My jaw is tight, heart pounding as I stare at the flowers I sent this morning. They’re on the dresser with my note out of its envelope. Jason glances to me and I turn and walk away.
I can no longer hear the tornado. Like a robot I’m stepping around people. Numb, I’m not sure where I’m going. But I have to get away from the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
She kissed him?
That’s why she wouldn’t open the door?
Asher was inside?
How can that be true?
Am I in some sort of nightmare, about to wake up any second?
Alfredo, the man who plays our father, bumps into me on his way out of our dressing room. I’m sharing one with him since I’m not the lead. In more ways than one, turns out.
“Sorry Logan! Shit, I need a smoke. And I quit twenty years ago! You think she can pull it off?”
I blink at him. “I don’t know what she’s capable of.”
“You hear from Marion? I heard…”
I cross to my chair, the mirror well lit for the application of stage makeup we all have to wear or we disappear under the harsh spotlights. I don’t hear another word Alfredo says. My fingers reach for thick foundation and I go to work.
“Logan, I’m talking to you.”
“Huh?” I glance over and see Jason Cocker has taken Alfredo’s place. Even though I’m staring at a mirror, I didn’t see him walk in. Didn’t see Alfredo leave. Their reflections blended into a blur of who cares.
Jason sits down, long legs spreading as pale green eyes narrow on me with interest. “I asked if you’re okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be okay, Mr. Cocker?”
He bites his lip and rakes his white-blonde hair with his left hand, wedding ring winking in the warm light. “Did you know Sam and Asher were…”
My stomach does another nosedive as I grimace, “You’ve met him?”
“Never heard of him before tonight.” Her dad stares at me like he hopes that makes me feel better.
“I don’t care what she does. If she’s into him, no big deal.” My dead gaze returns to the mirror, but in it I’m seeing that New York fuckhead pull back from her lips. The glimmer of excitement that was in her beautiful brown eyes twisted the blade though. She wanted his kiss.
She wanted it.
“Logan, if it makes you feel better, Sam is really young.”
I frown, “We’re the same age.”
“Yeah but, and I know it’s hard for people in their twenties to hear this, but life is long, not short. We change over the years, if we’re doing things right.” He exhales, glances over as Sarah walks up. With a shake of his head Mr. Cocker tells her he needs more time. She nods, glances to me, and disappears. His voice is deep and sincere as he explains, “Samantha’s our baby. I know Hunter is the youngest but he was born older. Not my Sam. She’s our innocent. She’s lived in Lexi’s wild shadow all these years. And with Max and Caden being the over-protective brothers that they are, well, she’s young. She needs to sow her oats a little. That’s what Cockers need to do.”
“So?”
He bites his lip in thought, rising and clasping my shoulder. He’s been a second father to me, and there’s love in his firm grip as he holds my eyes. “I’m just saying, don’t give up hope.”
He disappears in the direction of his wife.
Staring at the empty doorway, I snort, pick up the powder and toss it down, disgusted. “If he thinks I’m waiting around for her, he’s nuts.” Covering my face in my hands I groan and take a few deep breaths, dropping them down to find Asher in the reflection. He’s leaning on the doorframe. “Hey Logan. How’s it going?”
“I’m ready. You?”
He eyes me, amused. “Totally.”
Chapter Ten
LOGAN
I shout, “You’re not supposed to be with her!”
He rushes up. Gets in my face. “We’re in love. Why can’t you get that?”
“Why can’t you get that Mom and Dad will never allow it. The town will revolt.”
“Michael, please keep this secret. I need you! Your help.”
The angels have broken out in tortured operatic song, dancers enacting their anguish. Lights brighten on us to signal dawn’s untimely approach. Our first audience is on the edge of their seats, a crackle of tension as they hold their breaths for my answer.
“You’re on your own.”
That’s not the line.
