“How are you feeling?” I asked, trying to distract myself from the misery I endured.
“Well, I’d rather you recovered from this sooner than later. Severus is worried.”
They weren’t going to leave me and if we stayed we’d die. I had no choice but to trust them.
He almost carried me to the sledge and placed me carefully on the blankets Severus used to pad everything.
“I think we’ll have to tie you to the stretcher,” he said, a note of apology in his voice.
“I don’t care,” I muttered. My bones were bruised and lying on that bed already hurt, my skin felt like it was splitting. They ignored me and used another blanket to strap me onto the sloping surface. Sparrow twisted to watch what they were doing but stood with his usual patience. I was curled on my side, my legs too long for the stretcher. Sherriff spent a long time sniffing and snorting at me which actually managed to raise a smile. He’d grown used to being tied to Sparrow so to have me between them on the ground clearly struck him as very odd.
Galahad led Sparrow, and Severus looked after the other two horses. With gentle coaxing we were off and walking slowly through the tunnel network. The stretcher was desperately uncomfortable but I had no right to complain so bit back the moans of agony every time we hit an obstacle. On and on we trudged, for what felt like leagues in the dark subterranean network. Sometimes I fancied I heard voices and maybe saw lights in the distance but to be honest they could have been hallucinations or spirit fey playing games with us earthbound beings. Whatever was out there didn’t come near; perhaps being this close to the powerhouse of The Lady was enough to ensure these caves weren’t occupied by naughty spirits of water and darkness.
We rested, we walked, we rested, and then we walked some more. Galahad and Severus didn’t speak often and I didn’t have the energy. We rested, we walked. When we finally started to go upward I was confused by the change in angles and thought they’d done something to my stretcher. I couldn’t see from my place at the back of the group, which was the only safe place after Sherriff tried to stand on me twice, but the air began to smell different and I think light started to melt the darkness.
“Oh, that’s the most amazing sight I’ve ever seen,” Severus whispered near me.
“What?” I asked. He smiled and closed his eyes, holding his face to the weak northern sun. “Severus, what?” I asked again in irritation.
“Here, I’ll help,” Galahad said. He knelt beside me and began unlacing the ties. “Come on, it’s time you stretched your legs. We’re going to have to start moving faster now. I want you riding.”
The thought of standing filled my aching limbs with horror, never mind riding but I clamped my mouth shut as he hauled me upright. For the first time in days I stood and I wasn’t sick. My head spun slightly but that could have been starvation. We hadn’t eaten in days.
“There’s a village,” Severus said, pointing. Galahad turned me and I blinked, unused to the light. We had emerged at the edge of a wooded area. No sand, no wind, just gentle fields. The cave we’d come out of formed part of a large escarpment that held the plateau forming The Lady’s back yard, the cliff massive behind us.
The village lay not a league off and the small stone buildings looked like an unaccustomed luxury. “Food,” Severus said.
“Herbs for Holt,” Galahad said.
“Beer,” I decided.
The other two looked at me in horror. “What?” I asked. “I really want a beer, dark and heavy and smelling of hops.”
“You’ve been sick for days and now you want beer?” Severus said in disgust.
“At least he wants something. I thought he was going to die,” Galahad said.
“If he replaces one addiction with another he will die,” Severus muttered. “Because I’ll kill him.”
He turned back to the horses, all of whom cropped grass like they’d never seen it before, and began untangling the makeshift sledge. Galahad helped me up into my saddle and I clung on, feeling sick and dizzy again. The sweats were back but I tried to concentrate on remaining upright for a change.
We rode down toward the village and the small clutch of stone and wood buildings boasted a fine looking tavern. By the time we arrived I didn’t want a beer. I just wanted to die again, the waves of illness profoundly debilitating.
“Here,” Galahad said, reaching for me. “Let me help you down.”
I couldn’t speak, I just reached for his shoulders and he lifted me off the horse. I half collapsed against him and together we entered the inn. Severus was already negotiating a place for us to rest and for the horses. Galahad placed me carefully on a stool near the fireplace that crackled happily and I shivered.
“Your friend is sick, we don’t want no sickness,” the innkeeper said in Common.
“He’s not sick with something you can catch,” Galahad assured him.
The innkeeper grunted. “You keep him away from everyone.” The grumpy old bastard walked off.
Galahad helped me into the darkest corner of the inn and I sat down, my legs folded easily and I rested my head against the wall. The rough plaster was cool and I closed my eyes. I heard Galahad speaking to the innkeeper and Severus came to join me.
“Here, drink this,” he said. I opened my eyes and found a tankard of milk before me.
“Milk,” I said, my tone flat.
“Drink it, eat something and I’ll let you have ale,” Severus said.
I felt the muscles in my jaw bunch and my fists clench. “I don’t want milk.”
“I know that, Holt but I’m not sitting here and watching you drink ale when you haven’t eaten for days. You can either drink the milk or I can leave, it’s up to you,” Severus said.
“Leave me? You aren’t going to leave me,” I stated.
“Willing to bet your crown on that?” Severus shot back in return.
