Pamela

by Samuel Richardson

  My master and Mr Williams afterwards walked together, for a quarter of an hour, and talked about general things, and some scholastic subjects, and joined us, very well pleased with each other’s conversation.

  Mrs Jones said, putting herself on one side of me, as my master was on the other, ‘But, pray, sir, when is the happy time to be? We want it over, that we may have you with us as long afterwards as you can.’ ‘I,’ said my master, ‘would have it to-morrow, or next day, at farthest, if Pamela consent: for I have sent for a licence, and the messenger will be here to-night, or early in the morning, I hope. But, my good girl, let me desire you not to take beyond Thursday.’ ‘Surely, madam,’ said Mrs Jones to me, ‘the ceremony will not be delayed by you.’ ‘Now you, Mrs Jones,’ said my master, ‘are on my side, I will leave you with her, to settle it: and I hope, she will not let little bashful niceties be important with her.’ And then he joined the two Miss Darnford’s.

  Mrs Jones told me, I was to blame, she would take upon her to say, if I delayed it a moment longer than was necessary; because she understood Lady Davers was very uneasy in the apprehension that it would be so; and if any thing should happen, it would be a sad thing! ‘Madam,’ replied I, ‘when my master was pleased to mention it to me at first, he said it should be in fourteen days; and afterwards, asked me, if I would have it in the first or the second seven. I answered (for how could I do otherwise?) In the second: he desired it might not be the last day of the second seven. Now, madam, as he was then pleased to speak his mind, I would not for any thing seem too forward.’

  ‘Well, but,’ said she, ‘as he now urges you in so unexceptionable a manner for a shorter day, I think, if I was in your place, I would agree to it.’ I answered, that if I found him very earnest, I should think I ought to oblige him.

  We joined the two Miss Darnford’s, and they both begged to be at the wedding, and to have a ball; and besought me to second their requests. ‘Indeed, ladies,’ said I, ‘I cannot promise that.’ ‘Why so?’ they asked. ‘One may, with pleasure,’ answered I, ‘celebrate the anniversary of one’s nuptials; but the day itself – Indeed, ladies, I think it is too solemn an affair, for the parties of our sex to be very gay upon it! And I am sure, in your own cases, you would be of my mind.’ ‘If it be such a solemn business,’ said Miss Darnford, ‘the more need one has to be as light-hearted and merry as one can.’

  ‘I told you,’ said my master, ‘what sort of an answer you would have from Pamela.’ The younger Miss said, She never heard of such grave folks in her life, on such an occasion! ‘Why, sir,’ said she, ‘I hope you will sing psalms, and that your bride will fast and pray all day. Such sackcloth and ashes267 doings ’, for a wedding, did I never hear of!’ She spoke a little spitefully, I thought; and I returned no answer. I shall have enough to do, I suppose, in a-while, if I am to answer every one that will envy me!

  We went in to tea, and all the ladies could prevail upon my master for, was a dance before he left this country; but Miss Darnford said, It should then be at their house; for, truly, if she might not be at the wedding, she would be affronted, and come no more hither, till we had been there.

  When they were gone, my master would have had my father stay till the ceremony was over; but he begged he might set out as soon as it was light in the morning; for, he said, My mother would be doubly uneasy at his stay; and he burned with impatience, to let her know all the happy things that had befallen her daughter. When my master found him so desirous to go, he called Mr Thomas, and ordered him to get horses ready betimes in the morning, and a portmanteau, and to attend my father a day’s journey to his own home. How good was this!

  He said a great many kind things at supper-time, and gave my father all the papers he had of mine; but desired, when he and my mother had read them, that he might have them again. ‘So affectionate a father and daughter,’ added he, ‘may, perhaps, be glad to be by yourselves, for an hour or two. Remember me to your good wife, Mr Andrews; and tell her, that I hope it will not be long, before I see you together on a visit to your daughter. And so I wish you a good night, and a good journey, if you set out before I see you.’ And then, taking my father’s hand, he retired, leaving my dear father almost speechless, from the sense of his favours and goodness.

  You may believe, my dear mother, how loth I was to part with my father; and he was also unwilling to part with me; but he was so impatient to see you, and tell you the happy tidings, with which his heart overflowed, that I could hardly wish to detain him.

