by L. R. W. Lee
As I examine everything, I envision him striding down these dusty halls, sexy as hell in his duster, tails flaring behind him; beautiful eyes dancing as he laughs at some joke Nuria tells at Aura’s expense; relaxing with a drink with the Core; yes, even discussing “business,” despite my despising it, feet propped on a coffee table in that foyer, beneath his carved face.
Somehow, it makes me feel closer to him.
My feet tire as the afternoon wears on and as the shadows draw long, I head back up to the room. I feel like I know Harpoc a little better.
A swirl of shadows beside where I sit on the balcony, looking out over the ruined city, draws my attention as I’m eating a ripe banana not long after.
My heart beats faster.
Am I ready to see him?
Chapter Forty
I’m not sure if it’s relief or disappointment I feel as Nuria steps out a second later.
I drop my feet back to the floor from where I had them propped on the rail and stand, giving her a smile.
“Glad to see your mood has improved.” She winks. “What did you do with yourself today?”
“First, thank you for the coffee and cinnamon rolls this morning. They were perfect.”
She bobs her head.
“How… how is he?” I’ve tried not to think about storming off as soon as Aimil told me he’d be fine in a couple days, while I checked out the ruin.
“Still healing. Aimil has his eyes bandaged so he can’t see anything. He’s going a little stir crazy.”
“I bet.” He’s not exactly the kind of guy to sit around and eat bon bons. “Any more developments with the chimera?”
A corner of her mouth hitches. “As a matter of fact, today Aura and I went and checked out another village up on the border that was burned to the ground.”
I sigh. “Another? No sign of the thing?”
“No.”
Memory that Harpoc sealed that thing’s secret here in Mete springs to mind, and my breathing labors. “Is it likely to find its way here where Harpoc sealed its secret?” My voice rises.
She snorts, brushing her long white hair back over her leathered shoulder. “Little nervous?”
“Yes, actually. Exactly how strong are those wards you set?”
“That reanimated chimera is governed by secret magic. My wards are secret magic. I can’t see the thing getting through them.”
“But you don’t know for certain.” I give her a long look.
She shrugs. “You can always come back with me.”
I sit, and my gaze returns to the ruin.
She takes a seat in the other chair as I ponder.
I’m getting there, but I’m not quite ready.
“I thought necromanced beings always return to the place their secret is sealed.”
“They do.” Her jaw is tight.
“Always a first….” There’s no humor in my tone.
“I suppose.” Nuria frowns. “I’ve never seen anything like this. Can’t detect it, can’t track it, can’t spot it.”
We sit in silence, staring out over the old city.
“Pell, you need to hear him out.” It’s the first words either of us have spoken in several minutes. “He’s a complex male and doesn’t do anything without reason. I may not always agree with him, but he always thinks things through before acting.”
I nod. I’d already decided to, once I’m ready.
Silence returns.
“I spent today being nosey,” I finally say. I tell her everywhere I went, and she lights up.
“Harp said you’re an archeologist. Sounds like you really do enjoy putting puzzles of dusty old places together.”
The questions that have been burning for answers all day will no longer be silenced.
“Are those your old rooms off the foyer? Are Idris’s and Aura’s there too? Did you meet in the foyer like you do the café now?” These and more questions flow out like a dam bursting.
She laughs, clearly tickled by my curiosity. But I also see respect growing in how she looks at me.
We grab fruit and bread from the table inside, then return to our respective spots. She shares stories from ages ago, beaming the whole time. Seems she enjoys reminiscing as much as I enjoy hearing each and every tale because with every new piece she offers, I catalog it, expanding the narratives of what life was like.
“Did Harpoc ever take lovers?” The question slips out, ending one of those seven-minute lulls in conversation.
A corner of her mouth hitches, then fades again as she takes a bite of something that looks like an odd tomato. “What do you suppose?”
I roll my eyes. She’s as bad as Harpoc in not answering a direct question.
“Yes, I speculate he did.” I pop a couple berries into my mouth.
“Does that bother you?”
She still hasn’t answered my question.
“If he did—” I swallow. “—I can hardly hold it against him. I’ve known him less than two weeks, and as far as I can tell, he didn’t know he would be bonded at some point. But I don’t see him as a philanderer.”
She laughs, then takes another bite of her tomato-whatever. “You’re right about that. He’s definitely not.”
“Don’t take this wrong…” My eyes dance. “… but did you and he…?”
She points at herself, her voice rising. “Me? You think Harpoc and I…?” She guffaws, slapping her leg.
My face warms, and I hold up a hand. “Sorry. Sorry. I just…”
“You were curious. I get it, but no. Our relationship is… not that.”
I chuckle, relieved.
Pell, did she and Idris ever…?
Shock at my inner minion’s question has me raising my eye brows, but it’s actually a great point.
“Have you and Idris ever…?”
My inner minion laughs.
Nuria takes another bite, sucking in the juice as she does. “What is it with all these kinds of questions?”
“I’m trying to figure out how you work together. I mean, the four of you are close, so I just wondered….”
She snorts, but her cheeks pink.
