by abbé Prévost
VII
. . . How chances mock, And changes fill the cup of alteration With divers liquors. SHAKESPEARE.
"How inscrutably does Providence connect events! We had hardlyproceeded for five minutes on our way, when a man, whose face I couldnot see, recognised Lescaut. He had no doubt been watching for himnear his home, with the horrible intention which he now unhappilyexecuted. 'It IS Lescaut!' said he, snapping a pistol at his head; 'heshall sup tonight with the angels!' He then instantly disappeared.Lescaut fell, without the least sign of life. I pressed Manon to fly,for we could be of no use to a dead man, and I feared being arrested bythe police, who would certainly be soon upon the spot. I turned downthe first narrow street with her and the servant: she was sooverpowered by the scene she had just witnessed, that I could hardlysupport her. At last, at the end of the street, I perceived ahackney-coach; we got into it, but when the coachman asked whither heshould drive, I was scarcely able to answer him. I had no certainasylum--no confidential friend to whom I could have recourse. I wasalmost destitute of money, having but one dollar left in my purse.Fright and fatigue had so unnerved Manon, that she was almost faintingat my side. My imagination too was full of the murder of Lescaut, andI was not without strong apprehensions of the patrol. What was to bedone? I luckily remembered the inn at Chaillot, where we first went toreside in that village. I hoped to be not only secure, but to continuethere for some time without being pressed for payment. 'Take us toChaillot,' said I to the coachman. He refused to drive us so far atthat late hour for less than twelve francs. A new embarrassment! Atlast we agreed for half that sum--all that my purse contained.
"I tried to console Manon as we went along, but despair was rankling inmy own heart. I should have destroyed myself a thousand times over, ifI had not felt that I held in my arms all that could attach me to life:this reflection reconciled me. 'I possess her at least,' said I; 'sheloves me! she is mine! Vainly does Tiberge call this a mere phantom ofhappiness.' I could, without feeling interest or emotion, see thewhole world besides perish around me. Why? Because I have in it noobject of affection beyond her.
"This sentiment was true; however, while I so lightly esteemed the goodthings of the world, I felt that there was no doing without some littleportion of them, were it only to inspire a more thorough contempt forthe remainder. Love is more powerful than wealth--more attractive thangrandeur or fame; but, alas! it cannot exist without certain artificialaids; and there is nothing more humiliating to the feelings, of asensitive lover, than to find himself, by want of means, reduced to thelevel of the most vulgar minds.
"It was eleven o'clock when we arrived at Chaillot. They received usat the inn as old acquaintances, and expressed no sort of surprise atseeing Manon in male attire, for it was the custom in Paris and theenvirons to adopt all disguises. I took care to have her served withas much attention as if I had been in prosperous circumstances. Shewas ignorant of my poverty, and I carefully kept her so, being resolvedto return alone the following day to Paris, to seek some cure for thisvexatious kind of malady.
"At supper she appeared pale and thin; I had not observed this at theHospital, as the room in which I saw her was badly lighted. I askedher if the excessive paleness were not caused by the shock ofwitnessing her brother's death? She assured me that, horrified as shenaturally was at the event, her paleness was purely the effect of athree months' absence from me. 'You do love me then devotedly?' Iexclaimed.
"'A thousand times more than I can tell!' was her reply.
"'You will never leave me again?' I added.
"'No! never, never!' answered she.
"This assurance was confirmed by so many caresses and vows, that itappeared impossible she could, to the end of time, forget them. I havenever doubted that she was at that moment sincere. What motive couldshe have had for dissembling to such a degree? But she becameafterwards still more volatile than ever, or rather she was no longeranything, and entirely forgot herself, when, in poverty and want, shesaw other women living in abundance. I was now on the point ofreceiving a new proof of her inconstancy, which threw all that hadpassed into the shade, and which led to the strangest adventure thatever happened to a man of my birth and prospects.
"As I knew her disposition, I hastened the next day to Paris. The deathof her brother, and the necessity of getting linen and clothes for her,were such good reasons, that I had no occasion for any further pretext.I left the inn, with the intention, as I told Manon and the landlord,of going in a hired carriage, but this was a mere flourish; necessityobliged me to travel on foot: I walked very fast as far asCours-la-Reine, where I intended to rest. A moment of solitude andtranquillity was requisite to compose myself, and to consider what wasto be done in Paris.
