by B. B. Hamel
I leaned back, my heart skipping a beat.
I knew Darren would try to get me back. He couldn’t leave me in Kaspar’s clutches, not when he knew what Kaspar wanted. I wasn’t sure if he realized Erin set it all up, but it didn’t matter. She’d escape punishment like she always did, assuming he realized.
They didn’t bother to clean up. Kaspar ordered his men to fan out and lock down the hotel. Two more guards came and gathered me and all my things, hustling me into the hallway. Kaspar followed like a shadow, like a starving hound. I looked back at him over my shoulder and he was staring at me, unable to look away.
Darren came for me. I knew he would, but I had no clue it’d be so bloody.
Darren came, and he failed.
We rode the elevator in silence. Kaspar stood close. He smelled like copper and sweat. It was strangely alluring, and I wanted to touch his cheek, to dig my nails into the soft skin along his face, to mar his pretty eyes and crack his perfect nose. He led me out into the night then shoved me into the back of a black SUV.
He sat next to me and stared out the window as we drove.
“You’re scared, aren’t you?” I knew I shouldn’t provoke him, but I couldn’t help myself. I was coming down from the adrenaline high and wanted to lash out. I was angry that Darren failed, and Kaspar was the obvious target for my ire.
“I wouldn’t say scared, but I am curious.” He glanced at me sidelong. “How did he find out where I was keeping you?”
“Darren’s an Oligarch. He has as many resources as you do.”
“Perhaps. But I wonder.”
“You think Redmond betrayed you?”
“No, not Redmond, but someone else.”
I chewed on my lip. Nobody else knew where I was—except for his security team.
“You think one of your people tipped him off?”
He gestured in the air with his hand. I was very aware of the two guards sitting up front listening intently.
“I know that all of the Oligarchs try to keep spies within each other’s households. It’s part of the game we play. If I catch one, I kill him, but I don’t punish his master, just like they don’t punish me when they catch my little mice.”
“You think my brother’s spy gave him your position.”
“It’s possible. What bothers me more is that he acted on the information.”
“Darren’s not going to let you keep me.”
He didn’t reply right away. Instead, he gave me a long, probing look. “Are you sure about that?”
“I’m positive.”
“He’s not a stupid man. He understands what an alliance between our two families could mean for him. If he were to give his blessing—”
“He wouldn’t.” My anger flared and I clenched my jaw tight.
“If he did, then our two houses could unite. We’d be nearly unstoppable.”
“Then why hasn’t he done it yet?”
“I suspect your sister has a part to play in that.” He laughed softly. “Little ambitious Erin. She’s too smart for her own good. She’ll get herself killed if she keeps trying to wrestle power away from Darren.”
My feet went cold and I looked away. “It doesn’t matter what Erin wants or what Darren thinks. I’m not going to marry you. Why don’t we stop this game before you get killed?”
“That’s not going to happen, my treasure. You’re mine to have and to keep, and soon you’ll see that I’m the only person in this world that cares about you.”
I looked back at him and suddenly lashed out. I pushed his shoulder, shoving him against the door. He barely moved, and only grinned bigger, which made me shove against him over and over again, viciously grinding my teeth until he finally grabbed my wrist and pushed me away.
I stared at him, breathing hard. My hair was a mess and I smelled terrible, a mixture of sticky fear sweat and blood. I hated Kaspar, I hated him so much for everything he’d done to me—and still I knew he might be right.
The thought made me so irrationally angry that I didn’t know how to control it.
He held me back and met my gaze.
“You see it, don’t you? To everyone else, you’re some minor bit player. You’re not important. But to me, you’re everything.”
“I don’t understand why you’re so obsessed with me.”
He tilted his head. “Obsessed. That’s a good word. You are an obsession. You consume me, Penny. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the day we met back at Blackwoods.”
“You’re insane. You’re a stalker.”
“All true, and still doesn’t change the fact that I’m the only person who gives a damn about you. I want you to be happy.”
“You want me to be obedient. You’re just another asshole trying to control my life.”
“I want you obedient in some ways.” His smile was sickening and suggestive. “But in others, I prefer it when you’re willful.”
“You still haven’t answered the question. You could have any woman in the world. Why me?”
He seemed to think about it as he relaxed his grip and pulled back. He touched his bottom lip and I imagined biting it hard enough to make it bleed, and wondered if he’d like that.
“Trying to answer that question is like trying to explain why I enjoy good whiskey, or jazz music, or the feeling of rain on a warm summer night. You’re ineffable to me, Penny. You’re graceful, and beautiful, and funny. I love the way you laugh and wrinkle your nose. I love how angry you get. I love the pink of your skin. I love your plump lips and how your nipples stiffen when you’re excited.”
I shifted side to side. “They do not.”
“They do, my pet. I know more about you than you know about yourself. I know you get the hiccups if you laugh too much. You hate raw carrots, but you’ll eat them cooked. You like cotton but think synthetic fibers are itchy, and I agree, by the way. You love the smell of lavender, and the smell of cooking fish makes you nauseous—but you love to eat it. I’ve studied you, Penny, in a way that nobody else has, because I’m the only one that ever cared for you.”
