“I’d better go, too,” Amy said, beginning to get up.
Sierra reached for Amy’s hand to stop her. “We didn’t talk about God.”
Amy’s winsome grin inched its way across her face. “Oh, really? Maybe another time.”
Sierra wasn’t sure if that meant Amy was more open to talking about God or if she was feeling relieved the topic had never come up.
“I’ll see you Friday morning, then,” Sierra said as she also rose from the table. “Call me if you need anything before then.”
“When does Paul arrive?”
“Late Thursday night. So I don’t know if I’ll see him Friday morning or if he’ll just show up at graduation or what.”
“It’s too bad you can’t call him to find out.”
As Sierra drove home, she thought of how she could call Paul if she wanted. Of course, it was too early in the morning in Scotland to phone right then. She would have to wait until later that night. Where could she get the number? From Uncle Mac?
When she stepped in the door, Mrs. Jensen called from the kitchen, “Sierra, is that you?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Can you come in here? I have some news.”
Sierra found her mom washing dishes. A paper plate with three taquitos, rice, and beans covered with clear wrapping waited for Sierra on the counter.
“The boys had softball games, so we ate early, and Dad took them. You’ve had several calls. Paul called.”
“He did? I was just thinking of phoning him. When did he call?”
“I’m not sure. Earlier today. He said his travel plans had changed. I wrote it all down. Do you see it on the note there?”
Sierra eagerly reached for the piece of notepaper with the little birdhouse in the top left corner. On it her mom had written the information about Paul’s flight. The arrival time was listed as 4:15 p.m., and Sierra said, “This is great! Before he wasn’t getting in until after ten.”
“Actually,” Mrs. Jensen said, drying her hands and coming over to explain the note, “he doesn’t arrive till Friday. I went over the schedule with him. He’s sorry about missing your graduation ceremony, but he’ll come right from the airport to your dinner party.”
“That’s okay,” Sierra said. She was a little disappointed, since she had pictured him being at her graduation, but she would rather he be at the party.
“He said something about the airline changing the schedule, so he really couldn’t do anything about it,” Mrs. Jensen said.
“That’s okay. I’m just glad he’s still coming for a few days.”
“Well, that’s the best part. Tawni also called, and her shoot was rescheduled, so she and Jeremy are driving up from San Diego tomorrow. They’ll stay with some friends of his parents in the San Francisco area and then arrive here late Wednesday night. They’ll be here for the family party on Thursday, and then Paul will ride back with them next week.”
“When are they going back?”
“That’s what I was saying was the good part. It’s open at this point. Paul might stay more than three or four days.”
Sierra smiled. Her mother must have known how important this news would be. Sierra knew her mom loved going to the boys’ softball games and cheering from her lawn chair, especially on warm, clear evenings like this one, but she had stayed home to give Sierra the information personally. Sierra smiled some more.
“You had another call from Vicki,” Mrs. Jensen said. “She won’t be able to come until later Friday because her family is going out to dinner after graduation, but they said she could come here for dessert.”
“I’d better tell Amy. She’s ordering all the food tomorrow. Randy might not be here for dinner, either. His parents are still trying to decide.”
“Would it help if I gave them a call to let them know what the plan is?” Sierra’s mom asked.
“I don’t know. It couldn’t hurt, I guess.”
“Well, do you and Amy need anything else? I thought you would probably use the good china. We’re down to twenty-one dinner plates after that fiasco at Christmas. Do you think that will be enough?”
“That should be plenty.”
“Remember that Tawni will be here in two days, in case you want to plan your expedition to find her bed before then.”
“Cute, Mom. Very funny. Actually, my room isn’t that bad.”
Mrs. Jensen raised an eyebrow. She was a trim woman with short hair and nice lips the same shape as Sierra’s. Whenever Mrs. Jensen raised an eyebrow, her lips curled up. Even though the eyebrow was supposed to communicate that she meant business, the overall look was too sweet. It always made Sierra feel like laughing.
