CHAPTER TEN
INJUNS!
Well, we sure had a hard time gettin' Horace in the saddle that day.He was some like a burro, small but strong minded. Finally he agreedto try it if we would put the saddle-blanket on top the saddle insteadof underneath.
"The hoss don't need it as bad as I do," sez he; "'cause he's coveredall over with hoss-hide an' has hair for paddin' besides; andfurthermore, the saddle is lined with sheepskin underneath, while it'sas hard as iron on top; and I'm just like a boil wherever I touch it."
We told him that a hard saddle was lots the easiest as soon as afeller got used to it; but he broke in an' said he didn't expect tolive that long, an' that we could take our choice of leavin' him, orputtin' the saddle-blanket on top. The's lots of folks with the notionthat a soft saddle or a soft chair or a soft bed is the easiest; an'it ain't much use to argue with 'em, though the truth is, that if afeller lived on goslin' down, he'd get stuck with a pin feather someday an' die o' loss of blood; while if he lived on jagged stones, he'dfinally wear into 'em until he had a smooth, perfect fittin' mold forhis body. Still, the truth is only the truth to them 'at can see it;so we put the blanket on top, an' perched Horace astride it.
He stood it two hours, an' then said it was stretchin' his legs so 'athe was afeared a sudden jerk would split him to the chin; an' then weput the saddle on right, an' he found it full as easy as it had beenthe day before. The best way, an' the easiest an' the quickest, totoughen up, is just to toughen up. The human body can stand almostanything in the way o' hardship. After it has sent up word, hour afterhour, that it is bein' hurt, an' no attention gets paid to it, why, itsets to work to remedy things on its own hook. In order to ridecomfortable, a lot of muscles have to loosen an' stretch. Most o' thepain in ridin' comes from ridin' with set muscles. A feller can'tbalance easy with set muscles, it's just one strainin' jerk afteranother, an' the trick o' ridin' is to move with the horse. Just assoon as ya get to goin' right along with the hoss, loose an' rubbery,you take the strain off o' both you an' him; but while you're bumpin'again' him, it's painful for both.
We rode about forty miles that day; and at the end of it Horace wasn'tcomplainin' any worse 'n at the start. Well, he couldn't, as far asthat goes; but his body had already begun to find the motion o' thehoss. Of course he hadn't learned to balance, an' he still rode rigid;but we had give him an easy-gaited old hammock, an' when we drew up tomake camp, he sat on his hoss without holdin' to the horn, an' said hewas beginnin' to like it. When Tank lifted him down, though, his legswobbled under him like rubber an' he squashed down in a heap,groanin'. We let him sleep where he lit while we were gettin' supper;'cause we was sure he would need it before mornin'. He wasn't nervousany longer; all he wanted was food, sleep, an' a lung full o' tobaccosmoke. I felt rather proud o' my treatment.
Tank had to boot him about purty freely to waken him up enough to takehis vittles; but he took a good lot of 'em, an' I was glad of it,'cause this was the night the Injuns were goin' to attack us, an' hewasn't scheduled to have any more solid nourishment until we got backto the ranch house. After supper he went to his pipe like a young duckto a puddle o' water. He hadn't learned to handle his moisture whilesmokin' a pipe, an' when the pipe began to gargle, he muttered alittle cuss-word under his breath. H. Walpole Bradford was comin' outwonderful.
The stiffenin' had all blew out o' the rim of his hat, givin' the sunfull swing at him, an' his nose looked like a weakly tomato flung in abed o' geraniums. He had wrinkled up his face around where his glassesfit, an' now with the sun gone down his skin had loosened up again,showin' the unburned wrinkles like painted marks. He sure did looktough! He was wearin' a gray suit with a belt around the middle an'canvas leggins.
Along about nine o'clock he nodded over into the fire, right at themost excitin' part of an Injun tale which Tank was makin' up for hisespecial benefit. We fished him out an' shook him awake; but he cameto as cross as a hornet, an' swore he was goin' to sleep right wherehe was with all his clothes on.
"You're a wise pigeon to sleep with your clothes on, to-night," sezTank; "'cause this is the Injun country, an' ya can't tell what'llhappen; but the best plan for us to do is to divide up an' keep watchdurin' the night."
"Keep watch!" yells Horace, glarin' at Tank. "I wouldn't keep watchto-night if I was bound to a torture stake. You can keep watch if youwant to--an' it wouldn't discommode you no more 'n if you was an owl.Your dog-gone, doubly condemned nerves won't let you nor any one elsesleep--but I'm goin' to get some rest if I die for it."
