“By all means ...” Seth pressed a kiss to Erik’s shoulder before rolling onto his back again. He held an arm out, and Erik flipped onto his side, nestling against Seth. “Explore away.”
“I’m kind of fascinated by your chest hair,” Erik admitted as he sank his fingers into the softness. “I actually noticed it at the airport.”
“And you said earlier that you’d never checked out men! Liar!” Seth let out a little tsking sound.
“I’m not lying! I honestly didn’t before that, or at least not consciously. I looked at men at the gym, but I thought any interest was ... I don’t know, aesthetic.”
“You never wanted to touch them?”
“No.”
“Interesting. Well, lucky thing we ended up in a room together then, huh?”
“Lucky,” Erik agreed. He dragged his fingertips down Seth’s sternum, feeling the soft tickle of his hair. “This feels nice though. You have a lot more than I do, so I’m not used to it.”
“I am kinda hairy,” Seth said ruefully.
“No, it’s good,” Erik said. “It’s not all over your back or anything. Just here.”
Seth grabbed his hand and brought it lower. “Here too.”
“Soft,” was all Erik could manage as he felt the brush of hairs against his fingertips, though his palm rested against Seth’s very erect cock.
“Soft?” Seth sounded incredulous. “I think you’re a little confused.”
Erik curled his fingers around the warm length. “Maybe I need to keep exploring.” He stroked softly, and Seth let out a little gasp.
“Maybe you do.”
Erik stroked Seth for a while, an easy slide of his hand as he learned the shape and weight of Seth’s cock. It felt good in his hand. It had taken Erik decades to get here, but it felt shockingly right to lay naked in bed with a man, stroking his cock. Seth let out a little gasp of pleasure when Erik reached lower, cupping his balls and feeling the soft heft of them.
Erik nudged Seth’s cheek with his nose, seeking his mouth. Seth turned into it, capturing Erik’s lips with his own. He played with Seth’s testicles for a while as they kissed before Seth broke away with a little gasp. “Need your hand on my cock again.” Seth grabbed his wrist and brought it to his mouth, dragging his tongue across Erik’s palm several times.
It added a nice amount of slickness to Erik’s strokes as he moved up and down Seth’s length. “Fuck, that’s good,” Seth whispered. But he didn’t seem anywhere near orgasm, even when Erik sped up a little and added a twist of his wrist.
“Do you want my mouth on you?” Erik asked. He was so filled with nervous anticipation his heart felt like it was in his throat.
Seth turned to look at him. “You don’t have to.”
“Do you want me to?”
Seth brushed his fingertips against Erik’s temple. “I want you to do whatever you’re comfortable with.”
“But would you enjoy it if I sucked you?”
“Yes.”
“Then I want to.”
Erik did. He really, really did. But his heart still hammered inside his chest as he slid down Seth’s body, then tentatively licked at the head. He took Seth’s cock into his mouth, closed his eyes, and sucked. And when Seth whispered, “Mmm, Erik, that’s amazing,” it felt amazing to him too.
Especially when he made Seth moan and move under him, seeking more. He didn’t thrust into Erik’s mouth much, letting Erik control the depth, but the sounds he made, and the restless shift of his hips made Erik’s blood heat. The scent of Seth’s skin and the feel of him running his hands across Erik’s head made his own cock hard where it was trapped between his body and the sheets. He liked the weight of Seth’s cock on his tongue and the slightly bitter flavor that leaked from the tip.
His jaw grew a little sore as he worked Seth over, trying desperately to return the pleasure Seth had given him. He slid off for a moment to give himself a rest but kept sliding his hand up and down Seth’s shaft, a little disappointed Seth hadn’t come yet. When Seth pressed warm fingertips to his shoulder, Erik glanced up at him questioningly.
“I don’t always come very easily this way,” Seth explained.
“So, I’m not doing a bad job?”
“God, no.” Seth cupped his cheek. “That felt amazing. Seriously, seriously amazing.”
“What can I do to make you come then?”
Seth’s eyes gleamed. “How would you like to play with those toys you discovered earlier?”
