He closed his eyes again. “I was thinking I'd rather not see you dead.”
His simple statement squeezed my chest. What had I done to deserve such devotion? I sat quietly, holding Macha’s hand while the sedative worked its way out of his system. Callahan had left without me noticing it. At one stage, a nurse stuck her head inside the door to check everything was okay. Then we were alone again.
I couldn't say how long I sat there, waiting for Macha to wake up. I nodded off several times, but the images intruding were so unpleasant, I forced myself to come back to wakefulness.
Just as I was nodding off again, Macha said, “Hey, do you need my bed?”
I looked up, and his beautiful face was lit up with a tiny, tired smile. He whispered, “Would you kiss me?”
There were cameras in this room as well, but frankly, I didn't care. I bent and carefully pressed my lips against his, mindful of the drip he was connected to. When I straightened up again, he grinned. “It was worth getting shot just for that.”
Injured or not, I slapped him across the head. “That is one of the dumbest things you ever said.”
Then I kissed him again until he pushed me away.
“What is it? Did I hurt you?” I asked.
He turned his head away. “No. But I don't deserve it.”
I stared at him. “What are you talking about? You got shot for me.”
He grimaced as if the words hurt him. “I don't deserve it because I’m a coward. Jumping in front of you was a reflex, not something I did on purpose. Because whenever I have time to think, I run away and abandon you.”
I looked at him, completely baffled. I mean, he wasn’t wrong. He had run away. But he also stepped up when it counted. “Not everybody is cut out to be a hero. I'm not a hero. I defend myself when I'm attacked. I had people come after me, and if I hadn’t fought back, I'd be dead. But that's not courage. That's survival instinct.”
Macha shook his head. “That's not the same. I'm… He closed his eyes as if the darkness would make it easier for him to be truthful. “I'm terrified of magic.”
My eyebrows shot up. “But you are a mage. How can you be afraid of magic?”
“First of all, I don't know if that's true. I have no control over whatever my powers might be. And secondly, it's not my magic I'm afraid of. It's what it can do to me.”
His hand searched for mine and squeezed as if he were holding on to an anchor. I remembered what he’d told me in the library. About how he was terrified of losing his humanity.
“I don't know if I can survive if I get turned into a cat again.” His eyes were dull with fear. “What if I’m turned again? I didn’t tell you how little of me there was left. Slug had taken over. I lived for tuna and belly rubs and chasing a cute, gray she-cat belonging to the chef.”
He quickly added, “Nothing happened. But I smelled she would be in heat soon. I’d have mated with her if I hadn't turned back into a human.”
I’d noticed Slug had been more agreeable, had slept more, and not been as attentive when I’d spoken to him. It had happened gradually, but now Macha mentioned it, it had been a noticeable change. I shivered at how close I had come to losing this amazing man.
Macha continued, “And that is why my first instinct is to run away and hide. But I'm fighting it. I want you to be proud of me.”
His words broke my heart, but also made me angry. “Shut up. I'm already proud of you. You saved my life, for God's sake.”
Macha’s eyes drifted close, and as I held his hand, I watched him fall asleep.
The nurse opened the door. “He still needs a lot of rest. Agent Callahan will bring you back tomorrow.”
Callahan waited in the hallway. But instead of walking back to my cell, he turned the other way.
“Where are we going?”
“You'll see.”
Three doors down, he led me into an small apartment. There was no glass-plated wall and no stainless steel toilet. Instead, I looked at a small cooking area with a fridge, a cooker, toaster, and a microwave. It contained everything I needed to stay comfortably. There were colorful prints on the wall, and the bed was made up with crisp, white linen. Cameras watched me from the ceiling, but there was no comparison to an anonymous cell.
“Do you like it?” I turned around, eyes and mouth wide open. The agent’s mouth twitched.
“It's… much better,” I finally responded.
“I'm glad. You’re one of us now.”
22
Amber
A knock on the door announced a visitor. I was lying on the bed, dressed in jogging pants and a white T-shirt with “FBMA” stitched on, reading a briefing document Callahan had dropped off.
