Two more men did come in, and Jack squeezed himself near the other door, below the seat. One of the men with a red handkerchief over his face pulled it down and looked around at all the scared people.
Who killed Pete? he hollered. There didn’t have to be any killing, all we wanted was your money!
He held a pistol to a man’s head and the woman sitting beside him screamed out, The shot came from back there, and pointed in our direction, then she started wailing.
Shut up or I’ll plug him anyway, said the man. So she just whimpered and sobbed, and one robber stood by the door while the man with his face exposed walked down the aisle. Who shot him? he asked again. No one made a sound. He stopped right in front of me. I had the pistol hid in the folds of my skirt, and set my finger on the trigger real light. The man studied my face a bit, and said to me, You aren’t even scared. What’s the matter, are you blind? All these people are scared to death and you just sit there.
I said to him, I’ve seen your kind before.
He licked his lips and grinned. You know who pulled the trigger on Pete, don’t you? Was it you? Did you shoot him? But you know who did, don’t you? Who was it? I could make you tell me.
No, I said. I don’t think you could. I could feel my little April trembling against my ankle.
The red kerchief man looked at his partner and waved his gun a bit, and the other man said, Everybody off, Now! I could see from the corner of my eye through the window that lines of passengers were standing outside and people all through the car scooted out quickly. Red kerchief leaned in towards me. Everybody off except you, that is. You’re going to tell me who killed Pete. The robber at the far end followed the passengers out.
Someone outside was struggling with one of the robbers who was trying to take something away to steal, and the robber shot the man down right away, and then shot him again through the chest. I couldn’t see Jack anymore, and didn’t try to look his way, as that would give him away to the man in front of me.
I looked the man square in the eyes. You have no need to rob me, I said. I have nothing to take.
There’s a gold ring there, he said. I could even let you keep it, of course, if we could make a bargain. It’s pretty shiny too, looks real, where’s your husband? Would he mind if we made a bargain? One that would keep you alive?
I heard Jack’s voice say, He’d mind like hell, and Jack’s revolver barrel was right against the man’s neck, and when he cocked the hammer it sounded louder than thunder. Stand up slow, Jack said. Hand her that pistol. The man weakly obeyed, and moved away from me. Just then his partner burst back through the door looking excited, and pulled his mask down, then his eyes fell on us and he stopped smiling.
I stood up and aimed my pistol at him, pulling the trigger once to chamber a bullet.
Hah! he said at the hollow click it made, and raised up and aimed at me.
No! yelled the red kerchief man.
I didn’t stop to think, I pulled the trigger again, and hit him in the ear. He let out a howl and dropped his gun, holding his ear with his hand, blood running through his fingers like soap on a washboard.
One of the robbers outside the train hollered in, What’s going on in there Corey?
I aimed at him again and said, Your nose is next.
Jack nudged his pistol into the neck of old red kerchief, and said Answer him, and say the right things.
Fine! called Corey, Just fine, the kid is acting like a fool and shot his own ear off.
Well, I thought, there we were holding prisoners on the inside of a train while all the folks who had sat beside us were prisoners outside and being robbed, and a trunk of some kind was brought out of the caboose and smashed against a rock until it broke open. We saw the men fill their saddle bags with gold, and some women fainted. Some of the robbers talked to each other, and they went and shot one of the engineers then, and starting at the front of the train they began to search each car. They must have realized they were missing a few of their men.
Jack pushed the men into a corner, and said to me, Cover them. Then he said to them with a downright evil look on his face, Move. Just move a little. That’s all it will take, you can see she’s not afraid of sending you to the devil. Then behind me I heard the sharp swishing sound of his saber being drawn, and he picked up the pistols from the men and stuck them in his belt, and waited by the door for the searching robbers. Three of them came in, guns drawn but not aimed at us. Jack yelled at them, Drop the weapons, now! They saw him and began firing at him, and I saw him shoot two of them fast, but miss the third one who hid behind a seat.
