"Why don't you go get dressed, bro? I'll take care of Zoey." Brody held out his arm. "Let's go drink, Ms. Wilson. You can give me the inside scoop on the Stockton youth so I can ruthlessly manipulate them into doing what I want."
Zoey grinned and ducked out from under Ryder's arm so she could slide her hand through Brody's elbow. "Sounds good. I have lots of stories."
"I bet you do." Brody winked at Ryder as he led her away, and Zoey couldn’t help but look back at Ryder.
He was standing there with his hands on his hips, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he watched them walk away.
Her heart fluttered. She knew that look. Ryder was planning something. But what?
Chapter Thirteen
"In love, huh?" Brody nudged him.
Ryder didn't look up from the plans that were spread over Chase's dining room table, ignoring the man who had become family when Hannah had married a Stockton. "I was twelve. She was six. I was from hell. She was sunshine." He was not interested in getting Brody and Chase involved in his situation with Zoey
Once Dane found out he was pursuing her, he risked forever severing his relationship with Dane…and Jaimi. Since the Stocktons had learned about Jaimi only a year ago, he had a lifetime to make up for in getting to know his sister.
Was Ryder willing to risk all of that, his best friend and his sister, to make Zoey his?
The answer had seemed obvious last night.
It had seemed even more obvious when he'd walked out of his room this morning and seen Brody checking out Zoey.
Now? It had taken only driving by Dane and Jaimi's house on the way to this meeting to remind him of what he stood to lose. Family. His sister. His best friend. Potentially driving a wedge between Dane and his entire family.
The cost of pursuing Zoey romantically had loomed large and ugly.
"That's love," Brody said. "In love is different. This morning, you said she was the love of your life. That sounds like in love to me."
"What are you guys talking about?" Chase looked up from the plans.
Brody grinned. "Ryder. He said he's been in love with Zoey since she was six."
"Oh, that. Yeah, he has." Chase grinned. "He used to sleep on her floor every night. He couldn't sleep if he wasn't near her."
"Really?" Brody raised his brows. "That's adorable."
"She was in a dangerous situation. What else was I going to do? She was my best friend's little sister." Dane had stood by him so many times over the years. Was he really willing to betray him? Shit.
"What about now?" Chase challenged.
"She's a friend in need." He pointed to the lower right quadrant of the designs, trying to get their attention off of him and Zoey. He was on edge, big time. What the hell was he going to do? There was something burning inside him, a need for her that was so visceral that he could barely contain it. And at the same time…he'd learned his lessons about what mattered in life. Family. "I'm still not sure about the indoor arena. I feel like we need two smaller ones, instead of one big one. It gives us more flexibility."
Chase ignored him. "How is it going with her?"
"Fine. We had a good talk last night." Ryder tapped the plans again. "I think having some sleeping quarters above the barn makes sense. We need more than that bunkhouse on Chase's property, with all the Harts coming in, along with Logan and Quintin." Logan and Quintin were the only two Stocktons who hadn't moved back to town.
"And Caleb," Chase said. "He'll be back."
Caleb, who no one had heard from in almost nine years now. No one even knew where he lived…or even if he was still alive. "Maybe." Ryder was beginning to doubt it.
"Your family's bonds are strong," Brody said. "Those don't die. If he's alive, he'll be back."
Ryder glanced at Brody. The man had a dark side to him that every Stockton could recognize, because they all had it, too. But Brody was intensely loyal to his family, and that was a trait that every Stockton valued. The Hart family loyalty was what had created that bond between them and the Stocktons. The Stocktons had survived hell because they had each other's backs. Brody was the same with his family. Ryder and his brothers trusted no one except Dane…until the Harts.
Ryder had met all the Harts at Hannah and Maddox's wedding, but he didn't know most of them well. He knew Brody was solid, though, as were Keegan, Lucas, and Jacob. Those four? He trusted. The others he didn't know well, but he'd be willing to wager they were fucked up, but loyal as all hell. "Are your sisters like you?"
Brody raised his brows. "Like what?"