  Mrs Jewkes brought two bottles of canary, and two of cinnamon-water,268 and some cake; and they were put in the portmanteau, with my father’s newly presented clothes; for he said, He would not, for any thing, be seen in them in his neighbourhood, till I was known, by every body, to be married; nor would he lay out any part of the twenty guineas till then, neither, for fear of reflections. ‘All this, as you please, my dear father,’ said I, ‘and I hope now we shall often have the pleasure of hearing from one another, without needing any art or contrivances.’

  He said, he would go to-bed betimes, that he might be up as soon as it was light; and so he took leave of me, and said, He would not love me, if I arose in the morning to see him go; since that would make us but more loth to part, and grieve us both all day.

  Mr Thomas brought him a pair of boots, and told him, he would call him up at day dawn; every thing being put up over night; and so I received his blessing, and his prayers, and his promises of procuring the same from you, my dear mother, and went up to my closet with a heavy heart, and yet a half-pleased one, if I may so say; since that, as he must go, he was going to the best of wives, and with the best of tidings. But I begged he would not work so hard as he had done; for I was sure my master would not have given him twenty guineas for clothes, if he had not designed to do something else for him; and that he should be the less concerned at receiving benefits from my master, because he, who employed so many persons in his large possessions, could make him serviceable, to a degree equivalent to the benefit conferred; yet not hurt any body else.

  He promised me fair; and pray, my dear mother, see he performs. I hope my master will not see this: for I will not send it you, at present, till I can send you the best of news; and the rather, as my father can acquaint you with the greatest part of what I have written since the papers he carries you. So good-night! my dear mother: and God send my father a safe journey, and a happy meeting to you both!

  MONDAY

  Mr Colbrand being returned, my master came up to me in my closet, and brought me the licence. How my heart fluttered at the sight of it! ‘Now, Pamela,’ said he, ‘tell me, if you can oblige me with the day. Your word is all that is wanting!’ I was so bold as to kiss the hand that held it; and though unable to look up, said, ‘I know not how to express my gratitude, sir, for all your goodness to me! I would not for any consideration, that you should believe me capable of receiving negligently an honour, that all the humble duty of a long life, were it to be lent me, will not be sufficient to enable me to deserve. I ought to resign myself, in every thing I may or can, implicitly to your will. But –’ ‘But what?’ said he, with a kind impatience! ‘Why, sir,’ said I, ‘when from last Thursday you mentioned fourteen days, I had reason to think that term your choice; and my heart is so wholly yours, that I am afraid of nothing, but that I may seem to be forwarder than you wish.’ ‘Impossible, my dear creature!’ said he, and folded me in his arms; ‘impossible! If this be all, this very day shall make you mine: I will send away immediately,’ said the dear gentleman. – And was going.

  I said, ‘No, pray sir, pray sir, hear me! Indeed it cannot be today!’ ‘Cannot!’ said he. ‘No, indeed, sir!’ And I was ready to sink to see his generous impatience! ‘Why flattered you then my fond heart,’ replied he, ‘with the hope that it might!’ ‘Sir,’ said I, ‘I will tell you what I had thought, if you’ll vouchsafe me your attention.’ ‘Do then,’ said he.

  ‘I have, sir,’ proceeded I, ‘a great desire, that whenever
the day is, it may be on a Thursday:269 on a Thursday my father and mother were married, and they are a very happy pair: on a Thursday your poor Pamela was born: on a Thursday my dear good Lady took me from my parents into her protection: on a Thursday, sir, you caused me to be carried away to this place, to which I now, by God’s goodness, and your favour, owe all my present prospects; and on a Thursday it was, you named to me that fourteen days from that, you would confirm my happiness. Now, sir, if you please to indulge my superstitious folly, you will greatly oblige me: I was sorry, sir, for this reason, when you bid me not defer till the last day of the fourteen, that Thursday in next week was that last day.’

