by Fanny Finch
“You make me want to try a lot of things. You make me want to try to be kinder. To be more understanding of others. You make me want to forgive the transgressions of those around me.
“You make me want to recite poetry. You make me want to dance for hours. You make me want to try to be gentler with my words.
“In short, I think that you make me want to try to be a better person. And I could not ask for more in a companion. Someone who challenges me to be better and yet loves me for who I am… it is such a rare and pleasing combination that I hardly know what to do with myself.
“I can only ask your forgiveness in being such a fool for so long. But now that I have come to realize how I feel, nothing could be plainer to me.
“I wish to always have you by my side. Not being with you all last night at the ball, not even getting to dance with you once, was torture to me. I missed you as one might miss a limb.”
Maria could hardly believe her ears. What was he saying? This did not at all sound like a man who was about to reject her. But could she allow herself to hope? Could she be that daring?
Lord Reginald continued onward. It was as though he was a man pushing through a snowstorm in order to reach home. No matter how difficult it became, he must endure. He must finish and reach his goal.
“I can only hope that you will forgive me for my behavior and my lack of awareness—indeed, my lack of sense. And I can only hope that you will now believe me when I say that despite my utter idiocy, I do… I am…”
Lord Reginald paused. He stared out ahead of him for a moment, then, as if gathering up his courage, squared his shoulders and turned to face her.
Maria was caught, held in place, by his expression. He looked terribly vulnerable. It was a look that she had never beheld on his face before. His eyes, although gentle, bored into hers. He took each breath as though it might be his last.
“You must believe me, Miss Worthing,” he said, his voice soft and low, “when I tell you that you are the dearest creature in the world to me. I love you. So deeply, indeed, that I did not even notice it and now it has become intertwined with the very core of my being.”
Maria felt as though a strong enough breeze might blow her over. She was in shock. It was everything that she had wanted to hear and yet it was so unexpected that she did not know what to do.
“I love you,” Lord Reginald repeated, this time in an even softer voice. “And I wish—above all other things—to make you my wife. If you will have me.”
Maria’s heart was thudding in her ears. She wasn’t sure if she was going to start laughing hysterically or burst into tears. He loved her? He loved her. He loved her.
Out of all the people that he could have chosen, he chose her. Lord Reginald, a duke, a man with education and money and wit and a title to boot. A man handsome enough that he most likely could still have gotten any woman he wanted even if he didn’t have all the rest.
And he had chosen her. Not any of the far more eligible ladies of his acquaintance.
She knew that he would never jest about a thing like this. Otherwise she would have suspected this of being some kind of awful prank. Because how could it be true?
Yet, it must be.
He was saying that he loved her, and now he was…proposing to her.
Lord Reginald made a face of frustration, although it seemed to be frustration at himself. “I fear I have not said it as I should. I must make it official.” He smiled at her. “You must forgive me—this is my first proposal.”
Maria laughed at that, quickly clapping a hand over her mouth. But it seemed that laughter was what he had wanted from her, for he smiled.
“Miss Worthing,” he started, and then corrected himself. “Miss Maria Worthing. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
Epilogue
Edward felt as though he could hardly breathe. It was as if someone had put his lungs into a vice.
Miss Worthing stared at him for a moment, her dark eyes wide and soft. She seemed to be torn between joy and shock and, perhaps, something else, for it looked almost as though she might cry.
“I…I do not understand,” she said quietly, almost as though she were speaking to herself and hadn’t realized the words had been said out loud.
That was an understandable statement for her to make. “How can I help you to understand?” he asked.
“It is only that…” Maria scrunched up her face, as if thinking, before meeting his eyes again. “You could have anyone that you wanted.”
“Perhaps.” He did not wish to float his own boat too much. There were sure to be other ladies out there who for one reason or another were not inclined towards him.
“But I’m…” Maria gestured at herself.
Edward shook his head. “Exactly. You are you.”
He gently took her hands in his, as he had so often wanted to, and now knew why. “You are as honest and forthright a person as I have ever met. Even when you make a mistake, your intentions are pure and you own up to your mistakes and vow to do better.
“You see kindness around you. You believe the best in people. You listen to them and care about their interests and their accomplishments.
“You are a highly capable young woman. You ran an estate for years in order to help your father. And I know you worry about him constantly.
