by Dawn Brower
“A long time ago a foolish girl agreed to that.” She shrugged. “I always knew who you were. How could I not? The Duke of Clare was a well-known figure in Tenby, and his death rocked the town.”
And he’d asked her to call him Fin because that was what his friends called him. Now he didn’t have many friends, and most people referred to him by his title. Something he had feared early on. It was laughable how seamlessly he’d fallen into that title. As if he had always intended to use it and had orchestrated his father’s demise. He knew he hadn’t, but that didn’t make it any easier. “I rather liked that foolish girl,” he said softly. “She was kind to me.”
“Perhaps too kind,” she retorted. “You were grieving, and I wanted to make it go away. I realize now that perhaps that hadn’t been a kindness. You should have had some hard truths knocked into you.” Her lips pursed together in disapproval. “You’ve lived a lonely existence. I never wanted that for you.”
“It wasn’t your decision to make.” He hated that she was upset with him. He didn’t even know why it distressed him. Because how he lived his life shouldn’t bother her at all and he couldn’t fathom why it did. They weren’t really friends, and she wasn’t even a lady of good breeding. What she thought should never have mattered to him, yet it did. “I’m a duke. My opinion matters above most.”
“And I thought I’d been the foolish one…” She shook her head and then sighed. “When was the last time you visited your home?”
He wasn’t a fool. Fin knew she meant his home in Tenby. He could have played obtuse and told her he went home every day, but that wasn’t the truth. He hadn’t been to his ducal estate in a very long time.
“When was the last time you did?” he snapped. He didn’t like where her line of questioning was heading. “I’m a grown man. I don’t have to answer to anyone.”
She laughed softly. “Then quit acting like a spoiled child. Quit running from your troubles.”
Fin frowned. He didn’t think he had been, but perhaps she was right. Maybe he should return to Tenby and lay rest to the ghosts that haunted him. He didn’t want to, but sometimes a person had to face their greatest fears. It was nearing the time of year when his father had died. He hadn’t been to Tenby since that Christmas. “Will you go with me?” Fin couldn’t believe the question had left his mouth. Perhaps he’d imagined it.
“I thought you’d never ask…” Her smile brightened. “But I can’t go yet. I have a few things to do in town first. Perhaps in a sennight?”
That was even closer to the anniversary of his father’s death. He could do it. Fin reminded himself to breathe. “All right,” he agreed before he could change his mind. “Send me your direction to Clare Manor. I’ll have a carriage retrieve you at dawn, a sennight from today.” He wasn’t sure if he could handle seeing her before then. He might change his mind a thousand times before then.
“I’m looking forward to it,” she answered. “Now, let me introduce you to Lady Northesk. You’ll love her.”
Fin wasn’t so sure about that, but at least they’d changed their topic of conversation. Though he doubted that subject would leave his mind any time soon, nor would Lulia. He still couldn’t believe he’d found her again… Maybe it was meant to be. Fin wouldn’t dwell on any of it, or at least he’d try not to. He had a trip to plan.
Chapter 3
The little soiree Diana planned was more of miniature ball without dancing. Lulia didn’t understand society’s need to have so many planned entertainments presented to them for their pleasure. Surely they could find other amusements. But, of course, they couldn’t… They were all spoiled children pretending to be something more important than they actually were.
She had so much disdain for the lords and ladies of the ton. They had all looked down their noses at Lulia for her entire life. She could name a few who didn’t. Diana had always supported her, and those she called friends were kind to her as well. Diana’s husband had started to come around, but even he hadn’t though highly of Lulia at first. In fact, the sole gentleman who seemed to like her and not view her as damaged was Fin. That should surprise her, but it didn’t. Just because he was a duke didn’t mean that he wasn’t a good man.
Lulia had a few prejudices of her own… The difference was that she owned them and had plenty of reasons for their existence. Lulia continued across the room with Fin at her side. They hadn’t said a word the entire trek toward Diana. He didn’t seem to know how to carry on a conversation, and that suited Lulia for now. They’d have time later to uncover each other’s deepest secrets.
“Diana,” Lulia greeted her friend. “I’d like for you to meet an old friend of mine.” Perhaps that was a slight exaggeration. They did have a prior acquaintance though. Diana didn’t exactly need to know how brief it had been.
