‘I was getting lonely downstairs. I thought you two were never coming back!’ His eyes creased in the corners and his cheekbones were higher than normal on his face. He must have been ignoring the fact my home was almost two-thousand miles away. I tried to push the thought away too. I wanted to absorb them and dream a little. Everything Corfu was bringing me was a surprise, and at that moment I didn’t want to overthink or questions things. I had no energy left for it. So, I didn’t.
I stayed for the rest of the day spending time in their garden, hearing anecdotes of Gaia’s childhood and Anton’s mishaps. Learning how Gaia decided she wanted to cook all their meals when she was only five years old, to Anton’s dismay. He made sure they only had salad for a week. That was until she got very upset at the whole thing, and he let her boil an egg and make some rock cakes for school. Which, apparently, he used to like to make with his English nan. Gaia took pride in telling me about a time when there was a big family do, both sets of grandparents and aunts and uncles all there for her birthday. At only six, she took herself off to the shops to buy more ice as they had run out. When Anton couldn’t find her, he was apparently pulling his hair out, ready to call the police. She had come strolling in with a big grin on her face. Watching her tell the tale of triumph, laughing, looking at her father role his eyes just seemed to sum them up. She was seeking equality; he was horrified and a little bewildered. Their tales all boiled down to muddling through, bound together with love and laughter.
In the evening, Anton made us all moussaka and we sat outside drinking wine – fresh juice for Gaia. Eventually it was just the two of us, alone. Getting to know more about Gaia had been much better than I could have hoped but it was also nice to have Anton to myself.
‘Gaia is such an intelligent and mature girl.’
‘She does worry me. I would say growing up too fast, but it’s too late for that…’ He paused, sloping his head slightly. ‘Have you ever thought about having children?’
I gulped my wine a little too hard, the painful ball of liquid pushed against the walls of my throat trying to escape. But it couldn’t, and neither could I. ‘Well, I’ve never been with the right person to make it a viable option.’
‘Did you want children?’ Perhaps this was his way of weeding me out of his life, if the answer wasn’t suitable.
I gave a coy nod over my glass followed by a snippet of a smile. ‘Would that be a problem?’ This time gulping my wine back was on purpose.
‘No.’ His answer was clean cut. He wasn’t looking at me anymore though, just gazing at the beauty of his own garden. ‘It’s a five-bedroom house, it could do with filling.’ I could see his ribs begin to jiggle.
‘I think I would be happy with just the one to be honest. One good one. One like Gaia,’ I said. His belly joined in the little bouncing. I don’t know why but I found it strange for such a big man to be such a giggler over nothing. I liked it. ‘Why are you laughing?’
‘Because for a hypothetical conversation this is very loaded Melodie-Mou.’ He wasn’t wrong. I was numbing the weight of the conversation by letting him top up my wine glass. But all I let out was a hum of agreement. I couldn’t remember having this conversation with any other man. He was already a father. He was good at it too. He was able to give time and security. According to Gaia, perhaps too much time.
‘I take it from the amount of wine you’ve drunk you’re staying?’
‘I could get a taxi? It’s only ten minutes away.’
‘No, I’d like you to stay.’
‘I’ll stay in a spare room in that case, I think it’s important Gaia doesn’t think we are rushing anything. I don’t want her getting the wrong idea.’
His lips fell serious for a moment with one slightly raised eyebrow. ‘That’s what I was going to say. What made you say it?’
The wine churned in my over full belly and I was wishing she hadn’t chosen me to confide in. ‘She’s almost fourteen, I don’t want her to think it’s okay for a woman to devalue herself.’
‘So that’s how you see it?’ He had a fitted white t-shirt on with an artistic outline of a face on it. The face was starting to have a mind of its own, dancing as amusement bubbled over him.
‘Don’t get me wrong, I’m live and let live. Thing is, I grew up knowing my mother had got herself into trouble at sixteen, plus being brought up by an older generation. I think that all culminated in a slightly more traditional, or, old-fashioned view.’