  ‘This, Pamela, is indeed superstitious; and I think you should begin now to make another day in the week a happy one: as for example; on a Monday, may you say, my father and mother concluded to be married on the Thursday following. On a Monday, so many years ago, my mother was preparing all her matters to be brought to-bed on the Thursday following. On a Monday, several weeks ago, it was that you had but two days more to stay, till you were carried away on Thursday. On a Monday, I myself,’ said he, ‘well remember, it was that I wrote you the letter, that prevailed on you so kindly to return to me; and on the same day, you did return to my house here; which I hope, my girl, will be as propitious an æra270 as any you have named: and now, lastly, will you say, which will crown the work; and, on a Monday, I was married. Come, come, my dear,’ added he, ‘Thursday has reigned long enough, let us now set Monday in its place, or at least on an equality with it, since you see it has a very good title, and as we now stand in the week before us, claims priority: and then, I hope, we shall make Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, as happy days, as Monday and Thursday; and so, by God’s blessing, move round, as the days move, in a delightful circle, till we are at a loss what day to prefer to the rest.’

  How charmingly was this said! And how sweetly kind!

  ‘Indeed, sir,’ said I, ‘you rally my folly very agreeably; but don’t let a little matter stand in the way, when you are so generously obliging in greater! Indeed I like Thursday best, if I may chuse.’

  ‘Well then,’ said he, ‘if you can say, you have a better reason than this, I will oblige you; else I’ll send away for the parson this moment!’

  And so, I protest, he was going! ‘Stay, stay, sir,’ said I: ‘we have a great deal to say first; I have a deal of silly prate to trouble you with!’ ‘Well, speak then, in a minute,’ replied he, ‘the most material: for all we have to say may be talked of while the parson is coming!’ ‘O but indeed, and indeed,’ said I, ‘it cannot be to-day.’

  ‘Well then, shall it be to-morrow?’ ‘Why, sir, if it must not be on a Thursday, you have given so many pleasant distinctions for a Monday, that let it then be next Monday!’ ‘What! a week still!’ said he. ‘Sir,’ answered I, ‘if you please; for that will be, as you enjoined, within the second seven days.’ ‘My dear girl,’ said he, ‘’twill be seven months till next Monday. Let it,’ said he, ‘if not to-morrow, be on Wednesday; I protest I will stay no longer.’

  ‘Then, sir,’ returned I, ‘please to defer it, however, for one day more, and it will be my beloved Thursday.’ ‘If I consent to defer it till then, may I hope, my Pamela,’ said he, ‘that next Thursday shall certainly be the happy day?’ ‘Yes, sir,’ said I. And I believe I looked very foolishly.

  And yet, why should I, with such a fine gentleman! And whom I so dearly love! And so much to my honour too? But there is something greatly awful upon my mind, in the solemn circumstance, and a change of condition never to be recalled, though all the prospects are so desirable. And I can but wonder at the thoughtless precipitancy with which most young folks run into this important change of life.

  Thus, my dear parents, have I been brought to fix so near a day as next Thursday; and this is Monday. O dear! I am almost out of breath to think of it. This, though, was a great cut-off; a whole week out of ten days. I hope I am not too forward, I’m sure, if it obliges my dear master, I am justified.

  After this, he rode out, and did not return till night. How, by degrees, things steal upon one! I thought even this small absence tedious, and the more, as we expected him home to dinner. I wish I may not, by my over-fondness, make him indifferent to me: but yet, my dear father and mother, you two, let the world run as it would, were always fond of each other.

  When he returned, he said, he had had a pleasant ride, and was led out to a greater distance than he intended. At supper he told me, that he had a great mind Mr Williams should marry us; because, he said, it would shew a thorough reconciliation on his part: ‘But,’ said he, most generously, ‘I am apprehensive, from what passed between you, that the poor man will take it hardly, and as an insult, of which I am not capable. What says my girl? Do you think he would?’ ‘As to what he may think,’ replied I, ‘I cannot answer; but as to any reason for such thoughts, I can. And indeed, sir, you have shewn so much generosity to him, in every respect, it is impossible he should mistake your motive.’