“Oh?” Diana lifted a brow. “I didn’t realize you had any other—friends…”
Lulia held back a laugh. Diana had met all of Lulia’s friends, so it didn’t surprise her that she was a little shocked to realize she knew a peer other than her. At least one that Diana hadn’t introduced her to. “This is the Duke of Clare,” she explained. “His home is near where I grew up.”
Diana scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion. Lulia didn’t often talk about her own family. There was a very good reason for that, and one day she’d explain it to her. With Lulia’s mixed heritage, she had never felt as if she belonged anywhere. “It’s always nice to meet someone Lulia considers a friend. What brings you to London, Your Grace?”
“I’ve been in London for a while. I find home a tedious place to be.” Fin’s answer was as cryptic as Lulia expected.
“There are a lot of individuals such as yourself, who prefer ton life to that of the country,” Diana said. She smiled at Fin. “Lulia hasn’t adapted to it as much as I’d have liked, but she’s braved it for me.”
“Country life is preferable,” Lulia agreed. “And I’ll return there soon.”
“I didn’t realize you had plans to,” Diana said and then frowned. “Don’t feel as if you need to stay in London on my account. I understand if you need a break from the demands of the city.”
Lulia would have to tell Diana that she planned on returning to Tenby with Fin. She wouldn’t like it, but she would understand. There were a few other things she had to finally tell her friend. She had a secret, and Lulia wasn’t entirely certain how Diana would react to it. “I’ll come for tea tomorrow and explain my plans. If that’s all right. You don’t have any more soirees planned, do you?”
Diana laughed. “I don’t have anything immediate planned. There are a few things I’d like to discuss with you as well. Tea would be perfect.” She nodded at Fin. “It was wonderful to meet you, Your Grace. Please come for another visit. Any friend of Lulia’s is always welcome.” Diana practically seeped warmth and happiness. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see Lady Katherine. There is something I must discuss with her.”
Lulia hadn’t noticed Lady Katherine arrive. She was an intimate friend of Diana’s, and also had always been kind to Lulia. Lady Katherine had romantic feelings for Lord Holton, but she thought no one else noticed. Lulia saw everything, and one day she’d be able to gloat about how she’d recognized the match before the two future lovers had. It was easy enough to predict where the couples would end up. For a lot of years, she didn’t think she’d have love either. Now though, she was starting to believe it might be possible.
“There are a lot of people here.” Fin pulled at his cravat. A thin line of sweat beaded on his forehead. She had always thought him handsome. Like a golden god too unsure of himself to take over the world. She would find a way to help him out of his protective shell. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to stay.”
“You’re not in favor of a crowd.” Her lips tilted upward. “I understand. They can be a bit much. If you think this is bad, you should definitely avoid a ball.”
“I’ve always done better in smaller settings,” he replied. “There is a c
ertain intimacy that soothes me. This…” He gestured toward the people in the room. “Is maddening. How do people find a way to have a decent conversation in a crush like this?”
Lulia shrugged. “I wouldn’t know, Your Grace. I don’t converse with anyone at these things—other than Diana and a few other individuals. I don’t have the patience for the rest of them.” After meeting her father’s family she’d taken on a distinct dislike for high society. Technically, she had the breeding to rub elbows with all the nobs, but she didn’t want to. They were all too snooty for her.
“I’m afraid I must leave.” He pulled at his cravat again. “This has been lovely, but…”
“Say no more,” she replied and then smiled at him. “I understand. We’ll see each other again. Next time in more pleasant surroundings.”
Fin nodded and then spun on his heels to exit the room. Lulia let him go because they would see each other again. They had a future to figure out. He hadn’t realized it yet.
Lulia hadn’t stayed at the soiree long after Fin had left. She didn’t like them much, and Diana had been too busy playing hostess to spend much time with her. So, Lulia had said her farewells and then left. Now, the afternoon after she found herself once again on the Northesk doorstep. She lifted her hand and rapped on the door. The butler opened it and nodded at her. “Miss Vasile, please come in. Lady Northesk is waiting for you in her sitting room.”
