by Joan Holub
“A few hours?” Hercules wailed.
“Do I need to remind you that this is your fault?” Zeus asked. “Come on. Let’s get moving.”
Ares knew the way, so they followed his lead. As they walked, he held his spear in his right hand, thrusting and waving it around. He spun around with it and accidentally poked Hercules in the back.
“Watch out!” Hercules cried. “You should be careful with that—Spear of Fear? Why do they call it that? It’s not scary-looking or anything.”
Ares pretended to attack the nearest tree with his spear as he answered. “If the person who is using the spear is afraid, the spear becomes a scaredy-spear and won’t hit its target,” he replied. “It wiggles and wobbles. That happened to me at first. But not anymore. I’m more confident now, and I want to show the Amazons that.”
“Well, it would never wobble for me,” Hercules boasted. “I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Except your cousin King Eurystheus,” Zeus said.
“Third cousin,” Hercules corrected him. “And I’m not afraid of him. I’m just trying to keep the peace, you know?”
“Mm-hmm,” Zeus said, but he wasn’t convinced. As soon as King Eurystheus had become angry with Hercules, the boy had come running to Mount Olympus for help. That doesn’t seem very brave to me, Zeus thought.
Ares practiced his spear moves all the way to the village. When they arrived, Zeus thought it looked very much like the many places in Greece they had visited. The farmers’ huts sat at the end of a big field of crops. Most of the huts had crude wood fences around them, to keep the goats from wandering off.
In the center of the cluster of huts was the village well, and the boys stopped there first to fill up their goatskin bags with water. An old man with white hair and a weathered face approached them.
“What brings you boys here to our village?” he asked.
Hercules puffed up his chest. “We’re not boys. We’re gods, and we demand some food!”
The man frowned, and Zeus quickly tried to smooth things over. “Sorry, sir. We’re not demanding anything,” he said. “And we’re not gods—I mean, Ares and I are gods, but Hercules is only a half god. Maybe.”
“I am!” Hercules protested.
The old man’s eyes narrowed. But then he spotted Bolt on Zeus’s belt, and his eyes got wide.
“You are Zeus! The mighty ruler of Mount Olympus!” he cried.
“Yes, I guess I am,” Zeus said.
The old man grabbed Zeus by the arm. “This is perfect. Come with me!”
“Awesome. We’re going to be treated to a feast!” Hercules guessed as he and Ares followed Zeus and the old man.
The man stopped in front of a fence surrounding one of the huts. On the other side of the fence, five curious goats stared at them.
“Hello, ladies. I hope you’re doing well,” Zeus said. He was always polite to goats.
On the goat side of the fence, a big man with a brown beard was spreading hay. The old man called over to him.
“Nicolas! Come here!”
The bearded man frowned. “What is it, Basil?”
“I have Zeus, the king of the gods, here to solve the argument for us!” Basil replied.
Zeus groaned softly. I left Mount Olympus so I wouldn’t have to solve any more silly problems, he thought. This isn’t fair!
“There is no argument,” Nicolas said. “There is no way I am paying for the fence. You put it up. It’s your fence.”
“But I put it up so that your goats wouldn’t be able to eat my flowers,” Basil replied. “So it’s only fair that you pay for it. Don’t you think so, Zeus?”
Both men stared at Zeus. He squirmed a little bit. He wasn’t very good at solving these kinds of problems. Usually Hera stepped in to help, but she wasn’t here.
“Well, I guess it’s not fair if Nicolas’s goats ate your flowers,” Zeus began slowly.
“Aha! See? The mighty Zeus agrees with me!” the old man cried.
Nicolas pounded his hand into his fist. “Is that so? Because Basil never even asked me before he paid Kristo to build that fence. I could have built it myself, for free.”
Zeus nodded. “Well, then, it doesn’t seem fair that—”
“Fair? Is it fair that his goats ate my beautiful flowers?” Basil yelled.
Zeus was starting to sweat. He could hear Hera’s voice in his head.
Make a decision, Thunderpants! You’re the king. They have to listen to you and like it!
