“I see it now,” Johnny said. “The rabid badger. It’s terrifying.” His lips twitched.
The woman at the front of Johnny’s line turned to frown at Hannah.
Hannah bowed slightly. “I’m here to enlighten.”
She returned to her seat, handing Sarahi her water.
At the third quarter buzzer, Johnny joined them on their bleacher bench. The crowd parted when he made his way from the floor up to the third row. Sarahi slid closer to Hannah to make room for her cousin.
Hannah sent him a cross between a smile and a grimace. It was weird. They were more than strangers, but not friends. And he was obviously close to his family, and one of the members of that family just happened to be sitting right beside her.
All the details collided in her head and tried to sort themselves into a linear order of sense.
They failed.
Or she failed.
He didn’t say anything and so she proceeded to ignore his presence. After a few minutes she had blocked him out entirely. Maybe that was a gift she had. Maybe it was borderline cognitive dissonance. Maybe she just wanted to go back to sitting alone in the corner and not caring about anyone else around her.
In the fourth quarter, Sarahi stood, excusing herself to the restroom. There was seven minutes left of the game.
Johnny stood to let her out. Hannah couldn’t help but notice that he took Sarahi’s hand and helped her navigate the steps down from the bleachers.
No wonder the women flocked to him.
He was attractive, polite, single, and attentive.
That was an enormously rare combination.
When he returned to his seat, he sat right beside Hannah instead of leaving space between them.
“Which one is Piper?” he asked.
“Number 3,” Hannah replied without thought. She stood when Piper drove down the lane to the basket. “Yeah! That’s my girl!” she shouted loudly. She put her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly.
Hannah sat back down, clapping. Piper shook her head like she was embarrassed by her sister’s antics.
“She’s lucky to have you.”
Hannah frowned in surprise at Johnny. She even did a double take.
“What?” he asked.
“She’s lucky to have me?” Hannah repeated, arching an eyebrow. His eyes tracked its movement and he shrugged.
“You’re right. I misspoke.”
“Yeah, you did,” she readily agreed. “You know better than most that she lost the sibling lottery with me.”
He inhaled and narrowed his eyes at the action on the gym floor.
“All I can do is all I can do,” she muttered to herself.
Piper sat down on the bench and waved subtly at Hannah.
“Aren’t you supposed to be working right now?” Hannah asked, noticing that the shutters of the concession were closed.
“We ran out of everything,” Johnny explained. “That happens sometimes. So I just come out and visit with Sara.”
She noticed he called her Sara and not Sarahi and it made her smile. Just a soft renaming of someone in his family.
She’d never had that.
She had that with Piper when she called her Pip or Pipsqueak. But she’d never had anyone give her a nickname. Well, not a nice one anyway. Plenty of people had called her lots of mean names.
“Where’s Shawn?” she asked.
Johnny rubbed his palms on the tops of his thighs as he craned his neck, looking around the gymnasium. “He should be around here somewhere. He wanted to wash the popcorn smell off his hands before he came over to see you. Still trying to impress you, I think.”
Hannah waved at her face. “Yeah, ’cause that makes sense.”
Johnny rubbed his jaw with a hand, trying to hide a smile.
“I have to admit, I’m a little surprised to see you like this.”
“Really?” She tilted her head. “Why’s that?”
He slowly shook his head and shrugged one shoulder as he observed her painted face. “It’s…” He made a noise in his throat and didn’t finish the sentence.
“It’s gross?” she guessed.
“Yeah?” He nodded. “But it’s also not…you know. It’s not cool?”
“Mm-hmm.” She pursed her lips and tapped her chin with her forefinger. “Or is it so cool that it’s intimidating?”
He frowned thoughtfully. “No, I don’t think that’s it.”
She ran her tongue over her teeth and pretended to act worried about his observation. He cracked a smile.
“I’ll tell you a secret. Ugly is a different form of invisible. People’s eyes look away from things that make them uncomfortable. It keeps them from looking too hard.” She shrugged. “And I get away with it for one more day.”
“Hmm,” he grunted thoughtfully.
The constant tension that Hannah carried in her belly every day eased.
Something about being able to be honest and open with someone who knew who she was. It was weird and wonderful.
She absolutely couldn’t get attached to it.
They were only colleagues (and him under duress). In a few weeks, they would have drifted back into their regular life. No more crossing paths.
But she was okay with her stress being lifted for a minute. Temporary or not, any little bit helped.
The bench cleared and was replaced again. Sending Piper back out on the court.
Hannah stood, cheering loudly.
The game ended and the Wolverines won by two. The winning basket coming from Ana, Johnny’s little cousin. But it was with an assist from Piper.
The two girls hugged and jumped on the court as their teammates swarmed them. Hannah wolf-whistled, so proud of the little athlete Piper was becoming.
Who would have thought?
Not Hannah.
Athletics had never been something she was into.
The closest she got to sports was running away from her problems. Hey-Oh! That was a joke.