“I could not picture a better woman, one more suited to be my wife. You have all of the traits that I have said I wished for in a life partner. And here you were, right in front of me this entire time. I was merely too blind to notice it until last night.”
A lovely blush, deeper than any of her previous ones, worked its way into Miss Northing’s cheeks. “You flatter me, sir.”
“Do you not believe me, then?”
“I am afraid that my belief in my own worthiness might take some time,” Miss Northing acknowledged. “But I cannot bring myself to disbelieve your declarations. Most likely because I do not wish to disbelieve them.
“Surely you must know how I feel. How I have felt, for some time. I know that I have most likely been the most obvious of fools.
“My esteem for you could hardly be hidden. Many people have commented upon it. Even your dear sister knows. In fact I was certain that you had figured it out and were taking me on this walk in order to let me down gently.”
“Let you down?” Edward stared at her, agog. “No, the farthest thing from that. And I can assure you that I did not notice a thing. I was completely unaware of your attachment.”
“But I was such a fool over you!” Miss Worthing said. She sounded confused, amused, and dismayed all at once. “Why, even Miss Hennings commented on it!”
“Miss Hennings, I fear, has been let off too easily,” he grumbled. He should have given her the verbal thrashing she deserved.
Miss Worthing squeezed his hands. “Please do not attack her for my sake. You know she really is a sad creature. I hope that she will find happiness someday. For she must be quite unhappy herself to continually try to inflict it upon other people.”
He could not help but smile just a little. “I was thinking along quite similar lines last night, in fact. When she came up to congratulate me upon my engagement to you.”
“She truly said that?” Miss Worthing was clearly amused now, although also astonished. “And with no official announcement. The nerve of her. But I confess I am more entertained by it than anything else.”
“As am I.” And then Edward realized—Miss Worthing had not officially responded to his question. “Am I to assume that I ought to put a formal announcement into the papers?”
Miss Worthing gave him a sly look, one of hesitant joy. “Yes, I do believe that you ought to. But you must forgive me, this is my first acceptance of a proposal.”
He smiled helplessly.
Miss Worthing cleared her throat, squaring her shoulders and speaking in a most official voice. “Yes, my lord, I accept your proposal.”
He laughed and offered her his arm. “Then this walk has bec
ome infinitely more pleasant.”
She took his arm, leaning into his side. “How on earth did you discover that you had feelings for me? How could you not have been aware?”
“I mistook it all for protectiveness, since I was your escort,” he replied, feeling somewhat sheepish. “I never took the time to properly examine any of my feelings. I merely… brushed them off.
“It wasn’t until you were no longer at my side that I realized how you were usually by it. It was your absence that convinced me. I had not realized until then how much I had grown used to your presence.”
He shook his head. “No, that is not right. I had not merely grown used to it. I relied upon it.
“And then I saw you dancing with all of those other men, and could not claim you for myself. And it stirred up a jealousy within me that I had never before known.
“I realized that in looking at you, I felt the same pull towards you that I feel towards my home in the country. The same pull that I get when I am returning to my bedroom after a long day. That warm sensation of safety and being settled. Yet you were not a place, you were a person.
“When I spoke to my sister about it, she had quite a lot to say to me about my behavior.”
“Oh dear,” Miss Worthing said, smiling. “I am certain that she did.”
“She told me my behavior had, this whole time, been as one who is courting a lady. That already many people assumed a proposal was forthcoming if it had not happened already.
“That was why, or so I was told, none of the other men had made a move to call upon you or do anything besides enjoy your company during a dance.”
Miss Worthing gaped at him. “Is that why? And—oh, that must be why there were all those significant looks between the older ladies. Oh, what fools we have both been! I had not the faintest idea either.”
“At least you knew your own heart. I did not. Not until last night. And by then I feared that I had lost you. I worried that my temper and the charms of other men had already done too much damage.”
Miss Worthing put her hand on his arm, her eyes very dark and very serious. “You will never lose me,” she promised.
It felt as solemn as a marriage promise. And Edward knew that she did not say such a thing lightly. “And you will always have me,” he replied.
Now he was anxious to get home, despite the loveliness of the park. He wanted to be in private with her, wanted to discuss things now that they were on the same page and their hearts were open to one another.
But he could not rush her by cutting through the park. It would elicit stares, if nothing else. So he kept them at their leisurely pace.
