Why would she kiss me back, if she all she wanted was to yell at me? She has to care on some level, right? Nikki couldn’t get Mia from her mind. The shape of her lips. The swell of her breast. The dazed look in her eyes immediately following their kiss. God, what an unbelievable kiss. She has the softest lips and the feeling of her body pressed up against the door. Ahh…then you go and talk. Oh Mia, what am I going to do?
Chapter Ten
As the days passed by, Nikki filled her time with class and softball. She dreaded going home every night. There was nothing there to distract her. Nothing to keep the fights with Mia out of her mind. Even her home projects didn’t help. She almost took Sam up on the offer to go out a couple times, but she knew better. Sam had noticed the change and been worried. She had stopped hitting on Nikki constantly and instead focused her energy on trying to find out who had hurt her. It would almost be sweet, if it wasn’t so irritating. She didn’t want to talk about Mia with Sam.
Nikki observed Mia in the cafeteria every day, but never spoke to her. Mia went out of her way to sit anywhere else. If there was no other faculty to sit with, she would congregate with the students. Never once did a passing glance or glare came her way. Nikki went by the guidance office a couple times a day in hope of getting a glimpse of Mia. Of course, it was no use, she was always in her office. Dropping in occasionally to speak with the athletic counselor didn’t help either. Mia’s door was always closed. Always busy with a student. The month went by with no end in sight.
Mia knew it was childish to be avoiding Nikki. She suffered through lunch every day. It was difficult to avoid looking at Nikki. Mia knew if she looked even once, she would give in. The kiss still lingered in her mind. It couldn’t have been as good as you remember. The mind just plays tricks. She imagined it…yeah. Like a dream. Real life was never like a dream. No matter how she rationalized, it was a dream she couldn’t escape. The memory tormented her. She was afraid it was true. That she had found someone that rearranged her furniture. Worse still, she was having feelings for someone she couldn’t stand. She just wanted to forget all about Nikki Reed. Why can’t I forget her?
Mia tried to concentrate on her counseling sessions. Her days were filled with talks about what college to go to, how to decide who to go to prom with and a couple students that had gotten into an argument. She soon came to realize that without the athletes, there was not much to do in a small school. At least not enough to keep her mind occupied. Enough to keep her memories at bay, of both Nikki and Shantel. Never enough to keep the nightmares away. Mia had moved to a small town because she could not take the loss of another student. She had felt useless to effect change back home and now she had nothing to do, no one to advise. Was there no medium? No way to escape?
There were a few students that would come in on free period. Even so, there was always a portion of the day Mia had nothing to do. She would sit in her office with the door closed, thinking of Nikki. Mia always knew when the coach came in to speak to Mason. She could hear the secretary as she greeted Reed. Mia found herself involuntarily straining to hear any part of the conversation through the door. However, she refused to leave the confines of her office. Even when she was unoccupied, she would keep the door securely in place. Lying to herself about her feelings had been ineffective as well. I’m just curious about the students. She rationalized. It has nothing to do with Nikki. I could care less if she is talking to Mason instead of me. While Mia did like hearing what was going on with the students and wanted to keep up on the athletes’ progress, it was Nikki’s voice that she yearned to hear. In an odd way it soothed her to know Nikki was there. To know that she was so close, even when she was out of reach.
Mia went to lunch and sat at her normal table away from Nikki. When possible, Mia would make sure her back was to Nikki as well. It was not a gesture meant for Nikki, but instead a preventative measure. Mia didn’t want to be tempted to contemplate Nikki’s mood, thoughts or the depths of her soul.
“Is anyone sitting here?”
Mia looked up to see the blonde Nikki was always talking to. What was her name? Jen…no it started with an S…Sara…
“No. go ahead.”
Sitting the tray down the blonde reached her hand across the table, “I’m Sam. Your Mia right? I’ve seen you around and thought I should introduce myself.”
“Nice to meet you Sam.”
Mia shook her delicate hand and noticed the long red fingernails. Only took a month for her to say hi. Be nice.
It suddenly occurred to Mia how many times she had to remind herself to “be nice” since moving here. It wasn’t just Nikki, it was all of the staff. Maybe it was because of everyone wanting to know her business. She had never seen so many nosey people in one place. There were questions about everything from why she moved, to what drove her to become a counselor, to why she was single. Did she move here to be closer to someone? She wasn’t sure why, but she was still being asked what happened to Mr. Jefferson. How would she know, she wasn’t here. Breathe. Smile. Don’t look at Nikki. Be Nice. These were the thoughts that occupied Mia’s mind during lunch every day and it was exhausting.
“So how do you like it here?”
“It’s different…small…will take some getting used to,” if I stay, “So…You’re a softball coach right? How is the season going?”
Mia was desperate to change the subject from her life, even if it was about softball. Not really a better subject. It’s not checking up on Nikki, I’m just being polite.
“I’m sure you will adjust once you get to know everyone. We could hang out sometime. Then you would at least have a friend,” Sam was smiling as she said it, but Mia didn’t trust the look in her eye. “I’m the assistant coach. I could never do what Nikki does. She is amazing and easy on the eyes,” Sam winked at her.