Asher blinks at me, improvises, “Don’t say that, Michael. You’re the only one who understands me for me. I don’t care about religion. I care about love. I need her. Can you imagine a life without her?”
No.
I can’t.
He grabs my arms, and I vomit the real line, “If they ask, I don’t know where you are.”
“That’s all I need! Some time to convince her to leave this place, run away with me.”
To New York.
Where I’ll have to watch you.
Falling in love.
Fuck that.
“I’ll do my best, Donovan, but I don’t approve! I can’t. It’s not right. This isn’t how love is supposed to be, hiding and lying. It’s not what God would want.”
“God wants us together. It’s the human beings who want us apart.”
He added that line, and I hate it. What an asshole.
I’m supposed to hug him here. Instead, my disgust waves him away as I march off the stage. But not before I see Samantha in costume, a baby-blue gown with matching ballet shoes not making a sound as she tip-toes onstage in search of her lover.
In real life.
And in fake.
Dammit! Keep walking, Logan!
Don’t stand offstage and watch them from the sidelines. You’re not on again until after intermission.
Go to your room.
Don’t torture yourself.
I’m not that strong.
Because look at how her brown eyes are clear, frightened, but filled with hope. It’s as if she didn’t mean to come this way, had tried to deny she wanted him, but now here she is with no control over what happens next.
Donavan doesn’t see her approach. She leaps in the air at the sight of him. This brings him to life. I didn’t witness them rehearsing last night after dress rehearsal crumbled. We were sent home so they could work. It never occurred to me that it meant they’d be alone.
It’s devastating how perfectly they dance together. They float on the song of angels standing in the background. Samantha is breathtaking as she gives herself to his lead, the years of our training granting her feet not just grace but wings. She was made for this role. One night and she has surpassed weeks of Marion’s forced charisma.
I am shattered, yet can’t stop watching. One second I’m seeing her as eleven-years-old performing a jazz routine in an orange costume with tassels, her hair in blonde braids. The next I’m hypnotized by the talent she’s become.
He does something new with Sam, unrehearsed with Marion. As he brings her close, he lightly brushes her lips with his. She closes her eyes, keeps them closed when he leaves her there, alone.
The audience sighs as Sam’s arms float out. She bends as if giving in to whatever will come of her. The lights go dark, and I bow my head.
Chapter Eleven
SAMANTHA
I ’ve never felt so high in my entire life.
The applause.
It’s intoxicating.
Alliance is sold-out, its entirety on their feet for an ovation I’ve never experienced.
I cannot stop grinning.
For once I’m not in the back making room for the stars. No wonder people chase a dream as hard as they chase this one, appreciation of this magnitude on the other side. I could get addicted to such a feeling.
Our star takes his solo bow, and I eagerly clap right along with the audience even though perhaps I’m not supposed to. I completely forget myself. Look at how he shines in the lights. So beautiful. Back poised, muscles in his legs flexed a
s he takes two steps back to be at my side. Asher truly is a star, dignified, even regal! But he has experience standing upfront like this, basking in the smiles of strangers who are grateful to have seen his talent tonight.
I glance to Logan, but find him staring expressionless.
He must be in shock.
We’ve always danced background. That he had a speaking role in this beautiful musical that brought tears to people’s eyes — they’re wiping them now! — is as uncommon an experience for him as for me.
Our choreographer steps forward to take her bow. Many in the audience know exactly who she is. Tonights crowd contains many of the theaters sponsors and benefactors. Besides them, Atlanta isn’t a huge city. It’s the biggest we have in Georgia, and we have much pride in our arts here. Galloway’s face and reputation are well known.
Her applause is stronger than ours. And just like Asher, she shines. With perfect timing, her fingers float to the orchestra and we all point as well, indicating that it’s time for the audience to send a little love.
I clap very hard, beaming at Jacob Fiorentino, our composer. He will forever be burned into my memory as the one who guided my first lead-role dance. I’m acting like a complete dork right now, but so what? I’m beyond grateful.
