by Daye, Elissa
Tears welled up in her eyes and a slight wobble entered her voice as she worked up enough courage to respond to him. “You’re right. I didn’t think.” She had nothing more to say.
“Papa, did you scare the birds away?” Sophia’s eyes looked up at Grant with disappointment. “I like the birds, Papa.”
“Birds?” Grant’s perplexed face looked over at Sophia. “What birds, Sophia?”
“The ones Mama called down from the heavens. And the bees too, Papa. You scared away the bees too.”
“Malinda?” He wondered what his child was carrying on about.
His voice cut across the silence, but Malinda refused to answer it. She looked away from him and stared at the ground below them. It was bad enough for him to treat her as if she had deliberately put his child in danger. In that moment in time he had made it clear where she truly stood in his life. She was just a wife, just a woman he had paid good money to marry so that she could help raise his child. The anger rose in her along with her hair that now crackled with electricity around her. Malinda did the best she could to calm herself before anyone else could notice, but the merry twinkle in Grant’s eyes made it clear that he had seen the energy race through her. Before her emotions could do any damage she dropped the reins, jumped down from the cart, and made a mad dash into the forest. Grant called after her, but Malinda did not care. She ran until her surroundings no longer looked familiar, and while the Lair could still be lurking around any corner, she did not care.
Her heart beat an angry rhythm against the wall of her chest and she found it hard to control her breathing. Every burst of air that entered her lungs expunged into dry sobs that stung the silence around her. The tears that ran down her face crippled her, for she knew the pain she was feeling was dangerous, more dangerous than a sharp serpent’s poisonous fangs. If Malinda was not careful, she would find a realization that would break every inch of her into nothingness. She pushed back her thoughts, pushed back past the wall that separated dreams from reality. In her dreams, she could easily see Grant before her. His devilishly handsome face, his golden eyes, the long blonde curls that he tried to keep tamed behind his ears. Malinda could feel the touch of his lips on hers and the strong hands that carved pathways down her aching body. She felt the glow of a peaceful light surround her, but only in her dreams. For in reality these feelings were anything but calm. They had destroyed everything her mother could ever have hoped to be. She put her hands to her head and squeezed her eyes shut against the madness, a madness that could cost her everything, but a madness that, if she was truthful, she desired more than anything. It was in that moment that she realized she could no longer fight it.
She fell to her knees and looked desperately to the heavens above. She loved him. What was she going to do? It was the curse of Lena to love so hard, so fully, that the world around you tilted on its axis. She sat there on her knees and did not hear the snap of the twigs behind her.
When Malinda looked up she saw something entirely unexpected. “Mother?”
The spirit that stood before her was almost a mirror of herself, except for the blue eyes that looked at her daughter sorrowfully. Her black hair was wound around her head in tiny little braids and decorated with small white flowers. She raised her hand out to touch to Malinda’s face, but dropped it before she could make contact.
“What are you doing here?” Malinda climbed to her feet swiftly and moved several steps away from the ghost.
The translation of Andraya’s sadness was easy to comprehend, for tears ran down her face like rain drops trailing down a window pane. “To give you the chance I never had.”
Malinda’s eyes narrowed at the woman before her. “Please. You had a chance.”
“I did, but I was too afraid to fight. Too afraid to live. You are none of those things. You have a choice.”
“Choice? There is no choice, Mother.”
“Fight for it, Malinda. That’s all I had to do. If I had known then, if I could change the past…so many ifs, my sweet beautiful child. The only thing I can do is carry the message you should have been given.” Her sadness invaded the empty space in between them.
“What message?” Malinda could not help the scowl that marred her face.
“Do not fear love. Fight for it. It is worth fighting for. You have so much more courage, so much more fight in you than I ever did. I cannot ask for forgiveness, Malinda. I do not deserve it. I was a coward. Love can break you, it can make you turn yourself inside and out, and with the blood of Lena running through your veins, love can be an awesome burden to carry. Your magic is founded on it. Love for the world around you, the people in your lives, love for yourself. If you fear the power of love forever you will never know the true power of Lena.” Andraya waved her hand in the air and small darting lights chased the darkness in the clearing around them. They zipped and zoomed in every direction, creating a dazzling display of light that was blinding. They soon swarmed around Malinda and a hum of energy blanketed the time and space around her.
Malinda felt the world spin out from underneath her. Everything turned upside down and inside out. A cloud of darkness covered her as she crashed to the ground. She felt transported through time and space, moving so quickly her body could not keep up with her mind as she traveled back to where it all started.
She saw her mother standing before Marshal Madigan. His eyes were red as he begged her not to leave, telling her that he no longer cared about his title, money, any of the material things that his former life had offered. Malinda watched as her mother turned away from him with tears clouding her eyes as she told him that he was nothing without all those things and that she did not want a simple life. Malinda saw her mother as she walked away from Marshal, saw her leave the small church and make her way into the deep undergrowth of the forest before she collapsed on the ground. Then she had finally given way to the sorrowful sobs that ricocheted around the air like an echoing thunder that shattered the stillness of an abysmally quiet night.