“I could see how she would make a good coach. She certainly seems to like bossing people around.”
Okay that sounded a little bitter. No it was the truth. You don’t get to be in charge by standing aside and letting others lead.
“Well there is nothing wrong with a strong woman taking charge,” Sam said as she eyed Nikki.
“So, what ever happened between you two?”
Mia tried not to read into the remark, but Sam seemed to be trying to hint to at a more familiar relationship. There was something in Sam’s eyes that she didn’t quite trust. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but it was there. Something harbored just below the surface. What is she fishing for?
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean?”
“Oh come on, you guys were “working together” right. I’ve seen you two fighting a few times. Now someone else is the athletic counselor. So, what happened?”
Obviously Sam was just as nosey as everyone else. Trying to find some juicy gossip to pass along. Don’t people have anything better to do?
“I’m sorry, but there is nothing between Ms. Reed and myself. She wanted my assistance with the players and our disagreements had to do with that.”
Sam seemed to be deciding if she believed Mia. Was it really the end of the story?
“Well I hope there are no hard feeling between you two, I would hate for it to affect our budding friendship.”
Sam smiled as if nothing was amiss. Again Mia caught Sam staring at the table behind them. As much as Mia tried not to, she was always aware of Nikki’s location. It was unmistakable, Sam was most certainly staring at Nikki.
“Why would that affect our relationship?” Mia asked confused.
“Well, you know. It’s not easy to keep friends that don’t like your girl.”
Mia was shocked. She had thought there was something between them the first day she saw Sam in the coach’s office, but took Nikki’s word that there was nothing going on. Did she lie? Had she moved on already? That was fast!
“Well, I should get back, I just wanted to introduce myself really.”
Sam picked up her things and walked over to the table behind her, leaving Mi
a in shocked silence. Why did Sam suddenly decide to introduce herself? What made her think I need her as a friend? Was Nikki seeing her all along? Did Sam see her as a threat? Who is telling the truth? Who cares! It doesn’t matter, they can have each other. Mia tried not to care, but truth be told, she was disappointed in herself. She should have listened to her head from the start. She knew Nikki would say anything to get what she wanted. Evidently, that included lying about her girlfriend. Mia finished her food and went to talk to students.
Nikki had watched Sam as she spoke to Mia. What was Sam telling her? They weren’t yelling. But Sam didn’t work that way. She would put subliminal messages in Mia’s mind. Haha…like she was a cartoon super villain. Nikki couldn’t help but laugh. The picture of Mia strapped to a chair watching a hypnosis wheel was too much to contain. She stopped laughing when Sam looked over at her. Did I laugh that loud? Nikki couldn’t help but watch the exchange. The longer they spoke the more curious she became. Sam was staring at her again, as if Mia had said something about her. Did Mia tell her about the other night? About their kiss? Before she knew it, Sam was bouncing back to her table with a smile on her face. That can’t be good.
“Hey cutie. How is your day so far?” Sam asked a little louder than necessary.
“Good. What was that all about?” Nikki said motioning with her head towards Mia.
“Oh that,” Sam said as if she was surprised Nikki had asked. “I thought I should introduce myself since you two are becoming friends.”
“I don’t think friend is really accurate.”
That was definitely an understatement seeing as how Mia wanted nothing to do with her.
“Anyway, I thought it would be nice to get to know her a little. Maybe we could all get together one night and hang out. I don’t think she has made any other friends. She spends all her time talking to the students. It’s so sad.”
It isn’t sad! It is called dedication. Caring for anyone other than yourself! All she does is think about others and try to find ways to make their lives better. What do you do? Other than pamper yourself and worry about who your next date will be with. Nikki didn’t answer her and Sam did not seem to pick up on the change in Nikki. She was busy chatting with another faculty member. Nikki couldn’t believe Sam thought they should hang out. Since when did Sam ever want to “Hang Out”? I mean go on a date yes, but she had never tried to hang out as friends. Why the sudden change and what did it have to do with Mia? Was there an ulterior motive? What does Sam get out of it? Hang out! Are you nuts? Hang out with the woman I’m crazy about and the girl that’s been chasing me for years. Yeah that would be a hoot. Why not just have a slumber party and get it over with? I could be sandwiched right between the two of them. Good thing Mia would never agree to a night with me…the thought came with no warning and left Nikki with a heavy heart.
She watched Mia get up and go over to another table. For once Mia actually looked over at her. What Nikki saw there chilled her; confusion, anger, sadness. It was worse than the cold shoulder she had been getting. Nikki never wanted to be the one to make Mia look so miserable. What did Sam say? What could she have said to bring such pain to Mia? Even after a month Nikki had no idea what to say to Mia or how to fix her mistakes. How much longer will she shut me out? How do I make her see that I only had her best interests at heart? A moment of panic set in. What if she never speaks to me again? The thought never occurred to her before. It had seemed inevitable. Mia would get over being mad eventually. Right?
