by A R Steele
“You ever considered you might drink too much?” Austin asked.
“You ever considered you might be an asshole?”
Austin shrugged. “I never denied being an asshole. You can call me one all you want, it’s not going to bother me.”
“Not trying to bother you,” Lev said. The gap between his front teeth drew Austin in, making him want to kiss him. “Just telling it how I see it. What else is it called when a guy lets a guy suck him off, then doesn’t do a damn thing for the other guy?”
“I never said I wouldn’t do it another time,” Austin said.
“Pretty sure you know that’s not an option for me. You only get one shot with Lev Rubin.” Lev laughed bitterly, and his tongue piercing glinted.
“Well, maybe I wanted to be more than another name on your list of conquests. Maybe that makes you the asshole.”
Lev gave him a side-eye glance, slipping the flask back into his pocket. “Whatever.”
He was in some kind of mood tonight – as flighty and overdramatic as usual, but sulky on top of that. Austin had the strange urge to pull him under his arm and… take care of him? But sex was all that had ever been on the table between them.
“So what’s got you drinking tonight anyway?” he asked.
“Nothing new,” Lev said, his hand on his pocket as if he wanted to pull out the flask again. “I just can’t stand seeing how happy those guys are sometimes. Now that they’re all on stage together, it’s hard to look away.”
“You do know your policies on dating aren’t helping you find a relationship, right?”
“I’m not looking for one,” Lev snapped. “I’m bored, that’s all. I needed a quick break.”
Those lips parted again, and Austin felt heat rush through him as he remembered how they had wrapped around him. That was definitely a magnitude better than any blow job he’d had in the past. No matter how annoying Lev may have been, Austin craved more of him. Too bad he’s not looking for a relationship.
Pushing that strange thought out of his mind, Austin cleared his throat. “If you ever want to break that rule you’ve set up for yourself, you know where to find me.”
There was a pause, and Lev gave him a searching glance. “Not going to happen,” Lev finally said. “That rule’s in place for a reason.”
“And what would that be?”
“Guys only want to use me for sex, anyway,” Lev muttered. “This way, they don’t get the chance. If I don’t see them again, there’s no way for me to get attached.”
Austin frowned, fighting the urge to embrace Lev. Was that really what he thought of himself? “That’s depressing.”
“That’s life,” Lev said. “Only had one real boyfriend in my life, and he only texted when he was horny. If we planned to meet up and then he jacked off, he’d call off the plans.”
“That guy sounds like a jerk.”
“I haven’t gotten to the best part,” Lev said bitterly. “He would always tell me how I belonged to him and no one else could even look at me. I ate it right up, I was totally faithful. And while I was in love with him, it turns out he was engaged to some woman all along.”
“Damn,” Austin said, suddenly regretting the things he’d said to Lev.
He watched without comment as Lev pulled out his flask again and took another long sip. “He used to caress my face and tell me how I was lucky that he even wanted me. Even when I found out about his fiancée, he just laughed and said he couldn’t believe I ever thought it was something more. He told me it was always a side thing for him, and I shouldn’t expect anything better.”
“Christ, he’s worse than a jerk. He sounds like some kind of sociopath.”
Austin should’ve known Lev was hurting in some way. When a guy acted like he did, he was clearly trying to get over some kind of pain. He wished he could hurt the guy who had done this to Lev. Better yet, that he could’ve shielded him from being harmed in the first place.
“Maybe.”
“Don’t tell me you actually believe those things, kid.” The words came out sharper than Austin had intended.
“Of course not,” Lev said. “I am so fucking over him. I’m amazing, obviously. Who wouldn’t see that? I know exactly what I have to offer.”
Austin gave him a concerned glance. He’d spoken a little too quickly, and Austin’s protective instinct was telling him he needed to be careful with this one.
“I would beat the shit out of that guy if I ever saw him,” he said quietly.
Lev glanced at him again, and he must have seen the sympathy in Austin’s eyes. “Thanks.”
