I quickly open the car door and get in, locking the door from the inside, so that Jake can’t open it. He turns around at the sound of the door shutting and tries the handle. When he realises that I have locked it, he starts to bang on the window. I ignore him and start the car.
“Stace,” he bellows through the window.
All I can think about is getting away from him.
Getting away from a man that I love, a man that I put my complete trust in, only for him to throw it back in my face.
I reverse, Jake still by the window.
“Please don’t go, Stace,” he shouts, and I can see his eyes start to glaze over. “We can work this out.”
As I stare into his handsome face, I realise that I may never be able to come back from this. I may never be able to forgive his actions.
“It’s too late,” I mouth through the window, and I know that he has made out the words that I have spoken. He backs away from the window and I pull out of the parking space and start to drive away.
The tears that I have managed to hold back are now streaming down my face.
As my eyes drift to the rear-view mirror, I see Jake on his knees, his head hanging in shame at what he has done.
Jake
I’ve lost her.
I have acted like a complete fucking asshole, and it has come back to bite me in the ass.
She couldn’t even bear to look at me.
I hang my head in shame, unable to look at her car driving away.
What the fuck have I done?
Chapter Thirteen
Stacey
I get back to the house and find myself standing in mine and Jake’s bedroom, feeling lost and alone. The tears won’t stop flowing, and it feels as though my heart is shattering into a million pieces.
How could he do that to me?
The image of that woman sat on his lap will be forever ingrained on my memory. He should have just asked me about the goddamn leaflets.
I thought that he knew me.
I thought that I knew him.
I guess I was wrong.
I go to the wardrobe on autopilot and pull out my pink holdall. I can’t stay here. I need to get away. Everything here is just a painful reminder of the life that Jake and I have together. Or maybe I should say the life that we had together.
I throw some essentials into my holdall and leave the house. I don’t leave a note. Jake can’t be stupid enough to think that I would stay here now.
As I make my way to the front door, I realise that I have no idea where the hell I am going to go. Lydia is busy trying to sort things out with Paul after Jake’s monumental fuck up. Martin has his own relationship problems to deal with, he doesn’t need me bothering him with my issues.
I make my way out of the house, holdall in hand, and I sit back in my car. I try to slow my racing mind, hoping that some inspiration will hit me about what to do. My phone starts to ring which breaks my thoughts. My stomach churns, thinking that it might be Jake calling me. I brace myself and look at the screen of my phone. I almost breathe a sigh of relief when I see that it is Lydia.
“Hello,” I answer, glumly.
“Babes!” She sounds relieved to hear me. “Where are you?”
“I’m just at home, sat in my car.” I sound so distant. “I’m just trying to decide where to go. I can’t stay here.”
“Come to mine,” Lydia says instantly.
“No, I can’t, Lyd. You have stuff to figure out with Paul. You don’t need me intruding on your life.”
“Don’t be so fucking stupid. Get your ass round to mine, now. Paul and I are fine. We have talked, and we’re going to work through things.” I smile at the fact that Paul is prepared to see it through with Lydia. I knew that he was a good guy. She deserves that. “You, however, are not fine.”
“No, I’m not,” I say quietly.
“Stacey, listen to me. Paul is with Jake as we speak. Paul is trying to convince Jake to give you some space, but it’s like he has lost all sense of reasoning. He’s on his way to yours right now. If you don’t want to see him, then you need to leave, pronto.”
“Shit,” I say, starting the car up.
“Come to mine and you can try to figure out what to do.” I have no time to think of any other plan right now, so I take Lydia up on her offer.
“Okay, I’ll be there soon.”
“Okay, babes.” I hang up the phone and pull off of the driveway.
As I pull onto the main road, I see Jake and Paul on the opposite side. Jake clocks my car straight away and I start to panic. I put my foot down as I see Jake start to run towards my car. I race past him, going faster than I normally would. I can hear him shouting my name, and the pain in his voice almost makes me stop the car. I don’t though. I need to sort myself out before I can even entertain the idea of speaking to Jake.
I pass the turning for Lydia’s and carry on along the main road. He will expect me to go to Lydia’s. I knew that all along. I never should have agreed to go to hers.
My mind is a cluster-fuck of emotions as I continue to drive.
My phone is ringing like crazy on the passenger seat, but I ignore it.
I drive for about half an hour, when I spot a bed and breakfast on the side of the main road, and I pull into the car park, which is just to the right of the building. I park the car and take a look at my phone. Lydia has tried phoning me a couple of times, and the rest of the missed calls are from Jake. I will call Lydia back later. Right now, I need to see if I can get a room at this bed and breakfast for the night.
I wipe my eyes, put my phone in my pocket, and pick up my handbag. The bed and breakfast is very pretty from the outside. It is a quaint cottage that looks like it has been extended at some point. Flowers adorn the window boxes in an array of colours. I exit the car and wearily walk to the front door. I ring the doorbell and wait patiently for it to be answered. It takes a few moments, but the door is eventually opened by an older lady who has a friendly smile plastered across her face. She’s very petite and must be in her late fifties. She has her grey hair pulled back into a neat bun and her blue eyes sparkle, instantly making me warm towards her.