Kiernan stuck his head through the door, smiling tentatively. My heart leaped, but I didn't allow myself to give in to my emotions. Things had changed. Macha’d been hurt, and Kiernan had agreed to work with his mother. After everything Julian had told me, I didn't trust her. I needed to talk to Callahan about this, but for now, I enjoyed not being locked into a cell. It was nice to be safe and warm, well-fed and dressed, without fear of being attacked.
Kiernan was waiting by the door, visibly uncomfortable. His hands hung awkwardly by his side. Then he crossed them over his chest. His eyes darted around, and he dropped his arms and put them behind his back.
“Oh, my God. Stop fidgeting.” His awkwardness made me smile against my will. I wanted us to be like we were before. The least I could do was let him explain.
I got up and hugged him tightly. Relief washed over me like a cool wave. He wrapped his arms around me, and cheek against cheek, we reveled in each other's presence.
“I'm so glad to see you,” he whispered.
“Me, too,” I responded. I wasn't lying. “Where's Lance?”
Kiernan kissed the side of my head before answering. “He’ll be here in a few minutes. Callahan allowed us to visit Macha, but only one at a time. He’s still weak.”
We sat down on my bed, arm in arm, while catching each other up. Kiernan didn’t asked for details about Macha’s injury, and I didn't volunteer it. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Macha fall to the ground. The sound of his head hitting the floor would never leave me. Plus the images of Julian in my arms made falling asleep hard these days.
Callahan had suggested I talk to a professional, but so far, I’d refused. Kiernan told me about how he and Lance had woken up in a cell, and how Lance had nearly barbecued both of them. Not once did he mention his mother.
Finally, I couldn't hold back any longer. “When were you going to tell me your mother’s running this unit?”
Kiernan stiffened. “I was wondering when you would bring this up.”
I turned to gauge his reaction. “Have you forgotten the letter you sent me?”
“No, of course not.”
“You told me your mother had documents in her possession, proving Strickland was still working for the Academy.”
“She explained all that to me and Lance when she made us the offer to join the FBMA. The stuff I found was part of the file she was compiling on Farkas's involvement with the human trafficking ring.”
I had to admit, that made sense. If Mrs. Hennessey was in charge of the unit, she would have access to classified information.
“But why did you join the FBMA? After everything they did to us?”
“They did what they had to do. They extracted us from a dangerous situation, from hostile grounds. What about you? Did you join them?”
I confirmed, without telling him my main reason was to get an inside track on Farkas’s boss. Because I didn't believe anymore it was only her. When we’d met her in the Fae realm, she hadn't been the one in charge. There’d been somebody else, more powerful, who gave her orders. And I wanted to find out who it was.
More urgently, he needed to know what Macha’s claims about Julian. There was no easy way to say it, though. So I ripped off the band-aid. “Macha told me Julian was here.”
Kiernan pulled back, his face tu
rning hard. “What do you mean, Julian is here?”
“I know it sounds unbelievable, but Macha says–“
The Irish man got up off the bed. “Macha says, Macha says. Have you lost your mind? I don't care what cat boy believes, but my best friend’s body was left behind in another world. He’s not coming back. Not ever. And the sooner you accept that, the better for all of us.”
Kiernan stood in front of me, breathing heavily. I was shocked by his outburst. I’d honestly thought he’d moved on. But he was just as obsessed with Julian’s passing as I was.
I looked him straight in the eye and said slowly, firmly, “Macha says he can see him. After everything we’ve encountered, is it really so hard to believe there might be spirits or ghosts? What if Julian is still here? What if he’s here right now?”
Kiernan's gaze traveled from side to side uneasily as if he expected Julian's ghost to appear in front of him.
“If he’s still around, then maybe the ritual might be possible,” I continued.
Kiernan’s eyes tightened. “Are you still going on about that ritual? Come on, Amber. We’re now part of a larger team. We have the power of the FBMA behind us. We don't need that stupid ritual anymore.”