Malinda suddenly understood a lot about why her mother did not recover from her love for Marshal. She did not suffer a broken heart as many women of Lena did; the actual act of loving another person had not destroyed her. She had been punished for carelessly throwing away the love that had been destined for her. Destiny was a fickle mistress, for sometimes, if you departed from the path that had been carved into the stepping stones of your life, everything could be lost in a heartbeat. There was only one reason that destiny had not destroyed her instantaneously: Malinda’s life had already started to glimmer inside Andraya like a star peeping out of the dark night sky, and even though Andraya had not known at the time, it was no secret to the universe. It all made sense to Malinda now that she had all the pieces. Malinda had set out to destroy any chances at love by holding herself far away from any opportunity for love, but somewhere along the line, she had found out that sometimes loving people was entirely safe and worthwhile. She had loved her grandparents deeply and that love had never destroyed her. She had loved Sophia the instant she saw the troubled child walk through her bedroom door. If loving them was easy, perhaps loving Grant might not be as troublesome as she thought. The only pitfall to loving someone else was that you could not guarantee the other person could love you back.
Did it matter, though? They were married. Their lives were interwoven the moment their vows had been exchanged, even if by proxy. She knew that Grant struggled with his ideals of love and marriage, but if Malinda could get over her fear of loving another person there was hope for him too. Until she felt safe enough to reveal her love to him she would keep it under wraps. She would do the only thing she could. She would learn to love without fear, to hope for a life that brought peace to her heart, and to move forward with enough courage and strength to move mountains.
Chapter 23
After sending one of his men back to the manor with Sophia, Grant followed Malinda into the woods. “Malinda?”
He had not meant to yell at her, especially in
front of Sophia, but seeing the cart surrounded by Lair werewolves had sent him into a panic. While he had not seen the birds and bees attacking the werewolves around her, he had seen them fly away. He had also seen the large shield of light that had surrounded the cart. Though he should have been able to trust her with Sophia’s protection he had been transported back to another place in time, to when Maria had been attacked by Seamus Finnigan, and he had been unable to save her. A rush of emotions had raged through his body, pumped through his veins like a fiery adrenaline. He lashed out at her unfairly. He had seen the display of emotions run across her face, the sadness mixed with confusion, and then an anger mixed with despair before her lasting image, a stricken face that had jolted him to the core. He had not meant to hurt her, only to get her to understand the dangers that surrounded them. His best intentions had sent her careening into the forest, where the Lair had retreated to only moments before.
Grant led his horse behind him as he tracked the crumbled leaves and broken twigs that her feet had stumbled over, his heart racing as the light of day started to evaporate from the sky. When he found Malinda she was curled up on the ground between a small grove of trees. He quickly tethered the black horse to the nearest tree before moving to retrieve her from where she lay. His fear stuck in his throat like a spoonful of hardened oats that scratched his throat painfully as he tried to swallow it down. His feet traveled much too slowly for his racing mind, and when he finally reached her body a lifetime had already seemed to pass. Grant put his hand at her temple, and his eyes took in the rise and fall of her chest. He ran his hands over her body, checking for any outward sign of damage. When he picked her up she never stirred. Her body curved naturally into his as he walked across the forest floor to where his horse stood nickering lightly to him. She was lighter than he had remembered as he placed her across the saddle so that he could climb atop the horse. Once his legs safely straddled the horse he pulled her body back into his arms.
The top of her head just met his chin and her scent tickled his lungs. Honeysuckle, sweet delicious nectar filled honeysuckle, teased his senses. Why had he never noticed her scent before? That scent lingered somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind. When the smell should have made him feel peaceful it disturbed him, disrupted the stillness of the moment. His mind reeled, almost out of control, before it lit upon the answer: Maria. Malinda smelled just like his dead wife and the realization kept him frozen in place. The horse shifted beneath him, almost as if to ask why they stood still, but Grant could not move forward. Her long, dark hair, her smile, and her smell were so reminiscent of the one person who had damaged him so irreparably; the one person who had taken him into her web of deception, who had shattered the stillness within him, manipulating his every thought until he had devoted every inch of his life to her. He had been a puppet in her hands and she had pulled his strings so tightly that he had forgotten everything he was. Even now his heart ached at the memory of her, the chance of a life that had never truly been his destiny.
Maria had never wanted children, never wanted to share his devotion to anything around her. She had loved him, he knew she had, but she had loved herself more. When Maria had become pregnant the first time she had done everything in her power to end the life within her, and she had been successful. She had managed to succeed in ending the life of three children before Grant had finally caught on. His affection had faltered and she had campaigned to win his love back. Grant had been a fool. He succumbed to her charms, much to the chagrin of his ailing father who had wanted nothing more than to send Maria to a nunnery. When his father passed Maria drove him deeper into her web and he had given her another chance. This time when he had found out she was with child he had watched her like a hawk. She had never been left unattended and that was partly why she had become so unhappy toward the end of her confinement. When she had given birth to the healthy little girl she had pushed her aside and demanded that he hire a wet nurse. It had broken him in two to see a woman brutally push away the life she had carried for so long. He had complied, for he feared that she might hurt her child. And the rest…well, the rest was history.
