Wes stopped at the first fast-food place they came to, which happened to be a Taco Bell. They ordered enough food to host a nice little Mexican fiesta in the van as they kept pushing north. Once again, Randy ate more than the rest of them. He also did the same thing he always did when he and Sierra ate at Lotsa Tacos in Portland. He teased her mercilessly about drinking milk with her tacos.
“It’s perfectly normal and very delicious,” Sierra said.
“Very delicious,” Randy repeated in a high voice. “You sound as though you’re in a milk commercial.”
“I’d rather be in a milk commercial than in one of your beach movies where people sit around acting warm in the middle of winter.”
“Is that rain on the windshield?” Vicki suddenly asked.
Wes started the windshield wipers. “Guess you can tell we’re heading home. The Oregon rain missed us so much it’s come all the way down here to keep us company.”
“That also explains why the beach was so cold,” Amy said.
A dull sense of sadness came over them. Their adventure was coming to an end. All that was left were miles and miles of freeway and numerous stops at nondescript gasstation restrooms.
Vicki found a radio station she liked. Amy went to sleep in the backseat, covering herself with every spare sweatshirt and jacket she could find. Randy sat next to Sierra, looking through the information packet from the various colleges.
Suddenly he let out a low whistle. “Did you see what tuition costs for a year at this one?”
Sierra looked over his shoulder at the papers. “That’s about the same as what it is at Valencia Hills. Rancho is more.”
“More? You’re kidding!” Randy looked shocked. “Are you sure there’s a way to round up enough scholarship money in time?”
“I don’t know. We probably should have started this whole process a lot sooner.”
“It’s kind of weird,” he said, “thinking about going to college. I figured I’d go to Portland State or maybe a community college the first few years.”
“That’s what Katie did. She and Christy both went to community college their first year. That way they could live at home and save up some money.”
Randy shifted in the seat. “Sierra, do you feel old enough to leave home and start being totally responsible for yourself?”
“No,” Sierra said, looking closely at Randy. “I thought I was the only one who was feeling that way.”
“You? You’ve already had a few chances to try your wings,” Randy said. “Like when you went to Europe and everything. I guess I’m more of a baby than I realized. I didn’t think this decision would be here yet.”
“Exactly,” Sierra said, looking out the rain-streaked window at the other cars zooming past them on the freeway. “I’ve felt more insecure on this trip than I ever did when I went to Europe. Isn’t that strange?”
“Not really. With your other trips, you knew what to expect when you got home. Your parents would be there, and all your needs would be provided for. The thing that gets me about college is the whole money thing. I mean, even if our tuition is covered, what about spending money? Antonio was telling me he works a bunch of odd jobs just to earn some cash so he can do things like eat out with us at Sam’s.”
“I know,” Sierra agreed. “I’m more spoiled than I realized.”
“You and me both. If there’s anything I learned on this trip, it’s that I need to tell my parents how much I appreciate them and all they do for me.” Randy stuffed the papers back into the folder. “I mean, I buy my own guitar strings and keep gas in my truck. I thought that was a big responsibility. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I have to start paying for my in-between-cafeteria-meals food.”
Sierra smiled. “You’ll need a full-time job or at least a part-time one that pays well.”
“No kidding!”
“Katie said we should look into the work-study programs.”
“More paperwork,” Randy muttered.
They rolled along in silence. Vicki hummed along with a familiar song on the radio. Sierra fought the urge to panic over the huge decisions that lay before her.
“You know what, Randy?” Sierra lowered her voice and confided in her buddy. “I don’t think I’m done being a teenager yet. I don’t cherish the idea of becoming an adult. What was that song you were working on? About only having enough light from the headlights to see a little ways down the road?”
“Oh yeah. Our Mount Shasta song. I’m still working on that one.”
“Well, I feel as if I’m charging down this road to adulthood, but both my headlights are on dim. It’s very hard to see the road.”
“Sounds as though your battery is low,” Randy said. “It’ll be different once you get recharged.”
Sierra wondered if Randy meant she needed to get recharged physically or spiritually. Or maybe he meant emotionally. A great deal had happened in the past few days. She stared out the rain-streaked window, feeling the same unsettledness she had experienced earlier that morning when she’d prayed in the chapel. She had expected answers to all her questions to come pouring over her like light through the stained-glass window. Instead, she had fallen asleep. Maybe her battery did need recharging.
Sleep wouldn’t come to her right away as they drove home through the rain. Her imagination saw to that. Far too many decisions had to be made. Should she apply to Rancho Corona? What would Wes think if she went there? Was she interested in going there only because all her friends would be there? Was that such a bad reason? What about the finances? Could she get a scholarship? And would she need a part-time job once she started school?
Sierra looked over the seat at Amy stretched out under her pile of sweatshirts, sleeping peacefully. Sierra knew she wouldn’t feel settled until she at least knew why her friend had such an adverse reaction to applying at Rancho.
Finally, her imagination floated to Paul. What about that big unknown area in her life? Talk about a road traveled with very little light to show what lies ahead!
“Play me a song,” Sierra said to Randy. “Like that first night when I was driving. You have no idea how peaceful that was.”