I stared into those eyes, the colours so vivid and subtly different; they were set with an expression of stubborn righteousness. My shoulders slumped. I picked up the milk; it was warm and smelt of goat. The first sip reminded me of being a child and drinking fresh goat’s milk from the small herd kept with the horses at the keep in Camelot. My nanny would give it to me while telling me stories of my heroic family line, the Pendragons and how they kept England safe. I couldn’t help but smile. I drank a little more and remembered my mother wiping my milk moustache off my face.
When I finished the tankard of milk I looked at Severus and tears stood proud in his eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Anything for you, my love,” I told him. I didn’t mention the stomach cramps which had begun. I wanted to vomit, but he was right, I had to eat and goat’s milk would be easier than anything else to digest.
Galahad sat down with us at last and took the tankard, checking the contents. “He drank it?”
“I didn’t give him any options,” Severus said, his hand on my thigh.
“Need food,” I said.
“It’s coming. We can stay for a few days. I’ve agreed to do some work for them while we are here to help pay for our lodging. It’ll give you a chance to recover,” Galahad said.
“Work?” I asked, surprised.
“Don’t give me that, I’ve learned to pull my weight since being with you. First the ships, then the guard duty, I do my share,” he said, smiling at me.
A wave of exhaustion hit me again and I leaned back against the wall. The quiet conversation of my companions drifted over my head and the patrons of the inn talked in sober tones about harvests. I knew in my heart we should move and keep moving. We had to avoid The Lady and reach The City before anything else happened.
“Holt, wake up, we have food coming,” Galahad said, shaking my shoulder slightly.
Soft crumbling white cheese with warm bread and finally some ale for me. A plate of cold meats also arrived and some fruit. We were blessed. I took my time and the others were patient, though they watched each mouthful, but I finally managed to eat some proper food. G
alahad then ordered stew for him and Severus, both of whom would have eaten one of our horses if we hadn’t needed them so badly.
I sat back and dozed some more, ignoring the digestive pain and tension in my guts while I grew used to processing something other than water.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“Holt, time to move,” Galahad murmured.
He woke me from a sleep which dragged on my heels even as we made our way up to bed. They let me into the room and I struggled to free myself of clothing while Severus and Galahad talked quietly about something. Before I was completely naked I dropped onto the low cot nearest to the window and fell into a deep sleep.
Instinct woke me. It couldn’t have been anything else and the urge to move forced me off the bed. Dawn just touched the sky to the east and I blinked to clear my eyes while I stared down the road. A large dust cloud was coming toward the inn at a pace which would kill horses if sustained for long enough.
I turned. Galahad and Severus were asleep on the same bed, the knight curled around the prostitute, they were so peaceful. I couldn’t help but wonder why I didn’t suffer seeing Severus in Galahad’s arms. Shouldn’t it hurt? Shouldn’t I worry about what Galahad would take from me?
“Time to wake up,” I called out. Nothing happened, they were exhausted. I knelt beside them and touched Galahad’s shoulder. His eyes opened with shock and I saw the confusion as he tried to understand where he was and with whom.
“Holt,” he said in relief. He looked at Severus, only now waking. “Sorry,” he said.
“Don’t be, I’m not,” I said and smiled to reassure him, touching his shorn hair. “But we have a problem.”
He rolled onto his back and stared at the low ceiling for a moment. I watched him gather himself together and he rose. “Show me.”
We moved to the window and crouched down to look through easily. I pointed. “You see the dust?”
“I see it. That’s a lot of dust moving quickly. It’s her, we have to move,” Galahad said. He returned to Severus and shook him awake, explaining the problem.
Severus yawned. “We are in no fit state to fight so yes, I guess we run.”
I felt the familiar tremors of withdrawal begin, my hands shaking and my long starved body protesting already. “If we run and we’re caught, we’re dead. I can’t fight without the weed. Not yet, and Galahad, you can’t do this alone.”
“We have no choice,” he said. “I’ll go and tack the horses, try and eat something, Holt, it will help.” Galahad dressed while he spoke and left still throwing on clothes and buckling his sword belt.
I stared at Severus. “I can’t do this,” I said. “I’m a mess. I can’t fight without the weed.”
“You’re going to have to and we are going to have to ride hard to escape that dust cloud,” Severus said. He packed our gear quickly and dressed without a hint of the fear I felt pouring through my weakened blood.
“Severus... You must have something...”
His head shot up from the saddle bags. “Are you serious? Are you asking me for bugleweed?” The anger in his eyes didn’t put me off.
“Severus, I need to help Galahad we can’t have done all this to lose him before we reach The City or Camelot,” I said, with perfectly reasonable logic.
My lover rose slowly from the floor and stepped closer. I frowned in confusion. We were in a rush. We didn’t have time for intimacy. Why was he coming closer? He should be worried about the enemy, he should be finding me the weed I was certain he must have stashed somewhere.
The slap rocked my world in more ways than one. I didn’t even see him move. “You fucking bastard,” Severus growled. His rage smothered me and I tried backing off but he came after me, fists clenched. “If you ever, ever, say anything like that again I will gut you. I will use Galahad to gut you. I will hurt you in ways you cannot imagine you miserable son of a bitch.”
