Under his hand, she trembled slightly, but her voice was steady.
The chief asked what Cord would consider the normal questions in this type of situation. Where she was, what she had been doing, if she had left any appliances on or smelled smoke any time before she left, and on and on. Rosie answered in a soft voice, but her words were firm.
Maybe this happened with every fire. Probably they always had to check with the homeowner. He supposed people really did set fires just to get insurance money. As the chief continued to ask his questions, it was obvious that Rosie didn’t have any insurance.
When the chief asked that question, and Rosie answered no, Cord’s eyes went to his mother, his brows slightly lifted in question. If anyone knew whether the Council had insurance on the library, his mother would know.
His mother’s eyes were sad as she gave a small shake of her head. Cord’s stomach dropped and felt like it landed with a splat on the cement sidewalk. Rosie truly had lost everything, and she wouldn’t be getting any of it back.
The chief was finally done with his questions, and he thanked them, giving Rosie an awkward pat on her back, before walking away.
With a little pressure, Rosie moved back toward Cord, laying her head on his chest.
“I’ll have Lark and Charlie bring over some clothes for her in the morning.” His mother gave Rosie another sympathetic look.
Rosie nodded.
Cord said, “I appreciate it.”
His mother gave him a thoughtful look. “I’m not going to get into your business, but you probably ought to make sure Rosalin knows that you’ve got Rosie staying with you.” A brow raised, wrinkling her forehead. “I know you don’t think anything of it, but other people might.”
That was all the warning she issued before she bent over and whispered something in Rosie’s ear that he couldn’t hear. Rosie’s head nodded up and down. His mother gave her back one last pat and strode off.
Rosie’s hands tightened around him, and they stood there for a while. Him looking at the smoldering ruins and watching the firefighters walking back and forth, hosing water on the last of the glowing flames, and her keeping her face buried in his coat.
He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, off to the side, in the cold and dark, before she lifted her head. “Part of me wants to go over and dig through the ashes, looking for anything that might have made it through the fire.”
The wind gusted, blowing her hair across her face, but he still saw her throat work as she swallowed. “But most of me just wants to go somewhere and pretend it never happened. Is that too juvenile?”
His lips tilted up a little. Her lack of ambition, the dearth of desire to do anything other than be in her hometown, happy in her library, had been a sore point with her parents for years. Juvenile was a word he’d heard them use more than once. It was something she was a little sensitive about.
“I think however you want to deal with this, that’s what you should do. And if that means you come to my house and pretend it never happened, that works for me.”
Her face was pinched and tight, her eyes painful, but the corners crinkled and her lips tilted up. He’d just told her he was on her side, and the expression on her face said she knew it and appreciated it.
Her lips pursed. “I just want you to know that I see what you’ve let go tonight, and I appreciate you.”
That was so like Rosie. She hadn’t forgotten that he had every reason to be angry at her. And this was her way of saying she appreciated him letting it go.
“Come on,” he said, putting his arm around her and turning. “You can leave your car here, and I’ll drive you home.” Maybe home was the wrong word. It wasn’t her home they were going to. But she didn’t seem to get offended at his use of that word.
“Let me get my coat out of it. Since it’s pretty much all I own, apparently.”
“It won’t be that way for long if I know my sisters. You’ll have more clothes than you know what to do with by dinnertime tomorrow.” He gave a little grin, since she seemed like she wasn’t quite as upset as she had been and he felt like he could tease her. “You know how girls are.”
“Women,” she said. “We’re women.” And yeah, her lips tilted up, and he considered it a full-on smile.
“You’re tough, kid.”
“That’s because I was trained by the best.” Her shoulder lifted. “There’s nothing I’m going to do about it. Might as well laugh, right?”
“I’m not sure that’s what the rest of the world thinks.” He squeezed her shoulder, guiding her to the passenger side of his pickup. “But I think it’s a great attitude. And don’t get a big head, but I admire it.”
He opened the door, and she started to climb in, pausing to look at him. “You do know that when we get to your house, I’m going to lock myself in the spare bedroom and cry for three solid days, correct?”
“Don’t lock the door. Otherwise, I’ll have to beat it down so I can bring water to you.” He waved his arm at the smoldering ruins, hating to remind her of it but happy she was laughing. “You can make headlines with this, and that’s fine. But I don’t want to make headlines because your dead body was found in my spare room.” He set his jaw, not really joking. “You will be drinking at least.”
“Oblivion sounds great. I hope your liquor cabinet is fully stocked.”
He snorted. He didn’t have a liquor cabinet. And Rosie knew it. “No liquor,” he said. “But I have an endless supply of water. I’ll even go to the store and get milk for you. And if you’re nice to me, I might make you some tea.”
“Really?” she said with a lifted brow. “Tea? I thought real men didn’t drink tea.”
“That’s how much I’m willing to give for you.” He smiled his best friends smile, devious and conspiratorial.
“Wow, you must really like me,” she said. “Or you want first dibs on rooting through my ruins.”
“Nah. I’m not much of a rooter, but if you’re feeling up to it, I’ll come in with you tomorrow and we can go through it together.” He was serious. Rosie would know it. They’d been friends long enough that he could switch from teasing to serious and she would follow the mood swings. They’d never had a problem reading each other.