“I’d like that a lot.” Erik slid out of bed and retrieved the little pouch before he could second guess himself. He’d been thinking about them since he saw them, and damn it, he was curious. “I have no idea what I’m doing though,” he admitted as he took a seat on the bed beside Seth’s hip.
“It’s okay.” Seth sat up and kissed him. “It’ll be fun to show you.”
That was probably one of the things Erik liked about Seth most—he realized as Seth squeezed a little lube onto Erik’s fingers and instructed him how to tease his entrance, then slide them inside. He made this awkward moment fun and not nerve-wracking. Erik didn’t have to know what he was doing. Seth did. And he made it playful instead of awkward, hot instead of clinical. And Erik couldn’t get enough of making Seth moan every time he slid his fingers into the slick tightness of Seth’s body.
With whispered instructions, Seth guided him to slide a pillow under his hips and slick up the heavy, stainless steel toy. It had real heft in his hand, and he lined up the smaller of the two round, knobby ends with Seth’s entrance.
“Mmm,” Seth said as Erik teased him with the toy. It was half-moon shaped, and Erik was unsure exactly what angle to slide it in at. Seth seemed to sense that because he reached down, guiding Erik’s hand until the two ends of the toy curved upward. Ah, that made sense. When Erik slid it inside, the round ball would curve up and stimulate Seth’s prostate. “Whenever you’re ready,” Seth coaxed.
There was a needy, throaty little note to Seth’s voice that urged him on, so Erik bit his lip and helped Seth ease the toy inside him. When it was halfway in, Seth let out a low, protracted moan, throwing his head back on the pillow.
Erik took over then, moving slowly, easing the length of stainless steel in and out of Seth’s body. He shuddered and gasped, and Erik saw more pre-cum leak from the tip. He used his free hand to grasp Seth’s cock, and he licked it off before he took Seth into his mouth. His confidence grew with every needy little gasp Seth made and every rise of his hips. The toy had grown warm in his hand, heated by Seth’s body.
“Keep that up and I’m going to come so hard,” Seth said, his voice strained and desperate.
Erik knew it was both a plea to keep going and a warning that if he didn’t want to swallow, he should lift his head, but he didn’t want to miss out. Erik wanted to taste Seth desperately, so he sucked harder and slowly dragged the toy across the spot that made him gasp every time. A few moments later, Seth came with a strangled, hoarse shout that mingled with the sounds still coming from the TV.
Erik choked a little at the sudden rush of liquid in his mouth, but he swallowed it, gulping several times before it was all gone. He mimicked what Seth had done earlier, gently easing his mouth off and licking him clean. Seth shuddered as he slowly slipped the toy out of him as well, his body still quivering with little aftershocks of pleasure.
Erik set the toy beside him on the floor, on top of one of the towels they’d tossed aside earlier, then slid up Seth’s body. Seth immediately shimmied closer, winding their bodies together as he kissed Erik deeply. He drew back a minute later with a contented little sigh. “Mmm, thank you.”
“Good?”
“So good.” Erik liked the dazed, breathless way Seth said that. It meant he’d made Seth feel as good as he himself had felt. “You know, I’ve used that toy on myself, but I’ve never actually had someone else use it on me.”
“No?” Erik was a little surprised.
“Other toys, yeah. But not that one.”
“Not even with Hans?” Erik teased, though he didn’t really like thinking about Seth in bed with someone else.
“Nope. Not even with Hans.” Seth trailed his fingertips up and down Erik’s arm. “It’s a little too intimate to do with just anyone.”
“But not too intimate with me?” Erik felt oddly touched.
“No.” Seth pressed a little closer until their bodies were touching from chest to ankle. “You’ve been staggeringly honest with me about your previous relationship and your exploration of this new side of yourself. That’s a lot of intimacy on your end. This was the least I could do.”
“Thank you.” Erik gave him a brief, sweet kiss.
“No, thank you.” Seth nestled closer. For the longest time, they simply laid there, content to be together.
Erik awoke hours later to Seth’s hand on his cock. “What time is it?” he said groggily. The TV was off, and the only light came in through the curtains they’d forgotten to close.