He answered her questions as best he could, about how and when and where. And she did the same with him. The more that they talked, the more certain he grew. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with this woman.
“Your sister must have been quite firm with you,” Miss Worthing laughed at one point.
“She was, quite so,” he replied, smiling. “She was astounded that I had no idea of how I had been behaving. She would, I think, have been more amused at the whole affair if she had not been so worried about you as well.”
“She is too kind to me,” Miss Worthing replied.
“I fear that she is too kind to me as well. I probably deserved a good smack with a newspaper for my sheer stupidity.”
Miss Worthing laughed again. He loved that he could make her laugh. “My father will be dreadfully pleased. He so longs to meet the both of you.”
“And I long to meet him. I really ought to get his permission before anything else moves forward.”
“He will not hesitate to give it,” Miss Worthing assured him.
They continued to talk until they exited the park, at which point they both fell silent. It was so different from the silence they had shared on the way to the park.
Edward now understood why it had been such an odd silence. He had, of course, been plenty nervous himself about it. But he had not realized at the time that poor Miss Worthing thought that he was orchestrating this in order to tell her that he knew of her feelings for him and did not return them.
How ironic, that the truth was actually the opposite.
They reached the house and entered the foyer, and Edward could hold himself back no longer.
“I know that propriety must be observed and that I must obtain your father’s permission and all the rest,” he told her. “But I must profess a most profound and overwhelming desire to kiss you.”
Miss Worthing blushed quite prettily once again, and then grasped his hands in hers. “I suppose that I can let my fiancé kiss me, at least the once.”
And so he did, just the once, softly, feeling his chest fill with warmth.
When he pulled back, Miss Worthing was smiling at him, her eyes bright with happiness.
He resolved to make it so that her face would always hold such joy.
The Extended Epilogue
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A Love Worth Saving
Chapter 1
Georgiana tucked a lock of wayward blonde hair behind her head as she surveyed the guest list.
Poor Maria was looking forward to the wedding, as all girls in love do, but she still had next to no idea how to plan one.
She was doing her best, of course. But when it came to the guest list she was at an utter loss as to who all should be invited.
It didn’t help that Maria’s fiancé and Georgiana’s brother, Edward, was the Duke of Foreshire. Occupying one of the most prestigious positions in the land, his wedding was not merely a gathering of family and friends.
It was a social and political gathering as well.
Georgiana had taken on the task of helping to figure out who all to invite. Her future sister-in-law, meanwhile, was focusing on things like flower decorations and her dress.
She didn’t mind helping out. She never had. On the contrary, it made her feel quite useful. Without a husband, helping out her brother with the running of things was all she had to make her feel needed.
Of course, soon Maria would be taking over things. Already Edward had been taking her down to the estate and instructing her on how things were run. Getting her familiar with the servants, all that sort of thing.
Georgiana knew that Maria would do a marvelous job as the mistress of the Foreshire estate. Already Maria had run her father’s plantation in the Caribbean. She had a firm head on her shoulders.
What was more, Georgiana suspected that Maria would like living in the country better than living in London. There was more nature for Maria to sketch and paint. Fewer social gatherings for Maria to worry about. Plenty of heath to take walks upon.
But as much as she looked forward to her brother’s happiness, Georgiana felt a pang of loss.
She did love Maria. Maria was a sweet girl. A lovely girl. And she would make Edward dreadfully happy. In fact, she already did.
But soon, Edward would officially no longer need Georgiana.
It meant she would officially be a spinster.
She could already feel it creeping upon her when out at balls and dinners. Nobody dared say too much, of course. She was only the sister of a duke. But everyone knew that if Edward caught wind of any unkind word against his sister…
Well. It wouldn’t be pretty.
And so Georgiana knew she was spared some of the more unkind remarks that other older, unmarried women faced.
But it didn’t prevent people from saying anything at all. And she did hear them.
Just the other night she had overheard two ladies gossiping as to how someone such as the sister of a duke could remain unwed.
Was there something
wrong with her? they asked one another.
Could it be that she was in disgrace, and that part had simply been covered up?
Had her father arranged things so that she had no inheritance?
Was her personality so abhorrent that even the enticement of riches was not enough to sway any man?
Perhaps she was ill, and would soon die, or could not bear children?
On and on it went. Georgiana was glad that she had never cried easily. Unlike poor Maria, whose emotions you could see as plain as day on her face.