“Okay, okay. I’ll take a shovel up there tonight and see what I can unearth. Right after I eat, though.”
Sierra ended up putting a little extra effort into cleaning her room over the next few days. Paul might tour the house, and that gave her a whole new motivation for straightening things up.
By the time Tawni and Jeremy arrived at eight-thirty on Wednesday night, Sierra was adding the finishing touches to the bedroom. She had picked flowers from the backyard garden and was carrying the two vases upstairs when the front door opened and Tawni’s clear voice called out, “We’re here! Anybody home?”
Sierra hurried to put the flowers in her room—one on the nightstand next to Tawni’s bed and one on a dish on top of her dresser. The calm evening breeze breathed through the open windows, and the room swirled with the flowers’ refreshing fragrance.
Dashing back down the stairs, Sierra greeted her sister with a big hug. Tawni responded with a kiss on the cheek and an extra tight squeeze.
Tawni seemed taller than Sierra remembered. Was it her shoes? She was definitely slimmer. Perhaps it was the poise and posture she had developed over the months she had been working as a professional model. Her hair was cut just above her shoulders and was as close to its normal color as Sierra had seen in a while. Tawni had colored it everything from white blond to mahogany red in the past. But today it was a soft brown, the shade of hot tea with a splash of cream stirred in. The color complemented Tawni’s fair complexion.
“Are you excited?” Tawni asked.
Sierra knew her older sister most likely was referring to graduation. But when Sierra answered, “Yes, of course I am!” she had a glimmer in her eyes because she was thinking of seeing Paul.
Paul’s older brother, Jeremy, stood next to Tawni and opened his arms, inviting Sierra to give him a hug, too. She did so a little awkwardly. It felt strange to hug Paul’s brother when all she had been dreaming of was hugging Paul. It was like eating imitation vanilla ice milk when she had her heart set on homemade Rocky Road ice cream. Just not the same, yet oddly similar in some ways.
Sierra tried hard to remember if Paul was taller than Jeremy was. Was Paul’s hair that dark? No, she remembered its being lighter. Paul’s eyes weren’t as deep-set as Jeremy’s, and Paul’s chin was less pronounced. In Sierra’s opinion, she certainly had the better-looking of the two brothers. She only let herself roll that thought over for a second because it suddenly seemed quite possible that Jeremy was standing there thinking the same thing of her—that he had gotten the better-looking of the two sisters.
Mr. and Mrs. Jensen, who had been the first to greet the weary travelers, were now asking all the usual questions about how the trip was and if they wanted something to eat.
“I’m just ready for some sleep,” Tawni said. “The people we stayed with last night had a brand-new puppy, and it kept me awake all night.”
“You both must be exhausted,” Mrs. Jensen said.
“Not me,” Jeremy said. “I slept on the living room couch last night, which was upstairs, and Tawni was in the guest room, which was right next to the garage where the puppy howled. I slept great.” He put his arm around Tawni and teased her. “I kept telling Tawni to take a nap in the car, but she’s not one for sleeping in moving vehicles, is she?”
Tawni shook her head, as if coaxing h
im not to tell the rest of the story.
But Jeremy plunged forward. “Every time I stopped at a gas station, she would fall dead asleep. Then as soon as I started the car, she would wake up. As long as she was awake, I convinced her to drive the last few hours, and I slept. So I’m wide awake, and she’s about ready to drop.”
“Why don’t you just go up to bed?” Mr. Jensen asked. “I’ll be glad to take your luggage up for you.”
“I’ve got it,” Jeremy said, using both hands to lift the heavy bag and haul it up the stairs. He hit the side of the stairwell, and Sierra saw her mom cringe. “Which room is it?” Jeremy asked.
Sierra and Tawni followed him up the stairs, and Sierra scurried ahead of him to open the bedroom door. Jeremy stood back, allowing Tawni to enter first before he let the heavy suitcase rest on the floor.
