Westley and I exchange looks once again and he shrugs. We’re both lost as to where he’s going with this story, but seeing as how we’re stuck here, we have no choice but to humor him with our attention.
“Anyway, that fall, I was going off to Yale and my father made me break up with her,” he says. “Hardest thing I ever did. Broke her little heart to pieces too.” Granddad pauses. “It’s been almost fifty years, and I still think about her sometimes. But a few months later I met your grandmother. And she was twice the woman Emeline was, and I never looked back. Your grandmother was it for me. And I can’t imagine what my life would’ve been like had I married the girl from the bakery down the street.”
“Good story, Granddad,” Westley says. Kiss ass. “I never knew about this Emeline.”
“Yeah, me neither,” I say. “You’ve never talked about her before. What brought this on?”
My heart races, though I try my best to play it cool. Lila and I have been extremely careful each and every time we’ve met up at the cottage. We do everything by candlelight. We sneak out after the rest of the island is asleep. We erase any and all signs that anyone was ever there.
Granddad shrugs, his hands gripping the steering wheel. “Just felt like something the two of you needed to hear.”
His answer does nothing to quell my suspicions. Granddad is playing coy. I’m well aware of the fact that he’s smarter than he acts, and “manipulative” is his middle name—a fact I always keep in my back pocket.
Chapter 22
Lila
“Hey, we can’t meet up tonight,” I tell Thayer after dinner Thursday night. “Grandma got up in the middle of the night last night to check on me and noticed I was gone. I told her I was outside on the porch and she bought it because apparently she didn’t think to look outside … but I think we should lay low for a while.”
His lips rub together and his brows furrow. “Yeah, Granddad made this weird comment a couple days ago on the boat.”
I gasp. “You think he knows something?”
“God, I hope not.”
Sometimes I love sneaking around and having our own little secret—other times I hate it because at any time, it could be swept out from under us.
“I have to go,” I tell him when I hear my grandma calling for me from the kitchen.
He hooks his hands around my waist and pulls me against him, stealing a kiss that only makes the thought of not seeing him tonight that much more painful.
And then I walk away, trying my damnedest to wipe the ridiculous grin from my face before anyone sees it.
Chapter 23
Thayer
Lila sits cross-legged on a checkered picnic blanket, tying a ring of dandelions into a crown that she places on her head.
“How’s do I look?” she asks.
“Like a dandelion queen,” I say.
She lies on her back, staring up at the puffy white clouds that hover above us in the perfect blue sky. It’s a miracle we managed to pull this off. I packed us a lunch, she brought the blanket, and we took alternate routes to the alcove where we met up at the grassy section just outside the beach.
I lie beside her, resting on my elbow and leaning in to taste her mouth. The sweetness of the strawberries she just ate lingers and the warmth of the sun bakes our skin.
Everything about this moment is perfect.
Over the last couple of weeks, she’s really opened up. She’s not as pessimistic, not as closed off. She answers every question I ask, no matter how intrusive, and she tells me things she’s never told anyone else before. Sometimes they’re painful memories, other times they’re nostalgic stories of her childhood that make her eyes water. She even opened up about her mother’s death, and I let her cry in my arms.
I knew Lila was multi-faceted. I knew she had layers and depth that would take time to peel back, but everything’s happening so quickly, so naturally. Nothing in my life has ever felt so right.
The sunlight kisses her with its warmth.
And I kiss her again.
I’d live in this moment with Lila forever if I could.
Chapter 24
Lila
“Oh, Lila. There you are.” Grandma shoves an empty punch bowl in my arms. “Get started on this, will you? The ingredients are on the counter along with the ratios. When you’re done with that, you can help your grandfather set up the tents by the dock.”
The way everyone is acting, you’d think the president is coming to visit, but nope. It’s just Bertram’s annual Fourth of July Extravaganza.
I head to the counter and find a handwritten recipe on an index card, and then I begin dumping two-liters of soda and frozen sherbet and fruit cocktail and seltzer water into a giant punch bowl.
From what I’ve been told, neighbors from all the surrounding islands boat in for this party, and Bertram hires a professional to put on a fireworks show from the edge of the dock. Supposedly it’s the best one in the area, beating out all the local shows put on by mainland townships, and not only that, but it’s invitation only.
“We’re expecting at least fifty people,” Grandma says, flitting around the kitchen. “And they’re going to start arriving in about two hours.” She digs around in a utensil drawer. “It’s a lot of work, but Mr. Bertram throws the best party around. You’ll see.”
More like his staff throws the party and he takes all the credit …
When the punch is done, I head outside to help Granddad set up the tents, only to find Thayer and Westley also helping. I have to fight like hell to keep the smile from claiming my face when I see Thayer, and my insides are going insane … all butterflies and tingles.
Things with him are getting better by the day, if that’s even possible. For six weeks now, we’ve managed to sneak around and not a single person has caught onto us.