"You're a nice one, you are!" sez Tank. "This here expedition was gotup just on account o' your nerves, an' now that we've come to the mostimportant point of all, why, you flam out an' put all the risk on us."
"You make me tired," sez Horace, scowlin' at Tank as fierce as acornered mouse. "If you're so everlastin' feared o' the Injuns--whatya got this bloomin' fire for?"
"We don't intend to sleep near the fire, Mr. Bradford," sez I,soothin'. "We intend to roll up our beds like as if we was in 'em an'then sneak off into the bushes an' sleep. We don't want any trouble ifwe can avoid it. If you'll notice, you'll see we haven't turned thehosses out to-night."
"These here Injuns is livin' on a reservation," sez he, "an' I don'tbelieve 'at they'd dare outrage us."
I was indignant with the little cuss for not bein' afeared of Injuns.My theory was, 'at nerves was a lot like hosses: keep a hoss shut upan' he'll get bad an' kick an' raise Cain; but take him out an' ridehis hide loose, an' he'll simmer down consid'able. I wanted to giveHorace's nerves such a complete stringin' out that they wouldn't worryhim any more for a year; an' here he was, not carin' a hang forInjuns. "Beliefs is all right to the believers," sez I, stiffenin' up;"but facts is facts whether you believe in 'em or not. Every Injunoutrage since the Civil War was planned on a reservation, an' we can'ttake no chances."
While he was studyin' over this with a pouty look on his face, Tanksez: "It's time we fixed up an' moved out into the dark"; so we putrolls o' brush in the beds, an' went on up the side o' the rise wherethe' was a level spot I knew of, Horace stumblin' an' grumblin' everystep o' the way. We were about two hundred yards from the fire an' itlooked cozy an' cheerful, dancin' away beside the tarps. I was half amind to join in with Horace, an' go on back; but our plans were alllaid, an' besides, I had a little bet up with Spider Kelley, that I'dreturn Horace in such fine condition that he'd be willin' to drinkblood or milk a cow calf-fashion.
"You go to sleep first," sez Tank to Horace; "I'll watch till I getsleepy an' then I'll call Happy, he'll watch two hours, an' if itain't dawn by that time, he'll call you. I may not get sleepy at all,but you know how nerves is. I stayed awake ninety-six hours once, an'couldn't get a speck sleepy. Then I decided to stay out the evenhundred an' see how far I could jump after stayin' awake a hundredhours. I went to sleep in ten minutes an' didn't wake up for twodays--so I'm liable to be took sleepy to-night."
We had brought the slickers up, an' Horace rolled up in one, under alow evergreen, and began to snore in half a minute. As soon as he hadgot to wrastlin' with his breath in earnest, I went to the head o' thetrail an' whistled for Spider Kelley. He an' four others were there,an' I told 'em it was all right to start in an hour, an' then I cameback to Horace chucklin'. Spider enjoyed anything like this, an' hehad fixed up the boys with feathers an' fringe an' smears o' chalk an'raspberry jam, till they looked as evil-minded as any Injuns I'd everseen.
We set Horace's watch ahead five hours. Tank curled up an' went tosleep, an' then I started to wake Horace up. It took so long; to gethim to consciousness that I feared the hour would be up; but hefinally got so he remembered what he was, an' then I told him not tomake any fuss if he saw any Injuns, but to just wake us up. I tried toget him to take one o' my guns, but I didn't wear triggers on 'em an'he didn't savvy snap-shootin', so he took a club in his hand an'started to parade.
He looked at his watch while I was stretchin' out in his warm spot,an' he looked at it again before I was through looseni
n' up mymuscles. It beats the world how slow time crawls to a man on watch. Iwas sleepy myself, but I'd have bit out my tongue before I'd have givein. I lay half on my right side with my hat drawn down, watchin'Horace. After about ten minutes, he pulled out his watch again an'looked at it. He pulled out the snap to set it ahead, in order to foolus, but he was troubled with too much morality, so he snapped it shutan' spoke to himself between his set teeth for several moments.
I reckon he must have kept on his feet for twenty minutes, an' then hesettled down with his face to the fire, which I had fed up on my wayback from seein' Spider, an' said loud enough for me to hear: "This isall damn foolishness."