Zeus thought about it. If he sided with Nicolas, Basil would be angry. If he sided with Basil, Nicolas might punch him. He took a deep breath.
“I, the mighty Zeus, have decided that—”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Smash! Crack! Crunch! Hercules pounded the fence with his fists and tore it into splinters. The goats took off and ran through the village.
“My fence!” Basil cried.
“My goats!” yelled Nicolas.
“Hercules, what did you do?” Zeus asked.
Hercules shrugged. “You couldn’t decide, so I took care of it. No fence, no problem, right?”
But now Basil had grabbed a pitchfork. He and Nicolas marched toward the boys.
“Um, guys, I think we definitely have a problem,” Ares said.
CHAPTER FOUR Baaaaaaaaa!
Run!” Zeus yelled.
“What do we need to run for?” Hercules asked. “I can handle these guys.”
Zeus faced him. “I haven’t been the king of the gods for that long, but even I know that it’s not a good idea for a god to go around beating up mortals. That’s what King Cronus did, and everyone hated him.”
Basil waved his pitchfork at them. “You kids better not be going anywhere,” Basil said. “You need to fix this fence!”
“Uh, sorry, we’re on an important mission,” Zeus said. “But, um, maybe you guys could build it together this time. You know, help each other.”
“But what about my goats?” Nicolas asked. “They ran away!”
Besides knowing bee language, Zeus knew goat language, too. He put his fingers between his lips and whistled. A few seconds later the sound of hoofs pounding into the dirt filled the air. Nicolas’s goats appeared and ran up to Zeus.
“Stick with Nicolas until the new fence gets built,” he told them. “And don’t eat Basil’s flowers!”
Baaaaaaaaaaa! the goats bleated.
“I don’t care how delicious they are,” Zeus said. “Just promise me.”
Baaaaaaaaaa, the goats replied, with less energy this time.
“Thanks,” Nicolas said. “But I still think you should fix our fence. Or at least your fence-pounding friend should.”
“Well, I think—” Hercules began, but Zeus grabbed him by the arm.
“We’ll fix it,” Zeus offered. He didn’t need Hera there to tell him it was the right thing to do.
He turned to the other boys. “Anybody know how to fix the fence?”
Ares nodded. “When I lived with the Titans, they made me fix everything.”
When Ares was a baby, a Titan named Iapetos had kidnapped him. Ares had grown up with two Titan parents and four enormous brothers. And even though they were bigger and stronger than Ares, they’d made him do all the work around the farm.
The boys now quickly got to work. Ares sent Zeus and Hercules to find pieces of wood, and they borrowed a saw from Nicolas. Ares and Zeus did most of the work, while Hercules complained.
“I’m hungry!”
“The sun is shining too hard!”
“This wood is full of splinters!”
They finished in about two hours.
“I think we’d better get out of here,” Zeus said. “Before Hercules destroys the rest of the village.”
“Now, that’s a mean thing to say,” Hercules said.
“Yeah, but it’s true,” Ares agreed.
Hercules looked up at the sky. “It’s going to get dark soon.”
“Then we need to hurry and make
camp,” Zeus said.
They walked in silence as the sun set, and found a good spot where they could camp close to a stream. Zeus and Ares gathered firewood while Hercules complained.
“Do we have to camp here? The ground is so hard. And there are bugs everywhere. I hate bugs,” he said.
“Trust me, it’s a good camping spot,” Zeus said. “Before we defeated Cronus, we camped all the time, so we’re basically experts. Right, Ares?”
“For sure,” Ares agreed. “We camped and we ran. Then we camped and we ran again. Then we camped and we ran some more.”
“You sure do like to run from things,” Hercules noted. “I think it’s way better to stay and fight. Pow! Bam! Crunch!” He slammed his fist into his palm.
“I understand,” Ares said. “I like fighting too. But I learned that sometimes it’s good to listen to Zeus. He always kept us safe. And he led us to defeat Cronus and the Titans!”
“I could have done it by myself!” Hercules bragged.
“Oh really?” Zeus asked.
“Yeah, really!” Hercules shot back.
Zeus grabbed Bolt.