“That’s why you have that one-time-only policy, I guess?”
Lev gave him a sharp nod. “I’ll never trust a guy again.”
A group of tipsy women arrived, getting out of the car at the other end of the parking lot, and Austin sighed as he saw them. This conversation with Lev was going to have to be cut short, but they would come back to it soon. Austin would make sure of it. Nobody was going to make this kid feel like shit on his watch.
“I guess you have to do some work, huh?” Lev said.
“Probably. I’ll see you later, though.”
Maybe Austin should have been gentler with him in the first place. Lev needed a light touch, and Austin should have seen that. Austin wondered if he’d been wrong to leave Lev hanging the other week, or to use him sexually and not give him any pleasure. He stood by his actions, but maybe if he’d had the knowledge he had now, he would have done things a little differently.
Lev put on a whole tough act, but he was more fragile than he appeared. Austin had to keep that in mind from now on. He was definitely not going to hurt him like his ex had done.
“Listen, before you go in, I’m sorry if I was a jerk to you last time,” he told Lev. The group of girls approached, excited for their night on the town. Austin had to talk fast before they got here. “I want you to know that I didn’t want to fuck you in a parking lot. It was dirty, and you deserved better than that.”
Lev paused by the door, pursing his lips. “Is that all it was? It wasn’t some kind of lesson or punishment?”
Yes. No. Both. Austin couldn’t remember. With the girls approaching, he decided to ignore the question. “Listen, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you again.”
Lev looked at him bitterly, and his face showed exactly what he thought of that statement.
“Too late,” he whispered.
Twelve
Lev pumped the bar from his chest into the air above him. Each repetition took a good amount of exertion, but if he pushed himself hard enough, he would make it through the set. Four, five, six… He made it to the end and let the bar clatter onto the rack just above his head. His bench press was weak these days. He’d been slacking on going to the gym, and it was showing.
Although he’d been jogging pretty often, he’d let the hard stuff fall off. Well, no more. Spending time with Austin and thinking about his ex was making him want to get bigger.
As he sat up, he glanced around. He never knew when he might see a sweaty, ripped cutie in gym gear. There was no one who turned him on at the moment – not that he’d been getting turned on by other guys much since that encounter with Austin. The first thing he thought about when he jacked off was Austin’s massive length and muscled body.
In any case, even though there were no cuties to be seen, he did spot a familiar face. As soon as it registered that it was Jesse, he jumped off the bench and waved eagerly.
His buddy came over a second later. “Hey, L. What’s up?”
“Just working out. Haven’t been spending as much time here as I should.”
“Yeah, I haven’t seen you here lately.”
“Probably because you’ve been shacked up with your boyfriend,” Lev pointed out.
“Fair enough,” Jesse drawled. “We definitely haven’t been getting out as much as we used to. We’re having dinner with Wright and Yorick tonight, though. You want to come?”
Lev frowned at hi
m. “Is this one of your couples-only things? Because if it is, hell no.”
“Naw, nothing like that. We decided to get together since we’re all heading to the same place. It’s just pizza, nothing fancy.”
Lev shrugged. Being the fifth wheel didn’t exactly sound appealing, but his aunt was at work and he definitely didn’t feel like eating alone. He could deal with a little awkwardness for the sake of some company. “Okay,” he said.
After finishing his workout, he met Jesse again at the door. They drove together to the pizza place, where Shade, Wright, and Yorick were inside.
As soon as they got in the door, Lev felt an unexpected presence. Austin hulked over everyone else in the tiny booth. Lev turned to Jesse and hissed, “You didn’t tell me he was going to be here.”
“Who, Austin? I didn’t know. I guess Wright brought him. They work out together.”
Lev narrowed his eyes, then tingled all over as Austin’s gaze landed on him. Those brown eyes could scorch him from twenty feet away. “Fine,” he said.