"I sat down upon the grass. I plunged into a sea of thoughts andconsiderations, which at length resolved themselves into threeprincipal heads. I had pressing want of an infinite number of absolutenecessaries; I had to seek some mode of at least raising a hope for thefuture; and, though last, not least in importance, I had to gaininformation, and adopt measures, to secure Manon's safety and my own.After having exhausted myself in devising projects upon these threechief points, I was obliged to put out of view for the moment the twolast. We were not ill sheltered from observation in the inn atChaillot; and as to future wants, I thought it would be time enough tothink about them when those of the moment were satisfied.
"The main object now was to replenish my purse. M. de T---- had onceoffered me his, but I had an extreme repugnance to mention the subjectto him again. What a degradation to expose one's misery to a stranger,and to ask for charity: it must be either a man of low mind who wouldthus demean himself, and that from a baseness which must render himinsensible to the degradation, or a humble Christian, from aconsciousness of generosity in himself, which must put him above thesense of shame. I would have sacrificed half my life to be spared thehumiliation.
"'Tiberge,' said I, 'kind Tiberge, will he refuse me what he has it inhis power to grant? No, he will assuredly sympathise in my misery; buthe will also torture me with his lectures! One must endure hisreproaches, his exhortations, his threats: I shall have to purchase hisassistance so dearly, that I would rather make any sacrifice thanencounter this distressing scene, which cannot fail to leave me full ofsorrow and remorse. Well,' thought I again, 'all hope must berelinquished, since no other course presents itself: so far am I fromadopting either of these, that I would sooner shed half my blood thanface one of these evils, or the last drop rather than encounter both.Yes, the very last drop,' I repeated after a moment's reflection, 'Iwould sacrifice willingly rather than submit to such base supplication!
"'But it is not in reality a question of my existence! Manon's lifeand maintenance, her love and her fidelity, are at stake! Whatconsideration can outweigh that? In her are centred all my glory,happiness, and future fortune! There are doubtless many things that Iwould gladly give up my life to obtain, or to avoid; but to estimate athing merely beyond the value of my own life, is not putting it on apar with that of Manon.' This idea soon decided me: I went on my way,resolved to go first to Tiberge, and afterwards to M. de T----.
"On entering Paris I took a hackney-coach, though I had not wherewithalto pay for it; I calculated on the loan I was going to solicit. Idrove to the Luxembourg, whence I sent word to Tiberge that I waswaiting for him. I had not to stay many minutes. I told him withouthesitation the extremity of my wants. He asked if the fifty poundswhich I had returned to him would suffice, and he at once went to fetchit with that generous air, that pleasure in bestowing which 'blessethhim that gives, and him that takes,' and which can only be known tolove or to true friendship.
"Although I had never entertained a doubt of Tiberge's readiness togrant my request, yet I was surprised at having obtained it on sucheasy terms, that is to say, without a word of reprimand for myimpenitence; but I was premature in fancying myself safe from hisreproaches, for when he had counted out the money, and I was on
thepoint of going away, he begged of me to take a walk with him in thegarden. I had not mentioned Manon's name; he knew nothing of herescape; so that his lecture was merely upon my own rash flight from St.Lazare, and upon his apprehensions lest, instead of profiting by thelessons of morality which I had received there, I should again relapseinto dissipation.
"He told me, that having gone to pay me a visit at St. Lazare, the dayafter my escape, he had been astonished beyond expression at hearingthe mode in which I had effected it; that he had afterwards aconversation with the Superior; that the good Father had not quiterecovered the shock; that he had, however, the generosity to concealthe real circumstances from the lieutenant-general of police, and thathe had prevented the death of the porter from becoming known outsidethe walls; that I had, therefore, upon that score, no ground for alarm,but that, if I retained one grain of prudence, I should profit by thishappy turn which Providence had given to my affairs, and begin bywriting to my father, and reconciling myself to his favour; and finallythat, if I would be guided by his advice, I should at once quit Paris,and return to the bosom of my family.
"I listened to him attentively till he had finished. There was much inwhat he said to gratify me. In the first place, I was delighted tolearn that I had nothing to fear on account of St. Lazare--the streetsof Paris at least were again open to me. Then I rejoiced to find thatTiberge had no suspicion of Manon's escape, and her return to my arms.I even remarked that he had not mentioned her name, probably from theidea that, by my seeming indifference to her, she had become less dearto my heart. I resolved, if not to return home, at least to write tomy father, as he advised me, and to assure him that I was disposed toreturn to my duty, and consult his wishes. My intention was to urgehim to send me money for the purpose of pursuing my ordinary studies atthe University, for I should have found it difficult to persuade himthat I had any inclination to resume my ecclesiastical habit. I was intruth not at all averse to what I was now going to promise him. On thecontrary, I was ready to apply myself to some creditable and rationalpursuit, so far as the occupation would be compatible with my love. Ireckoned upon being able to live with my mistress, and at the same timecontinuing my studies. I saw no inconsistency in this plan.