“I don’t believe it,” Tawni said, glancing around. “I’ve never seen this room look so tidy! Did you hire a maid?”
“Very funny,” Sierra said.
Tawni sat on the edge of her old bed and admired the vase of blue bearded irises. “Maybe my little sister is finally growing up after all and learning to be responsible. I just never thought I’d see the day.”
Something inside Sierra snapped. She and Tawni were suddenly back to their old selves, ready to fight about anything. What made it worse was that Sierra had thought they were over that stage of their lives. Now, here she was, being treated like a child in front of Jeremy.
A frightening realization came to her. It could be like this all weekend. Having Tawni there to remind Sierra that she was the lowly little sister could mean a weekend of embarrassing situations not only in front of Jeremy but also with Paul. Plus Sierra wouldn’t have her private retreat all to herself for days. Tawni had invaded her room and, from all appearances, was about to invade her life.
eight
SIERRA WAS GLAD to go to school on Thursday morning. Many of her friends were ditching, since it was the last day and it seemed pointless to attend class. But Sierra wanted to get out of the house.
Tawni had gone to sleep early but woke up a little cranky when Sierra started opening drawers at 7:05. Sierra still hadn’t gotten over the slump she had fallen into the night before. It all seemed so unreal. School was over. High school was over. A whole chunk of her childhood was over.
It came to an end so fast, Sierra thought as she drove to school. I can remember my first day of school when Mom made me wear those little red shoes with the buckles. I hated those shoes! What was she thinking when she bought those for me? Or did she buy them? They were probably hand-me-downs.
Pulling into the school parking lot, Sierra realized that, to her mother’s credit, she might not have understood Sierra’s preferences then, but she sure understood them now. Sierra thought her mom was great to be willing to adjust the family’s graduation celebration so Sierra could spend Friday night with her friends. Vicki’s parents had made a big issue of the arrangement, and Vicki said they had had a huge argument over it.
Sierra felt extra appreciative of her mom, yet at the same time a little melancholy. On her first day of school many years ago, pancakes had been served for breakfast, a love note had been tucked into her sweater pocket, and photographs had been taken before she walked down the sidewalk in a straight line behind Tawni, who was behind Wesley, who was behind Cody. Today she had made her own breakfast—a banana. No one had even said good-bye to her, and she had driven to school alone. Not that she expected her mom to take pictures. It was all just so different from the rest of her school experience.
If this was what being grown-up and independent was all about, Sierra wasn’t sure she liked it. Or at least she wasn’t sure she wanted to be at this point yet in her life.
Her last day of school was one party after another in each of her classes. Most of her teachers had nice speeches they gave to the students about what a wonderful year it had been. One of her teachers handed out cards with a Bible verse as a blessing for their future. It was a fun, sweet, sad, strange sort of day.
Instead of driving directly home, Sierra stopped at Eaton’s Pharmacy. A little soda fountain with red vinyl stools was located inside the corner drugstore. She ordered a chocolate shake. It was served along with a silver shake canister containing the portion of the drink that wouldn’t fit in the glass. The server was the same waitress who had been there the first time Sierra had visited the fountain with Granna Mae. Sierra didn’t remember the woman’s name but smiled and answered questions about how her family was doing, especially Granna Mae.
Sierra slurped slowly in the quiet shop and remembered when Granna Mae had brought her here a year and a half ago, after her first day at Royal Academy. Granna Mae traditionally took her children—and sometimes her grandchildren—to Eaton’s for a shake on their first day of school. It didn’t matter that Sierra started Royal in the middle of the year; she still qualified for a chocolate shake with Granna Mae at Eaton’s.
Now Sierra felt strange sitting here alone and grown-up and responsible and not doted on by anyone. She knew she wouldn’t feel this way once the family party started that night. Tomorrow would be graduation and Paul’s arrival and the start of their days together. That’s when she would love being grown-up and responsible and having the freedom to do what she wanted.
