“Casket or cremation?” she started.
I thought about that for a long moment.
“My mother never said that she wanted to be buried,” I admitted. “Which one is cheaper?”
A sound came from the couch beside me and I turned my head to see Castiel’s eyes wide.
“What?” I asked.
“Your dad is rich. If you want to cremate her, fine. But don’t do it because it’s cheaper,” he said.
I thought about that and shrugged. “I didn’t want to use his emergency credit card to pay for my mother’s funeral. He’d have to see it and be reminded of it all over again.” I shook my head. “And I don’t have ten thousand dollars to pay for the cost of the funeral that I know is more expensive.”
“If you know which one is more, why’d you ask?” he teased.
“Because I wanted to get the full customer experience?” I teased back. “And because I knew that Jubilee was about to offer the entire thing for free, and I wanted to give her a hard time.”
“I am offering it for free,” she said. “Employees get free services, too. I can’t offer anything else incentive wise since my business is death. I guess I could start giving away holiday hams.”
“What would I do with a turkey?” I questioned her. “And a ham wouldn’t fit in the freezer of the RV anyway.”
Castiel chuckled.
“Sometimes the way your mind works astounds me,” he informed me. “Did she talk to your dad about what she wanted to happen to her once she passed away?”
“No,” I said. “He told me to do what I felt was right.”
“Then do what you feel is right,” he suggested.
Jubilee’s smile was soft as I turned back to her.
“I think cremation,” I told her. Then narrowed my eyes. “And no, you can’t pay for this. I’m paying, end of discussion.” Then she shifted in her seat and completely changed the subject. “When I die, I want to be cremated. I also want my ashes to be spread in every state capital in the southern states.”
“Why just the southern states?” Castiel butted in again.
I turned once again to look at him.
“Because they’re closer than the northern states.” I shrugged. “And the only ones that I’ve been to.”
He nodded as if that made perfect sense.
I turned back to Jubilee.
“I want to be floated out onto a raft in the middle of the lake, and then my body set on fire all Viking style,” Jubilee declared.
“I want to be spread off the back of the Sea Blaster,” Castiel said. “I used to go there when I was a teen with my parents. The boat ride was the best fun I’ve ever had.”
“What’s the Sea Blaster?” I turned my chair this time so I didn’t have to keep turning just my head.
“It’s a racing boat that’s parked at one of the docks in Destin, Florida,” he said. “You buy tickets on it, and the boat races you around the Gulf. It’s lots of fun.”
I smiled at his recounting.
“I’d like to do that,” I admitted.
His eyes smiled as they met mine. “I’ll take you.”
I felt things in my belly start to flutter, then my mood soured.
“We were going to Disney World,” I said. “She was so excited. She’d never been, and when we were babies, Dad was too busy with his racing career to take time off to take us. This would’ve been all of our first times.”
There was silence for a few long seconds, then Castiel said, “I’ve never been to Disney World. I’ll go to that with you.”
I grinned at him just inviting himself on a vacation with my family.
“My dad, my brother, my aunts and uncles, as well as our cousins are going,” I told him. “You’d drive yourself nuts in just a few short days.”
He shrugged. “Just know that when we go to Destin, Florida, it’ll be much the same. My dad can’t stop himself from going. It’s like half of his heart lives there, and half of his heart lives in Texas. The second he hears that I’m headed down there, he’s going to be inviting himself along.”
“Y’all do realize that y’all hated each other about a week ago, right?” Jubilee butted in.
I looked at my best friend to see her face a mask of confusion.
I didn’t blame her confusion.
I was confused myself.
But I was also the type of person that just went with the flow. It wasn’t like I was going to tell Castiel to stop hanging out with me. I wanted him exactly where I was. I also wanted to go to Destin, Florida now and ride the goddamn Sea Blaster. So sue me.
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “But that was a week ago. This is now.”
Castiel grunted and repositioned his leg, a look of discomfort on his face.
“I think I need to get a look at this stab wound later,” I mumbled. “Are you sure it’s not infected?”
He shook his head and said, “It’s not. I had it checked out this morning before my run.”
I rolled my eyes. “It was the run, wasn’t it? That was a dumbass move.”
His eyes locked on mine. “I’m not a dumbass.”
“Only dumbasses would run on their wounded leg,” I pointed out.
“Children,” Jubilee said. “Let’s get back to what we were doing before.”
I didn’t want to get back to what we were doing before. I wanted to never get back there.
And my thoughts must’ve shown on my face because Castiel kicked me with his free leg.
“Cremation,” he urged.
I sighed and looked to my best friend. “Cremation.”
That was how it went for the next hour. Castiel would offer his thoughts and opinions, and I would take his advice.
By the end of it, I’d spent three thousand and five hundred dollars on cremation, a memorial service, and flowers.
“The only thing we have to do now is hammer down a time,” she said. “There’s no rush since we’re cremating. You’re sure that you don’t want to do a visitation?”