She bounded down the bleachers and wrapped Piper in a hug from behind.
“That was amazing!”
“Did you see me do the thing with the thing?”
“I saw it!” Hannah confirmed, weirdly knowing exactly what Piper meant. So very proud of this little tiger. She’d come so far in a such a short amount of time.
Sarahi reappeared and was giving her own congratulations to her daughter, Ana. Abruptly she turned and grabbed Johnny by the arm.
“Jonathan,” she said sternly. “We are having a lunch at Mama’s. Will you come?”
Johnny’s gaze bounced to Hannah’s and she looked away so as not to eavesdrop. Their family dynamic was fascinating to her, but it wasn’t her business.
“C’mon, kiddo, let’s celebrate.”
Piper shoved away from her. “Not until you wash that atrocity off your face.”
JOHNNY
“How’s the studio?” Dr. Ignacio asked, passing Johnny a basket of bread.
“It’s going well,” Johnny answered honestly. “We have an important client lined up for next week.”
“How about you?” Mia asked, nudging Shawn with an elbow. They were the cousins closest in age. Mia was Sarahi’s youngest sister and only a year older than Shawn. “Have you picked a college yet?”
Shawn darted a look to Johnny before answering. “I haven’t.”
“Come to Northwestern with me!” she said excitedly. “You’ll love it! It has all the things you love there.”
“Maybe,” Shawn said noncommittedly.
What he didn’t say was what Johnny already knew.
Shawn was putting off accepting any offers. He wouldn’t admit why, but Johnny guessed it was because he was hoping he’d make it big in music sooner rather than later. Which would make college a nonissue.
Johnny was trying not to push it. He was hoping Shawn would make the right decision on his own.
Even if that didn’t match what everyone else thought was the “right” decision.
“
Don’t do what your brother did. He put all his eggs in one basket,” his aunt Carmen warned from the end of the table.
“We don’t actually have to go over this again,” Johnny reminded her with a pointed look.
“And what happened?” she went on like he hadn’t said anything. “He had nothing to fall back on when his dreams didn’t come true.”
“It all worked out, Tia,” he said soberly. “I have my own home, my own business. I’m happy.”
“No wife, no babies, and don’t lie to me about being happy. I know you better than that.”
Johnny grit his teeth together and stared down at his plate. This was why his visits with the family were few and far between.
Being lectured was his least favorite part of being the oldest male child.
Especially since he wasn’t a child in the least. He was thirty-six and still getting scolded like he was eight.
Not that it was really anyone’s fault.
They only knew the story he had told them.
Which was mostly the truth.
With a few key details left out.
Like how he’d fallen in love dick-first.
He had failed to mention that.
There was no way of knowing if things would have gone any different had he never fallen for Ashton James. No one had ever mentioned to him anything about going on tour. That had solely come from her. And that was just pillow talk. He could see that now, obviously. Now that he was an adult and had a few more years of experience with life.
Rational people didn’t open themselves to empty promises made with wine-stained kisses.
After dinner was finished and the dishes were done.
After cold beers had been passed around and imbibed.
Aunt Carmen cornered him in the sunroom.
Ambush.
Johnny should have seen it coming.
Carmen had always been a stealthy hunter. She was patient and gentle. And just when her prey thought they were in the clear, she pounced. Like a jungle cat.
“It’s been sixty-three days since I have seen you, mijo.”
“It’s weird that you count.”
“I made promises.”
That was true. And he really couldn’t fault her for that. It was the only connection she had left to someone they had both lost for all the wrong reasons.
He finished his beer and set it aside. One of the middle children ran by and picked it up. Adding it to their take, no doubt.
The kids spent the day playing and secretly gathering all the empty bottles and cans to take to the recycler the next day. On a good weekend they could make enough money to buy movie passes for most of them.
“Have you heard from her?” he asked, the words sticking in his throat.
Instead of answering, Carmen ran her fingers through his hair, tugging at the longer strands and tsking under her breath. “Such long hair.”
He stared into her dark eyes, so much like his mom’s. Her fingers touched his chin softly and their eyes met. Hers turned sad.
No, then.
Johnny looked away, the old sting of loss and grief hitting him in the chest.
It had been two years since he’d last spoken to his mother.
It had been fifteen years since he’d last seen her.
He wished she knew about what was happening in their lives. He wished he could call her and tell her about Shawn and the list of colleges he could choose from. He wanted to brag that even though she’d abandoned them, they were okay.
Maybe they were better for it.
“I wish she would’ve stayed,” he said, voice rough with emotion.
“So do I. But at least she got you boys out of that life first. She had enough clarity for that.”
Maybe it should’ve made him feel better.
But it didn’t.
It hadn’t helped fifteen years ago, and it didn’t help now.
It still felt like loss.
How was he supposed to qualify it?
Shawn didn’t even have any memories of her anymore. She’d faded from his mind and Johnny had allowed it.