We’ve had a few scares and a couple of close calls, but nothing major. It helps that everyone’s so caught up in their own little world out here. No one’s on edge. No one’s watching for anything out of the ordinary. Every day is a vacation for them and they go about their time without a care in the world. I’ve yet to see Tippi or Lorelai without a glass of pinot or rose in their hands and Ari and Mitchum are connected at the hip, always fishing or enjoying an afternoon sail with Mr. Bertram. By the end of each day, everyone’s so sun-worn and exhausted, they crash early, and with the island being so dark at night and the sound of the ocean drowning out excess noise, sneaking around is ridiculously easy.
“Can I help?” I ask, sliding my hands in my back pockets.
Thayer avoids looking at me, though I can tell he’s fighting a smile just like me. He’s better at this than I am, at acting cool and casual and not showing all his cards—which is funny because you think it’d be the other way around.
“I think we’re about done, kiddo,” my granddad says. “Thank you though.”
Westley and Thayer finish up the last tent and on their way back to the main house, Thayer slips a folded piece of paper in my hand.
Meet me at the cottage at 9 tonight.
Is he insane?
He’s gone before I have a chance to ask him.
There are going to be tons of people here tonight. What if someone sees us? What if he gets stuck in a conversation and can't get away?
I cross my fingers and hope it works out. And I’m sure it will. Seems like when it comes to Thayer, everything always works out.
I sit on the sofa in the cottage living room, waiting for Thayer. It’s a quarter past nine and I’ve decided to give him twenty more minutes before heading out. If he got caught up in conversation or can’t come for whatever reason, it is what it is. I really want to watch the fireworks with him tonight, but ultimately that’s beyond my control.
I wait a few more minutes before pacing by the window, stopping every few seconds to peek out from behind one of the curtains.
In the distance, I see the first firework light the sky, spraying electric reds, whites, and blues into the pitch-dark sky
.
There’s no point in sticking around now. By the time he gets here, the show will be over.
Heading out, I shut the door behind me and make my way down the shadowy path back to the main house. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do … if employees are allowed to mingle and enjoy the party or if we’re supposed to stay hidden and out of sight until it’s time to clean up, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out once I get there and find my grandparents.
I’m halfway back when I spot the outline of a man several yards ahead, and the closer we get to one another, the more I realize it’s Thayer.
“Hey,” he says as his walk turns into a light jog. “Sorry. I got stuck talking to someone.”
More fireworks fill the sky, their colors shading Thayer’s face before they fade to nothing.
“The show’s going to be over soon,” I say.
“No, no. We still have time. Come on.” He takes my hand and before I know it, we’re sprinting up the hill past the cottage until we reach the top of some cliff.
The show is still going, the booms and pops echoing from the dock as the night sky lights with every color in the rainbow.
Thayer slips his hand around the small of my back, pulling me against him. It’s colder up here, windier, but he keeps me warm.
From way up here, you can see everything. The Bertram, The Ainsworth, The Caldecott. The Hilliard Cottage. The dock. The machine shed. The Lila Cottage …
All of it looks so small, so inconsequential.
The fireworks begin to explode faster and faster, several at a time, electric brilliance like nothing I’ve ever seen before.
“The grand finale,” Thayer says as he kisses my forehead.
When it’s over, everything becomes dark again, nothing but smoke and the distinct scent of sulfur lingering in the air.
“What’d you think?” he asks.
“Pretty amazing from all the way up here,” I say. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
“Lila.” Thayer places his hands on my hips, turning me to face him. Under the light of stars, I can tell his expression is stoic, and for a half second, I’m positive he’s about to drop something major on me. “I know we haven’t known each other that long, but there’s something I think you should know.”
I suck in a breath, keeping my inner panic to a minimum.
“I’m falling in love with you,” he says.
I release my held breath, letting his gaze hold mine and letting his words play in my head a couple more times.
“I love you,” he says, his lips dancing into a hesitant grin. “I’ve been wanting to say it to you for a while. Wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”
“I love you too,” I blurt out before rising on my toes and kissing him harder than I’ve ever kissed him before. I’ve never been in love before, but I’m pretty sure this is what love feels like. That can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t function until you see him again feeling that consumes your every waking moment. The kisses that make you feel like you’re dancing on air and the constant fullness in your chest, like it’s two seconds from exploding from sheer excitement that you can’t possibly contain.
“I’ve never loved anyone before,” Thayer says, sweeping a strand of windblown hair off my face as he peers down at me. “Never said that to anyone.”
“Me neither.”
“I love you so much,” he says. “Feels so good to finally say that.”
I press my cheek against his chest, breathing him in as he wraps his arms around me.
This moment is everything.
His love means the world to me.
But at the same time, I can’t ignore the slight ache in my center when I think about the fact that he leaves to go back to college in six weeks.
It’s going by way too fast.
I just want time to slow down or stop altogether.
I miss him when I sleep and he’s just a house away—how’s it going to feel when he’s in a completely different state?