I was already shaking my head. “I know that you embalmed her for me, but I just don’t think I can do it. I don’t want to see her like that. I want to remember her how she was, full of life and hope.”
I’d barely gotten a glimpse of her at the hospital, and even that would haunt me for the rest of my days.
I didn’t want to go in there and pretty her up. I didn’t even want Jubilee doing it, even though I knew that she would’ve done it happily.
I also didn’t want my dad to have to go through that—seeing her lying there, looking like she was asleep.
“All right.” Jubilee sighed and put down her pen. “That’s it then.”
I swallowed hard.
“I want to wait for my brother to get here,” I said. “He won’t expect us to wait, but I want to. He needs the closure, and I’m fairly sure that he’s going to ask to see her the moment that he gets here. So be aware of that.”
Jubilee nodded her head. “I know. And I’ll be here when he does.”
“But what about your honeymoon?” I asked, horror washing over me.
“Zee and I don’t need a honeymoon,” she said. “We’ll get to the beach…in fact, I’m thinking we need to go to Disney next year with y’all.”
I felt my lips twitch. “He’s going to love that.”
Jubilee shrugged. “He’ll love it because I love it.”
That’s what I wanted.
They were my goal in life—to have someone that loved me like Zee loved Jubilee.
I looked over at the man, Castiel, and thought long and hard about continuing to lean on him.
Castiel didn’t strike me as the type that stayed for long. He was jaded, secretive, and unwilling to ever go there again.
And I say ‘again’ because I knew that, at one point, he was married.
I was reminded of the fact last night when I’d heard him on the phone talking.
Out of everythi
ng that I’d heard—which wasn’t much because he was being super quiet as he spoke—I’d only heard the ‘you’re not my wife anymore’ before he stayed silent for a really long time. Obviously listening to whatever this ‘not wife anymore’ had to say.
But that’d been all I’d heard the rest of the conversation, then he’d gone off and run like his life depended on it, coming back an hour and a half later, sweating and much less cranky. While also limping.
Needless to say, I had a feeling that Castiel wouldn’t be sharing his woes with me anytime soon. He may comfort me—and fuck me—but he wouldn’t give me more than that.
The sad thing was that I’d take what I could get. And if that meant having him come to Disney World with me, and also going with him again to Florida at some point next year? Well, then I would take it.
Because I was a glutton for punishment, and I liked the hurt better than nothing at all.
See, I’d had nothing for all my life. I’d gotten no attention from anyone—except for the negative kind. I’d never been kissed—except for on a dare. I’d never been hugged by a man that wasn’t related to me. I’d never been loved by a man. I’d never had anything.
So yes, having Castiel give me even what little he had to give was more than I’d ever gotten.
And I was okay with that.
“Yo,” Castiel said, sitting up from his sprawl. “You okay?”
I blinked and smiled—or tried to anyway—and shrugged. “My mind went away from me for a few seconds.”
His eyes narrowed. “Tell it to come back.”
I chuckled under my breath. “Yes, sir.”
He gave me a grin that made my heart race.
“I have to go back to work…you’ll be okay?” he asked carefully.
I nodded. “I have a ton of work to catch up on here, and my other job won’t wait much longer on my edits.”
He frowned. “What do you do for your other job?”
That was when Jubilee started laughing.
Castiel’s eyebrows went up in concern. “I’m not going to like what you do, am I?”
I snorted. “Let’s just say I’m going back to my own place today, and I won’t stop you from coming over, but you might want to stay away if you don’t like porn.”
Castiel stood from his couch and offered me his hand.
I took it, and he pulled me up to standing.
“Walk me to the door,” he ordered. “I have to go back to work. I also brought you some lunch, but I left it in my saddlebags. It should still be okay though since I put a cold pack in the bag with it.”
I frowned. “What kind of lunch?”
He winked at Jubilee as we left, and I stayed with him as he practically dragged me down the hallway.
“I was eating lunch before we came, discussing the case, and saved some of my food for you,” he said. “It’s a half a taco and a small salad from Mi Casitas.”
My stomach rumbled at that news.
I hadn’t been eating all that great over the last couple of days, and my stomach was letting me know.
It was also sweet that Castiel had saved me some of his lunch.
Sometimes I got glimpses of the man that he was, the man that, for the most part, he hid away. And I could easily fall for that man.
But the man he put on as a front I had a feeling wouldn’t ever allow me to do that.
When we got outside, he took my hand in his and led me to his bike, stopping beside it and dropping my hand as he did.
When he turned around with a small to-go box in his hand, I melted slightly.
“Thank you,” I said. “My mom used to send me over food from Waitr. She knew that I sometimes forgot to eat.”
He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear as he said, “I order twice the amount of food as most people. But I don’t always finish it all. You’re more than welcome to my leftovers any time you want it.”
I blushed slightly. “That’s kind of sweet, Castiel.”
His eyes went over my shoulder and he frowned.