“I’ll take you up on that. But I get three days to mourn and be depressed.”
“Is that three days before we root or three days after we root?”
She waved her hand in the air. “Details,” she said with an airy affectation. The pinched look on her face hadn’t disappeared, but her smile had gotten easier, as she sat in the seat of his truck and he held onto the door. He hadn’t been able to leave her to close it and walk around, happy that she was talking and seemed like she was going to be okay. Like if he closed the door and walked away even for a few seconds, she might be back to holding onto him and burying her head in his chest.
Not that he minded that. She could hold onto him anytime. But he didn’t like seeing her unhappy. Although what other way was there to be when her home had just burned to the ground?
“Well, you’d better get it figured out, because I’m a busy man.”
They grinned at each other. Her parents hadn’t actually been impressed with his drive and determination either. Owning a small ranch, training his horses, building sleds. It hadn’t taken a college degree, which was her parents’ standard of success. Rosalin had been the only one who attained that goal. Both he and Rosie were happy at home.
Their shared smile said they knew it.
He tapped her shoulder before closing her door and hurrying around the front of the pickup. Still somehow afraid that when he got back in, she’d be morose and depressed again. That was an unfounded worry. Mostly.
She sat in the seat, staring out the window at the smoldering ruins.
He needed to be serious. Plus, he really was concerned for her. He’d be devastated if his house burned down and even worse if his barn had gone too. She just lost everything.
“Hey,” he said, touchi
ng her arm softly. “I know I’ve been joking a little, just because it’s hard to not see you smiling. And I know there’s nothing I can do. But... Are you really okay? I mean I know you just lost your home and everything you had, and I’m not expecting you to be happy about that. But... I mean, I guess what I’m trying to say...” His voice trailed off, and he ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”
She reached out and took his hand. Their fingers somehow threaded together, an occurrence that was unusual but not unpleasant. Her eyes seemed to catch on their fingers, and she seemed as surprised as him at the position of their hands.
Maybe if he didn’t know her so well, he wouldn’t have noticed the setting of her jaw and the squaring of her chin before she lifted her head and looked him in the eye.
“It’s just stuff.” Her voice was soft but firm, and her eyes didn’t waver. “Isn’t there a verse about that? I got here without anything, and I’m gonna leave the same way. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Isn’t that the most important thing?”
He nodded slowly, knowing she was right, knowing it was the best attitude, but still surprised.
She took a deep breath, and her eyes moved away. “The library wasn’t that big, and if there had been a fire while it was open, probably everyone would’ve gotten out. But maybe they wouldn’t have. So that’s what I’m thankful for. That, if it had to happen, it happened at night when no one was there and no one got hurt.”
Her fingers squeezed his.
“All of that stuff can be replaced. But people can’t.” Her eyes lifted back up to his. “And there are other things that are irreplaceable. Like the relationship I have with my best friend. I was playing fast and loose with that, and I’m sorry. It didn’t take me two seconds to see my burned-down house before I knew that losing my house was okay. But losing you wouldn’t be.” Her lip twisted back.
Her words had made things settle and shift in his chest, maybe not in an uncomfortable way exactly, but in a way that changed things. She was telling him that losing her house wasn’t the catastrophe that losing her friend would be, and she was talking about him.
“I appreciate you setting aside your feelings for me tonight. And that, along with the fire, really helped put things in perspective for me.” She picked at her pants with her fingernail. “And by that I mean how really awful it was for me to have done what I did. How irresponsible it was for me to take a chance on losing what we have—a great friendship.” She pulled her lips and looked up at him. Even with the dim lighting, he could see there were tears in her eyes, which was really saying something. Because in all the years that he had known her, he’d only seen her cry a handful of times. Honestly he couldn’t remember the last time she cried.
She wasn’t exactly crying now, because the tears in her eyes hadn’t spilled onto her cheeks yet.
Maybe it would be a good thing for her to cry over her house, over the lost library, over everything that had been taken from her tonight. But he couldn’t stand to see her cry over him.
He did something he had never done before. He lifted their joined hands, brought her knuckles to his lips, and kissed them softly.
“You forget that I know how persuasive Rosalin can be. She’s not my twin, but I grew up with her too.” He agreed to get married to her, but that didn’t change the fact that it was hard to tell Rosalin no.
But he wanted to ease Rosie’s mind. “I know you didn’t do it to hurt me. I know you love your sister, and you’ll do anything she asks you to do. And I believe that you never gave a thought about what it might do to me.” He blew a breath out. “Seeing you lose everything, and seeing you sit here and tell me about the things that really matter, helps me to know that for sure.” He laughed a little. “And all of that also helped me to realize that I don’t want to lose your friendship either. I’m not gonna let unforgiveness stay between us. And I’m not gonna hold a grudge. You’re allowed to make mistakes.” He tilted his head a little. “Just remember that I make mistakes too.”
Her lips trembled as they tilted up, and her fingers stroked their joined hands. “Thank you.”
