by Zack Archer
I dangled from the craft, watching the ground whip past.
Aurora heaved me back into the sled and left the controls for a moment. She pulled me up and grasped my hand.
We turned as one to confront the Barrister, who was sailing toward us, gavel raised above his head. He was ready to bring the fucking thing down like Thor, and that’s when we did it.
We summoned a powerful ball of plasma, the largest I’d ever seen, and propelled it back at him.
There was a great clap of thunder and a flash of light, the kind of thing I imagine you might see during the birth of a star.
I squeezed my eyes shut and when I looked back, the Barrister was no more.
In his place was a black, smoking hole.
And a pair of boots that were on fire.
“WE DID IT!” I shouted. “WE BEAT THE SONOFABITCH!”
Aurora’s expression was inscrutable as she regained control over the wave sled and brought it around in a circle until we were hovering over the area where the Barrister had been vaporized.
I leaned over the edge and spotted it lying down in the hole beside the smoking boots.
The Barrister’s gavel.
It was blackened and glowed white, but appeared to otherwise be intact.
“Did you see that?!” I shouted, slapping my hand against the side of the wave sled. “We took that bastard out!”
Aurora nodded, but there was no emotion in her face. Then she leaned over and grabbed me by the waist and did something most unexpected.
She kissed me long and hard.
The touch of her lips jolted my body and my hands wrapped around her tight frame. We kissed again and I reached down and squeezed her ass which seemed kind of inappropriate given the circumstances, but hey, we were both caught up in the moment.
Then she pulled back, but rested her head against mine, breathing hard, her eyes closed as if she was deep in contemplation. “She…she had the same blood, Quincy,” she whispered.
“What?”
“Big Dread, Enya, for that was her real name.”
“I guess…I don’t understand.”
She laughed bitterly. “She had the blood of Greylock because we share the same blood.”
“Okay, now I’m totally confused,” I said.
“She’s my half-sister, Quincy.”
I gasped. “Jesus…so that means…Jesus.”
“Her mother was a whore,” Aurora said. “She knew my father and he rejected Enya when she was born. She never forgave him for that.”
“But…he put her in jail,” I said.
“I helped him.”
“His own daughter…”
“A bastard child.”
Now it all made sense, the reason why it had been so personal for Aurora. Her half-sister, a sibling she probably didn’t even recognize, had helped do what? Murder her own father.
My eyes swung over to the trap bottle. Aurora took the bottle up in her hands. “Now you know why I have to do it.”
“Do what?” I asked.
“I have to use this to eradicate them once and for all. I have to kill all of the villains and the traitorous Elementals that helped them, including the Harbinger. I have to do this to avenge my father, to make sure they are never powerful enough to threaten what we’ve built.”
“But that wasn’t part of the plan,” I said.
“It was always part of my plan,” Aurora said somberly.
I saw raw emotion in her eyes and it was hard not to feel empathy for her. Her old man had been murdered by a bunch of villains led by her half-sister, which was a pretty fucked-up situation. Still, I realized I’d been used after all.
I’d been played.
Aurora only brought me along because she needed my help to get the Light Breaker
“But what about the others?” I asked. “We could go back and get them and all of us could—”
She stifled me with a look. “They would never permit it. This is something only I can do.”
“Why the hell did you even bring me here then?” I asked.
“Because you served a purpose, Quincy.”
“You thought I’d help you? That I’d be what? Your bitch?”
“Call it what you will. You were the missing link, the only one who could help me get the Light Breaker.”
“There has to be more to it than that,” I said. I took her wrist in my hand. “There’s something between us. Don’t act like you don’t feel it cause I sure as hell do, especially after we just locked lips.”
“You don’t know who I am.”
“I think I’ve got a pretty good idea,” I replied. “I mean, there’s no question you’ve got a little thing for me, right? Seeing that I’m a hero and helped save the universe and all.”
I smiled and reached for the trap bottle, but Aurora shoved me back. “I’m sorry, Quincy,” she said. “Forgive me.” And then she raised her hand and blasted me with a pulse of energy that slammed into my chest, knocking me off the wave sled.
I spun through the air, turning over, watching the ground come up fast—
WHOMPH!
I crashed into the pumice and tasted the bitter grit on my tongue.
Pushing myself up, I watched Aurora vanish out over the Empty Quarter, blistering across the vast plain, headed back up to finish what she’d started.
I stood there silently for a moment, wiping the grime from my face.
It had been about twelve hours since I’d left the Earth and there I was, all by my lonesome at the bottom of another planet, the fate of the universe on the line.
I could’ve run after Aurora, but I wouldn’t have been able to catch up to her, and besides, I had more pressing concerns.
Like the Morningstars.
The bad guys were on the way.
Thankfully, Atlas and the other Shadow Catchers were visible too, forming a circle around me.
Nobody said a word at first.
They all realized what had happened.
“She did it, didn’t she?” Splinter asked. “She double-crossed us.”
I nodded.
“She’s going back to avenge her father,” Liberty said.
