by Kathryn Shay
She swiped at her cheeks. “No, I don’t cry over things like this after my meltdown when Billy died.”
Handing her a tissue, Kate leaned into her shoulder. “It’s okay to cry. We knew he’d come to mean a lot to you.”
“H-he said he was in love with me and thought I loved him back.”
“Do you?”
“Honestly, right now, I’m just so angry about the whole thing. I can’t stop thinking about how he told me he was going to date Jane Carlin, because he was falling too fast for me. And his wife, who doesn’t freaking exist, had only been dead eight months.”
Kate nodded. “That’s a pretty damning lie.”
“So, you agree I should have kicked him out.”
Julianne and Kate exchanged a meaningful look.
Julianne said, “Actually, no, sweetie, I don’t. Seth cheated on me with other women for years. That’s serious but I forgave him.”
“In fairness to my brother, he had some difficult issues from his past.”
“Yeah, I know. But in the long run, I didn’t want to live without him.” She took Kate’s hand. “Do you honestly never want to see Derek again?”
“Of course, I want to see him. I am in love with him. But how can I get over this?”
“I’d guess the same way I got over Seth’s transgressions.”
“And Rafe forgave my abandonment for five years,” Kate added.
“Is that your honest advice?”
Julianne said, “My honest advice is to follow your heart.”
“Mine, too, Ali. Life is short. You couldn’t do anything about Billy dying, but don’t lose Derek by your own choosing.”
* * *
Derek walked through the streets of downtown Brooklyn. He hadn’t been back to his condo here much since his undercover began, and the area had changed, become more built up. He passed by a market, where he’d stop on his way home, a flower shop, some restaurants and a knick-knack store. Something drew him inside the last one. High end gifts were discreetly placed, and hangings on the walls artistically arranged. A ceramics section was to the left. And his eyes were drawn to an area that said Items from Positano Italy. Two mugs with multicolored swirls beckoned. He pictured Alessia and him sitting out on his deck, enjoying morning coffee.
Get out of my house. And don’t you dare call me again. I’m horrified that you’d think I’d succumb to a man who’d lied to me in every single interaction.
She’d made it clear that the two of them would never be together. Should he give up on her? Wait until she was less hurt and more reasonable? He put the mugs back where they were.
Further down, were dry cleaners, offices, and a new tenant in a little building. Covington, Casella and Covitz.
He’d been to their wedding. Paul and Hayley. Liked them. On a whim, he pulled open the door and walked into a reception area. A man stood by the receptionist, showing her some papers.
He looked over. “We’ll be…” And stopped. Stood. “Davidson, is it?”
“Derek. Hi, Paul.”
The man studied him. “You were with Ali.”
“I was.”
“Do you need legal help?”
“No, I was in the area and thought I’d stop in and say hi.”
He followed Paul back to an office. They sat. “Hayley’s your partner, right?”
“Yep. She’s out on business. Do you live around here?”
“Yeah, I have a condo.”
He smiled. “So do we. Where are you?”
“Colton Arms.”
“Us too. First floor.”
“I must be on the other end, because I’m first floor, too.”
“Now, that is a coincidence.”
“Hmm. How are the newlyweds?”
“Ecstatic to be married. Loved the honeymoon in the Caribbean.”
“I’ll bet.” He smiled. “It was a very nice reception.”
“Yeah.”
Paul leaned over. “So, how’s Ali. We haven’t seen much of her.”
He sighed. “Neither have I.”
The man’s brows rose. “That’s not the impression I got—that you wouldn’t be seeing her—when I walked by the alcove and saw you two locked together in its recesses.”
Derek actually blushed. He shook his head. “If I had my way that’d still be going on. Actually, Paul, she ditched me.”
“Why?”
“I’d need a half hour to tell you. I’m sure you have a busy day.”
“My next client isn’t for an hour. Let’s go next door and get coffee.”
They did, Derek told him everything, and when he said he found Alessia irresistible, Paul guffawed. “Been there, done that, buddy.”
“Yeah?”
“Uh-huh. You’re not going to give up, are you? Because you seemed so into each other.”
“I thought that, too, until she ordered me out of her house last week when I told her the truth.”
“Make her think about you. Keep putting yourself in her mind.”
“I can’t stalk her.”
“There are other ways, my friend. Use your ingenuity.”
He thought of the mugs he didn’t buy. “You know, Covington, you made me feel better today.”
“Good. Now go and court Alessia.”
* * *
Alessia eyed the three laundry baskets in the corner. Each one contained a different kid’s dirty clothes. In order to force them to use the baskets and bring them down every Thursday morning, she designated it as a chore and, if not completed, she’d deduct money from their allowance. They learned quickly to participate. The washing machine was housed in an alcove off the kitchen. Originally it was a covered porch, but Billy had converted it so she wouldn’t have to go down to the basement when she was pregnant. Now, she filled the machine with white clothes, put in the soap, and pushed the start button.
Water slapped her in the face. Jeez, a hose had come loose and went wild like a caught snake. She froze. By the time she realized all she had to do was turn off the water wheel, she was soaking wet.
