by T. M. Meek
Once Meredith's car was loaded up with the last of all the items Alex had decided to take with her, Alex reluctantly gave her dad a hug and a kiss and he assured her that they would stay in touch. Unfortunately, it didn't surprise anyone that her mom slept through both the moving of Alex's stuff as well as the goodbyes. She couldn’t even say goodbye to Twinkles and Bubbles as her dad kept them in the backyard and on reserve for Dex. Francis then hurried back to the hospital to catch up on whatever work he could as he had not planned that helping Alex would take as long as it had.
When Meredith and Alex arrived back at the Andrews’ home, Meredith unloaded the car and let Alex get off of her feet and rest her ankle. Meredith put most of Alex's stuff away in Alex's bedroom. As both were too tired and hungry to fix something to eat and more errands needed to be ran, they stopped by an old fashioned, truly family-friendly restaurant and got a bite to eat. After completing all of the errands they could in the short amount of time they had, they returned home and Alex tried to help Meredith make dinner, but she insisted Alex get off of her feet. They had already had a busy day, and Meredith knew Alex needed the rest. Alex decided to sit at the kitchen table and observe Meredith making yet another healthy meal.
Despite her heartache over the drastic and unpleasant changes in her life, Alex enjoyed learning what makes a meal healthy and Meredith seemed to enjoy teaching it. When Uncle Samuel arrived home, although he was quick to give Meredith a kiss hello and a loving pat on Alex's back, it was clear he was tired from working all day. He was ready to eat whatever was ready for dinner. His face showed a five-o-clock shadow. Meredith was also tired but she hid it better than he did and once he noticed that, he decided to offer to take care of all of the dishes for her after dinner. Because he seemed to have a bit more energy after dinner than she did, she gladly took him up on his offer.
Alex couldn't help but to cheerfully pitch in to help with dishes after dinner as she noticed the mutual kindness between her aunt and uncle which gave her the warm feeling of family togetherness she longed for. But Uncle Samuel didn’t let her help long as he too encouraged Alex to rest her ankle and shoulder.
With the dishes done and the kitchen clean, Samuel went into the nearby living room to find Meredith sitting with her feet propped up on a foot rest and working on her schedule for the week. Alex was seated nearby and reading one of Uncle Samuel’s subscriptions to a home design magazine.
"Your kitchen is now sparkling clean, my lady," Samuel smiled as he bowed as a royal servant might do for his royal Queen.
"Thank you," she smiled back.
"Did you want to talk now or did you have something else in mind first?" he asked Meredith pleasantly.
"I think now is a good time," she said still smiling as she removed her feet from the stool and sat up more straight.
Samuel thought for a moment and then said, “Maybe we should have family prayer now and then we can all talk. We can pray for us to discuss the right things for continued harmony here at home.”
Meredith nodded, “That sounds good.” Alex agreed too.
They all bowed their heads and Samuel offered a brief prayer of gratitude for some specific blessings and then asked for help to have a positive conversation together before they all headed for bed. Then he closed the prayer in Jesus’ name and they all said “Amen.”
Samuel seated himself on the couch next to Meredith. He rested his arm along the back of the couch near Meredith's shoulders. Samuel and Meredith looked at one another just before Samuel began to speak to Alex.
"Well, first we wanted to welcome you to our home and as much as we wish you were visiting us under more pleasant circumstances, we know that isn't the case, but we’re still happy to have you as a guest in our home. We really want to do all that we can to help you feel comfortable and welcome here and we feel a good way to do that is to have a short discussion tonight on some ways we can achieve that while also ensuring the continued comfort your Aunt Meredith and I have enjoyed as husband and wife in our own home. So for starters, why don't you tell us some things that you enjoy doing, Alex, for fun?"
"I like to read, listen to my music, text my friends, have friends over or go over to their house, play video games, eat fun food and..." she paused for a moment to think until she remembered, "Oh yeah, swim and watch movies." Alex was still blue as she missed her pets, but she tried to concentrate on the conversation at hand.
"Those all sound like fun things," Meredith agreed.
"Absolutely!" Samuel nodded.
"Hopefully there will be times when we can enjoy some of those things together. How does that sound, Alex?" Samuel asked.
"That sounds great," Alex replied with a rather ho-hum sigh.
"But because we realize that there will be other times when you'll want to do those things by yourself, we thought we could work out a way where you could enjoy doing those things in a way that also works well for Aunt Meredith and I. But before we discuss that, we'd like to tell you some things we enjoy about our home and fun things we like as well, so we can all do things we each like to do and are appropriate while living here together in our home. Okay?" Samuel asked Alex.
"Okay," she replied sounding a little more interested.