Dad whistles from fourth row, center. Mom is grinning next to him. With them are Lexi, Hunter, Max and Natalie, all so proud. I wish Caden were here!
I wave and bend as the curtain closes.
But the applause does not stop.
Ms. Galloway directs us to remain where we are as it escalates. Music resumes. The curtains glide back open.
It was all worth it.
The bruises.
The tears.
Being yelled at by her genius.
Standing onstage, faces spotlit, every single one of us would do it all again.
My mind flashes to Marion, smile flickering. What a tragedy my ticket cost her so much.
Asher takes my hand and my focus, lifting both into the lights. This is very generous of him to showcase me. I don’t have a huge role. Logan’s part is much bigger than mine. I never even speak.
But the love story is what propels the story, so I guess I never needed to.
As I watched Marion rehearse every day and night, I always thought it powerful that Izzy never uttered a word as drama unraveled around her.
That’s how I knew the steps. I’d learned the main dance in the audition, the rest memorized from how many hours I spent watching her perfecting them. I could’ve scrolled through random stuff on my phone in some corner like most everyone else during our breaks, as the main act solidified. Instead I studied to become a better dancer.
There’s Zoe with her brothers, Nathan and Wyatt. Musicals aren’t their thing, but they showed! I want to kiss them, I’m so glad to see their faces. Nicholas and Maddie, I can’t see. I guess they couldn’t make it.
Oh, Hannah and Tobias! She blows me a kiss, and I laugh and throw one back. They must have gotten a sitter for Clara.
Where is Emma? They’re best friends, and this would have been exactly their jam.
Grandma Nance and Grandpa Michael are in the second row, so close I didn’t see them at first! And they’re with Ethan and Charlie.
“Grams!” I call out as I spot her on the other side of Grandpa, her ex-congressman son who dwarfs her, since she can’t stand with everyone else. She’s so tiny in the seat as bright blue eyes shimmer, her frail fingers separately waving hello. “I love you, Grams!”
My dad shouts, “You’re not supposed to talk to us.”
Grams yells back with her southern drawl, “Language, Jason!”
“What?! I didn’t swear!”
“You chastised her while she’s takin’ her bows!”
People around them laugh as the curtains close again and for the last time. I’m laughing, too, and even though Asher is still holding my hand, my gaze searches our cast for my best friend. He’s the one who will understand the comedy of that moment. I need to see the grin Grams gave him.
“Logan!” I call out. He’s walking away now that the audience can no longer see us. “Logan!” He doesn’t turn around. That’s odd.
“Sam,” Asher says. “You are amazing.”
Shyly tucking my hair back, I smile, “I was just following you.”
He traces my jawline, hazel eyes filled with meaning. He’s the prettiest man I’ve ever seen, and I’m on stage at the Alliance with him. How did I get so lucky?
He and I feel her before we see her, glancing over as Ms. Galloway approaches. Even she who has danced hundreds of performances, is glowing from the response we got tonight.
“Samantha, you did a fabulous job. I am very impressed. I didn’t know how you would pull that off, but I thought if anybody could do it, it was you. I pay attention. Just like you. You want to go far in this business, keep it up.”
“Thank you, Ms. Galloway.”
One of the singers pulls her to a corner with a desperate question, leaving Asher and I alone.
I’m staring at his lips, so happy it’s like my skin is singing. “Everyone is going to the Vortex for drinks after.”
“Why don’t you come back to my hotel tonight?”
I blink up, taken aback by the assumption I would jump into bed like that. I’m not as old fashioned as Zoe is, but come on. “I wanted to celebrate with everybody tonight, Asher.”
He opens his mouth to object, or perhaps be more persuasive, but my family walking up behind me interrupt, “Sammy!”
He lowers his voice to say, “I’ll catch you later.”
