by Sandy James
Oh, how she wanted to share all of their son’s changes with Caleb! Isaac smiled now, especially when she blew on his fat little belly. For a child so tiny at birth, he fattened up quickly and ate as though there were no tomorrow. Soon she’d have to add something heartier to Isaac’s diet. Breast milk wouldn’t be enough for the growing boy.
A tear fell from the corner of her eye, but she quickly swiped it away and straightened her spine. Each day that passed took a chip out of her hopes that her husband would return. Gideon had found Caleb and told Sara that her husband was well. She had no doubt Gideon had tried to talk Caleb into coming home. Clearly that discussion had been unsuccessful.
At first, she’d prayed the time alone would give him some clarity. Maybe when he was alone up there in that cabin he’d realize what he’d lost and decide to come back to her. And forgive her.
There was only one thing to do. Work harder. She’d have to show him what an asset she was. She would have to prove the farm meant every bit as much to her as it did to him.
And that’s that.
When she stepped out on the porch, Drake was riding up the road. She had tried so many times to convince him she was fine. Unfortunately, he saw right through her pretense. There was just too much work for one person. But if she didn’t keep the farm running by herself, would her efforts still atone for her sins? If they didn’t, how would she ever get Caleb to come back to her?
Drake was grinning from ear to ear.
“You look like a fat cat who ate a bird, feathers and all,” Sara said after he came over to tweak Isaac’s nose, making the baby smile.
“Don’t know about that,” he drawled. “But got some news.”
She set her son in the peach crate and then put her hands on her hips. “Out with it.”
“I sold those calves for you.”
As a way to raise the money she needed for a new windmill, Sara had asked Drake to make inquiries into selling the two calves. There were already plenty of milk cows, and one bull was all they needed. So despite the fact she was strongly attached to the babies she’d helped deliver, she needed the funds their sale would bring.
But was the money for the sale going to be enough?
“For how much?” she asked, holding her breath.
“Well, I know you’ve got your heart set on that new windmill...but...” He shook his head and glanced away.
“I don’t want that windmill, Drake. I need that windmill.” The egg money was good but not nearly enough for the supplies she’d need for construction. She’d gambled on selling the calves. They were about the only asset she could sell.
That thought made her frown. She’d used all the cash Caleb had in the cabin to pay back the funds she’d stolen. Although he’d told her he was rich, she didn’t know where he kept his wealth, nor would she touch another penny, only taking what she needed to help pay back Drake. This predicament was entirely her fault.
Everything was her fault.
She hung her head.
Drake nudged her chin up with his finger. Then he grinned. “I got enough for your windmill.”
Sara let out a happy squeal and threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
An enraged bellow echoed from the hillside, the sound sending a chill racing the length of her body.
Drake quickly shoved her behind his back as a rider came charging down the steep slope, moving too fast for safety. Only when the horse reached the flat ground did Sara stop worrying about whether the daft man would break his neck or his horse’s legs.
The rider let out another shout, and recognition made Sara dig her fingers into the back of Drake’s vest. “It’s Caleb.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.”
When she tried to skirt around him, Drake pushed her back. “Well, I ain’t sure it’s safe.”
“Safe? Of course it’s safe. Caleb’s my husband.” She forced her way around Drake and hurried to pick up Isaac, ready to face her husband and finally have things out. But first, he needed to greet his son.
Drake came to stand at her side. As fast as Caleb was riding, she figured it was better if they stayed on the porch, worried he wouldn’t be able to stop his charge and would trample them all.
“You bastard!” Caleb threw himself off his horse and hit the ground running. “Get your goddamn hands off my wife!” He launched himself up the stairs, wrapped his arms around Drake’s waist, tackling him. They rolled around, dropping off the porch and landing with a thud on the grass.
The battling men became a tangle of arms and legs. Punches were thrown, and all Sara could do was scream for them to stop. Her shrieks made Isaac wail every bit as loudly.
Thank God, Ty chose that time to ride up the lane.
“Ty!” she hollered. “Hurry!”
Her brother prodded his horse into a gallop and made it to the house quickly. Not that it mattered to Caleb or Drake, they were still pounding each other, their spit, sweat, and blood flying in every direction.
“Sweet Jesus.” Ty jumped off his horse and raced to the scuffling men. He tried several times to break them up. After getting hit himself a couple of times, he stepped back, drew his gun, and shot it in the air.
The terrifying sound had the proper effect. The fighting men jerked apart.
Ty grabbed Drake’s collar to drag him farther away from Caleb, who knelt there glaring at them both as he tried to catch his breath.
“What in the hell is going on here?” Ty asked, his gaze shifting from Caleb to Drake and finally to Sara.
Caleb clenched his sore hands into tight fists, ready to go right back at the son-of-a-bitch who’d dared touch Sara. His rage was focused on Drake, yet he felt not a single bit of anger at his wife. She was a victim—had always been a victim—of circumstance.
Sara was a survivor.
Drake, on the other hand, was clearly taking advantage of her vulnerability at being out here all alone.