I was taken aback by his vehemence.
“Okay.” I picked up my briefing protocol and pretended to read while I struggled to keep my anger from showing on my face. I didn't like the way he spoke to me. Or how he dismissed my concern and my ideas.
Kiernan must've realized he'd hurt me. He sighed and sat back down next to me. "Amber."
I didn't react. He tried again. "Please look at me."
I lifted my head, showing him how completely unimpressed I was. He cupped my face in a familiar gesture. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you. But you've got to admit, believing Julian's still here is unhealthy. And even if he were a ghost, what good would it do us? Best we could do is help him move on, don't you think?"
I dropped my eyes, not wanting him to see how much his words shook me. What if he was right? What if Julian was here because I couldn't let him go?
Kiernan took advantage of my change in mood. He kissed me until I opened my mouth and allowed him to do what he wanted with me. He pushed against my shoulders until my back hit the mattress before stretching out over me and pressing me down with this weight. His tongue tasted as delicious as I remembered. I forgot to breathe as the kiss went on and on.
My knees lifted of their own accord and wrapped themselves around his waist, grinding my lower body against his.
There was another knock at the door, but it barely registered. Lance stuck his head in, his face breaking into a broad grin. "Hennessy, you dog. I can't leave you alone for half an hour without you taking advantage."
Kiernan laughed. "Gotta take the chances as they come, Varga."
As Lance strolled over, my eyes grew bigger and my mouth dropped open. I was speechless. What the hell had happened to my gorgeous lover?
Kiernan lifted himself off me reluctantly, adjusting himself. "Your turn."
I raised my hands, waving them in protest. “It’s nobody’s turn until you tell me what happened to your hair, Lance.”
The tall man stopped and rubbed his bald head, looking mortified. “It was an accident.”
“An accident? What, you burned your own hair off?”
“It’ll grow back soon. I hope.”
“You hope?” My voice had turned into a dog whistle.
Lance’s eyes were downcast. “Yeah. I didn’t burn myself except for the hair. The doc says as long as the roots weren’t damaged, it’ll come back.”
Oh, for goodness sake. I beckoned him closer. “Let me have a feel.”
He kneeled down next to the bed, and I rubbed my palm over his scalp. He looked so different without hair. Thankfully, only slightly-singed brows topped his beautiful brown eyes. The lack of hair accentuated his bone structure. If anything, he looked even sexier than before.
“Kiss me, idiot.”
Lance grinned and continued where Kiernan had left off. Just as he was about to slip his hand under my shirt, there was another knock on the door. Without waiting for an answer, Callahan walked in, shaking his head. He pointed at the cameras. "You really want to give them a show?"
My face heated up with embarrassment. I quickly tugged my shirt down while Lance and Kiernan stood up.
Then I sat up, ignoring the fact my panties were damp and my nipples stood to attention under the thin shirt. Callahan pointedly kept his eyes on my face. "It's time for your first briefing. Amber, splash some cold water in your face, and let's go."
23
Julian
When Callahan called Amber for their first meeting, I floated off down the hallway, willing away my ghost erection. It was too much like hard work to get angry just so I could jerk off. Maybe if they'd continued what they'd started. The agent's appearance put a damper on it, though.
I hadn't yet checked in with Macha today. He still slept most of the time, but maybe he was awake now, and I could talk to him. I was in luck.
His eyes lit up when I entered the room. "Julian. I was getting bored by myself."
I smiled and sat down on his bed, focusing on not drifting too low. But controlling my movement was becoming easier with practice. "Hey. How are you? I thought I'd swing by in case you were awake."
"How's Amber?"
"Well, they all joined the FBMA."
"Really?" His skepticism was very audible. "Why did they do that?"
"Kiernan's mother is running this unit."
Macha didn’t seem surprised by the news. "Some woman came to see me this morning. She didn't introduce herself, but she reminded me of Kiernan. That, and her accent. I should have known they were related."
"What did she want?"