“Middle of the night.” Seth’s voice was barely a whisper. “Ever been woken up for sex?”
“No.”
Seth pushed him onto his back. “You’re about to be.”
Erik felt like he must be dreaming as Seth slipped a condom down over his very hard cock and slicked it. Seth straddled his hips and lowered down over him. Before Erik could blink, he was encased in tight heat. He couldn’t even formulate words as Seth braced his hands on his chest and rolled his hips with a fluid motion. It sent Erik’s head spinning, and he clutched Seth’s hips just to have something to anchor him.
The dim silence of the room was broken only by the short panting breaths they both let out and the soft slap of their bodies together. Every inch of Erik’s body was filled with pleasure as Seth rode him. He lost himself in the sweet rhythm and the feel of Seth around him. Everything was so hazy. He didn’t know if it was minutes or hours later that he felt the wet spurt of Seth’s cum on his chest and belly before the tight clench of Seth’s body sent Erik over the edge too.
He was already sliding back into sleep by the time Seth gently slipped off him and cleaned him up. Erik only had time to grasp Seth’s hand and pull him in for a kiss before he was out again.
When Erik awoke again, it was morning, and Seth was sprawled on his stomach on the bed beside him, his head turned away. Erik felt the corners of his mouth curve up into a smile at the memories of the night before. He waited for guilt or shame to rear their ugly heads but all he felt was bone-deep contentment. It felt new and different, and his head was still whirling with thoughts of what they’d done the night before. But nothing about it had felt wrong. It had felt good to be intimate with someone again.
Long before his marriage had ended, he’d divorced himself from the sexual part of his life. Masturbation had been like going to the gym. A means to an end. It had never left him with a pounding heart and spinning head. Or a feeling of warmth and contentment.
Erik felt a strange fullness in his chest as he looked at Seth’s back. It was smooth and lightly muscled with a few freckles dotting the skin along his shoulder blades. Erik watched the slow, easy rise and fall of his breathing for a long time as the room lightened and so did his heart. This felt good and right in a way he’d never dreamed about.
No, there was no room for guilt or shame in him. He was too happy and content to have any space for regret or second thoughts. Now he knew. Bisexual. He mulled the word over in his head again and smiled. Yeah, that seemed to fit.
He’d long ago quieted his father’s disapproving voice in his head. He hadn’t let his father’s sneering disdain over how much time and energy Erik put into raising his daughter stop him from giving her the love and attention she deserved. Or allowed his scornful lectures of how soft Erik was change the way he ran the business his father had started. So there was no need to let his father in to disapprove of Erik’s love life either. Hell, if what Erik suspected was true, his father had bought this hotel to hide a mistress from his wife. He was the one who should be ashamed. Not Erik. There was no shame in lying in bed beside a man like Seth. In taking pleasure and comfort from him. In finding connection in an often cold and disconnected world. No shame in it at all.
Unable to help himself, Erik reached out and lightly stroked his palm down Seth’s back. He stirred and let out a contented little sound as he burrowed into the covers, but a moment later, he turned his head to look at Erik. He gave Erik a sleepy, happy smile. “How are you doing this morning?” he asked hoarsely.
“Really, really good,” Erik admitted.
“Good. No freaking out?”
Erik shook his head. “Nah. No need for it. I’m happy. This feels good. What’s there to freak out about?”
A frown crossed Seth’s face. “It happens sometimes. You could have regretted what we did and thrown me out of your room and left me naked in the hallway.”
Puzzled by Seth’s words and reaction, Erik frowned at him. “I know I was a jerk at the airport, but I thought we were well past that. Why would you have done everything we did together if you think I’m that much of an asshole?” Erik sat up, unable to look at Seth anymore. It hurt knowing Seth had doubted him that way.
Seth sighed and sat up too. “I don’t think you’re that much of an asshole. I just know it can’t be easy to explore something like this after a lot of years of denying it.”
“I wasn’t denying it. I just ...” He struggled to find the words. He really hadn’t even considered the idea. After the kiss with Trevor, he’d shut down that portion of himself entirely. “I just hadn’t let myself consider that this was a part of me. Or maybe this thing with you was just me meeting the right person at the right time. I guess that’s why it bothers me that you’d assume the worst about me.”