“Good evening, dear, my name is Melody. How can I help you?” Her voice is quiet, so I have to strain to hear her properly.
“Oh, hello. I was wondering if you might have any vacant rooms available for the night?” I ask, praying that she has.
“I do have one room left. It is a double room with an ensuite. Would you like to take a look?” Melody asks me.
“Yes, please,” I answer, feeling relief that my snap decision to stop here is going to pay off. Melody ushers me in and shuts the door behind me. I walk into a large foyer which has yellow pastel coloured walls and hardwood floors. There is an oak staircase directly in front of me, and there is a cabinet to the left which appears to have a guest book on the top.
Melody walks over to the cabinet and unlocks it. She takes a key off of one of the hooks and then locks the cabinet back up again.
“Follow me, dear,” she says as she starts walking to the staircase. I follow her, taking in the surroundings as I do. There are pictures hung on the wall all the way to the top. Each one is of beautiful countryside.
As we reach the top of the stairs, Melody turns to the left and then stops outside a room which has the number five on the front. She unlocks the door and ushers me in. When I enter the room, I see that it is decorated in much the same way as the foyer. Yellow walls and gold furnishings. There is a double bed against the back wall, a table and chairs by a window to the left, a television hangs on the wall opposite the bed and there is a wardrobe and dressing table to the right. A cabinet, just along from the dressing table, houses a kettle and any necessary accompaniments to make tea or coffee.
Melody walks over to a door, which is to the left of the bed.
“This is the ensuite,” Melody says as she switches on a light and I peer around the door. The bath tub is larger than I thought it would be, and t
he whole room sparkles where it has been cleaned.
“This is perfect,” I say as I proceed to tell Melody that I will take the room for the night.
“Wonderful, dear. It’s sixty pounds for the night, and breakfast is served in the dining room between eight and ten. There is also a communal room, if you feel that you would like to relax in the company of others.” She smiles at me and I find it no effort to smile back, her kind nature making me momentarily forget my troubles. “If you could just follow me back downstairs, then we can get you signed in.”
“Great.” I follow Melody back to the foyer, and she asks me to sign the guest book.
“Will it just be the one night that you will be staying, dear?” she asks me.
“Oh, um, I’m not really sure yet.” I can barely think about what I am going to do in the next hour, let alone think about how long I want to stay here for.
“Not to worry,” Melody says. “Are you here on a business trip?”
“Uh, not exactly.” I don’t really know how to answer the question. I can hardly say that my boyfriend mistook abortion leaflets to be mine, so he went and pulled some tart to make me jealous. “I just need a bit of a time out.”
“Ah, career girl, huh?” I just smile at her and she seems to take my smile as a yes. “Well, I don’t have anyone booked into this room for a few days, so you are welcome to stay until then.”
“Thank you,” I say, grateful that she doesn’t ask any more questions about why I am here.
Melody hands me the key to my room and then shows me around the dining area and the communal room. The dining room has six oak tables, with matching oak chairs and the yellow theme continues in here. White tablecloths are edged in pretty lace, and deep red curtains hang at the windows.
The communal room blows me away. In the middle of the back wall is the most intricate fireplace that I have ever seen. It is beautiful and is definitely the main feature of the room. There are comfortable armchairs situated around the fireplace, and then over by the window are two tables and beautifully upholstered chairs. There isn’t anyone in here at present, but I imagine that the guests are attracted to the warmth and comfort of this room. I can just picture myself curling up in one of the chairs, fire roaring, reading a good book and sipping a glass of wine.
“Well, that’s the tour over,” Melody says, diverting my attention back to her.
“This really is a beautiful place, Melody.”
“Thank you, dear. I hope that you enjoy your stay here, however long that may be.” She smiles at me and I thank her again before going to retrieve my holdall from the car.
When I return, Melody is in the foyer and I open my handbag, pulling out my purse. Luckily, I have some cash on me, so I pull out sixty pounds for tonight and hand it over to her.
“You know that you don’t need to pay until you have finished your stay,” she says, clearly taken aback at me having the money ready to give her.
“Oh,” I say, not at all accustomed with the way Melody does things. Usually, in a hotel, you pay up front before they allow you to set foot in the room. I feel a little bit silly that I practically thrust the money in her face.
“It’s okay, dear, I know that other places require money upfront, but I have never had any problems in asking guests to settle their bill.” She really does seem like such a lovely, trusting lady.
I pull my hand back from her and shove the money back into my purse. I smile shyly and make my way up the stairs, holdall in hand. I reach my room and unlock the door, closing and locking it behind me. I leave my holdall by the door and walk over to the bed. I sit on the edge and pull my phone out of my pocket. I find Lydia’s name and give her a call. She answers on the first ring.
“Stacey,” Lydia practically shouts down the phone. “Where the bloody hell are you? I thought that you were coming to mine?” I can hear the panic in her voice, and I feel bad that I didn’t call her back earlier.