“Severus...” I pleaded, my hands out to ward him off. In truth I could have broken his back over my knee but his rage was a weapon I’d never faced before.
“No, don’t, and don’t expect to share my bed or my life until you’ve proved to me you are truly penitent. I’m done with listening to you on this subject and I’m done helping you feed your habit. We have Galahad – you have no more excuses.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, instantly contrite. “I just thought –”
“No, you didn’t think, you never do and we are done until you really understand,” Severus said. He turned his back on me but not before I saw the tears gathering in his eyes.
“I am sorry,” I said quietly. We’d never had a fight and my previous lovers never lasted long enough to reach this stage. I didn’t know how to make this better.
“Get dressed,” he said, voice thick with desperate emotions.
I did, my fingers shaking so much the laces were almost impossible. How had I made this happen? How had I become such a mess? Why did I hurt Severus?
The set of his shoulders made me wary of broaching the subject once more so we walked from the room in silence and down the stairs. I carried my sword and saddlebags, the weight already hard for me to carry. We walked through the taproom, the door open thanks to Galahad and into the stable yard. All three horses were out of the stables and he’d almost finished tacking them up, his own horse being the last one.
He glanced at us. “Everything all right?”
“Fine,” Severus snapped.
Galahad looked at me and asked me a question with his expression. I ignored him and tied my bags to Sparrow’s saddle.
I heard Galahad try to talk to Severus once more but he was cut off abruptly. I felt tears press against my eyes, as I began to understand what I’d done wrong. I was a fool. He didn’t need to state the obvious, not now.
My addiction took the first opportunity presented to make itself known once more and I’d caved into the craving instantly, using Galahad as the excuse. Severus was right to be angry with me. I was angry with me – now.
“Can you ride fast?” Galahad asked me. He sat with ease on Sherriff while I struggled to find the strength to mount Sparrow. Self-loathing took a firm hold of me and I nodded, turned mute by my shame.
The three of us left the yard unhindered, checked the dust cloud to our left, and headed right, south west. The horses galloped out of the village and I clung on to Sparrow’s mane, keeping focus on Galahad’s strong back so I didn’t fall off.
There was one huge drawback to running. We’d all endured weeks, months of hardship, the horses included. They were thin, tired, stressed and overworked. Sparrow and Sherriff were trained to give their lives to us and they would if we asked but I knew we couldn’t watch them suffer such an agonising death.
“Galahad,” I called out without slowing the horse. “We can’t out run them. They’ll kill their horses to reach us.”
“We just need to find somewhere to hide,” he said.
“You really think we can hide from The Lady? She must know where we are or it would be like looking for the piece of hay in a bed of straw.”
He looked at me briefly. “What do you suggest?”
“You run with Severus. I’ll hold them off.”
He blinked once. “No.”
“Galahad –”
“No. End of compromise. If we fight, we fight together.”
“And if they kill me and take you alive?”
“I won’t let that happen,” he said. I’d never seen him look so grim. He’d rather cut his own throat than return to The Lady.
“Then we find good ground to use to fight,” I said.
He nodded and we raced over the ridge of a hill. I pulled Sparrow up, the other two following suit quickly. The horses were breathing hard, their necks and sides already sweating. I looked around us and saw the dust cloud approaching. We weren’t going to out run them.
“There’s a forest down there,” Severus said and pointed south.
“We’ll never reach it in time,” Galahad said.
“T
hen we fight,” I said. It took strength I wasn’t certain I had at the moment but my sword came free and my years of training began to take over. “Severus, start heading toward the woodland –”
“No.”
I looked at him. “What?”
“No. I am not leaving.” His hands were tight on his reins but his resolution was absolute.
“You can’t fight,” I pointed out.
“I can fight well enough. I’ll hold your backs.” His horse jibbed, manifesting a fear Severus fought to hide.
“Severus...” I felt the world shifting under Sparrow’s hooves. Everything I did was to keep Galahad and Severus safe and at every turn I failed. The way I was feeling today I’d fail again.
“No.” His stubborn glare defeated me. Having Galahad in our lives gave him a weapon to use against me and he made the most of it, and he now used the prince as I had to gain the upper hand over the bugleweed.
“Fine, then we fight here,” I said.
Galahad and I moved off the crest of the hill, taking up positions either side of the road. We both checked our equipment, the girths on the saddles, the positions of the various knives we carried, the heavy gambesons we wore to help act as our protection and the short mail shirts. So much weight. Too much weight. My hands sweated inside the heavy leather glove.
“You can do this,” Galahad said across the gulf separating us.
“I used to be able to do this,” I muttered.
“What were you and Severus fighting about this morning?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“Is it normal for you to argue?” he asked, still pushing.
“No.”
“Holt...”
“Just concentrate on keeping us alive because I’m not going to be any fucking use to you,” I growled.
The soldiers hunting us were coming up the hill quickly, the tattoo of the horses’ hooves loud in the still morning air. The world fell away and suddenly I was ready for this fight, for all fights.
There were twelve of them. Twelve men against two. Even on a good day those odds would have scared me.
Albion's Legacy (Sons Of Camelot Book 3) Page 7