Struggling to his feet, Caleb narrowed his eyes at his rival. “Get up and fight like a man.”
When Drake tried to rise, Sara stepped between them and leveled a threatening glare at Drake. “Stay down.”
Without a word of dissent, Drake dropped back on his ass.
She whirled to face Caleb. “You... you...” After letting out a frustrated groan, she stomped to her brother, shoved the baby into his arms, and then opened the door. “Inside, Caleb. It’s time for us to have a long talk.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sara should have been wary of the storm in Caleb’s eyes, but her heart was brewing one of its own. She would have her say, then she’d let him have his.
After that?
Only God knew what would happen to their marriage...
Caleb stood with his arms folded over his chest, his legs braced apart, as though he expected a fight. “What in the hell is that bastard doing here?”
“If you’re referring to Drake, I hired him to be my handyman. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I needed some assistance to keep the farm running. I tried to do everything myself, but...” She shrugged then let out a frustrated, resigned sigh. “I simply couldn’t do it alone, no matter how badly I wished I could.”
“Handyman?” Caleb gave her a rude snort.
She didn’t want to dance around the real issue, but it was taking every ounce of her strength not to rush to him, wrap her arms around him, and beg him to forgive her.
But forgive her for what?
In the time he’d been gone, Sara had come to terms with her past. She’d been dealt so many mortal blows, and she’d made a few terrible decisions. But in the end, all she’d done was try to survive. Surely Caleb had figured that out for himself, and if that was enough for him to condemn her, so be it.
She was stronger now. She was no longer a woman who was nothing but a victim of circumstances. And she had something to live for—someone to live for.
Isaac.
Although Isaac deserved a
father, he also deserved a man who respected his mother. If Caleb couldn’t manage that...
Then he wasn’t the man she thought he was, the man she thought she’d married.
“Are you coming home to stay?” Her question ended with her voice breaking.
It had taken every bit of her courage to ask, but she needed to know. This wasn’t how she’d planned his return. Not at all.
In her fantasies, he would ride up and greet her with a smile. He would take a good look around, see how she’d worked her fingers to the bone to keep the farm running, and tell her what a great job she’d done. His heart would be so full of gratitude that he’d jump from his horse, fall to knees, and beg her forgiveness for having left her in such a lurch—all alone with a newborn baby.
A fairy tale. But life wasn’t a fairy tale, was it?
“I need to know Caleb.” Sara tried to control the panic in her tone. This moment was pivotal. Life changing. If he couldn’t accept her, faults and all, she would have to leave. There was no other choice. The farm belonged to him, no matter how much she wanted it to be her home for the rest of her life. “Are you home for good? Because if not...” With a sigh, she walked to the window, staring out at the hills as she wrapped her arms around herself. “Then I shall have to go.”
“Answer me this, Sara,” Caleb said, his voice rough. “Why is Drake here?”
“I told you he’s—”
“I know what you said. Now I want to know the real reason. Did you bring him here?”
“Certainly not.” The moments clicked by slowly before she realized exactly what he was asking. “He feels...guilty.”
“Guilty?”
Sara turned back to face her husband, needing to see his reactions. If his love for her was dead—lost to her unfortunate past—then she wanted to see it for herself. “He blames himself.”
“For what?”
“For coming here all angry and indignant, shouting accusations. He believes he made me lose my husband and Isaac lose his father.”
He scrunched up his forehead. “Isaac?”
“Our son. I couldn’t abide by him not having a name, so I gave him your father’s.”
Caleb cocked his head. “But Pa’s name was Nebuchadnezzar .”
She tried not to smile at that ridiculous name. “And quite a mouthful that is. I did not wish to constantly misspell my own son’s name, so I gave him your father’s middle name. I’m sorry if that displeases you.”
“I’m not...displeased.” He jerked his hat off and tossed it on the table. His eyes captured hers. “I’m glad you didn’t leave him without a name.”
“It didn’t seem right.” It was hard to hold his gaze. There were so many emotions reflected in those brown eyes, but she couldn’t put her finger on what he was feeling. “You still haven’t answered my question. Are you home for good?”
“What if I ain’t?”
“Pardon?”
“What will you do if I ain’t coming home?”
This was a time for honesty. He had to understand exactly what he’d lose. “This is your farm, Caleb. If you don’t wish to remain my husband, I will pack my things and go.”
“Go? Go where?”
“To stay with Ty and Cassie for now. Then I shall...” Find a job? Head to a big city? “What does it matter? If you don’t want me, if you want to end this marriage...” She had to resist stomping her foot like an angry child. “I thought you were my knight in shining armor,” she whispered.
“A knight? What are you talking about?”
“Never mind. Just never mind.”
A shudder raced through her. She’d worked so damned hard to show him she could be a good wife, that she was more than the baggage of her past. All he had to do was walk around the farm to see it. The animals were fed and well cared for. The garden was planted. Soon, the windmill would be in place. The only chore she hadn’t completed was the flowerbed. For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to touch it, not as long as her husband wasn’t home.