"These thoughts were so satisfactory to my mind, that I promisedTiberge to dispatch a letter by that day's post to my father: in fact,on leaving him, I went into a scrivener's, and wrote in such asubmissive and dutiful tone, that, on reading over my own letter, Ianticipated the triumph I was going to achieve over my father's heart.
"Although I had money enough to pay for a hackney-coach after myinterview with Tiberge, I felt a pleasure in walking independentlythrough the streets to M. de T----'s house. There was great comfort inthis unaccustomed exercise of my liberty, as to which my friend hadassured me I had nothing now to apprehend. However, it suddenlyoccurred to me, that he had been only referring to St. Lazare, and thatI had the other affair of the Hospital on my hands; being implicated,if not as an accomplice, at all events as a witness. This thoughtalarmed me so much, that I slipped down the first narrow street, andcalled a coach. I went at once to M. de T----'s, and he laughed at myapprehensions. I myself thought them ridiculous enough, when heinformed me that there was no more danger from Lescaut's affray, thanfrom the Hospital adventure. He told me that, from the fear of theirsuspecting that he had a hand in Manon's escape, he had gone thatmorning to the Hospital and asked to see her, pretending not to knowanything of what had happened; that they were so far from entertainingthe least suspicion of either of us, that they lost no time in relatingthe adventure as a piece of news to him; and that they wondered how sopretty a girl as Manon Lescaut could have thought of eloping with aservant: that he replied with seeming indifference, that it by no meansastonished him, for people would do anything for the sake of liberty.
"He continued to tell me how he then went to Lescaut's apartments, inthe hope of finding me there with my dear mistress; that the master ofthe house, who was a coachmaker, protested he had seen neither me norManon; but that it was no wonder that we had not appeared there, if ourobject was to see Lescaut, for that we must have doubtless heard of hishaving been assassinated about the very same time; upon which, herelated all that he knew of the cause and circumstances of the murder.
"About two hours previously, a guardsman of Lescaut's acquaintance hadcome to see him, and proposed play. Lescaut had such a rapid andextravagant run of luck, that in an hour the young man was minus twelvehundred francs--all the money he had. Finding himself without a sou, hebegged of Lescaut to lend him half the sum he had lost; and there beingsome difficulty on this point, an angry quarrel arose between them.Lescaut had refused to give him the required satisfaction, and theother swore, on quitting him, that he would take his life; a threatwhich he carried into execution the same night. M. de T---- was kindenough to add, that he had felt the utmost anxiety on our account, andthat, such as they were, he should gladly continue to us his services.I at once told him the place of our retreat. He begged of me to allowhim to sup with us.
"As I had nothing more to do than to procure the linen and clothes forManon, I told him that we might start almost immediately, if he wouldbe so good as to wait for me a moment while I went into one or twoshops. I know not whether he suspected that I made this propositionwith the view of calling his generosity into play, or whether it was bythe mere impulse of a kind heart; but, having consented to startimmediately, he took me to a shopkeeper, who had lately furnished hishouse. He there made me select several articles of a much higher pricethan I had proposed to myself; and when I was about paying the bill, hedesired the man not to take a sou from me. This he did so gracefully,that I felt no shame in accepting his present. We then took the roadto Chaillot together, where I arrived much more easy in mind than whenI had left it that morning.
"My return and the polite attentions of M. de T---- dispelled allManon's melancholy. 'Let us forget our past annoyances, my dear soul,'said I to her, 'and endeavour to live a still happier life than before.After all, there are worse masters than love: fate cannot subject us toas much sorrow as love enables us to taste of happiness.' Our supperwas a true scene of joy.
"In possession of Manon and of twelve hundred and fifty francs, I wasprouder and more contented than the richest voluptuary of Paris withuntold treasures. Wealth should be measured by the means it affords usof satisfying our desires. There did not remain to me at this moment asingle wish unaccomplished. Even the future gave me little concern. Ifelt a hope, amounting almost to certainty, that my father would allowme the means of living respectably in Paris, because I had becomeentitled, on entering upon my twentieth year, to a share of my mother'sfortune. I did not conceal from Manon what was the extent of mypresent wealth; but I added, that it might suffice to support us untilour fortune was bettered, either by the inheritance I have just alludedto, or by the resources of the hazard-table."