"She inquired with the doctor how long I was still going to be bedbound. I don't think I was supposed to hear it, but you know..." He pointed at his ears. "Cat hearing."
I had my back to the door. The only warning I got that something wasn't right was the color draining from Macha's face. I turned. Somebody had entered the room, staring grimly at Macha. It was Farkas.
I couldn't believe my eyes. Not only was she alive, but she was here. In the secure FMBA compound. In my friend's room.
Macha's shoulders were by his ears as he slipped deeper under his cover. He looked like a little kid, trying to ward off the monster under his bed.
Farkas grinned. "There you are, my little kitty-cat. You're a handsome man, Macha. But I prefer you as I left you."
"No. Please, don't," Macha whispered as his terrified gaze met mine.
I rose to the ceiling and swooped at Farkas's head. It was no use. She didn't even flinch. Instead, she raised both hands and murmured words I didn't understand. But I could see them. They flowed from her lips like an oily substance, writhing and bending in the air. They moved towards Macha who was cowering, making himself as small as possible.
My anger flared as she cast her spell on my friend. I could feel myself go solid. Again, I threw myself at Farkas. This time, she looked up. "I can see you, dead boy. Try that again, and I'll turn you into self-aware molecules."
I froze. Her threat wasn't an empty one. I felt it in my ghost soul she'd be able to do just that. Making me break apart, every bit of me aware of what was happening. Maybe for eternity. That hesitation was Macha's doom.
She turned her attention back to my injured friend. Macha's gaze locked with mine, begging me silently to not leave him. I let him know silently I wouldn’t leave him. I'd bear witness to what was happening, and I'd find a way to save him.
Farkas continued muttering, her hands moving in intricate shapes. She was weaving a truly evil spell. The air stank of it, and a thin layer of soot landed on the bed. It crawled towards Macha.
"Get out of the way," I screamed. If that substance touched him, he was lost. I'd never seen a spell like that before, but I knew in my heart that something terrible would happen to him.
Macha w
as shaking so violently, the bed creaked. I phased through the wall, but the anteroom was empty. There was no nurse or doctor. They wouldn't have heard me anyway, but there wasn't even a chance they might wander in to disturb Farkas. Yet the cameras were on, and yet nobody came to the rescue. The whole situation didn't add up.
"It's a setup," I said out loud. Then I returned to my friend's bedside.
The grimy sludge had reached Macha's hands. Farkas gestured, and the bedcover fell to the ground. Macha's huge eyes fixed on mine.
"Don't leave me," he whispered.
"I won't." I watched as the soot touched his skin and latched on like tar. Macha gasped as fur erupted. Every hair pierced like a needle, leaving a drop of blood on the shaft. I shuddered, imagining thousands of little cuts, mercilessly pushing through Macha's skin. His moans turned to screams when his bones broke and twisted themselves into a much smaller body.
His back bent and broke as he wailed in agony. I would have held my ears closed if I could have. Watching Macha's transformation was the most horrible thing I'd ever seen. His vocal cords shredded and regrew until his human voice turned into a cat's scream.
And then it was over. Instead of a gorgeous man with copper skin and black hair, there was a cat lying unconscious on the bed cover. The only sign of life was the rising and falling of Slug's ribcage.
"You're such a cute cat. But you know what? We can't have a tom roaming the facility. What if you went into heat? I'll have your pretty balls snipped off. Let's see if anybody wants to turn you back then."
She picked up my friend's body and cradled him against her chest. Then she left the room while I followed.
I had to do something. But what could I do other than repeat over and over again, "Slug. Macha. You've got to wake up."
Farkas turned and winked. Which was the exact moment the cat in her arms opened his eyes, hissed, and scratched across her face, tearing off part of her lower lip. Farkas screeched and dropped Slug. She rushed back into the medical room while Slug legged it down the hallway, running as if the devil were after him. Which as a matter of speech, she would be soon.
Second Chance Heat, a reverse harem magical academy HEA paranormal romance: Book Four of the Second Chance Academy Series Page 13