“Oh, Erik.” Seth cupped his cheek. “I’m not. It’s ... look, I had that happen once. Maybe I’m projecting a little.”
Erik met his gaze. “You ended up naked in a hotel hallway after sex?”
“I had on underwear, but yes.” He frowned.
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
“No.” Seth scrubbed his hands over his face. “But I will. The highlights anyway.”
“Okay.” Erik settled against the headboard and gave Seth his full attention.
“One time when I was traveling for work, I went down to the hotel bar for a drink. There was a guy there, drinking alone, and we started talking. He wore a wedding ring but he swore up and down the marriage was over, they were getting a divorce, all that. And we started flirting. A couple of drinks later, he invited me up to his room. He admitted he’d never been with a man before, but he was curious, so we had sex. It was good, but in the morning, his wife called, and he completely lost his shit, accused me of getting him drunk and taking advantage of him, and he threw me out in the hallway in nothing but a pair of briefs.”
Erik winced. “That’s awful.”
“It wasn’t one of my better moments.”
“Hey, no,” Erik said. He gently grabbed Seth’s wrist. “It wasn’t one of his better moments. Or maybe it was, and he’s just that much of an asshole, but you have nothing to blame yourself for.”
“No? He was married.”
“He also clearly lied about the separation.” Erik rubbed his thumb against the soft spot on the inside of Seth’s wrist. “He fucked up. Not you.”
“You’re sweet.” Seth gave him a little smile, but there was a tinge of sadness to it.
“Not sure anyone but Jo would agree with you.”
“Maybe we both see a side of you that you don’t show everyone else.”
Erik considered the idea. “Maybe so.”
“I’m glad you don’t have any regrets this morning though.” Seth rested his chin on his knees and looked at him from under his lashes.
“I don’t. I feel ... so content right now. I feel like for the first time in a very long time, I’m right where I need to be.” Erik gestured around them. They’d tossed their clothes aside, and the floor be
tween the beds held their discarded towels and sex toys. A ripped condom packet sat on the nightstand next to the lube and fortunes from the after-dinner cookies. It was real and imperfect and a reminder of all of the good things that had happened in the past twenty-four hours.
Seth’s smile was brilliant as he sat up again. “I’m glad. I’m sorry I got weird and ruined the morning.”
“It’s okay,” Erik assured him. “I’ve been honest with you, and I’m definitely okay with you being honest with me.” Although he was sorry Seth had been treated like that, he liked that little glimpse into Seth’s past. He liked understanding him better. “You didn’t ruin anything, but if you want, maybe we can start this morning over?”
Seth tilted his head and gave Erik a curious look. “What did you have in mind?”
“Maybe, uh, another blowjob?” He offered Seth a teasing smile.
Seth chuckled. “Have I created a monster?”
“You might have,” Erik admitted. “I think in twenty years of marriage, my ex gave me three blowjobs, so excuse me if I’m eager for more.”
“Okay, first of all, I don’t want to hear about your ex. She was a fool to let a man like you go to waste. Second, I think this is a situation that calls for a lot more physical action than conversation.”
Seth slipped beneath the covers, and Erik moaned when he wrapped a hand around his cock. “I can agree to that,” he said a little breathlessly as he threaded his fingers through Seth’s hair. “I can definitely agree to that.”
“So what now?” Erik asked after they were sprawled out on the bed, breathing hard. He’d ended up on his back with Seth kneeling over him, and he’d come in Seth’s mouth while sucking Seth’s cock. He’d needed to use his fingers to make Seth come, but he hadn’t minded. At all.
Seth raised an eyebrow at him. “You just came. I know you’re making up for lost time, but ...”
Erik flushed. “Not sex. I meant ... what do you want to do today?”
“Oh.” Seth shrugged. “I was thinking brunch downstairs, although we’ll have to hustle if we’re going to make it down there before they stop serving. We might have to shower together if we’re going to make it in time to get some food.”
Snowstorms and Second Chances Page 11