He didn’t want to make him remember the shell of the woman who had given birth to him. That wasn’t the mom Johnny knew.
Johnny’s mom had been alive and vivacious. She’d been bright and warm and loving.
So he held those memories to himself. Always hoping maybe…
Maybe that person would come back. Even though he knew she wouldn’t.
That person was gone.
“It might be time to let her go,” Carmen said.
“How?” Johnny asked, because he really couldn’t figure it out.
“I don’t know,” Carmen confessed, wiping at tears on her cheeks.
Johnny put an arm around his aunt, his mother’s only sister, and they cried quietly together.
The only two people who really knew what the world had lost.
Chapter Eight
I’m a Slave 4 U
JOHNNY
It was only the first day and Johnny was already in trouble.
“What if we add a little of this? You know? Like a little Bowie vibe happening?”
Sunshine barked a laugh when Hannah slightly wiggled while playing a riff on the piano.
This was bad.
He knew it was going to be bad, but he had no idea how bad it would get so quickly.
She’d been on time. A fact that Johnny was unhappy he’d noticed.
And not just on time but prepared.
And on a morning when they’d woken up to freezing rain. It would have been the most excusable reason to be late or not show up at all.
But there she was.
In baggy jeans and an oversized sweater.
Her hair was braided on both sides and she was wearing those ridiculously oversized black-framed glasses.
And she’d brought coffee for everyone.
“I like her,” Nikki said dreamily at his shoulder.
He grimaced her direction.
“She’s cool.”
“She’s not a nice person,” Johnny muttered, more to remind himself than anything else.
“I didn’t say she was nice.” Nikki bounced on her toes, sucking on the straw of her frozen coffee. “I said she was cool and I like her.” She looked up at Johnny with mischievous eyes. “Can we keep her, dad?”
“You’re a pain in my ass,” he growled in reply.
Nikki snickered and bounced toward the door without an argument.
He ground his teeth together and flipped the intercom switch. “That sounds really good. Let’s try it.”
Hannah glanced up, her blue eyes startled.
And wild.
This was exactly why he didn’t want her in his studio.
She was like a drug.
Intoxicating, fun, addictive. And she’d drag everyone down with her if he wasn’t careful.
HANNAH
Well, fuck.
She had forgotten Johnny was there.
This was the problem.
Music made her drunk.
Not literally…but it was close enough.
It had gone straight to her head.
She was giggly, buzzed, hyper, happy, fucking enamored.
But there was Johnny. The cold bucket of water to her overactive endorphins.
Good thing she’d brought her knitting along.
Yes, she was now someone who carried knitting in her purse. She’d always thought she’d be a lot older and have grandkids before something like that happened. But that was probably just a stereotype taught to her by the entertainment industry.
When she’d been in Mad About Ewe with Josh last week, no one in there appeared old enough to have grandkids.
Perhaps knitting was what the cool kids had been doing all along.
Right now, she needed to focus.
As much fun as she was having with Sunshine, she couldn’t let it get out from under her. Promises would be kept this time.
Johnny wouldn’t miss his shot beca
use of her.
One of the fun and exciting parts about working with Sunshine was his immense talent. His voice alone belonged on Broadway.
His mind for rhyme was like nothing she’d experienced. It was as if his mind moved faster than others.
“How do you do it?” she asked, scribbling down the last few lines he’d spit at her.
“Do what?” he asked, tugging on his thin beard.
“Think that fast. Writing takes me a lot longer.”
He laughed deeply. “The blessings of ADHD.”
“No shit?”
“The way it was explained to me is this.” He sat down at the drum kit on the other side of the live room, picked up the sticks, and tapped on the snare. “Your brain can process information one thing at a time, filter it into a list of priorities, and you deal with each thought in order.” He rattled the high hat. “Mine doesn’t do that.” He tapped out a beat as he spoke. “Everything enters my brain at full speed and all at once. All of it comes across as a priority.”
“That sounds…” She stopped before she said something insulting.
“Frustrating?” He stopped drumming and set the sticks back down. “It really is. But I’ve been managing my symptoms for years. I can use it to my advantage now.”
She studied his face. “Is that why you have tattoos on your face?”
He barked a laugh. “No. Those are just because I’m an ugly dude and I know it.”
She raised her eyebrows and laughed despite herself. “What?”
He gave her a look. “C’mon. I am not good-looking. But I’m really fucking rich. So chicks want to fuck me all the time. There’s literally no way to know if they like me at all. I figure if I beef up my ugly factor, I can weed out the shallowest of the bunch.”
She frowned. “That’s kind of brilliant. And also incredibly sad.”
He lifted his chin at her. “But you get it. You’re the hot chick.”
She jerked her chin back, uncomfortable with the statement.
“How many times have you questioned whether someone was into you for who you are and not your body?”
She snorted. “Dude, I wonder that about myself all the time.”
Key Change: A Slow Burn Rockstar Romance (Common Threads Book 3) Page 13