Lulia really hoped Diana actually had tea and sandwiches or even cakes. Her stomach rumbled as she walked down the hall. She hadn’t eaten anything, and her lack of food had caught up to her yet. Luckily, the sitting room was at the front of the townhouse, so she didn’t have far to go. She entered the room and found Diana perched on a chair with an open book on her lap.
“Good afternoon,” Lulia said as she headed toward her. She took a seat on the settee. “How are you on this fine day?”
“I couldn’t be more wonderful.” Diana lifted her lips into a smile. “I’m glad you’ve finally arrived, and before you ask…” She held up her hand, silencing Lulia. “Tea will be here shortly with plenty to eat. I know how you are when you don’t have any food. Cook is sending in a full spread.”
“Now, that is fantastic news,” Lulia said. “I am a bit hungry.”
“You always are.” Diana shook her head.
Complain once about the food being served late… Lulia sometimes wished her friend would let that go.… “I am not.” She scrunched up her nose in displeasure.
“Do you want to tell me about your friend the duke?”
Lulia would rather not. There were things she didn’t quite understand about Fin yet. Much to happen before they were in a place where she could say anything with certainty. “There’s nothing to tell. He was a neighbor, and we crossed paths occasionally.” Could one encounter be considered several? It had certainly seemed like it. That one meeting had been seared into her soul afterward.
Diana lifted a brow. “There’s a story there, and I fully expect all the details. Don’t hold back now Lulia. You never have in the past.”
That’s where she was wrong. She had kept a lot from Diana. When Lulia had decided to keep parts of her life hidden she’d believed it was for a good reason. She didn’t know how Diana would react to the truth. Her friend could have turned out to be a society miss who would look down on those of a lower class; however, she had instead embraced everything about Lulia. Diana had come off as snobbish at their first meeting and invoked her father’s name to ensure Lulia continued the conversation. Not long after that though Lulia had realized she was a sweet girl in desperate need of guidance. The real Diana had shown through then. “I’m capable of keeping many secrets,” Lulia said softly.
A maid pushed in a tea cart and poured cup for each of them. The food would probably come in later, but Lulia was grateful for the tea. It gave her something to do with her hands and to concentrate on. She put two sugar cubes in her tea and stirred.
Diana sipped her tea and then focused her attention on Lulia. “I’m sure you are capable of keeping several secrets.” She set her tea cup on a nearby table. “That became clear to me last night when you introduced me to a duke. Was he a beau of yours?”
Lulia had been mid-sip when that question slipped out, and she nearly spit tea all over herself. That would have been a disaster… She set the teacup down so she didn’t accidently spill it too. “Of course not,” she said. “He’s an acquaintance, nothing more.” Though she’d like him to be something else entirely—one day. Maybe even soon… He hadn’t given her the opportunity to fully explain his fortune all those years ago. She would like a chance to rectify that and perhaps put him on a less dark path. “A friend who needs my help, much like you have in the past.”
That long ago fair, when they’d first met, Diana had wanted to learn how to fence after watching Lulia acting out a scene from Romeo and Juliet—the fight scene. It never would have occurred to Lulia to offer to teach her the sport, but it had given her a reason to become acquainted with her.
“He wants to learn fencing?” Diana’s lips curled into a keen smirk. “That has to be a way for him to…” She wiggled her eyebrows. “…spend quality time with you.” She chuckled lightly. “I would think the Duke of Clare would have access to the best fencing masters available. Don’t let him convince you to tutor him in a skill when he wants something more—decadent from you.”
Lulia rolled her eyes. “He’s not in need of lessons of any kind. It’s something more…delicate than that.” Fin needed a friend to accompany him to Tenby and face the demons of his past. Lulia didn’t want to tell Diana that. It wasn’t her secret to share.
“Is he in search of a lover then?” Diana frowned. “I didn’t think he’d be that…blunt. Don’t sell yourself short. You deserve better than to become some duke’s mistress.”
“He doesn’t want to offer me anything of the sort.” Lulia sighed—though she wasn’t averse to becoming his lover. Lulia never believed she’d actually marry anyone, but she would like to know the more intimate side of marriage. She’d be willing to bet he’d be rather good at making love too. She’d have to tell Diana everything or she’d never let it go. “I promise he is a friend. When I was sixteen, I told him his fortune and it’s haunted him—I need to help him see past it. For that, he needs to go home, and I do as well.”