He shook his head in consternation. He wanted nothing more than to push Malinda further away from him, but he felt such a magnetic pull in her direction. While it was not the same pull he had felt with Maria, it frightened him even more. Her smell, her taste, her touch, all of these were echoes of a woman who haunted his past. He knew that she was not Maria, but the walls he had built to protect himself from ever being taken in again were so wide and high that climbing them would be impossible. He would never again lose himself the way he had; however, when Malinda murmured against him and snuggled closer a peace he had never felt before comforted his soul. He fought against the conclusion. It was too late. He loved her. He loved every smile, laugh, and tear. He loved the way she nurtured his child like her own and treated the world around her with a true respect that reflected an honesty, a trusting characteristic that many lacked. While he knew his feelings ran deeper than he liked to admit, he promised himself that he would never utter them aloud for fear that they may be used as a weapon against him. He nudged the side of the horse with his boots and started his way slowly through the forest back to Wickford Manor, cursing his weak heart that had taken over his life once again.
Chapter 24
Malinda awoke to find herself in the middle of their bed with Grant’s hands tenderly undressing her. She raised her hand to his face, sweeping it gently across the beard that had tickled her senses many nights before. He caught her hand in his and brought his lips to her palm. A sweet thrill of anticipation ran through her body as it often did when he touched and tasted the most sensitive parts of her skin. Malinda closed her eyes to let the moment linger in her mind like a litany, its powerful chant working its way through her body. She opened her eyes when his kisses stopped and found his golden eyes perusing her every move. Before they continued she had to tell him how sorry she was for putting Sophia in danger. “Grant. I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”
“Everything is fine, Malinda. I shouldn’t have laid into you like that. You had the situation under control. I realize that now. I know you would never let anything happen to Sophia.”
“I just wanted to get to know the people, Grant, to let them into my life the way that you have. I thought Sophia should have that chance too.”
Grant brought his hand to her face and gathered her close to him. “The people love you, Malinda.”
Malinda could not help but wish that Grant loved her too. She would fight for his love with her last breath if that was what it took. She would not run away from it, would not turn against it. She would accept it with open arms from the very moment he professed it and forever after. Until then Malinda would take whatever he offered and hold it close to her heart. When his lips brushed against hers she arched her back into it. He moved away far too soon for her liking and her lips pouted in response. He helped her into a sitting position and slid around to her back. “What are you doing, Grant?”
He never answered her. Instead he started to undo the laces at the back of her dress, then the laces that held her shift. Both fell down to her hips. He ran his hands along the base of her neck, down to the bottom of her spine, small gentle movements that tickled her senses. He moved away from her and stood before her. His hands then roamed from the top of her head, down to the bottom of her stomach, and her breath caught in her mouth. “Grant? What are you doing?”
He still did not answer her. Instead, he pulled her up from the bed and pushed the dress down her body. His hands then slid from the top of her toes up to her hips as she stood before him. “I just had to be sure.”
“Of?”
“You were unconscious when I found you, Malinda. You ran right into the very woods that the werewolves had entered moments before. I needed to make sure you were unharmed.”
“Oh.” Malinda turned away from him, walked over to the dressing room, and located a nightgown to wear to bed. She ha
d thought he was about to make love to her, but he had only needed to make sure her body was not tainted by the werewolf’s bite. Reality had infused itself into the moment and, while Malinda knew she loved Grant, she would keep her feelings under wraps. She could not erase his past, she could only live in the present and help to write the future. She needed time to figure out how to successfully win his heart. She started to pull the nightgown over her head, but it was yanked out of her hands and tossed on the floor.
“What are you doing?”
Malinda looked up and saw that Grant had undressed down to his waist. Her eyes lingered on his well-sculpted abdomen, the well-defined pectoral muscles, and the tight shoulders that were strong enough to carry the largest of burdens. She turned away from him and bent down to pick up the nightgown. “I’m going to bed, Grant. Good night.”
“It’s not yet, but it could be.” He grabbed her from behind and pulled her tight against his erection that was bound tightly in his breeches. One hand crept down her pelvis to the nest of dark curls that hid away her most intimate areas. The other crawled up her stomach slowly, and she felt a trail of fire follow in its wake. His touch burned her like no other, and she leaned back into him. When his fingers glided further down he created a sweet rhythm that made her body dance against him. Her whole world started to spin out of control and she mentally cursed him for how easy it was to manipulate her. When he stopped and moved his hand away from her she desperately missed his touch. Malinda turned to face him, but he held her tight against his body. His hands captured her breasts within them and his mouth began to move down her neck, alternating between hot kisses that made her tremble and tiny nibbles that sent jolts of electricity through her. All the while, his hands massaged her breasts and, every few seconds, his fingers would tweak the tight buds of her nipples. Her moans became louder as the momentum picked her up and tossed her like debris into fierce gale winds.