He shrugged. "Like us."
Brody's face darkened with regret, but he nodded. "Yeah."
The three men looked at each other across the table. All of them had childhoods that had been about pain and survival, instead of love. They'd all fought to live, to survive, to protect those they loved, even though they'd all been in situations where protecting was impossible. Ryder wondered which was worse, living in his dad's house and getting the shit kicked out of him, like he and his brothers had, or living under a bridge and creating a family from survival, like the Harts had.
Didn't matter.
It was what it was.
Chase tapped the plans. "You see anything else you want in the plans? Anything we're missing?"
"No. It's good." It was a modern barn that far eclipsed what they had on Chase's ranch at the moment. They'd have space to train lots of horses, there was a surgical center for Steen's wife, Erin, and they had state-of-the-art facilities in every way. Ryder specialized in high-end barns, but this was the best he'd ever done.
He had money. Chase had money. Travis had money. Some of his other brothers did too, but it was the Harts who had poured funds into it. The Harts had turned street kids into cowboys into billionaires who wore faded jeans, old cowboy boots, and a distrust of everyone…except the start of the bond with the family their sister had married into.
The Harts were a bunch of antisocial bastards who were too fucked up to live any kind of a normal life. Ryder's kind of peeps.
"There's one more thing we need to add," Brody said. "A late addition."
Ryder and Chase looked at him. "What is it?" The excavation was scheduled to start in a week. If it was a major change, Ryder needed to know now.
"Keegan wants a bakery," Brody said.
Ryder blinked. "A bakery?"
"Yeah. He wants to expand to the West, and this is a good base of operations."
"A bakery?" Ryder repeated. "A bakery on a horse ranch?"
Brody met his gaze. "Yeah. Baking helps him. He doesn't want a huge one. Just one big enough to do his thing. A boutique bakery. Maybe ten employees max."
Ryder took a deep breath and exchanged glances with Chase. They both knew what Brody meant. When the nightmares came, when the anger became too much, they all had to find something to deflect it, to allow them to stay in control.
As kids, it had been the horses for both the Stocktons and the Harts. For Keegan, apparently, it had also been baking. For Ryder, it had been the horses…and Zoey. She had been that anchor for him, until she'd left.
Zoey. What was he going to do about her?
"I'm fine with a bakery," Chase said. "As long as I can use it, too."
Brody looked surprised. "You bake?"
"I'm a pie genius." Chase nodded at Ryder. "All my brothers are."
"Pies." Brody looked back and forth between them, and then started to laugh. "Jesus. You guys bake pies?"
Chase shrugged. "Yeah."
Brody grinned. "Damn. I knew I liked you guys. Now I know why. Fucking bakers." He tapped a spot on the plans that was about a good distance from the barn. "I was thinking here for the bakery."
Ryder studied it, then nodded. "That works. We can still break ground on the barn next week while we work on plans for the bakery." A bakery by men like them. A boutique bakery on top of it. It was irony at its best, but at the same time, it made sense. One of his few decent memories from the house of hell they'd grown up in was when Chase ha
d corralled them all into the kitchen to make a Thanksgiving pie for Ol' Skip and his wife, as thanks to the old couple for allowing a bunch of hooligan kids to run wild on their farm.
A bakery. It made sense.
The three of them spent a while longer discussing the bakery, and then Ryder added to his list to get updated plans from the architect. He was just rolling the plans up when he felt Brody studying him. He raised his brows. "What's up?"
"Zoey."
Chase looked over at them, as Ryder stiffened. "What about her?"
"You got something going on with her?"
His fingers tightened around the rolled-up plans. "Why?"
"Because I like her. If you don't want her, I'm going all in on her."
Something flashed dark and ugly inside Ryder, the kind of darkness that had ruled their lives when their father had been alive. It was hard, angry, and violent, rising up so fast that he stepped back quickly, even as his fist balled.
Shit. Shit.
Chase swore under his breath, watching his face.
Brody held up his hand. "It's cool. I get it. I won't move in." But his voice was slightly cooler than it had been.