He wasn’t sure what to do with the writhing emotions inside his chest. He wasn’t sure what they meant. But he did know he didn’t want to let go of her hand. So he stuck his left hand through the steering wheel and turned the key, starting his pickup. He grabbed the gearshift with the same hand and eased the clutch out. If Rosie noticed that he didn’t seem to want to let go of her, she didn’t say anything. Of course, she had to notice. He wanted her to, really. Whatever he felt for her, friend thing or whatever it was, had shifted and changed in incremental amounts over the past few weeks. Tonight, there had been a seismic shift. And a settling that he wasn’t sure what to do with.
He didn’t really want to examine his feelings; he just wanted to go with it. But it wouldn’t be that easy. He was going to have to do some hard things, make some hard choices, but not today. Though he wasn’t fooling himself to think that he could get out of the decisions indefinitely.
Therefore, he needed to make a decision. He knew exactly what he wanted. Or, really, who he wanted. But he needed to talk to Rosalin first. No matter what she’d done, it wasn’t right for him to proceed in the direction that he wanted to go without discussing it with her and breaking things off with her. The right way.
It would add a lot of time to his trip, but he would drive to Chicago before heading to Michigan to deliver his sleds.
Chapter 11
ROSIE WATCHED AS THE looming shadow of Cord’s barn became larger and larger in the windshield. Her chest felt hollow. Like a tree that had been gutted by birds and wild animals. But in there somewhere, her heart still beat. She knew it because Cord might be holding her hand, but he had touched her heart tonight.
While the way she’d acted had been inexcusable.
Funny, that on the trip out to his place, she’d been more upset about the way she’d treated him than she was about her house, such as it was, burning down. Or about losing the library.
She’d meant every word she’d said to him. And more. More that she couldn’t say. Words and thoughts and feelings that balled up in her mind and in her heart but couldn’t be allowed past the gateway of her mouth.
She had no idea what she was going to do. Cord would probably check on his horses. And she was tired. She’d think about her problems in the morning. That included what in the world she was going to do with her life now. Since the Council could barely be convinced to pay the small stipend that they’d agreed to pay the librarian, they certainly weren’t going to be convinced to shell out the money to rebuild the library.
“I’m gonna check on Sadie and Bill. You coming with me?” Cord shut the pickup off and turned toward her. Maybe he’d forgotten about their joined hands lying on the seat between them, but she sure hadn’t.
That was another thing she didn’t know what to do about. Probably the best thing she could do would be to pack up and move away.
She’d think about it in the morning.
“Sure,” she answered him, but she didn’t want to be the one to pull her hand away.
Maybe Cord didn’t either because he sat still as well. His thoughtful gaze rested on her for a moment before it dropped to their linked hands. She followed his gaze down.
They were best friends. He’d held his hand out to help her many times. Pull her up to the hayloft, help her up on the tractor, go upstairs, or climb bleachers even. But this, their hands linked, lying on the seat between them, was different. They both knew it.
But apparently, he didn’t know what to do about it any more than she did, since he didn’t move and didn’t say anything. Maybe he was just as afraid as she was of ruining their friendship.
“It’s been a pretty wild evening,” he said. Although the silence around them had been deep, his voice wasn’t nearly as loud or confident as it normally was. “I’d like to talk to you.” His hand squeezed hers. “About this. About some other things. About w
hat you’re going to do. But you’re tired, and so am I. Let’s sleep on everything that’s happened, before we talk about any of that.”
“That’s fine,” Rosie said softly. Her chest didn’t feel so empty when she thought that maybe Cord was in this with her.
“I have to leave the day after tomorrow.” He looked at his phone. “It is tomorrow.” He smiled a little. “I have to leave tomorrow to deliver the sleds to Michigan. I’m going to stop in and see Rosalin on my way.”
Rosie nodded but didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything for her to say. They hadn’t talked about Rosalin and Cord. It was totally up to him as to what he was going to say to Rosalin. Unless he included Rosie, which he hadn’t.
“Will you stay here, take care of Bill and Sadie, and see what you can do about Joseph too, while I’m gone?”
She was nodding before he was finished. It wasn’t a hard decision to make. It wasn’t like she had anywhere else to go.
“Thanks for not pushing me.” She lifted her brows. “Thanks for not punishing me.”
“You’re welcome. For the second time. That’s what friends do.” He moved, and their joined hands separated. She knew it would have to come to an end eventually, but she was sad to see it go.
“Come on,” he said. “It’s always relaxing to work with the horses. Bill and Sadie can’t fix our problems, but they can ease our hearts.”
From experience, Rosie knew he was right about that. She opened her door and jumped out of his pickup, leaving her purse on the seat. It was weird to think that that was all she had in the world. She couldn’t start thinking about it now. She was tired, and the only thing she’d end up doing would be to cry.
Slamming the door, she shoved her hands in her pockets and walked around the truck, meeting Cord and following him into the barn.
The soothing smell of fresh hay and the slightly stronger scent of horse greeted her. Comforting and beloved, the scent reminded her of all the hours Cord and she had spent working with his horses. The fun and fellowship they had together. Despite the uncertainty of her future, the memories made her smile.
The Cowboy's Marriage Mistake Page 9