Meredith chimed in. "Before your Uncle Samuel and I got married, we sat down and discussed some things we wanted to achieve as goals if we decided to get married. Once we discovered we agreed on so many things and also found this was true over time with various choices we made, we decided to go ahead and get married. One of the things we discussed was how our home would be ran so we could enjoy a peaceful, loving environment that would not only continue to strengthen our marriage but also be a good environment to bring our children into in the future."
"We found that a good way to keep our home and our marriage as harmonious as possible is to have clearly defined, realistic and mutually agreed upon expectations," Samuel added.
"We have a few mottos to help us with that and one of them is basically that uncommunicated expectations are not realistic and are often the cause of a lot of contention," Meredith said. Samuel nodded in agreement.
"So we have what we call a 'Contention Prevention' strategy for our home which is to make sure that as often as we can, we establish clear communication, openly discussing our wishes and expectations and we do so with the understanding that only those expectations that have been mutually discussed and agreed to––in advance––can be considered fair to expect. Does that make sense to you, Alex?" Samuel asked.
"Sure," Alex said truthfully.
"We've created a list of what we call Allowable Strengthening and Productive Activities that can be done here at our home as well as a list of Weakening and Destructive Activities we agree not to allow because we don't want to allow in our home anything that weakens any of us or is otherwise destructive and ultimately counterproductive to achieving our family goal of having a peaceful, harmonious and loving home." Meredith added.
"Now, I bet Alex already knows some of those things that we have on our allowable list. Things that strengthen our family and provide a positive and productive home. Go ahead, Alex. What do you think might be on our allowable list?" Samuel asked.
"Listening to good music? Clean music? Like no offensive language or sexual lyrics?" Alex thoughtfully suggested.
"Absolutely! What else?" Samuel replied.
"Texting friends?"
"You've got it! I text my friends every day. Keep going. What else?"
"Watching good movies––clean ones––and playing good, clean video games?"
"You are absolutely right, Alex. Now let me ask this. Is it okay to do that all day and all night – texting friends, watching movies, listening to music and playing video games? Even if it's all clean forms of entertainment?" Meredith asked intently.
"No," Alex half-laughed as she felt the answer was so obvious.
"Why not? What would happen if we did all those fun things all day and all night, e
very day of the week?"
"We'd get tired and we would never eat," Alex replied trying not to giggle so as to show sincere respect.
"You're right. Is being tired all day and night and never eating day after day after day––is that something that would strengthen us or weaken us?"
"Weaken us," Alex replied. She now had all inclinations to chuckle under control.
"Then should we allow doing those fun things all day and night? Or should we say, 'No. We should never do any of it? Or do you think it's okay to do some fun things only some of the time?"
"We should do some fun things only some of the time," she answered.
"Exactly. I completely agree. But how can we all know when it's okay to watch a movie or text a friend or listen to music or play a game?"
Alex sat and thought. She wasn't sure how to answer.
“When might it be okay to play a video game, for example?" Meredith quizzed.
"When my homework is done and I've asked for permission?"
"That's a very good start."
The three continued to establish various ground rules for what's allowable to do and what wasn't and Alex enjoyed having a say in what's okay to do and what wasn't as well as having a say in what some possible consequences might be for doing things that were not allowed. Alex even suggested that no insults be allowed and that a better choice would be for everyone to look for the good in one another, notice things about people that you honestly like and then pay them a compliment to brighten their day. And if anyone did insult someone else, they should sincerely apologize to the person they insulted so they will actually believe your sincerity when you try and give them a compliment later.
Everyone agreed that was a great idea that would certainly strengthen their family. This was a no-brainer to agree to since insults only wound as people most often try to hide their pain when they are insulted or mocked by someone else. They also agreed to say thank you to one another whenever any of them showed a kindness or respect to them.
As Meredith and Samuel taught and guided Alex as to what might be the best rules and consequences for choosing to do what wasn't allowed, as well as an appropriate reward system for everyone who chose to stick to doing those things that were allowed to strengthen their family and promote family unity, Alex felt a feeling she wasn't used to feeling: family love. Alex quietly smiled as she let this new found family feeling find a welcome place in her heart.
Meredith looked carefully at Alex and asked, "Remember when we discussed limits on music, such as how loud you can play it and how we'd like for you to be respectful and pause it anytime we talk with you?" Alex nodded.
"Well, we also have some conversational allowances that we believe can help keep things respectful, such as using a respectful tone of voice as well as not using any foul language or otherwise offensive words or phrases," Meredith stated.
Samuel then said in an extra polite tone, "So, for example, if you see something on the kitchen table at mealtime that looks unfamiliar to you, don't say (he then suddenly exclaimed) 'What the hell is that?'"
Meredith looked on in shock and Alex tried hard not to laugh.
Samuel returned to using more polite tones as he continued. "Or if you go into one of the bathrooms to use it, and you notice someone didn't flush the toilet, never point at the toilet and yell, (Samuel then pretended to yell in a mock tone of anger) 'Who left this crap in here?'"