I stared at him, my mouth hanging open, and I kept thinking—
What if he was right?
He did know me. I couldn’t deny it. Everything he said was true, and he likely knew even more than he was letting on. I’d seen the way he watched me with those careful eyes, always studying, always measuring and weighing, and he’d been doing it for years and years.
Nobody else had ever bothered to learn me like he had.
It was terrible. I had always wanted someone to care about me as deeply as he seemed to and yet Kaspar took it too far. He took too much and although he said he cared, it was only superficial.
I was a doll to him, like I was a doll to everyone else.
A little toy for him to play with.
So what if he liked my laugh and thought I was pretty?
None of that mattered.
He didn’t give a damn about me.
“You’re wrong,” I said softly, shaking my head.
“Tell me who wants you like I do.”
“Nobody does, but whatever you feel isn’t real, Kaspar. It’s just obsession. You want to own me, but that’s not what love is.”
He leaned across the seat, inches away from my lips.
“Who said anything about love? I want to fuck you and keep you, little toy.”
I stayed perfectly still until he pulled away.
The SUV stopped in front of a nondescript building on a quiet, narrow block. Kaspar got out and gestured for me to follow. He led me into a house, clean and tidy, recently updated though not nearly as expensive and lavish as the hotel, and showed me to a room.
It was comfortable, but plain.
“This is where we’ll stay until our business in Rome is complete.”
“You own this place?”
“It’s one of my safe houses. I had hoped that I could keep you in the manner to which you’ve been accustomed, but unfortunately tonight proved I’ll
have to be more careful.”
I sat on the bed and shook my head sadly. “If you think I care about pretty hotels and nice views, you don’t know me at all.”
He stared at me from the doorway then left me alone.
I leaned back on the bed and closed my eyes.
I heard the screams of men dying. Smelled the blood and piss and vomit and shit.
And felt Kaspar’s hand on my wrist, yanking it back.
Not love. It wasn’t love.
Obsession. Desire.
Hot and painful, but brief.
He’d burn himself out—and then what?
I’d be nothing.
A dove in a cage.
That was all I’d ever be.
8
Penny
Present Day
Rome, Italy
The house might’ve been simple and small, but it had everything I needed, and the back yard was pretty. An olive tree cast its shade over a metal table, and I sat sipping an espresso while nearby an old woman sang. I didn’t understand her accent, but the melody was haunting and sweet.
Three days since the attack. I expected something to happen—some kind of aftermath—but my boredom only got worse. Kaspar stayed somewhere else, and stopped in most evenings to check on me, like I was a dog he left home while he went to work. The bodyguards kept me company, though they mostly stayed away. Only Scott spoke to me, and even he seemed hesitant to hold a conversation.
“Where are you from?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could. I didn’t want him to know how desperate I was to hear someone speak English. Everything on TV was in Italian, and although the dramas seemed pretty awesome, I couldn’t really understand what was happening half the time.
He didn’t look over. “Iowa.”
“Oh, Iowa? It’s a big state. Were you a farm boy?”
“Something like that.”
“You can talk to me, you know.”
He grimaced. “No, I really can’t.”
“Is there some rule against it?”
“No, but—”
“Then come on. I’m so bored sitting around here. Kaspar’s not around. I’m not asking you to do something bad. Just a little conversation, is all.”
He hesitated, looked back toward the house, then glanced over at me.
“I’m from a small town. You could say I’m a farm boy, although my dad was a pharmacist.”
“That’s a good job. What about your mom?”
“Paralegal. Mostly she stayed home and raised me and my four brothers.”
“Four brothers? That’s a big family.”
“So they say. Didn’t seem big to me at the time.”
“I had four siblings. Older brother, two older sisters, and a younger brother. Were you the oldest?”
“Youngest. I joined the Marines right out of high school. Did a few tours in Iraq.”
“That must’ve been hard. I guess now I understand how you ended up working for Kaspar.”
Scott shrugged and looked away. “He pays well and on time. Not everyone does.”
“Is that all you look for in an employer? Someone with lots of money and a sense of accountability?”
“I’m not sure what you’re looking for from me, but you won’t find it. I’m not going to let you leave no matter what you say.”
I snorted out a laugh. “That’s not what I meant. More like, why risk your life for him? What’s he to you?”
Scott was quiet for a long moment. “I’m not risking my life for him. I’m risking it for you.”
That made me sit up straight. “Excuse me?”
“Kaspar can take care of himself, but someone needs to watch your back. I’m not saying this because I like you, but because I’m afraid you’re going to get yourself killed if nobody steps up.”
“How chivalrous.”
“Hell, you don’t know me.” He walked over, glaring angrily. “I’m not trying to be nice to you, hear me? I don’t care about you. I only care about the job.”
“Then why say you’re sticking around for me?”
He ground his jaw and loomed over me.