‘So, no sex before marriage then?’ His firm torso was jiggling more, and more, the poor line face couldn’t control itself.
‘And what if it were? Should I leave now?’ I did my best to stay as serious as possible.
Slowly, his head edged round until he was looking me in the eye. ‘You’re thirty-one, surely you have?’ His eyes were glinting with a giggle behind them but he had become determined to control it until he could be sure he was safe to let it escape. The burgundy drawing was momentarily still as he clearly held his breath beneath.
‘So?’ By this point I was also holding in a laugh, but I was determined to do my very best angry look.
‘Oh.’ He took the bait and there was an edge of panic. He sat up straight, running his fingers along his jaw then tugging at one fat little earlobe. ‘I had no idea. I mean after the episode on the beach, and I did feel like we were heading in a direction the other morning…’ His voice was low and his cheeks were pink. I was like a balloon ready to pop with helium giggles. It happened. I popped. Doubled over, my hair swayed in tipsy laughter taking hysterical gulps of sweet fruit-filled air.
‘No, it might have been a while, but no, I’m not a virgin!’ Tears were starting to fall with laughter. Not that it was all that funny in reality, it just tickled me to wind up Anton. He picked up his glass and finished the contents.
In no time at all it was past midnight and we were still chatting in the garden trying to minimise mosquito bites with yellow and green citronella candles the size of fireworks, that Anton had thrust into pots.
‘I’m pretty drunk! I think you should show me to my room,’ I slurred just a little.
‘This way my Melodie-Mou.’ He did a small bow towards the door, but I was frowning, hands pressed to my hips.
‘I am not a cow!’ He was still laughing as he showed me up the stairs to a large magnolia room with yellow accents and sunflower bedding. It had its own en suite with yellow towels and floor mats.
‘Thank you, good night Anton.’ I gave him a lingering kiss while the alcohol in me decided to squeeze anything I could grab. Stepping back, I didn’t lose his eye contact as I closed the door. I’d never felt so smug.
I started to get myself ready for bed when there was a light knocking. My feet decided to do an over-exaggerated creeping across the floor before opening up the door. It was Anton.
‘And how may I help you?’
‘Can I come in so I don’t have to whisper?’ I swung open the door and stood back, carefully closing it behind him. ‘I brought you these,’ he said, passing me a toothbrush, toothpaste and one of his shirts. ‘I know you usually sleep in a shirt; it will probably be huge on you but it’s the smallest I have.’ He looked very pleased with himself, rubbing his stubbly chin and showing me a glancing flash of creamy white teeth.
‘Aww, that’s so thoughtful, thank you!’ Drunk me was a lot more confident than sober me. As is true of every person I’ve ever known to drink. This was a problem, as holding Anton’s attention, the fact he had any interest in me, was already giving me a big head. I took my kaftan over my big head, slipped off my underwear and stood for a moment in front of him before carefully placing on the shirt. Casually I walked towards him, he hadn’t moved a muscle. At least not obviously. ‘Goodnight,’ I whispered into his ear. I kissed his cheek and ushered him out of the door.
Chapter 11
Feeling rather heavy headed, I left Anton’s straight after
coffee and three glasses of water. After a quick stop at my Airbnb, I was off, ready to start again. I arrived at Liliana’s ready to be open, but apparently the door wasn’t so ready. I knocked and knocked with no answer. I took a walk around her small white box house. I called as I went but she was nowhere to be found. Even though it probably wasn’t locked, I didn’t want to go in. She might think I was poking about. I sat on her doorstep tanning for the best part of an hour before deciding the car was a more sensible option for waiting, at least then there was air conditioning. Boredom and late nights kicked in, and I fell sound asleep in a matter of minutes.
A nail tapped on my window making me jolt, accidentally beeping my horn, which in turn made my mother jump. She seemed amused as I stepped out holding my chest and gulping air.
‘Sorry to frighten you, I’m just so pleased you’re back!’ Her enthusiasm was quietly comforting.