“Oh, so you want me to put you to sleep? Is that what you’re saying?”
“No.”
Vicki turned off the radio and gave her vote of approval, too. “I love it when you sing, Randy. Would you play something for us?”
“How about if I play stuff we all know? Then everyone can sing.” He pulled the guitar out of the case and began to strum a familiar song. He must have had his earlier conversation with Sierra in mind because the song started out,
I will trust You, Lord,
in every situation,
I will place my faith in You.…
Sierra sang along softly, feeling like a hypocrite. She knew only too clearly how much easier it was to sing those words than to live them.
twenty
TWO WEEKS AFTER the California road trip, the three friends met at Mama Bear’s on a rainy Monday afternoon. Vicki had stopped and bought a daffodil for each of them, and the three lacy yellow trumpets sat at the end of their long stalks in a glass of water. Sierra had already paid for the warmed-up cinnamon roll and three mugs of tea. Vicki and Sierra listened closely as Amy read from the postcard in her hand. It pictured a swaying palm tree with the word “California” arched across the top in gold letters.
Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, bella Amy. I have thought often of what you said about how God isn’t fair, since bad things happen to good people. My only thought there is that God is God. He can do whatever He wants. Apparently, one of the things He wants is to have a relationship with us. So, with a heart of love for you, I will pray that you will know God and experience this relationship.
Ciao,
Antonio
Amy looked at Sierra and then at Vicki, her dark eyes flashing. “Did either of you put him up to this?”
“Of course not!” Sierra said.
Amy let out
a sigh and gazed into her untouched cup of tea. “You know, all of you make it hard for me to stay mad at God.”
Vicki and Sierra waited for her to go on.
“You guys, all of you, keep being nice to me and caring about me. When we were at Rancho Corona, I decided I was going to hate Katie. She was your friend, Sierra, and I was sure she was going to take you away from Vicki and me. My whole life people have been taken away from me. But it was impossible to hate Katie because she acted as though she really liked all of us, not just you, Sierra. Of course, maybe it was just a show.”
“It wasn’t a show, Amy,” Sierra said. “People really do care about you.”
Amy’s dark lashes blinked back the tears. “Why?”
The verses Sierra had written on Paul’s valentine came to her mind, and she quoted them to Amy. “Because ‘God is love … We love because he first loved us.’ Love is not something that’s supposed to be done on human power. It’s supernatural.”
“Before you start pushing me too far, Sierra, let me say this. Being with you two and Wes and Randy for five days, and being around Katie and Antonio and even Tawni, made me realize that what you guys have is very special. You really do love each other. The way you treated Warner was with a lot more kindness than I had for him.”
“Did I tell you?” Vicki said, cutting into Amy’s speech. “Last week Warner had to give a speech in our communications class. He talked about being a team player and looking out for the rights and feelings of others. It was a great speech. I think the jaunt to Corvallis and the broken arm did him some good.”
Sierra couldn’t help but wonder if traveling all the way to Southern California would have done Warner even more good. But she was glad they didn’t have to find out.
“You know,” Amy said. “I think I’ve kind of been treating God the way Warner was treating us on the trip. He acted as if he deserved everything and got irritated when he couldn’t get what he wanted. It’s hard for me to admit this to you both, but I think I’m pretty spoiled and immature. I’ve always said it was because I was the baby of the family. But I’m graduating from high school in a few weeks. How much longer can I be the baby?”
“I was feeling exactly like that when we were at Rancho,” Sierra said. “I didn’t want to grow up.”
“Who does?” Vicki said.
“We did, a year ago,” Amy said. “I couldn’t wait to have my own car and move out like my sisters did. Now I feel as though I’m not ready. My life isn’t at that place yet.”
“Are you saying you feel ready to turn your life over to the Lord?” Sierra asked. She knew Amy had heard all about how to become a Christian during the years she had attended Royal Academy. But knowing about God and knowing Him personally were two different things. Sierra was eager for Amy to lay down her shield and weapons and stop fighting God. In Sierra’s mind, this was the perfect time for Amy to finally surrender to the Lord.
“No,” Amy said firmly. “What I’m saying is that I’m taking a tiny step closer. That’s all. Don’t rush me.”
“Okay,” Sierra said, calming herself down and reaching for a piece of cinnamon roll. She knew it would be better to stuff the roll, rather than her foot, into her mouth.
“What I like,” Amy said after a moment of shared silence, “is that you guys don’t try to explain God to me. I mean, like this card from Antonio. He’s just so honest. He says what he knows, or what he believes, and that’s all. I can’t stand it when people try to make excuses for God or explain why He does what He does as if they’re an authority. I was just thinking yesterday that if God were easy enough to understand or to explain, then I don’t think He would be big enough to run this universe or solve anyone’s problems.”
Vicki and Sierra exchanged expressions of amazement.
“That is so profound,” Vicki said.
“Well, don’t get excited,” Amy said, her slight grin returning. “There aren’t any more deep thoughts where that came from.”
Sierra sipped her tea and then ventured to share something she hadn’t told her friends yet. “I wanted to tell you guys something that happened to me on the trip. I sort of had a ‘moment’ with God.”