Meredith wasn’t thrilled with Samuel’s choice of humor. "Samuel, I think Alex gets the point," Meredith said in a polite voice of warning. Alex could no longer keep from laughing out loud.
Samuel continued. "Or if we're all downtown watching a parade and you see a large float that looks like a big giraffe that's wearing a pink tutu while holding a large axe, don't say..."
"Samuel!" Meredith interrupted him loudly in a chiding tone of disapproval. Alex was practically in tears laughing at the thought of a large inflatable giraffe wearing a pink tutu and holding an axe as ever seriously being included in a large public parade in the city.
"Now look at what you've done. You've got Alex laughing over what really should be a serious subject," Meredith chided him.
"Come on, Mer," Samuel said in a reassuring tone. Calling her 'Mer' was an affectionate way he usually addressed her when he would try and smooth things over if they ever shared a disagreement.
"Alex is a good kid. Neither one of us has ever heard her use foul language in the thirteen years we've known her and I really don't think she'll be starting anytime soon," he continued to assure her.
"That's for sure," Alex tried to say more seriously as she was still trying to stop chuckling.
"Why do you say that, Alex?" Meredith asked curiously.
Alex gathered herself together and stopped laughing so she could respond. "Personally, I always think the same thing anytime I hear someone use really bad language like the four-letter f-word or the s-word or when they take the Lord’s name in vain. You can’t cuss and then think that it somehow strengthens you spiritually to be a better person. That just doesn’t make sense. Cussing is like spiritual noise pollution to those who hear it. When people cuss in an effort to be taken seriously or to try and be popular and liked by others, no matter how much they try to act like they're smart or someone to be feared or liked, their language exposes the truth that they aren't intelligent enough to use a better choice of words to express themselves.
"Their desire to be feared or liked by others who use foul language almost always results in social failure on the outside, with their overall image, and emotional failure inside because the one thing nearly every single human being has in common with another is a deep admiration of those who are strong enough and unashamed to hold themselves to higher moral standards of living and that is most clearly manifested in what we say and especially in what we do––or as in this case, what we refrain from doing, such as using foul language.”
Alex continued. “Having higher moral standards for living is a sure path for success in every area of life. People admire it because they believe living such high standards is one of the hardest things to do since people so often choose the path of least resistance in fear of being mocked for doing what's right. But as anyone who has honestly tried to humbly live a life of higher moral standards knows, that's a lot easier to do than the lower choice in life of hurting yourself and others, which is so often the result of not striving to live a more moral life," Alex said without the least sign of fear because that was exactly how she lived her own life.
Both Samuel and Meredith looked frozen in astonishment at Alex. It was becoming clearer to them both that their niece, Alexis Spring Opalstone, was no ordinary thirteen-year-old girl. She made being good a cool thing to be. No wonder so many kids at her old school liked her so much.
"We're good!" Samuel said as he and Meredith snapped out of their shock and looked agreeably yet seriously at one another.
"You're good too, actually, Alex," Meredith added pleasantly as if she were waking from a fog. She was very impressed with Alex just as Samuel also was.
"Well, I think that just about sums it up," Samuel smiled, still feeling clearly impressed with Alex's wise emotional and social maturity.
"Okay! Well, off to sleep now, Alex," Meredith smiled as she stood and gestured her arms awkwardly in the direction of Alex’s bedroom. Neither Meredith nor Samuel realized just exactly what they were getting themselves into by letting Alex stay in their home. But they weren’t afraid. Taking care of their niece might just be the easiest thing they ever volunteered to do as she was obviously not a troublemaker.
"Goodnight Aunt Meredith. Goodnight Uncle Samuel," Alex cheerfully waved before she hobbled away on her crutches.
"By the way, Alex," Samuel stood up and added. Alex turned around to listen. "Even though most older adults associate the name 'Uncle Sam' with taxes and the U.S. government, you can feel free to call me 'Uncle Sam' so long as you do so while waving brightly burning patriotic s
parklers at the same time," he jested while he waved his arms, marched and pretended to hold his own sparklers.
"No lighting sparklers in the house, Alex!" Meredith quickly added anxiously while trying to hide her fear that Alex might actually follow a bad idea. Alex looked on with some confusion at Samuel before heading off to bed. Meredith folded her arms across her chest and gave Samuel a disapproving look. Samuel had stopped marching in place.
He smiled and looked at Meredith. "Sparkler?" he asked as he pretended to hand Meredith an imaginary sparkler. She remained unmoved and stared at him with continued disapproval.
Lowering his chin and looking awkwardly at the ground, he chided himself. "That's a 'no.' ”
Chapter 6: Silly Julio and Lovely Leena