“Hey, Zeus, maybe you should simmer down,” Ares told him.
Zeus pointed Bolt at the pile of sticks he and Ares had gathered. Sparks shot from the thunderbolt-shaped dagger, setting the kindling on fire.
“That’s a pretty cool power, Zeus,” Hercules said. “But my super strength is pretty cool too. Did you see me bash that fence back there? Pow! Crash! Crunch!”
“I saw you ruin everything, like you always do!” Zeus snapped.
A hurt look flashed across Hercules’s face. Without a word he stomped off into the woods.
Ares shook his head. “Wow, Zeus, you’re becoming just as hotheaded as I am, now that you’re in charge of everything. And I’m the god of war!”
“He’ll be back,” Zeus said. “He can’t survive out here without us. Once he smells dinner cooking, he’ll show up.”
Zeus opened up his pack and took out some bread and cheese. He used Bolt to slice some of the bread and then cut up the cheese. He put the cheese between two bread slices and poked a stick through it. Then he stuck it over the fire.
“That looks good,” Ares said. “Can I make one?”
“Sure,” Zeus replied. “Demeter showed me how to make this. She calls it Hot Handy Cheese. You take it away from the fire once the cheese melts and the bread gets golden.”
Ares fixed himself a Hot Handy Cheese, and a delicious smell wafted across the camp. But Hercules didn’t show up. The boys finished eating and washed up in the stream, but there was still no sign of Hercules.
“Do you think we should go look for him?” Ares asked.
Zeus yawned. “He’s probably embarrassed, and he’ll sneak back into camp when we’re asleep. You’ll see. He’ll be here when we wake up.”
Ares shrugged. “Whatever you say.”
The two boys made themselves as comfortable as they could with the blankets from their packs. They settled in next to the fire and closed their eyes.
Tired from the journey, Zeus fell asleep quickly. He slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep—and then something jolted him awake.
It was still dark out. Zeus tried to sit up, but he realized he couldn’t move his body. His arms were pinned to his sides.
“Ares! Are you there?” he called out.
“I’m right next to you,” Ares replied.
“I can’t move,” Zeus said.
“Neither can I,” Ares answered.
Thump! Thump! Thump! The sound of heavy footsteps registered in Zeus’s brain. Zeus turned his head—he could still move his neck—and tried to figure out what was happening. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw a giant fingernail near his face. He turned as far as he could and saw five huge fingers, clutching him and Ares.
“Ares, I think we’re in a giant hand,” Zeus said.
“I know,” Ares agreed. “That means…”
The two boys looked up—into the enormous face of a giant!
“Heeeeeeeeeeelp!” they yelled.
CHAPTER FIVE Pow! Bam! Crunch!
So my scrawny snacks are screamers, eh?” the giant huffed as he carried them through the woods. “Quiet down!”
“Let us go!” Zeus demanded, trying to make his voice sound tough. “I am Zeus, the ruler of the heavens, and the god of thunder!”
The giant frowned. “Zoos the what now?” he asked. “Alkyoneus is ruled by no one.”
Zeus sounded the name in his head. Al-kee-YO-nee-us. He hadn’t heard of a Titan with that name before.
“Alkyoneus is stronger than thunder,” the giant continued.
“ ‘Alkyoneus’ is your name?” Zeus asked.
“That’s me,” the giant replied.
“Are you a Titan?” Ares asked.
“Titan, Schmitan,” Alkyoneus said. “I don’t know any Titans. I only know me, Alkyoneus, and my seven lovely daughters: Sally, Solly, Sully, Smelly, Silly, Steely, and Snarly. And you will make a tasty treat for them when they come home in the morning.”
Zeus tried to reach for Bolt, but he couldn’t move his hands. He looked down and saw that the giant had wrapped him tightly with rope, pinning his arms to his sides and his legs together. Ares was tied up the same way.
“Zeus, I can’t reach my spear,” Ares hissed in a whisper.
“And I can’t reach Bolt,” Zeus whispered back. “I could command Bolt to become thunder, and maybe blast us out of these ropes.”