“Blood will have blood,” Atlas whispered.
“Speaking of that,” I said, gesturing at the Morningstars who were closing on us fast.
The others spread out, adopting defensive crouches, and then Splinter began laughing.
So did Kaptain Khaos and then the rest of us.
We knew we were out of quarters and the game was almost up.
We had absolutely nothing to lose, and if the bad guys wanted to take us on, there was no way in hell we were going down without a fight. Turning, we caught sight of the villains heading toward us with their minions.
“We could all die out here,” I said softly.
“Sure could,” Splinter said, cracking his neck side to side. “But if we’re going out, we’re taking them down with us.”
Kaptain Khaos gritted his teeth. “Besides, it’s better to live one day as a lion than a thousand as a lamb.”
“That doesn’t make any sense at all,” I replied.
The Kaptain grinned. “Yeah, but it sounds cool as shit, don’t it?”
We paused, and then Atlas pumped a fist, and we charged at the villains.
The End Of Book 1
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Author Notes
A Marvel Universe-type story reimaging by Cinemax (or maybe Vivid Entertainment).
Yep, that was my first thought when I was coming up with Fiasco Heights. I know it’s not much, but it got me focusing on the journey of a reluctant hero who’s whisked away to a pleasure planet dominated by superheroes and villains. I thought the idea was a solid one and so I “soft-pitched” (don’t you just love Hollywood BS jargon) it to several producers a year and a half ago. They loved the story and the characters, but the idea was simply too big (and too expensive) to t
ake a chance on, and besides, none of them had any idea what the hell a harem was or how to make it work in a superhero movie.
So, I kept the idea in my back pocket, but even as I was working on other projects, I kept coming back to it. I noodled on the story for the next eight months, trying to come up with unique, cool names for the superheroes and villains, while developing a backstory for the world that our hero, Quincy (originally he was called “Gideon” but I think Quincy works better), is taken to after accidentally killing one of the universe’s worst bad guys (in a tip of the hat to the great old western movie, “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance”).
Satisfied that things were working, I threw caution to the wind and just started writing while also reading/re-reading a number of excellent indie harem books by authors like Michael Scott Earle, J.A. Cipriano, William D. Arand, Jamie Hawke, Harmon Cooper, and many others. I focused initially on the characters, working to make Quincy likable and also a bit of an underdog, but willing to take part in the action and pleasure once he reached Fiasco Heights. What I didn’t want is a main character who simply moped around or watched all of the interesting stuff taking place while never engaging in any of it. Of course, I needed a posse of lovely ladies, but I did my best to make them well-rounded, strong women, the kind that can take names and kick ass on their own, rather than bimbos or one-dimensional characters whose purpose is to service the men in the story. Once the characters were in place, I worked day and night to come up with set-pieces, big action scenes, that would drive the story forward and keep you (loyal reader) from falling asleep and tuning out. I hope I succeeded because I did my damnedest to make sure it was a roller-coaster ride from start to finish.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed Book 1 and I’m feverishly typing away at Book 2, which I hope to have out in the next month or two. Thank you for reading the book, for without loyal readers like you, where the hell would the indie authors be? Thanks again!
Part II
Fiasco Heights Book 2
By Zack Archer
42
Who knew it would be so difficult to kill supervillains?
Okay, so you probably knew and so did a lot of other people, but having done it several times, I can honestly say that it’s more difficult than I’d first imagined. And it’s not just that the villains themselves are so tough to bring down physically. There’s a psychological aspect to it as well.
If you ever heard the old saying that blowing out another’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter, you know what I mean. Splinter, one of the superheroes in the Shadow Catchers, says it’s because heroes and villains still possess a little of the bythos, the energy of Creation, so once they’re gone the universe seems a little dimmer.
I don’t know if that’s true, but as I stood in the Empty Quarter, waiting to face off against Big Dread, Madcap, The Showstopper, Dolly Dagger, and the other nameless gang members, I noticed that after dispatching The Barrister and two other supervillains, sounds were a little more muted and colors less vibrant. To make matters worse, I was gassed and running on empty, my body cramping and my mind spent. Of course the bad guys didn’t give a damn about any of that. They just wanted to spill our blood.
Crabbing back across the Empty Quarter, I flicked looks left to right, nodding at the other Shadow Catchers: Atlas, Splinter, Kaptain Khaos, and my two ladies, Liberty and Lyric. All of us were getting ready for an epic throwdown.
“Anybody got any last words?” Splinter asked.
“It’s been nice knowing you guys,” the Kaptain said.
Nervous looks were shared and then Liberty glanced at me. “We need something to surprise them with.”
A lightbulb went off in my head.
The Barrister’s gavel!
The others conferred as I loped a short distance away from them before sliding to my knees at the edge of the hole where Aurora, before her betrayal, had helped me bring down the villainous assassin known as The Barrister.
I dropped down over the edge, sifted through the sand and grit, and grabbed The Barrister’s gavel.
The metal weapon weighed eight or nine pounds, but fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. It was cool to the touch and vibrated ever so slightly.