Diana nodded. “I see. So you’re going to travel with a duke to…?” She scowled. “It occurs to me that I don’t know where you consider home to be. I am not acquainted with the duke to ascertain that information myself. Where is his seat located?”
“Tenby, Wales,” Lulia answered matter-of-factly. “And before you start to besmirch his reputation and mine—there’s nothing untoward happening.” She leaned forward. “Now, can you forget about the duke for a moment? I have something much more important to discuss with you. I should have told you years ago, but as time went by, it became harder and harder to tell you the truth.”
“You can tell me anything. Surely you know that…” Diana reached over and placed her hand on Lulia’s. “You’re my dearest friend. There isn’t anything you could say that I’d find troubling.”
“That is because you haven’t heard it yet.” Lulia blew out a breath. “I hope, after I’m done, you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
“You’re scaring me…” She pressed her lips together into a fine line.
Lulia hated this part. After the words left her mouth, there would be no taking them back. Their friendship would be forever altered, and Diana would never look at her the same again. “My father wasn’t a gypsy and my surname isn’t Vasile.” She stared down at her tea. “At least not completely. It’s Lulia Vasile Alby. My father is Lord Geoffrey Alby, the third son of the Earl of Chaucerton.”
“But…” Diana’s mouth fell open. After several heartbeats went by, she finally found her voice and said, “My mother was the daughter of the Earl of Chaucerton. That would make your father, my uncle, and you…”
“
Your cousin, yes,” Lulia replied softly. “We’re family.”
This was the moment Lulia had feared for years now, and the reason she’d agreed to participate in that county fair all those years ago. She’d wanted to become acquainted with her female relation. A cousin she hoped would embrace the relationship. But once she met Diana, she couldn’t tell her the truth. She had wanted a tutor, not a cousin, and Lulia had embraced the opportunity to be a part of Diana’s life. Lulia hoped that she wouldn’t push her away now that she knew the truth…
Chapter 4
The silence in the room was nearly deafening as she waited for Diana to respond fully to the information Lulia had imparted. She swallowed hard and sat back against the settee. The rattle of wheels against the floorboards echoed down the hallway. Lulia stared at the closed door of the sitting room fully expecting it to swing open at any moment. Her assumption proved to be right when it did, and then one of the house maids pushed the aforementioned cart inside. The tray was filled with tea cakes and tiny sandwiches. Normally, Lulia would be already on her feet and preparing a plate. Now though, she feared any food would upset the nervous rumbling of her stomach. The maid pushed the cart until it was next to the tea service, then turned to Diana and asked, “Will there be anything else, my lady?”
“No, Beatrice,” Diana answered and then gestured toward the door. “Please see that we’re not disturbed, and the door remains closed.”
Beatrice nodded and left the room, shutting the door behind her. Diana sat forward and met Lulia’s gaze. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Lulia wished she had a good answer to give her. She should have confessed sooner. It would have made everything so much easier if she had owned up to her real reason for being a part of the county fair so many years ago. By the time that fair had come around, she’d been living with her mother’s family for two years and discovered it really wasn’t the life she wanted. She had some of the Romany inside of her, but at her core, what she really needed was family. Being on the outside of both worlds, she never believed she’d find a place where she belonged. Her father had kept no secrets from her. Lulia had always known about her relations on both sides. Neither one had ever truly accepted her, so it was no surprise she didn’t believe that Diana would either. “My parents died when I was eighteen,” Lulia began. “I was given a choice. I could live with my mother’s family or my father’s, but not both. Neither my paternal grandfather nor my maternal one wanted me though. It wasn’t an easy choice to make, but I believed at the time I’d feel more at home with my mother’s family.” She’d been wrong, and it hadn’t taken her long to discover that truth; however, once she’d made her decision, she couldn’t take it back. Her paternal grandfather had told her never to darken his doorstep again. “They were closer to the ideal I was used to. My father humored my mother, and we lived off the land during the warmer months, and in the winter we retreated to his shop in Tenby.”