Nodding, I run to mom and give her a hug as she laughs, so happy for me. I’m taller than her—hell, the whole world is taller than her—so I bend to hear the whisper she wants to share with only me. “You were so beautiful I was crying.”
“Really?”
She nods, glowing with pride.
Dad envelops me in a bear hug, rocking us back and forth. “You were floating. I swear I never saw your feet touch the ground.”
“Dad, you’re exaggerating.”
“I’m not.” Pride shines from his eyes as he holds my shoulders and stares at me like he can’t believe I’m his little girl. “You were a superstar out there tonight.”
I melt and give him another hug, closing my eyes as he squeezes me tight.
Lexi and Zoe wait while everybody takes turns saying the most amazing things to me. Since we live together, they are biding their time until we are alone. I can’t wait to tell them about Asher.
Grandpa Michael has become a lot more talkative since he retired from politics. But tonight he’s just smiling in a silent way like the performance made him speechless.
Grandma Nance is his opposite. She is going on and on, gushing until finally Hannah says, “Grandma, where is Grams?”
“She had a cold last week and the cough has stuck around. One of her friends drove her here tonight, and they left since Samantha saw her and she was able to say hello from the audience.” Turning to me, she adds, “Grams didn’t have the energy to come backstage, honey, but she said she knew you’d be that good. It was no surprise to her.”
I laugh, and hug Max as he tells me, “Wow, just wow. I wish Caden was here to see that!”
“I know!” I sigh, pulling back with a sad smile. “I was thinking the same thing.”
“I videoed some of it to send to him.”
“You’re not supposed to do that!”
“So?”
I smack his arm and look at Hunter. He jerks his chin up at me, shoving hands in his pockets on a proud smirk.
With the albums Dad’s produced, and the music careers Mom’s managed, they’re thoughtful to call an end to the family congratulations.
“Are you going out with the cast tonight?” Mom asks, intending everyone to know.
Dad nods, “We’ve taken up enough of your time.”
I smile, “We’re going to the Vortex. You guys wanna come?!”
Mom rolls her eyes. “N
o, honey, this is your big night and you should be with the people who understand what it took to get here. We just wanted to be in the audience watching you shine.”
Hannah gives me a hug. “I have a sitter watching Clara.”
“Where is Emma?”
“Big as a whale, so she needed the beach. Aka her couch. She’ll come before the run is over, but she backed out at the last minute because her feet wouldn’t fit into anything other than slippers.”
Her MMA husband, Tobias, slips me a flask. “Take this to the party.”
“Woodford Reserve?”
“Like you’d drink whiskey.”
My jaw drops on a grin. “You don’t know what I drink! Maybe I take it straight.” Glancing to Grandpa Michael I demure, “I’m kidding!”
He gives me a wary look with humor crinkling his sharp, green eyes. “You better be.”
Turning comically away I whisper loud enough for everyone to hear me, “Seriously, what’s in this?”
“A green smoothie.”
“No, you didn’t!”
Tobias’s deep laugh shakes his shoulders. “Congratulations, Sam.” Turning to Hannah he says, “We could tell the sitter to wait.”
“No, Aunt Sarah’s right. Let Sammy be with her cast tonight. And that lead, wow! Was it just me or is there something between you?”
Everyone is interested. I throw up my hands. “Too soon, guys, too soon!”
We say our goodbyes and Zoe whispers to me, “He’s beautiful,” right before she goes.
Hunter lags behind the others. He throws me a look and shakes his head.
Chapter Twelve
SAMANTHA
Backstage is an absolute zoo.
Everyone is flying on the rush of adrenaline.
From their enthusiastic congratulations nobody expected me to pull it together that fast.
I’m grinning as I reach for my dressing room door and spot Logan heading for the exit, far down the hall. “Logan!”
He didn’t hear me.
I push through people to get to him, saying his name again at the top of my lungs.
He still doesn’t turn around.
Samantha Cocker (Cocker Brothers Book 21) Page 4