“Or maybe blast us to pieces,” Ares shot back. “Maybe we can escape when we get to his giant house, or whatever.”
Thump! Thump! Thump!
Zeus’s mind raced, hoping to come up with a plan before they reached the giant’s home. But seconds later the giant stopped.
“You scrawny snacks wait here while I get the cooking pot ready,” he said. “But no screaming! Or I’ll squash you.”
He opened the door to a cage hanging from a high tree branch. Then he dumped Zeus and Ares inside. Still tied up, they rolled around on the cage floor.
Alkyoneus slammed the cage door shut. Then he stomped away. Zeus rolled over so he could see where the giant was going. Alkyoneus entered a big straw hut that was just a bit taller than he was.
“Hmm,” the giant muttered to himself as he walked inside. “What would go good with these scrawny screamers? Some garlic, maybe?”
“We’ve got to get out of here,” Ares said, rolling around on the cage floor.
Zeus tried to sit up. “I know we do,” he said. “If we don’t find the Amazons and get the belt, King Eurystheus will declare war on Mount Olympus!”
“I was thinking more that I don’t want to get eaten,” Ares said.
Zeus frowned. “I just need to think. I know that asking Bolt to do a thunder blast is risky, but it might be our only chance.”
Ares looked down. “I don’t know, Zeus. We’re pretty high up here. If we go flying, it won’t be an easy landing.”
“But we’ve got to do something,” Zeus said.
Then he heard laughing down below. He scooted to the edge of the cage and looked down.
“What are you guys doing up there?” Hercules asked. “Is this some kind of game?”
“It’s not a game!” Zeus answered. “And lower your voice. There’s a big giant who captured us, and if he hears you—”
“Ooh, I’ve always wanted to fight a giant!” Hercules said. “Then everyone would call me Hercules the Giant Slayer. That’s a cool nickname, right?”
“Please don’t fight the giant,” Zeus begged. “Climb up the tree and untie us so we can get out of here.”
“Why should I help you?” Hercules asked. “You left camp without me. I came back, and you weren’t there, and I followed your trail here.”
“We were kidnapped!” Ares called out to him. “Do you think we tied ourselves up like this? The giant did it! Alkyoneus!”
“Oh right, the giant,” Hercules said. He turned to the giant’s
big hut and walked toward the door.
“Hercules, no!” Zeus yelled.
Hercules knocked on the door. “Hey, Giant Guy! Come out here and fight me! And then free my friends.”
Zeus and Ares looked at each other and groaned.
Alkyoneus opened the door and stepped out, scratching his head.
“Down here, you overgrown oaf!” Hercules yelled up at him.
The giant looked down. “Another screamer! But this one not so scrawny. Yum!”
He reached down to pick up Hercules. The boy started punching the giant’s ankle.
“Pow! Bam! Crunch! Take that!” he yelled.
The giant didn’t seem to feel Hercules’s punches. He picked up the boy.
“This one looks tasty,” Alkyoneus said. “More food to fill the tummies of my seven lovely girls.”
Hercules punched the giant’s knuckles. “Pow! Bam! Crunch!”
Zeus sighed. “We’re doomed.”
“Do you think it hurts to be eaten?” Ares asked.
Suddenly a loud cry filled the air.
“Eeeeeeeeeeeyayayayayayayayayayaya!”
A small army of girls burst out of the forest and charged at Alkyoneus.
“It’s the Amazons!” Zeus cried.
CHAPTER SIX Girls to the Rescue
The girls moved like a well-organized pack, quickly surrounding the giant. Each girl wore her long hair in a braid down her back, and each one held a long, metal-tipped spear. Instead of togas or robes, they wore short dresses made of leather, and leather boots.
Zeus quickly counted them in his head. There must be thirty of them! he thought.
“Not you annoying Amazons again!” Alkyoneus growled. “I can’t catch you. I can’t snack on you. What good are you?”
Two of the girls hurled their spears at the hand holding Hercules.
“Ow!” the giant yelled.
He opened his hand, and Hercules tumbled to the ground. One of the Amazons helped him up—and then tossed him outside the circle of warriors.