He said it so slow an' solemn an' earnest, that I purt nigh choked;but I kept still, he kept still, an' the fire kept dancin' before him.His breathin' grew deep an' steady, his nerves was all coiled upcomfortable; and tired muscles don't make a feller wakeful. Purty soonHorace began to gargle his palate, an' then I was ready for SpiderKelley.
The plan was for him to come up close so as to entertain Horace whilehis braves sneaked on to the dummies in the tarps; but the' was nooccasion for sneakin'. Horace had turned over the camp to fate, an' hewasn't worryin' his head about what was goin' to happen to it.
Finally, Spider got disgusted an' he went down an' joined the others,an' they sure raised a riot; but all the time, Horace slumbered on.Spider caught up our hosses, put our saddles an' packs on 'em, threwsome pieces of old canvas he brought along on the fire; and he an' therest raised a wild warwhoop and galloped away; but Horace was too busyto pay any attention. Spider an' the boys had to work next day, an'they was some put out not to have a little more fun for their trouble.It was all Spider could do to keep 'em from sneakin' back an'kidnappin' Horace, but this was liable to give the whole thing away,so he talked 'em out of it. As soon as the noise had died down, I setHorace's watch back five hours, an' then I went to sleep myself. Itwas purty chilly, and I wasn't quite sure who the joke was on.
When Tank woke up, he started in on Horace; but his noise wakened meup first. When Horace saw what had happened to the camp, he was aboutwordless; but after we had called him down about it for five or tenminutes, he flared up an' talked back as harsh as we did. He said 'athe had kept guard for over three hours, fightin' off sleep by walkin'back an' forth; and hadn't sat down until it had started to lighten inthe sky. He stuck to this tale, and I'm sure he believed it himself.He'd been so sleepy the night before that he couldn't have told adream from an actual happenin', so when he began to get excited, wedropped it.
"All right," sez Tank at last; "you've put us into a nice fix, butthe' ain't no use tryin' to pickle yesterday. What we've got to do isto hoof it back, an' we might as well begin. We're in a nice fix:nothin' to eat, not a single cabin on the road back, an' for all weknow the's a pack of Injuns watchin' us this blessid moment."
"How do ya know it was Injuns?" sez Horace.
"Look there, an' there, an' there," sez Tank, pointin' at moccasinprints an' feathers. "Then besides, no white men would 'a' burned upthe tarps."
"Do you mean to say 'at we got to walk all the way back?" sez Horace.
"All the way, an' without no grub," sez Tank.
Horace sat down on the end of a charred log. "Well, I'll die righthere," sez he. "This spot suits me as well as any other."
"You don't have to die at all," sez I. "A body can go forty dayswithout food, an' it does more good than harm." Friar Tuck had told mea lot about fastin', an' I was keen to try it out on Horace. From allI could see from the theory o' fastin', it was just what was neededfor Horace's nerves.
"Look at me," sez Horace, pullin' at the waist of his clothes. "I betI've lost twenty pounds already, on this fool trip. Twenty pounds morewould make me a corpse, an' I'd just as soon be made one here asanywhere. As soon as I rest up a little, I'm goin' to begin to yelluntil I draw those blame Injuns back, an' have 'em finish the job inshort order."
He wasn't bluffin', he was simply desp'rit. "You'll have to walk withus," sez I; "come on."
Tank took one arm, an' I took the other, an' we started forth. For thefirst hour he hung back, and then he began to step out on his ownhook. When we rested at noon, he was the freshest one of us. Tank an'I had ridin' boots, an' ridin' muscles; while he had walkin' shoes,an' no muscles at all worth mentionin'. "I can play at this game aswell as any one," sez Horace, chewin' a blade o' grass, an' lookin'proud of himself.
Tank was purty well fussed up; he wasn't workin' out any theories, hehad just come along to help pester Horace an' have a little amusement;but it began to appear to him that his fun was comin' high-priced.
By nightfall we was all tol'able hungry; but Horace was so set up overbein' able to put over a full day's walk on nothin' to eat that he waspurty speechy, an' it was nine o'clock before he went to sleep. Assoon as he had dropped off, I went down to meet Spider Kelley an' getthe grub he had brought out for me 'n' Tank. He said 'at the otherboys wasn't braggin' none about their trip the night before; but theywere all ready to roast me an' Tank as soon as we got in. We'd had itfixed that Spider an' the rest was to take turns worryin' Horace onthe back trip; but Spider said that it looked to him as if I'd win thebet anyway, so he intended to play neutral from that on. As soon as mean' Tank had eaten, we turned in, an' all of us slept like logs.
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