Ryder ground his jaw and forced his hands to relax. Jesus. How fast had his dad risen inside him at that one remark? Was that what would happen once he decided to make Zoey his? That he'd turn into his dad?
Poison. Dane had said he was poison.
What the fuck was he doing, deciding to go after Zoey? Dragging her into his hell? He ran his hands through his hair, trying to catch his breath. There was too much at stake, too much to lose. Too many to hurt.
"Hey." Chase frowned at him. "Take it down a notch, bro."
Ryder stepped back. "I can't do this. I can't—"
"Yes, you can."
Brody's hands went up. "I won't interfere. She's yours—"
"She's not mine. Shit." Ryder gripped the back of the chair, trying to calm down.
Chase leaned over him, resting his hand on the back of his shoulders. "She's always been yours, bro. It's okay."
He looked up at his brother. "It's not okay. Dane said—"
Brody interrupted. "What do you want?"
Ryder looked at him. "What?"
Brody sat down and folded his arms over his chest. "What do you want? It's a simple question."
"I don't know—"
"Yeah, you do. What do you want?"
"Her. I want her!" The moment he said the words, Ryder tensed. They were his truth. His fucking truth. Jesus. "I want her." He whispered the words, his gut clenching as he owned the words that he'd denied his whole fucking life. He looked at his brother in desperation. "Fuck."
Chase grinned. "It's okay."
"It's not." Jesus. Dane. Jaimi. Zoey. "You saw what just happened. Brody said one fucking thing and I almost lost my shit." He bowed his head, trying to calm down. "I can't do this to her." But even saying that felt wrong. He was her light. But he was also her darkness. How could he be both?
Brody leaned back and clasped his hands behind his head. "I call it the curse of darkness. We all have it."
Ryder looked at Brody. "What are you talking about?"
"The curse of darkness. We're all so fucked up that we don't believe in light. In love." The lines on his face deepened. "I believe that's crap. That's why I fought for Hannah and Maddox to work out. Because if she can find happiness, if she can find love, then it's proof that we all can." He leaned forward. "We all need to believe there's a chance for us, or the darkness will swallow us up. You're no different, Ryder. We fucking need that light, or we'll all die."
Ryder stared into Brody's face, and he saw a darkness that was even deeper than his own. A hopelessness that mirrored that which stalked him. A belief that there was no way out for people like them.
Chase believed there was a way out, because he'd found Mira. But Brody was still alone, still being haunted by his past. In that moment, Ryder felt that connection to Brody that he couldn't find with his own brother, because Brody hadn't found his way out yet either.
Brody met his gaze. "We all deserve light, Ryder. Every last fucked up one of us, no matter what we've done to survive. I believe it."
"You're alone. You haven't found light."
Brody shrugged. "Just because we deserve it doesn't mean we'll find it before it's too late to save us. But with Zoey, if you've got a chance, you gotta grab for that life preserver before you drown. For all of us."
Ryder gripped the chair and rocked back and forth. He wanted Zoey with every piece of his soul. But how could he claim her? "I won't drag her down with me," he said. "I can't." But even as he said it, that voice in his head said the same thing. I am her light.
But he was also pure darkness.
Brody leaned forward, his voice low. "The shit I have done in my life to keep my family safe would revile you. You were an innocent victim, but I was the one who did those kinds of things. That makes me so much worse than you, Ryder, but I did it because I love my family. That makes me worthy. If there's someone out there who can handle who I am, I deserve her, and you're no different."
Ryder stared at Brody, something rising to life inside him at his words. Something that resonated at the truth. Something that made him hate the voices in his head that had been haunting him his whole life, the ones who had ruthlessly taunted him, screaming in his father's voice about what a bastard he was.
Tonight, for the first time, those voices felt like lies.
He looked at Chase. "If I pursue Zoey, it may put a permanent rift between me and Dane, one that could affect our entire family, including our relationship with Jaimi." He put it out there, holding it out there, offering the unspoken. If Chase didn't want to risk that, Ryder would back off from Zoey.