‘You can thank Gaia.’ I followed her towards her front door and back inside the house-come-oven.
‘I shall! She’s got a good head on her that one. How long have you been waiting outside?’
I looked at my phone. It was almost half past three. ‘Wow. I got here close to eleven!’
‘I’m so sorry! I’ve been at work.’ She put her finger in her mouth and bit at the nail, all of her nails were short or bitten. A habit I had myself as a child, but I stopped long ago. Her hands weren’t like mine at all, they looked rough and hard. Thick stubby little fingers as opposed to my well-manicured pampered looking ones.
‘Where do you work?’ I said.
‘Just at the local supermarket, nothing special.’ Her ponytail joyfully swayed as she walked towards the kitchen, dancing to its own beat.
‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘During the pandemic supermarket workers were praised as heroes.’
‘I didn’t feel like work was risking my life. Not that I cared either way. I was just pleased to still have a job; tourism’s the main income here, some people were living on the breadline. The Greeks are amazing, everyone just helped everyone. They made it through together.’ Her absent-minded whisp of a smile was so like Papa I’m sure my eyes popped out of my skull a little bit. ‘Would you like a drink?’
‘Just water please.’ She scurried off to the kitchen followed by her dancing hair, leaving me pondering over how normal and everyday the conversation was. Evidence that Gaia could have been right, why let the past hold us back? I just had to suppress my questions and see where things would go.
I sat scanning the room for details instead. Usually, when left alone in a room, photographs or ornaments keep you company. They distract the mind and give an insight into someone’s life. All I had to look at were very lonely items: old arm chairs, a dark wooden sideboard, a fold-up dining table, and a nest of three small brown tables. I’d assessed the whole room in less than ten seconds but I’d gained nothing. At best I could say she was either low on money or didn’t care much for things. It was stark with off-white, pealing walls, which could have made the room feel brighter, but instead it was just dark and desolate.
When she came back into the room, I was thankful to see ice in the water; without it I might have cried. She was muttering something I didn’t catch and went back to the kitchen. I was sitting on the edge of the chair straining to hear her soft voice and trying to work out if she was talking to me or herself. In a moment she was marching purposefully back with a tray of olives and crisps.
‘You can’t have had any lunch.’ She was so softly spoken at times and her round eyes were almost as soft.
‘Fantastic, thank you.’ She carefully placed the tray on the nest of tables by my side and I gladly took some olives to suppress the edge of nausea and headache looming over me.
‘Thank you for coming back, it really does mean the world to me.’
‘I’m hoping we could get to know each other. You seemed to want to know more about me and I guess I’d like the same. If that’s possible?’ She gave a couple of sharp nods bouncing her hair. ‘Like, how long have you lived in this house for example?’
‘Almost fourteen years now I think,’ she actually answered, I could barely believe it.
‘Wow, that’s quite some time. How come you don’t have any photos or things out?’ She shifted in her chair, put her water on the stone floor, and she looked like someone was poking her ribs again with the way her body winced.
‘I don’t have anything to put out.’
‘Fourteen years and you don’t have one photo or anything?’
‘No, I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest.’ I didn’t press the matter but it sat in the back of my mind mulling: how that could be possible? That was until I noted my own isolation from society. Perhaps I was more like her than I had first thought.
‘Oh well, very…minimalist.’ I lifted my cheekbones in lieu of a proper smile. I’d unwittingly caused another wave of awkwardness between us. It was bad enough I was subtlety hiding olive stones in my pocket because I didn’t know what to do with them and I felt too silly to ask, I didn’t need further cold moments in a hot room. All I could think was think! Think, think, think! Think of anything to say!
‘Perhaps I could take a photo with you? To put up?’ I said. The apples of her cheeks saturated in pink and her eyes lit up as she nodded. I picked my phone out from amongst the olive stones in my pocket, and crouched next to her chair to take one of us together. I was looking at the camera, she was looking at me. Her expression was unique, hard to decipher. It looked like a mixture of contentment, maybe love and possibly confusion.