Why wouldn’t he say anything?
“I won’t apologize,” Sara insisted when she couldn’t stand the silence another second. “Not again. I did what I had to do. Can’t you understand that? I would think you’d be more understanding, what with your mother’s history and—”
He shook his head at her. “You ain’t my mother.”
“I never said I was. I simply meant that she’d found herself in similar...circumstances. Your father still married her. He still…” …loved her.
Perhaps that union had worked because Caleb’s father truly loved his mother. Perhaps all of the declarations of love Caleb had given her were nothing but meaningless words.
Perhaps there was no hope for her future with the man she loved.
Still he stared, and she could take no more. “Will you please say something?”
Caleb held his tongue, afraid to answer. The moment he told her everything that was in his heart, he’d have to touch her. And the moment he touched her, he wouldn’t be able to stop until he made love to her. But first, he would take advantage of how freely she spoke.
She was frustrated. Anxious. Those emotions made it harder for her to guard her words, and for the first time since they’d married, she was telling him the truth—the stark naked truth. He reveled in it, knowing honesty would be the only way they could put the past behind them and move forward.
Together.
All he’d needed to make him wise up was seeing Drake pull Sara into his embrace. In that moment, Caleb realized with blinding clarity that he still loved her—probably even loved her more for all she’d been through. Despite the way the world had mistreated her, she’d come out a caring woman, every bit as beautiful inside as out.
When Drake had dared to touch her, something primitive had seized the reins. Caleb wanted no other man to touch her! Ever! She belonged to him! She was his wife!
That’s when he knew that nothing—past, present, or future—should keep them apart. They’d taken vows, promised to stay together through good times and bad until death parted them, and he intended to honor those pledges and to see that she did as well.
Tears spilled over her lashes. “It seems you have nothing to say to me, so nothing has changed. I will get my things together. I’ll need to gather a few things for Isaac, too.”
“You ain’t going anywhere,” he snapped.
She gaped at him before shaking her head. “I am. I have to go. I won’t stay with a man who doesn’t love me.”
Caleb hurried to her and wrapped his arms around her. He was surprised she struggled, but he held tight, even as she slapped as his chest and started crying in earnest.
“Let me go,” she insisted.
“Never,” he replied, his voice husky with emotion. “I’ll never let you go.”
She stopped fighting and looked up at him with wide eyes full of questions.
He gave her his answers by capturing her lips with his own.
The kiss wasn’t sweet. It was rough, passionate, and demanding. He needed her to feel what he was feeling, and he’d be damned if he’d let her leave him. Although she tried to hold her lips tightly shut, Caleb laid his hand against her face and eased her chin down with his thumb. Then he thrust his tongue into her mouth, reclaiming what he feared he’d lost.
Sara’s sigh was her surrender, and he smiled against her lips, gentling the kiss and lazily stroking his tongue over hers. She slipped her arms around his waist and pressed against him. Only then, did he finally relax.
When he ended the kiss, he stared down into her eyes. “I’m sorry, Sara.”
“Sorry?”
“I was an ass. I...I couldn’t handle the jealousy. I was only thinking of myself, not you. Not the baby.” He squeezed her hard, resting his chin on her head. “You only did what you had to. I see that now.”
Her shoulders rose in an exaggerated shrug.
Caleb crooked his finger and lifted her chin. Sara was so beautiful he had to brush another kis
s over her mouth. “It was all too much. Drake came riding up, mad as a hornet, and said... He said all kinds of things.”
“That’s why he’s here now,” she said softly. “He got you all riled up and blames himself for you leaving.”
“You have to understand. I was so damned happy. I had a son. Then he tells me... He says...”
“He told you the baby might be his.” Sara hung her head. “We can never be sure, but—”
“Look at me.”
She took her time obeying.
Holding her gaze, he said, “Don’t matter to me whether that baby was born of his seed or mine. He’s my son. He’ll always be my son. That makes you cry?”
“Of course it makes me cry!”
“I just told you that Isaac is my son, even if Drake put him in your womb.”
Her response was to cry harder.
Even if he lived to the ripe old age of sixty, Caleb would never understand women. Especially this woman. She’d pulled out of his arms, turning her back and crying as though she’d just buried her favorite pet.
Coming up behind her, he snaked his arms around her waist and hauled her back against him. “Why are you cryin’, sweetheart?”
“I was so afraid...” A sob bubbled out.
“Afraid I wouldn’t come back?”
She nodded, bumping his chin.
“But I am back, Sara. I came to my senses and I’m home.”
Since she wouldn’t stop crying, he figured he’d have to show her he was sincere. He ached for her, and he needed to make love to her. Now.
Without a word, Caleb swept Sara into his arms and strode to the bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind him. Then he went about the pleasurable task of removing her clothes.
She had the temerity to give him a disgruntled frown. “You can’t mean to—”
“Oh, I mean to all right. I mean to hard and fast until I hear you scream my name.”