Chase grimaced. "I won't lose you to the darkness, Ryder. Fight for it. For Zoey. We'll work it out."
Ryder looked back and forth between the men, both of whom knew how black his soul was. They matched his darkness, and yet, they nevertheless believed in his light.
"Does Zoey deserve what you can give her?" Chase asked. "Does she deserve to be happy?"
"Yes." He didn't hesitate.
"Then do it." Brody met his gaze. "Do it because you have the chance that the rest of us might never get. Don't be a dick and blow it."
Ryder raised his brows. "A dick? You're calling me a dick?"
Brody shrugged. "I'm just saying that I'm willing to name the name if you deserve it." He nodded at Chase. "Your own brother has your same demons, and he let himself find love. I know I deserve it. What makes you so different from us?"
Ryder looked back and forth between them, and then finally a slow smile spread across his face. "Not a damned thing."
Not a damned thing.
Fuck the darkness.
It was time for him to be the light.
And this time, this time, he knew he meant it.
He would find a way. He didn't know how, but he was going to find it.
"So, what are you doing to do?" Brody challenged him.
Ryder grinned as he grabbed his cowboy hat and set it on his head. "Not give you a reason to call me a dick, that's for damn sure. I gotta go see a girl."
Chase grinned. "It's about trust."
He glanced back at his brother as he headed for the door. "Get her to trust me?" He could do that.
"No. Get you to trust yourself."
Ryder paused. Shit. That was the tough part.
Chapter Fourteen
Ryder was on his way.
What had he meant by that?
Zoey kept checking the front of the café every time the door opened, in nervous anticipation of Ryder showing up during her shift.
He'd texted her that he was on his way there, but she had no idea why he was coming, or why he'd decided to warn her.
"Expecting someone?" Lissa grinned at her as she plated two burgers, flipping them expertly from the stove to the homemade buns. "You keep looking at the door."
Zoey felt her cheeks hea
t up. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"No?" Lissa folded her arms and leaned her hip against the counter. "Sweetie, we're both women. We both know how damn hot the Stockton men are. I saw the way you and Ryder were looking at each other at breakfast yesterday."
Zoey cleared her throat. "We've been friends forever. That's all. I would never date him."
"Date who?" The door leading from the restaurant part of the café swung open as a tall, muscular man in jeans, a cowboy hat, and a gray tee shirt walked in. He walked in as if he owned the place, but he wasn't a Stockton. Instead of the Stockton blue eyes, he had deep green ones, and his short blond hair accentuated the strong line of his jaw. He was pretty much a male specimen, though he couldn't measure up to Ryder's darker good looks.
"Keegan!" Lissa grinned at him. "I didn't know you were going to be in town today."
"They're talking bakery with the architect tomorrow, and I wanted to be in on it. You should be there as well."
She raised her eyebrows. "I told you, I'm not going to go in on a commercial bakery. I love my café."
"You can do both." He reached her and swept her up in a hug, then kissed her cheek. "Good to see you, sis."
Lissa whacked his arm. "Get off me, you big oaf. It's busy here." She set the two plates of burgers in his hands. "If you're going to bug me during the lunch rush, then you need to work. We need help."
He flashed Lissa an adorable grin that showcased a dimple that made him look even more appealing. He was funny and charming, a lightness in his manner that none of the Stockton men ever had. Holding the two plates in front of him, he swung around to face Zoey. "Who might your new waitress be?" He bowed. "My name's Keegan Hart, best damn baker in the country, even if the Stocktons and Lissa claim otherwise."
Zoey couldn’t help but smile. He was so charming. So, this was one of the Harts. She'd met two of them now. How many others were there? She couldn't remember. "I'm Zoey Wilson. Dane's sister."
"Ah…my bro, Dane." Keegan straightened up, studying her with renewed interest. "I'd like to say that makes you my sister, but I think maybe I don't want to go there with you. You new to town?"
A Real Cowboy Always Trusts His Heart Page 9