“A ‘moment’?” Vicki questioned with a skeptical gleam in her clear green eyes. “Where? In the chapel when you were missing that one morning?”
“No, it was at Magic Mountain.” Sierra realized how ironic it was that God had seemed silent to her in the sacred chapel, but He had chosen to meet her in the middle of a crowd at an amusement park. She stored that thought away as more evidence that God’s way of doing things is not the way she would choose. “I don’t know if I can explain what happened. I was feeling kind of lost and by myself, and then it was as if God invisibly slipped His hand into mine and told me to hold on tight.”
Amy raised an eyebrow. “You’re telling us God talked to you?”
“No. I mean, yes. I mean … it wasn’t like a voice. It was a thought. I don’t know how to explain it. Have you ever had that happen to you?”
Amy looked down and sipped her tea. Vicki shook her head.
“I’m not saying I don’t believe you,” Vicki said. “I just never experienced anything like that.”
“Well, I know it happened. I felt changed. It really felt as though God was right there beside me.” Sierra knew there was no need to apologize for her experience. As Amy had said, she couldn’t explain it. She didn’t want to exaggerate either.
“I had a point to this,” Sierra said. “But now I can’t remember what it was.”
“While you think of it, let me change the subject,” Vicki said. “Did you send in all your papers for Rancho Corona and all the scholarship applications?”
“Yes. Did you?”
“My mom sent them off yesterday—finally. I heard my dad telling someone on the phone last night that I was going to Rancho Corona next year, as if it already had been decided. I didn’t realize they were so in favor of my going. It took them long enough to read over all the information.” Vicki reached for another bite of cinnamon roll, and without looking at Amy, she said, “Have you thought anymore about applying there, Aim?”
“No,” Amy said quietly. “I don’t think I want to go to a Christian college. But if I did, that’s the one I’d want to go to. I can see why both of you do.”
Several days after they returned from their scouting trip, Sierra had finally decided to apply at Rancho. She had discussed it for long hours with her parents and even called Wes to make sure he wouldn’t mind her being on the same campus. The more she prayed about it, discussed it with her parents, and accepted going away to college as the next step for her life, the more settled and at peace she felt. She realized it was time to grow up and accept the privileges as well as the responsibilities that came with the next stage of life.
Once she decided to apply, she and her parents had scrambled madly to fill out and send off all the paperwork. The finances were the biggest challenge, especially since Wes was going to Rancho and he hadn’t heard back yet on any of the grants and scholarships he had applied for in their grad program. In many ways, Sierra now understood that God’s will involved simply taking the next step, without knowing the final outcome, and trusting Him to lead one step at a time. Applying to Rancho had been that next step for her. She had also taken a next step with Paul.
“You both will be proud of me,” Sierra said to Vicki and Amy. “I wrote to Paul last week and told him all my plans. Then, very subtly, I added, ‘And how are your plans for the fall coming along?’ ”
“Have you heard back from him?” Amy asked.
“No, not yet.”
“At least the topic is out there for you two to discuss now,” Amy said, and then added, “I didn’t like it last week when you said that if it was God’s will for the two of you to be together, somehow Paul would mysteriously show up in your life, and it would have all been arranged without your ever talking about it.”
“I agree,” Vicki said. “You’re the one who’s
always saying we have to have open communication. Even if Paul has already made totally different plans, I think it’s good for him to see you’re not waiting around for him. You’re going forward with what you believe is God’s direction for you.”
Sierra smiled at her two friends. “I’m only moving ahead as far as I can see in the headlights.”
“That’s right,” Vicki said. “You need to keep moving ahead slowly and don’t try to go too fast. Keep taking it slow, and you won’t get out of control.”
“Or crash and burn the way I always do,” Amy said.
“What would I do without all your wise advice?” Sierra said, licking the gooey white frosting from her thumb.
“Oh yeah, like we’re the love experts,” Vicki said. “Me and my hopeless crush on Randy. Five days with him, and he still treats me like one of the boys.”
“Well, thanks to those five days, I’ve decided to go on a guy diet,” Amy said. “I’m becoming very selective about whom I go out with. After being treated like a princess by Wes and Antonio, I realize the guys around here are junk food.”
Sierra laughed. “Now, Amy, just think what a feast of great guys you would have to choose from if you came to Rancho with us.”
“Oh, now there’s a deeply spiritual reason to select a college,” Amy said.
“It might not be the best reason,” Vicki said, “but it’s not all that bad either.”
They laughed together, and Vicki said, “Can you believe we’re sitting here talking about college and graduation as though it happens every day? I started thinking about it last night, and I kind of weirded out. I felt nervous about everything. I don’t know why.”
“You’re just now feeling that way? I felt that way the whole trip,” Sierra said. “That’s why I went to the chapel that morning.”
“And you got over the panicky feelings?” Vicki asked.
“Eventually.”
“Last night I felt the same way I did at Magic Mountain when we were climbing up to the top of the Viper,” Vicki said. “It was that same sickening feeling when everything is in motion and it’s too late to go back.”
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