He smirked but kept himself from smiling outright.
“But sometimes, when I tried really hard, I could be an asshole of the grandest kind.” She took a breath and remained thoughtful. “I think…I think Luke was just one more good guy that I tried to use to my advantage. And that song, our time together, that part of my life, it just reminds me of how much I always wanted to be better.” She shook her head sadly. “But I just couldn’t commit to doing it myself. I wanted someone else to do the hard work for me. And it was so obvious.”
She sighed heavily and looked around the lounge like she was seeing it for the first time.
“You’ve got a good thing going here, Johnny,” she said softly.
“Hey,” he got her attention. She looked at him and he smiled gently. “You do too.”
“Yeah,” she replied, and sounded like she agreed. “I do, don’t I?” She stood and stretched her arms over her head and gulped down the last of the sparkling water. “Okay. I’m done being a baby. Let’s do this.”
Together they went back to Studio Y and Johnny headed up to the control room.
“She ready?” Shawn asked, getting out of Johnny’s chair.
“I think so.” Johnny flipped switches and checked the settings again.
Hannah leaned into the mic and let out a huge belch, followed by a giggle.
Piper laughed darkly. “She’s ready.”
“Roll tape?” Johnny asked.
Hannah gave him two thumbs-up from the live room floor.
He flipped the right switches, and the track began to play.
Tell me are you beautiful on the inside,
or do you just pretend?
Do you understand the ending,
or is it all cloudy again?
Does it make you happy
when I don't talk to you?
There is no ever-after,
and you don't have a clue.
What's the point in all the yelling
when there is no one to blame?
My silent lips are shouting,
your eyes spell out my name.
And we're both standing tall,
there's questions in my eyes.
You shudder at the thought
that I could read your mind.
And we’re both only somewhat alive
Alive
Alive
Alive
You don't know the reasons,
so you stall for time.
You don't want to surrender,
but we've switched sides in the fight.
And you just want to win
for the first time in your life.
I’m sick of all the yelling
and your silent tears in the night.
All you have are questions
that won't get answered again.
A race with no beginning,
an empty letter to send.
What's the point in all the yelling,
there is no one to blame.
My silent lips are shouting,
your eyes spell out my name.
And we're both standing tall,
there's questions in my eyes.
You shudder at the thought
that I could read your mind.
And we’re both only somewhat alive
Alive
Alive
Alive
Johnny remembered the song. But having her sing her parts live in front of him?
That was a whole new twist to his gut.
How did a woman like this, with so much raw talent and power, end up in his tiny nowhere studio?
She brought so much energy to the song, so much emotion and pain…
He was such an idiot for thinking she could be in his life in any kind of a small way.
HANNAH
She watched Johnny prep and prepare her recording to send to Luke.
It had been so long since she’d recorded something of hers, she was still sort of out of her head.
“That was incredible,” Shawn said for the third time.
She cracked a half smile and studied her nails.
“We need to work on your stuff next.”
The control room grew so quiet she glanced up, expecting to be alone.
“What?” she asked.
“Whose stuff?” Johnny asked for clarification.
“Shawn’s.” Hannah snorted. “Duh.”
“I have to lay down,” Shawn declared, and proceeded to sprawl onto the couch, putting his feet on Piper’s lap.
“Dude, no.” Piper shoved his feet off her lap and onto the floor in disgust.
Johnny rubbed a hand along his jaw, fighting a smile.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his eyebrows lifted and his expression soft.
She loved to look at him.
The way he spoke, especially when he was being tender because of Shawn. Or when he’d give her an extra moment to adjust to something. His face and voice and eyes were comforting and safe and exciting all at once.
Was she sure she wanted to spend more time with this little family she had stumbled into? Was she sure she wanted to make music just a little bit longer?
Was she sure she wasn’t risking too much?
“I’m sure,” she said.
“Then let’s make a plan,” Johnny said, gentle challenge in his gaze.
All she could do was grin.
But her heart was dancing.
Chapter Fourteen
Just Luv Me
HANNAH
The snow had started to fall that morning.
Big, fluffy, white snowflakes that floated slowly to the ground and collected in slushy piles.
By afternoon, the city had mostly shut down. School was canceled the next day.
Hannah lit candles and decided to watch movies with Piper. They didn’t have much of a wintertime tradition except for one. If school was called off for weather, they marathoned The Office.
Her phone rang and she paused the show with one hand while holding up her phone with the other.
Her heart thumped once seeing Johnny’s name.
This was becoming a pattern.
She hit the speaker button. “Hey, you’re on with Hannah and Piper.”
Johnny chuckled on the other end and she smiled at the sound. He did that more often and she had noticed.
“I’m here with Shawn. I was wondering if we could come up.”
“Wait, you’re here, here? Like, in the building?”