It may be dim out here on the porch, but she’s blushing enough for me to see.
I raise my eyebrows. “Tell me….” My tone is playful because there’s definitely a juicy story.
“As it happens, Idris and I…” She makes a circular motion with her hand. “… but there’s no way it could last. We have to work together.”
I’m grinning. “So you’ve never done it since… with him?”
She’s too cute when she’s embarrassed, and she’s definitely that. Her white hair just makes her cheeks glow all the more. She’s so busted.
She holds up a hand in surrender. “Every now and again we’ll… but it’s totally casual.”
I clear my throat. “Oh, I’m sure it is.”
“Tell me about you and Harpoc.” She beams, turning the tables, as she downs a final bite.
Oh, boy.
Turn around’s fair play, Pell. My inner minion’s chuckling.
Shush.
“Well, now… um….” My face is burning, and Nuria bursts out laughing.
I pop the last of the berries in my mouth, stalling as I chew.
She grins like the Cheshire cat, propping her booted feet on the rail and tipping her chair back.
I raise a hand. “Harpoc and I….” How much should I tell her? “We haven’t yet… you know.” My cheeks must be bright red.
She raises an eyebrow as if disbelieving but doesn’t probe.
“He’s definitely easy on the eyes…,” I add.
She smiles, but it’s a sweet smile, not a joking one like we’ve been trading.
My heart’s beating faster than usual I note as I add, “At first, all his secrets drove me nuts.”
“And now?”
I meet her gaze. “He… you all… are pawns of secret magic.”
She bobs her head, lips in a line.
“As a being, I think he’s…
” I bite my lip. I’m not sure what I think.
Several seconds lapse and Nuria puts a hand on my arm. “It’s okay, there’s no rush.”
I blow out a breath. “Thank you.”
“So, how ’bout some baklava?” Nuria rubs her hands together.
My eyes go wide. “You… you can…?”
She laughs.
“Harpoc’s been telling you things.” I grin.
“Maybe.” She shrugs.
“What else has he told you about me?” I try to steer clear of begging and fail.
She mimes zipping her lips, and I roll my eyes, earning a hearty laugh.
As we eat our sweet treats, she regales me with more stories about she and Harpoc, she and Aura, she and Idris, and all of them together, and I get a sense of how they relate with each other, what makes each of them tick, what excites them, what pisses each of them off; how relationally challenged Aura fits in with her weird-me-out omnipresence; how a quiet, but straight-laced military guy like Idris can be made to blush at talk of female problems. Apparently his horns tinge pink—this I’ve got to see, not that I’ll have any such problems, anytime soon; how someone as private as Harpoc can be loquacious after a few joints. I can’t stop laughing at Nuria’s impersonation of a high Harpoc.
Neither of us can hold back yawns by the time we decide she’s spending the night. It’s nice not to have his huge bed all to myself.
______
“Would you recreate the rest of his rooms?” I ask the next morning, biting my lip, before she heads back. After all her stories, I want to spend some time with Harpoc, by myself.
She gives me a warm smile, and a small earthquake later, Nuria’s restored the totality of his rooms, including an oversize tub complete with citrus and cloves scented soap, which I plan to avail myself of since I haven’t properly bathed in a couple days.
She turns to me as she prepares to leave, and in little more than a whisper asks, “Pell, is it so awful… to be his mate? To be part of our… family, strange as it may be?”
I’d called them “a family” just yesterday when I spotted their faces carved in that support post. I hadn’t been wrong. Nuria said the foyer was where they gathered, and her stories revealed the treasured times they spent together, like they do at the café these days.
The thought of a family… I don’t know if I should let myself believe it could happen. My hopes have been dashed too many times, but if…
I shake my head. “No, no it wouldn’t.”
She puts a hand on my arm. “Take however long you need.”
I nod.
With that, she vanishes in a swirl of shadows.
I amble into the bath. The enormous tub is big enough for three people, and now that it’s restored, I run my hand over the shiny gray marble. Of course there’s rose insets around the top. I chuckle.
What happens in this tub, stays in this tub.
I snort.
I turn on the water—surprisingly, it’s hot almost immediately—shed my shorts and T-shirt and slip in.
I’d been undecided whether I’d return to Earth after discovering I’m immortal, but now it seems there’s no question that I’ll stay… so why is my gut not on board? What’s holding me back?
Chapter Forty-One
As I soak, I reflect back over the stories Nuria shared about her and the Core, and it hits me hard. I’ve never been part of a family, a group, anything, whose members… want to spend time together because they love each other.
I’ve lacked a place… to belong.
Emotion wells up in that hollow part of my chest.
I’ve always felt like the outsider, apart, but not. Whether it’s my situation growing up in a group home where there’s not much love to go around, my independent personality, a character flaw that can’t stand stupid people, I don’t know. I’ve accepted and moved on, never taking time to examine it.
But against the stories Nuria wove, the contrast couldn’t be more stark.
Could there be another way, Pell?
I’m a loner. Letting others in is scary stuff.
Might Harpoc be the same, Pell?
Are we two loners? Have we both always been too scared to let another living being truly see us?