“Son of a bitch!” She didn’t need this. Every nerve in her body was scraped a little bit more each day from missing Derek. Now, she wasn’t sleeping well, which only exacerbated any problem.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Her drenched knit top and pants had to do until she got upstairs. She’d just finished cleaning up the room, and headed out when the doorbell rang. She looked through the window and saw the popular delivery truck. Pushing her hair back, she opened the door. The carrier bit his lip.
“Gone swimming?” he asked cheekily.
“Just deliver, will you?” She didn’t need a wiseass, either.
She signed for the package, which was marked fragile, and brought it back inside. When she looked in the foyer mirror on the opposite wall, she saw her hair all askew and wet and sticking up.
She set the package on the living room table, went upstairs and took a shower, re-dressed for the day in knit pants with a warm sweater, and came back down. She made herself a cup of tea and took it into the living room. She dropped down on the couch wearily.
The packaging was thick and almost impenetrable, so she got scissors, and finally was able to cut it off. Opening the cardboard box, she lifted out one of the loveliest mugs she’d ever seen. It was pink, black and blue, all swirling and shimmery, and made of thick ceramic. She looked at the bottom. Positano was painted on it. She knew of the city because she and her mother had been thinking about going on a trip to Italy and that was on their agenda.
Mom sent this? Why wouldn’t she just bring it over?
She dug in the packing and found a note. Her hand began to tremble. She had a feeling about this.
The note read: A lovely mug for a lovely lady. I have one too, and when we get together, they’ll be a matching set. I love you. Derek.
Resisting the urge to throw the mug against the wall—she’d be furious at herself if she did—she carefully repacked it with the note, then stowed it in a clos
et in the foyer on a high shelf where the kids wouldn’t find it.
The next day, Alessia decided to bake Christmas cookies. One thing she didn’t like about her kitchen was the cupboard space. The baking goods were placed on a high shelf because they were used less frequently than other spices and ingredients. Going to the treasonous laundry room, she retrieved a step stool, opened the cupboard, stood higher, and reached for the tub of flour.
It slid out too fast and all the white stuff tumbled down on her newly washed hair, dusting her eye lids, into her mouth, then the tub landed on the counter on its side, pouring out the rest of the contents. She spit and sputtered. Plain flour tasted awful.
Shit, shit, shit. After the laundry room debacle, she didn’t need this. Then she heard the front bell ring. She let it go. She’d just shower and clean it up later. But the bell didn’t stop. She had no choice but to answer. She stalked to the foyer and flung the door open. The same delivery man stood before her.
A chuckle. “Been out in the snow?” he asked.
She was tempted to ask him his name so she could report him for being sassy, but Alessia wasn’t a vindictive woman. “Shut up.” She could be rude, though. She signed for the package, a long rectangular one, and congratulated herself for not slamming the door.
This time, she sat on the steps and tore off the brown packing paper. A florist box. She took off the cover and inside nestled two rectangular pots filled with precious orchids. Dreading the note that peeked up, she still tore it open. The note read: These flowers are meant to be planted side-by-side and will grow together lovingly. Like I want to do with you, sweetheart. Please forgive me.
This time, she put her head in her hands.
The next day, the front door opened and Alessia hurried to it. On the stoop stood, not the delivery man, but her son, white sticky stuff in his hair, on his clothes, even on his shoes. “Pete, what happened?”
“I was hopin’ you’d be out. Can I come in? It’s cold out here and this stuff is wet.”
“Not until you tell me what happened.”
“We had a shaving cream fight in school.”
“Um, where’d you get it?”
“We all brought cans. I got mine at VCS.”
“How did you get home?”
Her son shivered. So be it. “Jason’s mother picked us up in her van. I’m, um, suspended.”
“Oh Lord.”
She hadn’t seen the delivery truck had pulled up to the curb and the same employee walked up behind Pete. “Come in, honey,” she said to her son. “Go upstairs.”
She rolled her eyes when she faced Mr. Wise Guy squarely. This time, he was laughing. He quipped, “Boy, who did you piss off?”
“I’m going to report you.”
“Nah, you’re too nice, Alessia. Guess you don’t remember me. I’ve changed since we grew up with together. Joe Callister. Have a good day.” As he left, he glanced over his shoulder. “See you soon.”
She tried hard not to laugh. The whole thing was so stupid, getting mad at a delivery guy who turned out to be a former classmate. She closed the door. She hid the box in the closet until she heard the shower running upstairs. Then she sat in the kitchen and opened the square box. On the front, it said, Belgium chocolates. This time, the card read: Have one piece every day and think about me. I love you, babe!
Man, Derek just didn’t play fair.
* * *
A young man raised his hand. “Agent Drake, I want to say that your talk today, you being so candid, has really helped me. I hope you’ll continue to educate other agents in undercover work.”
A rumble of agreement spread through the entire class of thirty, accented by a vigorous round of applause.
Derek laughed. “I think you can all use my first name. Since I bared my soul and told you to do as I say, not as I did.”
The group laughed and Grant stood. “Class is over, everyone. I’ll see you here tomorrow at the same time and place. Derek, a word?”
The group filed out and Derek hitched his hip on the table he’d stood in front of. “You said I should tell them everything.”