Well, Jack just leaned down with his gun and fired under all the seats in a row, and the man yelled out, I’m hit! and then let out with a string of cursing like I never heard in all my days and hope I never hear again.
Get up, Jack said to him.
I can’t, he hollered, I’m hit. I’m dyin’.
And then the man fired a shot at Jack and I saw him spin around quick. He dropped his sword and shot the man again, and again he let out a string of cursing.
You’re not dying, not yet, said Jack, get up! You’re under arrest but you aren’t dead. Yet. The robber struggled to his feet, and I could see he was bleeding from his shoulder and one leg. Jack said, You tell them to leave those passengers be, and put them all on the train, the dead ones too, and leave their things you stole and clear out, or you’ll be dead.
One of the men in front of me shifted around where he was sitting and I pulled back the hammer. I began to think, what if one of these bullets has strayed and hit my April, and she never let out a sound and died under that seat?
I suddenly wanted to hurt these men, to make them scared as I was, so I said to the red kerchief man called Corey, Hair trigger on this here pistol, and you make me nervous. Sweat ran down the man’s head and he was shaking. If my April is hurt I will kill him anyway, I thought. I was filled with a terrible hate, a terrible meanness. I hated these men so much I was afraid of myself more than I was afraid of them. I could stand right here and look them in the eyes and shoot a man dead without blinking.
Do it, Will! called the sweating man in front of me, Do what he said, Will, do it! She’s crazy, Will, do it!
So the man named Will called out the window. There’s a Army soldier in here, says we’re all under arrest. And Clay and Billy and Pete are all shot dead. He’s got a crazy woman with a gun guarding Corey and the kid. He wants you to give them all back their stuff and clear out.
The robbers talked among themselves again for a minute. Hey, Soldier! one of them yelled. What we got us is a Mexican standoff. We got these here passengers, so you let our boys go and carry out the dead, and we won’t hurt anyone else and let you get on your way.
Jack said, No deal. Return the passengers to the train right now.
Hey boys, Will shouted. He’s got a gun to my head, you better talk to him. Then one of the robbers rode up to a man in a conductor’s uniform, and whipped out a pistol and shot the poor man down. I saw Jack’s face go pale, and he flinched. Then I heard a gun fire again, real close, and Will began to scream like a child and holler curses. Let them people go! he cursed again. I’m crippled up bad, he yelled out the window. He’s a shooting off little pieces of me.
Jack said through his teeth, Next one’s your knee.
No! yelled Will, Come on, boys, talk to the man.
One of the robbers hollered back, Will, you’re a coward! Hey soldier, you keep him. We don’t want him anyway!
I had an idea quick. Jack, I said, Tell them he’s got a big sack of gold here he was holding out on them. Five hundred dollars’ worth at least. Jack grinned at me.
It ain’t true! screamed Will.
This man, Jack hollered, dragging Will toward the door and showing him to the robbers, then bringing him back inside so they couldn’t shoot him for us, This man has a sack of fifty dollar gold pieces he took off a banker in here. He wasn’t going to tell you but they dropped all over the floor. And the other
two, Corey and the kid, I saw them put them in their pockets. There’s a thousand dollars in that sack! I was guarding the banker carrying it. I reckon you want to talk to these fellows all right, and I’ll give them to you. You just put those people back on the train.
It’s a lie! Will shrieked.
Jack’s gun sounded again, and Will began to scream. My other foot! He shot my other foot!
The robber outside rode closer to our train car. We think we’d like to talk to those men. What do you want, Soldier?
Ride off, said Jack. Up to that ridge, and you give us time to load up the people and get the engines running. Then when she starts to roll, we’ll drop off your men, and you can have ’em.
Okay, hombre, said the man. It’s a deal.
From where I was, I could see Jack fish into his own back pocket for a minute, and he took out a gold coin and slipped it into the pocket of Will’s bloody pants.