I turned to see what he was looking at to see some man leaning against his car in the funeral home parking lot, toward the back where sometimes the people that worked in the next building over used when there weren’t any spots in their parking lots.
“What?” I asked.
“That guy was looking at us,” he muttered. “Keeps glancing up every few seconds.”
I patted his hand that was now on my shoulder, pulling me closer.
“It’s probably just one of the employees that works at that insurance company over there. Sometimes they use our parking lot—which they know they’re not supposed to do. He’s probably just worried you’re going to ask him to move,” I explained.
He clenched his jaw, eyes staying on the man for a few long seconds.
I was sure that he would continue to stare him down, but Easton walked up from behind us and said, “Ready?”
I startled and looked at the quiet, intimidatingly sexy man that had moved so stealthily. “He’s ready.”
Easton’s eyes sparkled for a few long seconds before he said, “Glad that he has your permission to leave, ma’am.”
Castiel stiffened at the words.
I scoffed. “Castiel does what he wants when he wants. I’m not the boss of him, nor do I control him.”
At my words, Castiel once again loosened his body, but before I could question him about the move, he was straddling his bike. “Call me if you need me, Sunshine.”
I rolled my eyes at his use of that word. He’d called me that the day that he’d pulled me over and given me a ticket. I hadn’t liked it then, not at all.
But now? It wasn’t that bad.
“Have a good day, Cas,” I whispered.
Castiel’s eyes twinkled as he said, “Murder and mayhem. Always a way to ensure that a good time is had by all.”
With that, he started his bike. Easton, at some point during our conversation, had walked over to an obviously unmarked police cruiser and gotten inside.
Within seconds of his goodbye, both men were gone.
I watched them go until they were completely out of the parking lot and out of sight.
Only then did I think about the man that’d been leaning against his car.
But when I looked back, he was gone, too.
His car was still there, though.
I thought about reporting it but chose to leave that for another day.
I had more than enough on my plate at that moment in time.
Chapter 13
I’m not a morning person or a night person. There are a few minutes at around three o’clock that I’m a decent person, and that’s it.
-Castiel to Turner
Castiel
“You headed home?” Easton said as I stood up with my trash in my hands.
“Headed to Turner’s place.” I shook my head. “I want to make sure she’s okay.”
Easton nodded and gathered his own trash as well. “That’s good for me. I’m ready to get some shut eye, anyway. This case is quite suffocating with no leads to follow, and only a hunch and instinct to guide me. My mental game needs to be recharged with a good night’s rest.”
I agreed.
“I’ll be back in the morning, though,” I said. “Let me know if you need anything between now and then.”
Easton waved me away. “I won’t be bothering you. Anything that comes up besides another murder is something we can take care of in the morning with fresh eyes.”
Agreeing with him, I left and drove straight to the lake. Unfortunately, when I got there, the gates were closed, so I had to park outside the gates and walk in.
I was about a quarter of a mile from where Turner parked her RV, and I could see the behemoth lit up like a shrimp boat in the middle of a pitch-black ocean when I saw the man leaning against his car smoking a cigarette.
He was located in the park/day play area that usually closed around dusk
every evening.
“How’s it going,” I mumbled as I walked.
He grunted in reply, and I took that as a ‘don’t talk to me’ and kept walking toward Turner’s door.
Which happened to be why I heard the voices coming from the inside of the RV when I got to the front door.
I was sure, had I come up on my bike, she would’ve shut that shit down the moment she’d heard me.
But I’d surprised her.
Frowning at the moans and groans that I could hear rocking the trailer, I pounded hard on the door and waited for her to open it.
She did moments later.
The sound shut off immediately.
My eyes raked up her body.
She didn’t look turned on. She also didn’t look like she’d been watching porn only two seconds before.
Her cheeks weren’t flushed, and she sure as shit didn’t look aroused in the slightest.
She was wearing sweatpants that were three sizes too big for her, a t-shirt that looked like it belonged to her dad, and a pair of slippers that were little kitties with vampire fangs.
She was also wearing reading glasses.
Oh, and her hair.
It was a riot of curls all around her face, the springy mass going this way and that.
I couldn’t help but smile.
“You’re having fun without me?” I accused.
She rolled her eyes and pushed the door open wide, then stepped back so I could come in.
“I wouldn’t say that,” she admitted. “I am getting some work done, though.”
That’s when I walked in to see porn paused on the large flat screen above the fireplace. There was a computer in front of the screen, also playing porn, as well as a program opened up with the cursor blinking at the part where she’d paused.
“What the hell?” I asked in confusion.
Turner walked over to her computer and pressed a button, causing the porn to come off both screens.
“I do subtitles for porn.”
I blinked.
Then blinked again.
“You do what?” I sounded as confused as I was.
“I do subtitles for porn,” she repeated, then rewound something on her laptop and played it back. It was on silent, so I didn’t hear the words. Though I did see the subtitles. “Oh, fuck yes. Take me in the cunt. Put your pork sword in there and fuck me.”
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