Retracing my steps, I rejoined the others. They shot admiring glances at the weapon.
“Can you make that thing work?” Splinter asked.
“We’re gonna find out soon,” I replied.
I concentrated on the strange runes filigreed on the gavel, and the weapon began vibrating violently. Little wisps of blue light curled at the edges of the gavel’s head, moving inward. Suddenly, the entire gavel was encased in a funnel of blue light, hissing like a snake.
The timing couldn’t have been better, because the air out in front of us filled with what looked like fireworks: smoke-trails following rockets and balls of plasma that arced up and then came down with a keening whine.
The villains known as the Morningstars were on the way, eager to finish us off.
The ground shuddered as the explosives landed all around us.
We took up defensive positions then I covered my head and ran forward as debris bombarded me, the explosions cratering the pumice, creating small fires that swept across the Empty Quarter.
Jets of black smoke and banners of fine particulate obscured visibility, but I witnessed forms toiling in the murk.
The Morningstars were close, fanning out, ready to attack.
I summoned up a ball of energy in my left palm, keeping the gavel ready in my right hand, expecting hell and ready for anything, and that’s when he appeared.
Madcap.
The perfectly-proportioned supervillain was striding toward me, cutting through the smoke and haze.
He was screaming something I couldn’t make out while creating a funnel of dark energy that was blacker than molasses. He fashioned it into two objects that resembled an enormous bow and an even bigger arrow.
Before I could react, he pulled back a string on the bow and let fly a black arrow.
I brought my hand up as the arrow streaked forward.
The plasma ball burst apart but miraculously deflected the arrow at the last second. I slunk back, stunned by the blow.
Madcap wasted no time firing another arrow, and this time I swung the gavel, shattering the black shaft mid-air like it was made of glass.
“I’VE GOT HIS GAVEL NOW!” I screamed at Madcap, waving it.
The same smug smile was splashed across Madcap’s face, but I could see something else hidden behind it. A look of bafflement that I was in possession of the gavel, the hitman’s weapon of choice.
“Where’s The Barrister?” he shouted.
“He had an accident!”
“What kind?”
“The kind where I turned him into cat litter!”
Madcap shrieked, planted his feet, and vaulted straight at me with the speed of a cruise missile, lodging his head in my chest before I could bring the gavel around.
The blow sent me flying back through the air.
My body turned over and I face-planted in the pumice then skidded to a stop, grit packed up both of my nostrils. I sneezed and coughed, my eyes watering. I groped around, realizing I’d lost my grip on the gavel.
Levering myself up, I saw that it lay directly between Madcap and me.
“IT’S MINE NOW!” Madcap howled.
He lowered his shoulder and ran.
So did I.
I ran as hard as I could, harnessing the power in my energized MEM boots, but Madcap was faster.
Seconds before Madcap reached the gavel, I did the only thing I could think to do.
I fired a pulse of plasma that struck the gavel and caused it to slide away—
Directly between Madcap’s legs.
The gavel bounced across the hardpacked earth like a lacrosse ball.
Madcap, who was still chugging forward like a locomotive, couldn’t stop his momentum.
He tried to pull up, but I was already on him.
I hopped forward and planted my hands on his broad shoulders, using him as a springboard to leapfrog past.
Jetting forward, I hit the ground eight feet behind Madcap, then somersaulted and grabbed up the gavel, wheeling around as he turned to face me.
Something flickered in the villain’s eyes.
Fear.
A look of real fear for the first time.
Madcap’s eyes danced between me and the gavel, and before he could get off another shot with his black magic bow and arrow, I pitched the gavel at him.
The hammer struck Madcap in the chest.
There was a flash of light and then Madcap’s feet left the ground as if he’d been pulled back by an invisible string.
His cape was torn away from his body, which looked irreversibly broken, flapping eighty or ninety feet back through the air before crashing to the ground where he rolled over and laid motionless.
I waited with bated breath, but he didn’t move.
I’d done it. I’d killed the bastard.
I didn’t have time to rejoice, however, because the gavel was flying back toward me like a boomerang at a hundred miles per hour!
I put up both hands to stop the fucking thing, and it smacked into my right palm with sufficient force to flip me over.
Lying on the ground for a few seconds, I struggled to catch my breath, listening to the sounds of the fighting that raged all around me.
The ground rattled as Big Dread hovered over everything, twenty yards away, strafing the others with a thundering procession of energy balls.
Over and over she hurled the orange balls down at us. I watched Splinter and Kaptain Khaos deftly maneuver between the resulting explosions, barely avoiding being set alight.
I rejoined the fighting, linking up with Liberty and Lyric who were facing off against a small herd of Fodder, the general purpose goons who fought in the service of the Morningstars.
I could see more Fodder streaming across the Empty Quarter, reinforcements from the upper levels of Fiasco Heights. All of them sported body armor and were carrying weapons of various shapes and sizes. Having defeated Madcap I was emboldened, striding between the ladies, flashing the gavel, ready to confront the bad guys.