The passengers crowded into the other cars, staying away from ours. The poor dead and hurt ones were brought on too, and the train lurched as the engines fired up. At last it started to roll, and Jack dragged Will back to the door.
I looked at my two prisoners and said, Come on, get up, but they sat like statues.
Don’t shoot us lady, said Corey.
Move, I said.
Hey, tell her not to shoot us, Soldier. We did what you said. We didn’t do anything. I didn’t even want to rob this old train, they made me.
Shut up, said the one they call Kid.
Jack looked back and made a face. Mrs. Elliot, he said, Don’t shoot them, unless you have to.
April! I called out. Are you all right?
Yes, Mama, came a little voice.
Okay, I said, then I turned to them, I probably won’t shoot you then. Get off this train, you sack of filth. All three of the men jumped, Will screamed in pain when he landed, and Jack dragged the bodies to the door and rolled them off. There was blood everywhere, and I finally felt like I took my first breath in an hour.
Sarah, Jack said to me, That was a damned stupid thing I did, and got another good man killed.
No, I told him, you never know how they will react.
You know, he said, most Indians have got more honor in them than those kind. I just nodded. Indians at least won’t turn on their own, nor cry like babies. Sarah, Jack said again, his voice real soft, you did good. Now get me a doctor. And he sat down on the seat near him and rolled to the floor.
I handed April to a kind lady who comforted her and smiled at me with a look of sympathy. And I stayed by Jack’s side, and took his shirt off him and found the place in his side where he was shot. It must have been when he dropped the sword, but I never knew it. Blood had run inside his shirt and clear down his pants into his boot. I undressed him as gently as I could.
One of the old men passengers said he wasn’t a doctor but had helped the Army surgeon in the war, and said, Confederate side, if that matters to you Ma’am.
No, I said, I don’t care which side. He looked at Jack carefully and felt the hole with his finger. The bullet had gone clean through, he said, and there was no smell like it was a gut shot.
I think Ma’am, that he’ll be just fine in a couple of weeks. In the war, we’d have just patched him up and given him a toddy and sent him back to the front tomorrow.
Well, I thought, and you lost the war, too, but I didn’t say it to him.
Jack, I whispered, are you hurting? He nodded, hardly daring to move, and I recognized how that felt to have that kind of pain. Do you want something? A man here has whiskey to help the pain.
No, he said.
I don’t mind, Jack, You don’t have to suffer so, I said. What can I do for you?
He opened his eyes at that and made a face at me. Don’t treat me like a child and give me back my pants. Then he winced in pain again.
Jack, I said, that man there says he thinks you’ll live just fine.
He looked around to see if people were watching us. I hate to pass out like that, damn. Lost too much blood I reckon.
I was feeding his feet into his pants legs. Anybody would pass out being shot like that. Here, can you do these buttons?
Yes, he said. When the day comes I can’t button my own pants I want you to shoot me. But do a better job than you did on that fellow. Shooting his ear, Sarah, I’d say that was a real poor shot.
I know, I said. I suppose I was nervous.
He winked at me, and said, Now quit fluttering over me and give me a shirt. Where’s my Little Bitty?
Safe, I said. You must be all right, you’re giving orders again. I’ll bring her to see you when we get all the mess cleaned up. She has already seen enough blood in two short years of living. I helped him into his shirt, and felt him suck in a hard breath when he moved. Then he leaned back and shut his eyes, and his breath started to come evenly again.
Jack, I said, Don’t you leave me.
He smiled faintly, with his eyes still shut. Not ever, he said.
January 19, 1886
We pulled in almost three hours late, and when we got there, the depot was just buzzing with people curious as to why it was so late. All my family was glad to see us, and most amazed when we got off the train, seeing me in my cloak and April in her fancy duds, and Jack hunched over and walking slow, holding his side.