Looking into his eyes, I promise myself not to fixate on that so I can enjoy what time we have left together this summer.
He kisses me, and it quiets my mind the way it always does.
"We should probably go back before they notice we’re missing,” I say a moment later.
Thayer takes my hand in his and helps me down the rocky cliffside. When we reach the cottage, he tells me to go ahead without him so no one spots us walking back alone together.
When I get back to the main house, I spot guests heading to their boats in droves, leaving behind them a giant mess that my exhausted grandparents and I will be cleaning up until midnight tonight I'm sure.
Without saying a word, I grab a trash bag from a nearby table and get to work. From the corner of my eye, I spot Thayer making his way down the path and heading in the direction of The Ainsworth, and then I watch the man I love disappear inside.
Part of me wonders what would happen if we came forward to our families. If they saw us in love, saw how much we cared for each other, they'd have to see that it couldn’t possibly be a bad thing, right?
The other part of me doesn't want to so much as test the waters in case it backfires in our faces.
I have to take Thayer any way I can get him, and for now, all we have are stolen moments.
It won’t always be this way though.
I’m sure of it.
Chapter 25
Thayer
My grandfather blows out the candles on his cake as the rest of my family sings and claps.
Seventy-five years and he’s still going strong.
My mother grabs the cake knife and Aunt Lorelai grabs the plate and Whitley sticks her finger in the frosting to steal a lick and claim her corner piece.
It’s the first week of August, which means I’ll be leaving in two weeks to go back to school. A year ago this time, I was excited, now all I can think about is the fact that two weeks from now, Lila and I will be separated.
To go from seeing her several times a day and sneaking moments with her and spending hours in the cottage in the middle of the night … to nothing … is a transition I’ve spent all summer trying not to think about, but now that it’s almost here, we’re going to have to figure out where we go from here.
She hasn’t brought it up either, which makes me think we’re in the same boat, swimming in the same denial-and-avoidance-filled waters.
Westley takes a seat beside me at the end of a long table on the back patio. The rest of our family is gathered around the birthday cake, dishing out slices topped with vanilla ice cream.
“Hey,” Westley says.
“Hey.”
“So … I … uh … I saw you and Lila the other night.”
I shoot him a look, like I’m confused and I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“You guys were coming down the path by the old nurse’s cottage,” he says, keeping his voice low and leaning in. “It was late. Maybe midnight or so. I know it was you two.”
Shaking my head, I’m fully prepared to deny, deny, deny, but he continues.
“Dude, you're playing with fire here,” Westley says. “You know how Granddad feels about this. He’s warned us both a thousand freaking times to stay away from her. He’ll spaz if he finds out.”
Sucking in a long breath, I adjust my posture and grind my teeth.
“How long have you been sneaking around with her?” he asks, like it’s any of his business.
“What were you doing out at midnight the other night?”
He shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep. Went for a walk.”
“You can’t say a word.” I lock eyes with him.
My whole life, Westley’s been like a brother to me. And a shadow. I’m pretty sure he’d kiss the ground I walk on if I asked him to.
He places his hand over his chest. “I promise.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I,” he says.
“Take this to the grave,” I tell him.
“Dude. I get it.�
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The two of us glance down to the end of the table and his mom waves at us, asking if we want vanilla or chocolate cake.
“You realize what’s at stake here, right?” Westley asks. “If Granddad catches you, he’ll cut you off. Trust me. I speak from experience.”
A year ago when Westley announced he wouldn’t be going to Yale (because he couldn’t get on their lacrosse team) and would instead be attending a private, hole-in-the-wall college in Eastern Pennsylvania, Granddad wasted no time de-funding his college account. To this day, he still refuses to acknowledge the name of Westley’s college—or that Westley even goes to college.
“I don’t think you realize how much control he has over every single person in our family,” Westley says.
“No, I’m well aware.”
“Then why are you putting your entire future on the line for some girl.”
I shoot him a look. “She’s not some girl.”
He lifts his hands in protest. “All right. Fine. Just be careful.”
“Trust me,” I say. “We’re being careful.”
“What are you going to do when you go back to school in a couple weeks?”
I shrug. “We haven’t talked about that yet.”
“Oh. So it’s nothing serious. You guys are just messing around?”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“So it is serious?” He shakes his head. “Thayer … you realize if he’s not cool with it now, he’s not going to be cool with it ever. And you still have a lot of school left ...”
“I’m not worried,” I say. Things always have a way of working out.
“Yeah, well, maybe you should be.”
Chapter 26
Lila
“You’re sure about this?” Thayer holds a foil packet between two fingers. Apparently he bought condoms back in May when we went to the mainland and he's been carrying one around with him ever since. He claims when I confessed to him that I was still a virgin and I’d only ever fooled around with guys before, he wanted to take it slow and make sure this is what I really wanted before he went for it.
For Lila, Forever Page 10