No solutions came to Nikki’s mind. She had thought of little else and still had no idea what to do. She suddenly wished she had a close friend to talk to. Sam was probably the only person she talked to on a regular basis, but never about anything personal. She had never felt the need to bounce ideas off anyone else or ask for their advice. She got along with everyone, but had never been close to anyone. Nikki never had any regrets about how she lived her life. It was a solitary kind of life, but one that was always satisfying, until now.
Chapter Eleven
Softball was going as well as expected. Nikki was happy to have Sam there. She was distracted constantly and didn’t know how she would have gotten through each day without Sam’s help. They never talked about the inappropriate comments. What was the point? Mia was out of reach and Nikki did not see anyway of changing that. If Sam reacted poorly to the talk, then Nikki would have no one. It wasn’t worth the effort, not anymore.
Nikki was trying to mentally prepare for the game today. The Pioneers were having an excellent season. From what she had heard they had a few good hitters and Nikki knew Madison would need to mix it up to keep on top. The Trojans were on their way to winning districts and this game would be the deciding factor for states. This win would give them the number one spot in the district. Nikki should be on the edge of her seat or biting her nails, but instead she was struggling to keep her mind on the matter at hand.
Mia was leaving for the day. Again one of the last members of the staff to leave. This seemed to be the norm. It was a sunny day and Mia was having a weak moment. She took the long way around the building to her car so she could enjoy the sunshine. Yeah right…Sunshine. It had nothing to do with the fact that Nikki had a home game today. It was a beautiful day, the flowers were in bloom and Mia could feel the spring wind as it whipped around her. With the sun shining down on her, it was hard not to smile. She went out the front door, past the softball field and into the parking lot. It had been all over the school. Big game today! Lady Trojans playing for the number one seed! Signs littered the school. Teachers talked about it in the cafeteria. And of course Mia overheard Mason talking to the players about the stress of the big games they were getting into. They seemed to be handling it just fine without Mia.
The game was in full swing. Mia had no idea what inning they were in, but it looked like the Trojans were up to bat. She could not see the score board from her vantage point. Nikki was standing by third base with her back to Mia. She stopped in her tracks to allow herself just a moment to watch Nikki in her natural environment, unobserved. Reed was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a polo with the school emblem on it. Her long tan legs captivating Mia. There was a crack of the bat, drawing Mia’s attention to the girl running to first base. Nikki must have been giving some sort of signal to the runner and batter. If not she was having a stroke. Could have been a dance for all Mia knew. She was touching her head, ears, shoulders, and who knows where else. It looked like she was doing a new version of the Macarena. Mia couldn’t tell from the back of her. She just saw her arms flailing about and started singing, “head, shoulders, knees and toes”. Then laughed at the ridiculousness of her thoughts. Mia heard yelling coming from in the dugout. When Mia looked over at the runner on first base, Sam caught her attention with a wave. Thankfully Nikki was immersed in the game and didn’t notice. The last thing Mia wanted was for the coach to see her there, ogling her from afar. Mia watched another girl hit the ball. She did not wait to see how the game turned out. Turning on her heels, Mia walked through the grass towards her car. I will hear how it ends tomorrow.
There was a scream that came from the direction of the field. A cry of pain. Followed by lots of yelling. Mia instinctively turned towards the sound. She hadn’t seen what happened and was unsure if she should offer assistance. A quiet had settled over the field as everyone gathered. She saw what she assumed was the athletic trainer headed towards the crowd of players. Sam and Nikki were somewhere in the throng of players as well. The other team’s coaches were off the field with their girls, waiting. Mia had started to walk towards the field. Before she knew what she was doing, she was standing by the dugout. Trying to see who was injured. She was so worried, she had not considered that her being there may not be the best idea. Of course it wasn’t, but all that mattered in that moment was the wellbeing of the student. Their welfare was more important than any emotional turmoil. Any squabbles had to be moved to the back burner.
Nikki had seen it all in slow motion. The pit
ch was low and got stuck in the dirt. Madison had taken off. She was the fastest girl on the team. Even if the ball went straight into the catcher’s glove, Madison had a good chance of beating the throw down. Nikki watched as Madison stole third base. She ran hard and slid under the Pioneer’s glove. “SAFE” the umpire announced. But Madison hit her ankle on the side of the bag instead of going over it. She had gotten so much speed, the momentum continued into the bag and twisted her ankle at an odd angle. Nikki could hear a pop and then a scream. Everyone stopped at the sound, except Nikki. She had known immediately that Madison would not be able to get up. Nikki was at her side in an instant. Sam and the athletic trainer joined her next. Players were gathering and the ambulance was enroute. Nikki didn’t know who had the sense to dial 911. She was too busy trying to comfort Madison.
“Don’t get up. Where is the pain? Can you move your toes?”
Matt the athletic trainer continued his barrage of questions.
“Jenn, get Madison’s equipment together. Don’t worry I’ll call your parents. Sam.”
Sam had been moving the players away, creating space for Matt to work, but was at her side in a flash.
“I’m going to the hospital. You will…”
“Coach NO!” Madison yelled, “You have to finish the game. We have to win!”
Reed was shaking her head, she knew Madison was right. Sam was a good assistant, but a head coach she was not. If they had any chance of winning she would need to stay.
Trusting Again Page 9