Johnny sighed. “Yeah, I was finishing the mix at the studio, and I was going to call you and ask if you’d come down tomorrow and listen to it. But the weatherman said I shouldn’t be asking anyone to drive around town tomorrow.”
“So you’re driving around town instead?” she asked with a snicker.
“Yes. And if Jarvis would let me, I would have already dropped this off and been home by now.”
“You’re not on the list of approved visitors, sir.”
“I do like how he calls me sir, though. I don’t usually get called that. It’s nice.”
Hannah laughed, picturing the doorman’s polite disgust at Johnny’s sour attitude.
“I’ll call down and add you to the list,” she offered.
“To the list, even? Woo, that’s some privileged access,” he teased.
“Shut up, dummy.” She hung up the phone and kept laughing as she dialed down to the desk.
“Yes, you can send him up. And the young man with him. They can come over anytime, Charles.”
She hung up the phone and shook her head.
“Anytime?” Piper repeated.
Her arched eyebrows felt like looking in a mirror.
Hannah shrugged. “Why not? Alex and Quinn checked them out. They seem safe enough.”
Piper nodded, and then said, “You should ask them to stay for dinner. It would be nice to have someone else to eat with besides you.”
Hannah’s mouth dropped open like she was offended.
“Maybe we can get them to d
o the dishes,” Piper added, tapping her chin thoughtfully with a finger.
“Hmm, devious. But I like it.” A knock sounded exactly as the timer went off. “Let them in and mind your manners,” she instructed, putting on the hot mitts.
She set the pan down on the stove top while the voices came closer.
“That smells amazing,” Shawn exclaimed.
“It’s lasagna,” Piper said proudly. “It’s an old family recipe.”
Hannah rolled her eyes and looked at Johnny.
“That’s what we say when we’ve made it up. We don’t have any old family recipes.”
“Except for the hooch in the bathtub one,” Piper spoke up.
Hannah rolled her lips inward. “Except for that one.”
Johnny rubbed his fingers over his forehead. “I’m not sure I should laugh at that.”
“Why not? It’s hilarious.” She took off the oven mitts. “You wanna stay for dinner?” she asked.
“Yes,” Shawn answered for both of them.
But Hannah was focused on Johnny.
His lips twitched and he nodded. “I’d like that.”
She smirked, liking his response more than she should. “Make yourself useful. Dishes are in the cupboard.”
He moved past her into the kitchen and her heart did that weird thump thing.
Twice in the same night. That was a new record.
What was she doing inviting Johnny for dinner?
Not just Johnny, but Shawn, who had already proven to be too innocent for his own good. That’s probably what happened when someone was raised by a legitimate superhero.
She had no business messing with what they had going for themselves. Yeah, it would probably do Piper some good to hang out with positive masculine energy, but was that enough of a reason to put two other people at risk?
Johnny’s chuckle brought her around to look at him.
He took her “I’m a fucking professional” coffee mug out of the open cupboard and held it up with a smirk.
She lifted one shoulder. “It was a gift from Piper. I have one at work too.”
“I bet that helps you make a lot of friends.”
Her smile died and she went back to what she was doing.
He put it away and got plates out, setting them on the counter.
“Where do you work?”
“Superior Electronics. I work in the call center.”
“That seems…”
“What?”
“It just seems a little beneath you, I guess.”
She barked a laugh. “As compared to what?”
He sidled up to her and crossed his arms over his chest, back to the counter. “Compared to what you’re capable of.”
Wasn’t that the truth. Of course, Johnny probably meant it in a complimentary way, not the way she was thinking.
“I am capable of a great many things,” she agreed soberly.
He inhaled to say something. Probably something nice and undeserved.
She didn’t want to hear it.
They would be wasted words.
“It’s on the table!” she hollered, taking the salad bowl and spinning around.
After dinner, Shawn provoked Piper into helping him with the dishes. It started as a weird competition of who washed more hard-to-clean pans more often. Which also included a comparison of Hannah’s and Johnny’s baking skills.
Hannah thought it sounded like she won on that.
But Piper was offended that Shawn would even suggest she didn’t have the upper body strength to get the lasagna pan truly clean.
“I think you’re just afraid I’m going to embarrass you on your home court,” he said slyly, rising from his chair and taking his dish with him.
Piper shot to her feet. “Whatever, rookie. I can scrub circles around you.”
“I feel like I should be worried about the slight sexism at play in my kitchen,” Hannah muttered to Johnny. “Except I also know Piper can hold her own.”
“It would do Shawn some good to get shown a thing or two.” He regarded her thoughtfully and took a deep breath. “What a week, am I right?”
She nodded in agreement.
They were both in the same headspace it seemed.
So much to say and yet they were having difficulty finding both the right words and the courage to say them.