But for this singular moment, she was a sad, lonely graduating senior—so sad and lonely she couldn’t finish her shake.
She left an exorbitant tip on the counter, feeling that someone needed to reward that woman for working in the same drugstore during Sierra’s entire high school career.
Then Sierra drove home, convincing herself that the best years of her life were still to come. She wondered if part of the sadness came from her not growing up in Portland but being a transplant in the middle of her junior year. She loved her friends dearly, but she didn’t feel the same about them as she did about the friends she had grown up with in the little town of Pineville in northern California. She had thought she would stay in touch with them. When Sierra moved, she had made earnest promises about going back for her friends’ graduation. She knew every one of the fifty-nine students who had graduated there last weekend, and she had known most of them her whole life. But Sierra was surprised by how quickly she had moved on and forgotten all her promises about visiting. Most of her friends had moved on quickly, too. Only two or three had sent her graduation announcements, and none of them had included a note.
As far as Sierra knew, neither she nor her mom had sent her graduation announcement to any of her old friends in Pineville. It made her sad.
How can things change like that? It won’t be like that when I go to college, will it? Even though Amy doesn’t have any interest in going to Rancho Corona, and even if Vicki ends up not being accepted, we’ll still be good friends, won’t we? When I come home for vacation, the three of us will still get together at Mama Bear’s. We just have to! I refuse to believe our friendship could dissolve.
By the time Sierra walked into the house, she was in a “blue funk,” as Amy once described an especially depressed mood. If some category at the Academy Awards existed for graduating seniors who act happy at the family party while they are in a level-two blue funk, Sierra would have won that year. She put on the best show she could for her loving family. Her older brothers, Cody and Wes, were both there. Cody’s wife, Katrina, and their son, Tyler, showered Sierra with hugs as if she had won some talent show instead of merely graduating from high school. The hugs felt funny from Katrina because she was six-and-a-half months pregnant. Sierra wasn’t used to hugging pregnant women.
Twice during the evening Katrina took Sierra’s hand, pressed it to her abdomen, and said, “There. Did you feel that? Wait. She’ll kick again.”
Sierra didn’t know how to tell her well-meaning sister-in-law that she would love her new niece to pieces once she made a grand appearance that summer. For now, though, Sierra wasn’t big on bonding through tracking the baby’s tiny kicks across Katrina’s bubbl
ed-out belly.
Mrs. Jensen made a huge dinner with salads and vegetable trays, and Mr. Jensen grilled chicken. A big carrot cake with cream cheese frosting was served. It had plastic decorations of a graduation cap and rolled-up diploma on top, along with the words, “Congratulations, Sierra!”
Everyone gave Sierra gifts. Cards and money were presented from relatives who hadn’t come. Granna Mae was wonderfully bright and coherent throughout the evening. And Sierra noted that Jeremy fit right in with the festivities and treated Tawni like a princess.
A letter had arrived that day announcing that Sierra had been awarded another scholarship, her fourth. Everything was ideal, and she should have been as happy as she pretended to be.
Instead, she felt numb. All the celebrating seemed to be for someone else, one of the older Jensen children, like all the graduation parties had been in years past. She was just one of the many kids at the party. Only she wasn’t one of the “little” ones anymore. Sierra sensed she had crossed some invisible line and was now one of the “older” Jensen kids. Gavin and Dillon were the only little ones left of the six kids, and they had a long way to go before they graduated from high school.
Not until the next morning did Sierra believe it was all really happening. Her mom had hung Sierra’s cap and gown on the back of her closet door; when Sierra woke up, they were the first things she saw. She remembered when she had tried on Tawni’s cap two years ago and thought it was the silliest-looking hat in the world. She had swung her head to make the tassel do a hula. Tawni had yelled at her, and that was that.
This morning the hat hanging on the back of the closet door was hers, and she thought it looked rather important and dignified. She knew she probably would yell at Gavin if he tried to make her tassel dance a silly hula on his unscholarly head.
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