Jesse gave him a funny look, and Lev realized his friend had no idea what was going on. Now that Jesse spent so much time with Shade, they didn’t hang out as much as they used to. Jesse was aware of the time he and Austin had left Man Planet together, but nothing more.
Yorick and Wright were on one side of the booth, Wright’s arm around Yorick. Jesse sat down next to Shade on the other side, and they put their hands on each other’s knees. Then there was Austin, alone at the end of the booth. Lev had no choice but to sit across from him.
Funny. If things were a tiny bit different, this could’ve been another couples-only event.
Lev’s friends greeted him and he said hello back, trying to act like the biggest frustration in his life wasn’t seated two feet away from him.
“It’s chilly tonight,” Shade said, hugging his arms around himself.
“Here, take my jacket,” Jesse told him.
“No, no, I don’t want to. I’m not that cold.”
Ignoring his protests, Jesse took off his trademark leather jacket and wrapped it around Shade’s shoulders. Shade couldn’t pull it off quite like Jesse, but the little smile that came over his face was kind of adorable. Once Shade looked away, Jesse shivered. Lev’s heart swelled, and he let out an inaudible sigh.
“Pizza’s ready,” the guy behind the counter called.
Shade got up to get it, and Jesse turned to Lev. “These guys ordered before we got here. We’re getting a whole pizza since there’s so many of us. Pepperoni.”
“Sounds good to me.” Didn’t matter what was on the pizza. Lev was going to eat it in about two seconds and get the hell away from Austin. He kept his eyes firmly away from his too-good-looking, septuple-pierced face.
“You want a drink?”
“No, I’m good.” Lev glanced at the scuffed, dirty table. “You guys come here a lot?”
“We sure do,” Shade said, sliding back into the booth. He put the pizza box and a stack of paper plates on the table. “It’s kind of our place.”
Lev turned his head so Shade wouldn’t see his eyes roll. These two couldn’t turn off their whole adorable couple routine for thirty seconds. “That’s nice.”
Yorick opened the box and Wright passed out the plates. When Lev reached out for a slice, his hand nearly brushed against Austin’s. He pulled back as if he’d been burned. Even without looking at Austin, he could feel his eyes on him.
He stared at his plate. A pizza slice dropped onto it as if it had come out of thin air. Lev didn’t look to see who had done it, but only one person could be the owner of that massive hand. “Thank you,” he mumbled.
“So, Austin, you must be pretty happy lately,” Shade said conversationally. “The Tool Shed is doing so much better.”
Lev licked tomato sauce off his lip. It was getting hard to keep his eyes on his plate. He glanced over at Shade, but when Austin spoke, he couldn’t resist looking over at him. He immediately regretted it. Austin was still looking at him, and his gaze threatened to suck Lev in.
“It’s more Trenton that’s happy.” Austin’s tone was casual, as if he had no clue of the effect he was having on Lev. “It’s his club, after all.”
“That he opened because of you,” Shade said.
Now Lev was too curious to keep quiet. “How’s that work?” He directed the question at Shade rather than at Austin.
Despite that, Austin was the one to answer. “Trenton used to work his ass off,” he said. “One minimum wage job after another. Never had shit to show for it… at least, that’s what I thought. When my mom got scammed the first time, he gave her a few grand. Turns out he was squirreling every extra penny into his savings. When you do that for a few years, it adds up.”
Lev looked at him, away, and back as he spoke. His body responded a little too much for him to keep his eyes on Austin. “Where do you come into this?”
“Once I found out, I told him he was a fucking moron. He wanted to give all his cash to our mom. It would’ve taken her about a minute to get scammed out of everything he’d worked for. I gave him a come-to-Jesus talk. Told him to make something of himself.”
“And he agreed?” Lev asked.
Austin’s lips curved upward, and the two piercings in the bottom one glimmered. “Only when I dared him to do it.”
“Sometimes people need that kind of push,” Wright put in.