She wanted to thank him for the week of being in the studio. For the chance to write and produce again without all the toxic baggage that used to come with it.
For the opportunity to show him she had other qualities besides “insufferable asshole.”
And for being someone she could exist honestly around.
But saying the words also felt like saying goodbye.
And that didn’t sit too well in her chest.
“You wanna hear this thing or what?” he asked.
“Has Sunshine heard it yet?” she asked.
“Most of it. I wanted to get your perspective on it first. Just in case you hear something I can fix in post.”
Hannah’s heart warmed with his words.
“You realize it was only a week ago that you tried to throw me out of your studio,” she said smugly.
He tried to hide his smile by twisting his lips to the side. “Biggest mistake of my life.”
Hannah sat down cross-legged on the floor and grabbed a throw pillow off the couch. She hugged it to her chest with both arms and rested her chin on the top. “That’s the biggest mistake of your life? Wooow, you’re such a good person,” she said sardonically.
He shook his head, that smile growing by the second. “Shut up.”
She chuckled darkly. Teasing Johnny was one of her most recent favorite pastimes. It was very easy, for one. For another, the tops of his ears turned bright red when he was flabbergasted.
It was adorable.
He fiddled with her CD player for a few minutes and finally got it running.
He started the first track and she closed her eyes.
Music she’d made always sounded different when listening to it postproduction. This was Sunshine’s record, but she could hear her touches in it.
Unexpected emotion crept under her eyelids and burned. She took a deep breath, breathing in the sound and the feelings it evoked.
Sunshine’s lyrics hit those carefully crafted notes just right and goose bumps broke out over her arms. She drew the throw pillow closer.
“We make a good team.” Johnny sat down across from her, also choosing the floor.
“I’ve never been on a team before,” she considered out loud.
“Well, you have one now,” Johnny said. She opened her eyes to find him gazing at her earnestly. “If you want it.”
She didn’t reply.
Mostly because the size of her heart had gotten too big for her to form words and she would have to wait for it to shrink back to its normal size.
The album was only ten tracks.
But they sounded incredible.
Johnny had included some of the studio banter between her and Sunshine.
“I can take that out if it’s too weird.”
“No,” she stopped him. “It’s perfect.”
Shawn and Piper joined them when the dishes were finished and filled all the pockets of silence with questions. Which Johnny answered patiently.
When the album was over, Hannah started it over again.
“Let me get this straight,” Shawn said. “Your sister is one of the most proficient musicians of our time and you don’t know how to play…anything?”
“I’ve wanted her to teach me guitar forever.” Piper sent a glare toward Hannah. “But she won’t.”
“Uh, I don’t have a guitar, pipsqueak.”
“Right. Like you couldn’t just order one on Amazon.” Piper crossed her arms over her chest.
“Shots fired,” Johnny murmured, and Hannah scowled at him.
“I can teach you the basics.” Shawn stood up and went to Johnny. “Can I have the keys?”
“You
gonna give her yours?”
Shawn snorted. “No. I’m gonna get the spare you drive around with. She can borrow that one, right?”
Hannah opened her mouth to protest, but Johnny was already tossing the keys to Shawn.
“Can I go with him?” Piper asked. “Charles might not let him back in without someone he recognizes.”
“Because I’m brown?” Shawn said with a knowing nod.
“What? No.” Piper shook her head, her nose scrunched.
Shawn rolled his eyes but lifted his chin at Johnny. “We’ll be right back.”
The door closed behind them, and Hannah could hear Piper chattering all the way down the hall.
“Thanks for having us over,” Johnny said. “The food was very good.”
“Surprised?” she asked.
He held her gaze for a beat and it felt like the floor dropped out from beneath her. “No. You have many undiscovered talents.”
Those were words she said about herself a few days ago.
Something about him remembering it made her stomach swirl with confusing emotions.
“I’m glad you guys stopped by,” she said, deciding to hand that disarming honesty right back to him. “It’s good for Piper to be around other people.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “My life choices have had the adverse effect of keeping her fairly isolated.”
“Can’t you just vet them through whatever agency you used for me?”
She stared at him for a minute, trying to figure out what he was referring to. “Agency?”
He shrugged like it was all the same. “You didn’t walk into the studio a week ago without having all the information you needed to get me over a barrel.”
She laughed. “Is that how you saw it?”
“Tell me I’m lying.”
“I can’t. I did my due diligence.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “But I didn’t use an agency. Too risky.”
“Oh yeah?” He reached for his beverage.
“I went the less conventional route.” She waited for him to take a sip of his drink. “I used my landlord.”
He lurched forward, trying to prevent the beverage from shooting out of his mouth. He wrestled the liquid back under control and laughed out loud at her. “You’re kidding.”
Key Change: A Slow Burn Rockstar Romance (Common Threads Book 3) Page 20