What might a future with him, with them, look like, Pell?
A future.
I clutch the washcloth until my knuckles turn white.
Archeology is out.
An ache rises in my heart.
You were alone in that dream of digs and discoveries, Pell. This is a new beginning. Let yourself dream something new… with them. My inner minion’s voice is gentle.
Dream something new.
I came because I truly want to kill the double standard that secrets create.
My body tenses.
So much injustice could be fixed if secrets didn’t allow beings to hide their wrongdoings.
I exhale loudly.
Just think if everyone had to face the consequences of their actions, especially those with power.
A twitchy feeling erupts in my arms and legs.
It really would be my ultimate dream realized.
I’m not yet sure, how, but I’m learning more about secret magic all the time.
My thoughts return to Harpoc’s surprise when I challenged secret magic while learning to trip. He told me to surrender to it, I refused. My gut tells me there’s something further to explore there. I need to figure out what.
A flutter rises in my chest. How does being bonded to Harpoc affect the secrets he seals? Do we both need to agree to seal something in order for him to do so?
Mwhahahaha. I can’t help smiling.
What else, Pell? What else do you dream of, with them?
I’d like to get to know Nuria better—she’s quickly becoming the big sister I never had. And Aura—I chuckle—challenged in so many ways as she is, I sense she has a good heart. And then Idris… the fact that he blushes at female problems is enough to tell me that despite being a quieter soul, he could well become a big brother.
My heart warms.
Maybe I’ll train more with Nuria.
Maybe I take up blades and have Idris teach me. Ooo, no, I know. He has a gryphon. Would he teach me to ride one of those brutes?
I practically clap my hands.
How cool would that be?
And sphinxes… what might I dream up to do with them?
What other ancient creatures exist here? Are there hippogriffs? Dragons? Although I don’t want to be singed. Ooo, unicorns, are there any of them here? Maybe a phoenix or mermaid or satyr or centaur? They would be cool, too.
My juices are flowing with the enormity of possibilities.
And after that…
I noodle for several seconds and notice my fingers and toes have become prunes.
Harpoc called me a detective of sorts. I’ve never once considered law enforcement, but I wonder what the equivalent of a police detective is here. I think I’d enjoy helping people gain closure on something that befalls a loved one. I think it’d be meaningful. I’ve no idea how it would work if the bad guy has Harpoc seal his or her secret, but don’t bother me with details.
And he…
Harpoc would be here, supporting me as a sleuth, because the Empire of Secrets is a shelter for the oppressed, he said so himself. Maybe he’d even help. He helped Eser, the boy held by Zeki.
And we’d lounge in the pool and sit under the stars way out here in the middle of nowhere, like he said he likes to do. And then the Core’ll go back to the café, and we’ll all eat together and laugh as we tell stories about our days—and I’ll cherish his laugh that I love so much.
And at night, he’ll wrap me in his arms like a teddy bear and whisper sweet nothings to me, and… and… and…
And then there’s whatever responsibilities an empress…
Empress.
The thought stops my dreaming in its tracks, and my breathing labors.
Uh, no… I’m not empress material. N
ope. No way.
But as I pull back, I realize something. This is a future I can get excited about. I’ve got eternity to figure out what immortality means, and this doesn’t sound half bad.
______
I spend several hours in the rooms I asked Nuria to recreate, touching every piece of furniture, running my hands across his desk, propping my feet up on it, sitting in every one of his chairs and on the sofas, turning the kitchen faucet on and off, picturing him doing exactly that, right in the spot I’m standing.
I start feeling pathetic. This is a horrible way to spend my time, yet it’s addictive.
Wouldn’t you really rather have him here, Pell?
I bite my lip, then force myself to walk to a different building. It’s not like there’s any lack of places to investigate.
I poke around, whiling away the afternoon, until the sun’s rays grow long. But while I enjoy being back at a ruin, my heart’s not in it. That kid-in-the-candy-store excitement that always flows through my veins at a place like this feels more like a genie trapped in a bottle.
Why don’t you just go back, Pell?
But what will I say? I walked out on him.
Unlike with Jude, my excavation director, I showed Harpoc no care or concern once Aimil said he’d be okay. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
I retreat to his rooms, taking a bath to scrub off all the grime I managed to get on me. My hair’s still wet—it’ll take a while to dry in the jungle humidity. I’m just glad Nuria’s wards have protected me from bug bites because darn mosquitoes can make life a living hell.
The sun’s not yet down. I could eat on the balcony again, while enjoying that view, but grabbing a mango and some jerky from the bedroom table, I bite my lip as I decide to eat in Harpoc’s rustic kitchen, at the solid wood table—where I feel closer to him. It’s not overlarge, his solitary habits haven’t changed much.
Thankfully, Nuria restored lighting when she redid his rooms so while the sconces are ancient, between them and another hulking fireplace in which flames dance not far away, there’s sufficient light.
I’ve just bitten into the mango, juices dribbling down my chin, when Nuria’s shadows appear near the spice cupboard maybe a dozen feet away, on the other side of the room.