“Sorry, Lyd, I didn’t mean to worry you. I just… I couldn’t come to yours.”
“Why not?”
“Because your flat is the first place that Jake would think to look for me.” Lydia stays silent and I know that Jake has already been round there, but I ask the question anyway. “He came round, didn’t he?”
“Yes.” Lydia’s voice is quiet.
“See, I knew that he would.”
“I know that you don’t want to hear this right now, but he was a mess, Stace.” She sounds like she feels sorry for him.
“He’s drunk,” I reply bluntly.
“No, babes, he wasn’t drunk. I think that maybe the shock of everything has sobered him up somewhat. Paul is still with him. He has gone back to yours with Jake, so that he can keep an eye on him.”
Although I am mad with Jake, my heart aches at the thought of him hurting. His actions may be beyond repair, but it doesn’t mean that I can turn my love for him off. I can’t just stop caring about him. I wish that I could.
“Lyd, I need to ask you to do me a favour.”
“Okay. What is it?”
“I know that this is terrible timing, but could you run The Den for me? I can’t face being there right now. I know that it is a lot to ask, but I can’t risk seeing Jake until I am ready. If he knows that I am at The Den, then he will show up.”
“Consider it done,” Lydia replies, no hesitation in her answer.
“Thanks, Lyd.”
“So, are you going to tell me where you are?” she asks.
“I’m just at some bed and breakfast. I saw it as I was driving, and I just stopped and asked if they had any rooms.” I shrug my shoulders, even though I know that Lydia can’t see me.
“How long will you be there for?”
“I don’t know. I just need some time to process everything.” I sigh in frustration at how things have dramatically changed in the last couple of hours. “So, are you going to tell me properly how things went with Paul now?” I ask, changing the subject.
“He was great, Stace. I told him everything, including how I took drugs. He said that he likes me too much to walk away.” She sounds giddy with happiness.
“That’s awesome, Lyd. I’m so happy for you.” Even if my own love life is in tatters, at least Lydia’s is improving.
“Thanks, babes.”
“Listen, Lyd, I think I’m going to try and get some rest now. I feel exhausted all of a sudden.”
“Okay. Call me tomorrow, yeah?”
“Sure. Love ya.”
“Love you too, babes.”
“Bye.” I hang up the phone and it immediately starts to ring. Jake’s name flashes across the screen and I chuck the phone on the bed as if it has burned me. I can’t speak to him yet.
I lie down and curl up into a ball. The tears start to fall again and the pain slicing through my heart is horrendous.
After everything Jake and I have been through, why the hell did it have to come to this?
Chapter Fourteen
Stacey
I must have fallen asleep, because when I open my eyes the room is pitch-black. I sit up, feeling disorientated, and I feel my way across the bed to the bedside lamp. I switch it on and rub my eyes, which are sore from crying.
I make my way over to the window and close the curtains before going into the ensuite. I use the facilities and then stare at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are puffy and red-rimmed. My face is pale, and my blue pools convey all of the misery that I am feeling.
I splash my face with water and then dry myself on the plush yellow towel that is hanging on the heated rail. I return to the bed and climb under the duvet, failing to take off my clothes. I don’t have the energy to get undressed.
I pick up my phone which is still on the bed from earlier. I have five more missed calls, one text message and a voicemail, all from Jake. My stomach churns as I contemplate deleting the text and the voicemail without reading or listening to them. It takes me a few minutes to decide that I can’t delete them. As much as I know that it would
be best to ignore them, I have to look.
Curiosity gets the better of me and I open the text message.
Stace, please speak to me. I’m such an
idiot. Not being able to speak to you is
killing me. I’m so sorry for what I did. Please,
just think about calling me back. I love you
more than you will ever know.
Jake x x x
My breath catches as I re-read the message a few times.
Why did he not just ask me about the damn leaflets?
Why did he have to go and chat up some other woman?
I could be at home with him right now if he hadn’t jumped to conclusions.
I take a deep breath, and before I can chicken out, I listen to my voicemail. I put it on loud speaker and wait for the message to begin.
“Baby, I am so sorry. I know that I have said that already,
but I need you to believe how sorry I am. I wasn’t thinking
straight after finding those abortion leaflets. I just… I
thought the worst, and I shouldn’t have done that. I know that
you would never do that to me.”
I hear his voice break at this point, and it makes my heart constrict with pain.
“I don’t want to lose you, Stace. We have come through so
much. I don’t want us to be over. I didn’t mean to hurt you.
I love you so much. I don’t know how to be without you.
You are my whole fucking world. I wish I could take it back.
Please talk to me. Please…”
The message ends with the sound of Jake breaking down and then cuts off. I delete it straight away. I can’t listen to that again.
The pain in his words and the anguish in his voice makes me want to get in my car and go to him. It would be so easy, but I know that I would regret it. I need to give myself time to decide what I want to do.
The Complete Perfect Series Page 50