‘Do you have a printer?’ I asked while studying the image on my phone.
‘No.’ Disappointment soaked her voice and her face crumpled into lines, like that of a discarded tissue.
‘It’s okay, I’m sure Anton has one at his, if not he would know someone who does. I’ll get it printed for you.’
‘That would be truly wonderful, thank you.’
‘I guess I should get going. When is a good time to come back?’
‘Not tomorrow, I have work again, how about the day after that? Would you like to have dinner with me?’
‘I would love that,’ I said, and I wasn’t lying. I liked to look at her face and see my grandparents smiling back at me. She was my connection to them if nothing else and that was something I was starting to enjoy.
I went back to my Airbnb to have a moment to myself, a moment to reflect. I came to Corfu to find the memory of my grandparents and I had done exactly that, just not in the way I had expected. It was a rather serendipitous mess. But perhaps life was coming together in a way I could never have dreamt? My phone buzzed, nudging me out of my brain and back into the room. It was Anton:
Kali! How did today go? Any better? A x
I replied within seconds:
Kalispera! Much better thanks. Do you want to come over? Please bring food. :)
Within thirty minutes he had arrived and was cooking up a storm in my kitchen.
‘Where’s Gaia tonight?’
‘Seeing her friends Natalia and Nefeli.’ I wondered if that was really where she was, or if she was with that Finn boy. ‘Everything okay?’
My head snapped up to face his words. My skin was suddenly tingling. I’d promised Gaia I’d keep my mouth shut about Finn but Anton’s eyes were narrow and those brows felt like they were judging me. Unfortunately for me, my own eyebrows had likely given me away, frowning at my own thoughts.
‘Yes, I’m fine, I’m fine. Just thinking about today. Do you have a printer?’
‘I do, why?’ I passed him my phone on the picture in question. ‘Wow, your first photo with your mum? I think I have some photo paper, I’ll print you some.’
‘Perfect, thank you. Do you know where I could buy a frame in the morning? I want to frame it for her. She has nothing at all on display in her house. I don’t want the first thing to be a frame
less photo.’
‘The small supermarkets have things like that but they can be a little touristy. You might be in luck.’
‘It’s worth a try!’ I said with a shrug. I enjoyed Anton’s company even when we weren’t saying much at all. I enjoyed looking at him too, his long muscular arms made me want to curl up close to him and never come out from his warmth – even on a hot day. He was wearing a fitted white t-shirt with navy shorts. Nothing special, but on him, they became something to revere. Watching his muscles move through the white cotton, not muscle-bound, no, just naturally well formed, or at least that’s how he came across. His bulky frame was delicately adding pinches of herbs to our dinner through long slender fingers. I needed to stop lusting for a moment. It wasn’t helpful to the logical lists I needed to run in my mind. Could I live in Corfu? Could I come here to get to know my mother and see where things would go with Anton? Of course his fitted t-shirt was in the pro column.
‘Gaia asked me why I like you the other day.’ She hadn’t said I couldn’t tell him that.
‘Did she?’ He turned from his cooking, eyes agog and biting his lip with a naughty little smile. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said I’d seen you naked and that was enough!’ Mr Giggler was giggling again, it really didn’t take much to set him off.
‘I hope you didn’t!’
‘No of course I didn’t!’
‘Well… I’m intrigued…’ He paused, frozen mid-motion waiting for a sensible response, I supposed.
‘I don’t know, she put me on the spot. I said something about how I respect what a great Father you are and how you look after me too… Then I said the naked thing.’
‘Well, that seems fair enough then.’
‘So, has she asked you to why you like me?’
‘No, but I think it’s pretty obvious,’
‘Oh?’
‘I’ve seen you naked too!’ he said and I pursed my lips and gave a sarcastic laugh in return.
‘What would you really say?’ He was pottering all about the kitchen starting to dish up a delicious smelling meat in a sauce, something I didn’t know, but couldn’t wait to try.
The Little Blue Door Page 11