Some of the folks on the train thought Jack was a hero. Some of them were angry, saying he let the robbers get away with murder and gold in their pockets. Although it never occurred to them that they had cowed to the outlaws, each and every one. And of course, none of them even mentioned that I had stood beside him through the whole thing, but some things don’t count if you’re a woman, and that’s a fact.
Jack got madder than I have ever seen him, when I told Albert to drive us to Saint Mary’s Hospital. Well, I said, there’s this fine hospital just sitting there, and no reason they can’t get a doctor to look at you for a day or two.
So he said, They won’t let you in there if you aren’t a Catholic.
Yes, they will, I said, because you aren’t coming there as a Catholic or a Methodist or a Confederate or a ornery Cavalry soldier! You are coming there as a man with a hole in him where one don’t belong, and they have got a doctor that knows more than that fellow on the train and can at least sew you up. Now keep still, you’re aggravating me!
Jack just pulled in his lip and I saw fire glint in his eye, then he lifted his hand and flinched in pain but saluted me weakly. Yes, Ma’am, General Elliot.
Now, I said, that’s better. Besides, I thought I was a Colonel.
He closed his eyes and leaned back, looking tired and hurt, but he murmured softly, Battlefield promotion. And he didn’t say any more until he got inside and talked to the doctor. They sewed him up fine, and treated him extra well, except he did complain that all they served him was stewed oatmeal to eat.
Mama took April home with her and I stayed to be near Jack. The hospital has let me sleep in the other bed in his room and offered me to eat there too. It isn’t good but it’s filling and bland, for sick folks. I lie here at night and watch Jack sleeping, and help him if he needs to get up. He has a fever, but not too bad.
I began thinking about the train robbery, and how odd I felt, knowing how I could have killed those men in cold blood. Defending myself or someone I know is different than defending my child. I got to thinking that even if I didn’t have a gun, I would tear them apart with my bare hands to save my baby April. I wonder if all mothers feel this way. Suddenly I knew why it is so dangerous to mess with a bear with cubs or any wild animal with babies. I am part and parcel with them when it comes to that. Lord, there is a mountain lion side of me I never knew before.
January 21, 1886
He was glad to get out of there in only two days, and did his best not to complain about the ruts in the road on the way home. He groaned one time, but I didn’t apologize to him, I think he’d rather take his pain without too much sympathy. And I was right, all the insides of my han
ds are open blisters now.
Home at last, and my little ranch house looks mighty plain, but it is home to me and I am glad to see it. Jack is resting on the front porch. The man he hired did a fair job of the place, and Jack asked him to stay on, and promised him to build him a room with a stove. I told him he could have the adobe shed I built, if he wanted it, as it was nice and cool and just needed a stove in the winter and a cot could be built easy enough, so he is agreeable to that. His name is Mason Sherrill, but he says I can call him Mason.
January 26, 1886
True to his word, as soon as Jack was up and around, he was gone back to the fort. I am pregnant and living here on this ranch with a baby girl and a man I don’t know, and my husband has got his worthless and holey hide back to where it can be saluted all he wants. He loved me last night so sweet, I thought surely he had changed his mind, and he swore how he will miss me but he left anyway. Taking up marriage is a good excuse for taking up cursing, I think.
February 4, 1886
Jack will be home tomorrow. I have so much to do, there is a cobbler in the oven for him, and I hope he likes apple as well as peach. Mama gave me a sack of pecans and I have made a pie too, and beat and aired our mattress so it smells fresh. Savannah and Albert and their children are coming tomorrow evening to share supper. I am ironing all my dresses and then I will wash my hair.
February 5, 1886
Jack must have left by midnight last night, for he was here with the morning sun, and he swept in here while April was still asleep and carried me to the bedroom. Jack Elliot, I said to him, I have chores to do.
Aw, he growled, this is a chore to you?
While we had breakfast later, he sat with April on his knee, and she ate potatoes and eggs off his plate, now and then offering him bites.
These Is My Words: The Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine, 1881-1901 Page 26