  He then spoke with some resentment of Lady Davers’s behaviour; and I asked, If any thing new had occurred? ‘Yes,’ said he, ‘I have a letter from her impertinent lord, written professedly at her instigation; which amounts to little less than a piece of insolent bravery, on supposing I intended to marry you. I was so provoked,’ added he, ‘that after I had read it, I tore it into a hundred pieces, and scattered them in the air, and bid the man who brought it, let his master know what I had done with his letter; and so would not permit him to speak to me, as he would fain have done. I think the fellow talked something of his Lady coming hither; but she shall not set her foot within my doors; and I suppose this treatment will hinder her.’

  I was much concerned at this: and he said, ‘Had I a hundred sisters, Pamela, their opposition should have no weight with me; and I did not intend you should know it; but you, who have suffered so much from the pride of the brother, must expect a little difficulty from that of the sister. In short, we are too nearly allied in mind, as well as blood, I find. But this is not her business. And if she would have made it so, she should have done it with more decency. Little reason had she to boast of her birth, who knows not what belongs to good manners.’

  ‘I am very sorry, sir,’ said I, ‘to be the unhappy occasion of a misunderstanding between so good a brother, and so worthy a sister.’ ‘Don’t say so, Pamela, because this is an unavoidable consequence of the happy prospect before us. Only bear it well yourself, because she is my sister, and leave it to me to make her sensible of her own rashness.’

  ‘If, sir,’ said I, ‘the most humble deportment to good Lady Davers, will have any weight with her ladyship, assure yourself of all my endeavours to mollify her.’ ‘You must not imagine, Pamela,’ returned he, ‘that when you are my wife, I will suffer you to do any thing unworthy of that character. I know the duty of a husband, and will protect your gentleness as much as if you were a princess by descent.’

  ‘You are inexpressibly good, sir,’ said I; ‘but I am far from thinking a gentle disposition indicates a meanness of spirit. This is a trial I ought to expect; and well may I bear it, who shall have so many benefits to set against it.’

  ‘Well,’ said he, ‘all the matter shall be this: we will talk of our marriage as if it were to be celebrated next week. I find I have spies upon me: and lest Lady Davers, were she to know the day, should make me an unwelcome visit before it comes, which might give us trouble, I have already ordered my servants to have no conference with any body out of the house for ten or twelve days to come. Mrs Jewkes tells me, every one names next Thursday sevennight for our nuptials. And I will get Mr Peters, who wants to see my little chapel, to assist Mr Williams, under the notion of breakfasting with me next Thursday morning (since you won’t have it sooner) and there will nobody else be wanting; and I will beg of Mr Peters to keep it private, even from his own family, for a few days. Has my girl any objection?’

  ‘O sir,’ answered I, ‘you are so generous in all
your ways, I can have no objections to any thing you propose: but I hope Lady Davers and you will not proceed to irreconcileable lengths; and when her ladyship comes to see you, and to tarry with you two or three weeks, as she used to do, I will keep close up, and not enter into her presence.’

  ‘Well, Pamela, we will talk of that afterwards. You must do then as I shall think fit: and I shall be able to judge what you and I ought to do. But what still aggravates the matter is, that she should instigate the titled ape her husband to write to me, after she had so ill succeeded herself. I wish I had kept this letter, that I might have shewn you how a man who generally acts like a fool, can take upon him to write like a Lord. But I suppose it is of my sister’s penning, and he, poor man! is the humble copier.’

  TUESDAY

  My master has just now been making me play upon the harpsichord, and sing to it; and was pleased to commend me for both. But he does so for every thing I do; so partial does his goodness make him tome.

  One o’Clock

  We are just returned from an airing in the chariot; and I have been delighted with his conversation upon English authors, poets particularly. He entertained me also with a description of some of the curiosities he had seen in Italy and France, when he made what the polite world call the Grand Tour. He said he wanted to be at his other seat; for he knew not well how to employ himself here, having not purposed to stay half the time. ‘When I get there, Pamela,’ said he, ‘and we are settled, you will hardly be troubled with so much of my company, as I give you now; for I have a great many things to adjust: and I must go to London; for I have accounts that have run on longer than ordinary with my banker there. And I don’t know,’ added he, ‘but the ensuing winter, I may give you a little taste of the diversions of the town for a month or so.’ I said, That I never would encourage a wish after any entertainments that were not of his own choice.