matthijs somehow found the strength to turn his iPhone off for the night. If he didn't, those cute emojis of her would end up getting him to do fucking anything.

  Leaning back against his seat, he cl
osed his eyes wearily and thought to himself, What the fuck am I doing? Hadn't he told her - and himself - that nothing could happen between them? So why the hell were they still playing this game and acting like they had a fucking future?

  He briefly considered finishing the rest of his work, but burning the midnight oil - once a favorite hobby of his - had lost its appeal, and he eventually ended up lying in bed, staring sightlessly at the skylight above him as sleep continued to evade his clutches.

  His mood remained black and destructive the next morning, and he had to take several deep breaths before entering his class, not wanting to risk fucking up and taking his anger out on her again.

  But as soon as he entered the room, his gaze found hers, and he realized right away he had been worrying for nothing. A single glimpse of the shy but eager look in her sweet doe eyes, and the professor was done for. He was an animal in heat and mindless slave all rolled into one fucked-up mess, and even knowing this - he didn't give a damn.

  God, how he wanted her.

  And then he noticed the way his students were staring at him oddly, and the professor let out a cough.

  Dammit.

  He had been standing in front of his class like an idiot who had been asked to illustrate a correlation between the theories of nihilism and general relativity.

  And all because she was there.

  His gaze drifted towards her one last time, and he saw her bite back a smile.

  Fuck.

  He found that cute, too.

  As well as being a massive turn-on---

  Ah, shit.

  Get yourself together, idiot.

  The professor snatched the clipboard on his desk and began rattling out names of students who had failed to propose something feasible in the last class. He noticed the way the whole class turned to Diana when he said her name, and regret bit into him as memories of their last encounter returned with a vengeance.

  You're an even bigger idiot than I gave you credit for.

  This was enough to make him wince, but when he caught sight of her in his peripheral vision, her face was a lovely blank canvas, and damned if he knew what to make of it.