“I did. Your time with them was important, interesting and succinct.”
“Whew!” The last thing Derek needed now was to lose his job.
“I have a job offer for you when you come back from your leave.” He’d taken some time off to regroup.
Derek’s brows raised. “I said no more undercover.”
“You did. But I’m proposing you head an undercover division at the training academy in Quantico.”
“Hmm. I’ll have to think about moving to Virginia.”
Grant crossed his arms. “It didn’t work out with Ms. Benatti?”
“Doesn’t look that way. I’m thinking of throwing in the towel.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” His blue-gray eyes twinkled some. “Did I ever tell you I met my wife while I was undercover?”
“You gotta be kidding me! After all the grief you gave me about Alessia?”
“Like you told the group, Do as I say…”
Derek sobered. “You tricked her, too?”
“Uh-huh. But she eventually gave in.”
“Lucky you.”
“My best advice is don’t give up. Love finds a way.” He stood. “And if you ever tell anybody about all this, I”ll deny it.”
Derek appreciated Grant’s honesty. He left headquarters but was still pessimistic. He’d sent Alessia gifts with his Brooklyn address and his cell phone number inside. No contact. He took out his phone and checked again to be sure. Nothing.
He hadn’t sent a gift today. And was flummoxed about what to do. As it was early evening by now, he decided to go home. Maybe he’d see if Hayley was free. She might have some insight into her cousin.
Or she might slap him across the face, too.
He drove to Brooklyn and parked in the side lot. He’d just reached his front door when he heard someone come up behind him. He reached for his gun, but forgot he didn’t bring it to the classes today. Ready for an attack he whirled around, keys in hand. And dropped them. “Alessia.”
“Hello, Derek.”
Oh, God, did he dare hope? “W-what are you doing here?”
“I’ll tell you if you let me inside. I’ve been waiting in the car and I’m cold.”
Stooping over, he picked up his keys and told his singing heart not to calm down. This could be bad news. She could have come to tell him to get lost for good.
Once inside, he hung up both of their coats.
“Come into the living room.” They sat down, him in a big leather chair, her on a matching couch. They faced each other. “Just tell me straight, honey. I have to know either way.”
She watched him for interminable seconds. Then she smiled. “I’ve missed you terribly. I didn’t think I could feel as bad as when Billy died, but I do.”
“I’ve been miserable, too.”
“I love you, Derek, and I want you in my life.”
The proclamation made his eyes well. He hadn’t cried since his mother died years ago. He battled them back. “You mean it?”
“Of course. I have some issues to work out, though.”
“Issues?”
“Yeah.” She stood and crossed to him. “Later.” She held out her hand, he took it and stood. She said simply, “Where’s the bedroom?”
“Really?” He was reacting like a teenager, but she was here…she wanted him in her life.
“Really.”
He led her down the hall. His room was expansive with, thankfully, a king size bed. She turned to him. And started to unbutton the cute little blue cardigan she wore.
“Let me.”
“Nope. It’ll be quicker if we underdress ourselves.”
He kicked off his shoes, whipped off his sweater, t-shirt, pants and briefs, then stood naked before her. She finished with her clothes and looked at him. “You’re beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful. Just like I knew you’d be.”
He crossed to her. Grateful, so grateful…but, “You’re trembling. Why?”
Alessia put her hand on his chest. “It was one of my issues.”
His brow furrowed. His dark hair was tousled from removing his sweater and his blue eyes concerned. “What is it, sweetheart?”
“I…I’ve only ever been with one man. I started dating Billy when I was seventeen.”
“Ah. He died seven years ago. You haven’t had sex in all that time.”
“I’m afraid not. I’ve had dates, but none serious.”
“Hmm.” He brushed his knuckles down her cheeks, making her shiver even more. He whispered in her ear, “I’ll have to take my time.”
She whispered back, “Just so you know, I’ve used a vibrator so nothing should hurt.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “You always surprise me, Alessia Benatti.”
“That’s good.” She slid onto the bed and stretched out. He got a condom from his pants and climbed on facing her. She smiled. He smiled.
His eyes roamed over her body, his hands began their exploration, then his mouth, oh God, his mouth…it went everywhere. To the crook of her elbow, to her legs where he lifted one and kissed the back of her knee. She startled, he said, “Hurt?” and she said, “No, excited. Who knew?”
He was impressively aroused, she noticed when he came back up. This time, he parted her thighs and pressed his big, masculine palm into her. She reveled in the sensations, in the spurt of pleasure when he exerted more pressure. “Derek…”
“You’re gorgeous when you’re aroused.”
All she could do was moan. “I don’t think I can…oh!” He parted her and inserted one finger…then two.
“No more. I want us together the first time.”
His hand retreated. He stretched out again, rolled on the latex sheath, and pulled her leg over his. Skin to skin excited her.
He ordered, “Look at me.”
She kept her eyes open as he entered her. He was hard and big and filled her completely.
Then he began to move. “Oh,” she protested. “Not so soon.”
“We’ll…” he thrust again “…do more…” He pushed harder “…when we can take our time.” A final thrust and they both spiraled. Not easy like a waterfall. But strong and sweeping.