The back door opened and Kaspar stepped out.
Nobody moved. Scott stiffened, grimacing like he’d been punched in the kidney. My mouth opened, and I wanted to explain, but I couldn’t find the words.
Kaspar stared, taking in the scene.
“What are you two talking about?” he finally asked.
Scott turned and stood with his back straight, like he was addressing a superior officer. “I was telling the prisoner that—”
“The prisoner?” Kaspar’s lips quirked. “Is that what she is?”
Scott seemed flustered. “I was telling her that I have orders not to bother her.”
“That’s right, you do. And yet I see you standing by her table.” He tilted his head and came closer. “What were you talking about?”
“Kaspar, leave him alone,” I said angrily, trying to use my rage to mask the fear.
He ignored me. Scott shook his head. “Nothing, sir.”
Kaspar punched Scott in the gut. He moved faster than I expected. Scott gasped and doubled over, and looked like he might try to defend himself, but Kaspar was vicious. His knee came up and smashed into Scott’s nose, cracking his face back.
Scott slumped over and hit the ground hard. He groaned as Kaspar kicked him in the guts twice then stomped once on his face. Another crack, another broken bone. Blood dribbled from Scott’s mouth and he spit out a tooth.
I screamed and knocked back my chair as I got to my feet.
Kaspar looked like he wanted to keep kicking Scott. I assumed he would’ve, if I hadn’t ran over and grabbed his arm. I pulled hard, screaming at him to stop, and Kaspar allowed me to steer him back to the kitchen and into the door. We left Scott on the ground, spitting blood and moaning in pain.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I shouted at Kaspar as he adjusted his tie.
The other guards stared, unmoving. Neither of them seemed surprised.
“They had orders not to talk to you. Scott disregarded those orders.”
“He was being nice to me. Do you have any idea how bored I am? We were just talking about where we grew up.”
“You don’t talk to anyone when you’re in my possession,” he snarled, leaning down into my face.
I flinched back and raised my hands to defend myself.
That made him pause. He stared at me, his eyes wide with surprise. I lowered my arms, body still tense, waiting for the blow.
“You think I’m going to hit you,” he said softly like I betrayed him in the worst possible way.
“I just watched you nearly beat a man to death. I don’t know what you’re capable of.”
He took a deep breath and composed himself. “I won’t ever hit you, Penny.”
“But you will keep me captive, pull my hair, and kill people if they talk to me. You’re such a great person.”
His expression hardened as he looked over his shoulder back toward where Scott still lay on the concrete patio.
“You have to understand my position. I can’t bring you with me every day. It’s too dangerous. But if I leave you here, these men—”
“These men, what? You think I’m so bored and sad and angry that I’ll throw myself at them? You think I’m looking to get fucked by your bodyguards while you’re away?”
His hands curled into fists. “No, I don’t.”
“Then don’t beat someone to death for talking to me.”
“I beat him to death for wanting you. You think I haven’t noticed the way he looks at you? He saved you the night your brother attacked, and ever since then he’s been mooning over you like a pathetic teenager. You don’t notice because you’re not used to that sort of attention, but that dumb fuck deserved what he got.”
I paced across the kitchen, fuming. “You’re such a bastard. You have an answer for everything, don’t you?” I hated that he was right. Scott all but admitted it outside.
&n
bsp; And even still, Kaspar shouldn’t have beaten him like that.
So why did I feel a strange attraction pulling at my stomach, twisting it into knots?
9
Penny
Present Day
Rome, Italy
Watching Kaspar beat Scott nearly to death taught me two things.
First, Kaspar was truly a monster. He was possessive, controlling, and easily jealous, and if I wanted to survive for long, I had to find a way to handle him.
After Scott’s savage punishment, none of the other guards would so much as look me in the eye. They talked around me like I wasn’t there and acted as though I were a piece of furniture. They responded to direct requests—they’d bring me something if I asked for it, for example—but they kept all interactions as short and polite as possible.
I was even more alone.
But the other lesson I learned was much more interesting.
It was something Kaspar either didn’t want me to know or didn’t realize himself. But speaking with Scott for that very brief moment showed me just how vulnerable my captor could be.
His men weren’t loyal.
Oh, they took his money. Scott even seemed willing to kill and die for Kaspar.
But that didn’t mean they’d do everything he asked.
The Servant men were unwavering. Darren was ruthless about that. He expected perfect obedience, but he rewarded them handsomely, and treated them like family.
Kaspar treated his men like employees, and it showed.
I wouldn’t be able to flirt my way out of this, not after what happened to Scott. Any halfway sane person wouldn’t come within spitting distance of me, not when Kaspar was likely to do something worse to them later on.
But maybe there was something I could exploit.
I hated myself for thinking this way, but I couldn’t help it. I was trained as a Servant, even if I was never destined for a leadership position. My parents made sure that I knew how to fight and manipulate people, and though I’d never put those skills to good use, I suddenly realized that this was my chance to prove myself.
I had purpose. I could be helpful. I could be useful.