“The first halfway-viable business he came across was a strip joint,” Austin went on. “He decided to go for it. Of course, it helped that his little brother was already working as a bouncer. I promised to come along and watch over everything. He doesn’t even know this, but if there’s ever a problem, I’ll pound the shit out of whoever fucked with him.”
With a full-body shiver, Lev fidgeted in his seat. He would rather Austin pound the shit out of him.
“I’m pretty glad you did that,” Jesse said, a moony look coming over his face. “Without you, I might never have found this guy.” He covered Shade’s hand with his own.
“Same here,” Yorick said. “I might still think I was into girls if I hadn’t met Wright, and we only met because of you.”
Ugh! “Could you all cut out the lovey-dovey bullshit for, like, five minutes?” Lev demanded.
“You’d understand if you had a boyfriend, L.” Jesse gave him a pitying stare. “You’re the only one left without one. If you had a man, you could be just as happy as the rest of us.”
Lev tensed up, feeling Austin’s gaze on him again. “Not looking. I’m perfectly happy. One and done, that’s my policy. You know that.”
“Austin’s single too,” Wright put in. “He needs to find somebody. I was telling him the other day to get on Grindr or Scruff.”
“He should get some tips from L on that,” Jesse said. “How many dudes have you met up with this week, L?”
Lev sighed, looking down at his pizza. “I’m having my worst dry spell in ages,” he said. “It’s been, like, two weeks. It’s awful.”
“We can change that,” Jesse said. “Let me see your phone.”
Raising an eyebrow, Lev handed it over. Usually nobody wanted to hear the dirty details of his hookups, especially now that all his friends were in relationships. “I thought it’d be TMI,” he said.
“Maybe before, but now I need to live vicariously through you,” Jesse said.
“I’m curious, too,” Wright said. “I never tried one of those things.”
“I definitely didn’t,” Yorick put in.
Lev laughed. “You’re lucky you didn’t need to.”
Not having his experiences didn’t seem to bother any of the others. They were all so perfectly happy in their couples. It almost made Lev wonder what it would be like… but he’d tried that route once, and it wasn’t for him.
“All right,” Jesse said, holding up the phone so all of them could see it. Everyone but Austin leaned in, trying to get a better look. “Hold tight, guys. We’re going to cross over to the dark side.”
Lev’s eyes met Austin’s for a moment, and he searched his gaze for a hint of the emotion behind those clear blue eyes. He found nothing there.
He pulled his gaze away.
Thirteen
Austin fidgeted in the booth, less and less comfortable with each passing second. He’d been surprised enough when Wright invited him to dinner with the two couples, and he wondered if they really hadn’t planned on Lev coming along.
It would have seemed almost like they were trying to set them up, except no one was even implying there could be anything between them. They were so oddly matched as a pair that none of their friends would have thought they’d be into each other. The idea of them even having a sexual relationship was apparently unimaginable.
And yet Austin couldn’t stop thinking about Lev. His lean body, his hot mouth… but not just the physical. Austin was hung up on his irritating and infuriating and endlessly alluring personality.
He brought his attention back to the table, where an unpleasant scene was unfolding before him. “Just look at the amount of guys in town,” Jesse said, flicking his finger along the screen. Austin couldn’t see the phone, but he could imagine the rows of hunky men on there.
Shade leaned over his shoulder. “I had no idea there were so many gay guys in town. Maybe I should have shopped around a little more before settling down.”
“You made me go through enough without shopping around,” Jesse said, knocking his knee against Shade’s.
“My whole fake boyfriend thing didn’t help,” Shade said with a laugh.
“You’re telling me you can’t get laid by any of these guys?” Jesse asked Lev, taking the phone back from Shade. “This one looks all right. What’s wrong with him?”
Lev pulled the phone back from him and took a look, frowning before handing it back. “Already fucked him.”
Jealousy surged within Austin, and he clenched the edge of the table. He wasn’t going to say anything. That wasn’t his place. Even hearing that Lev was in a “dry spell” of sorts didn’t help. Austin just…