by B. B. Hamel
I moved to straddle him, but he pushed me down instead.
I stared at him as he spread my legs and pressed his cock against my aching, needy slit. His lips pressed against mine as he pushed inside and filled me.
I gasped, arching my back, wrapping my legs around his hips.
Finally, after so much time. He hadn’t changed, not one bit. He still felt incredible deep between my legs, better than I’d ever felt before or since. He moved himself slowly, fucking me gently, before pinning my hands down and taking me faster.
“You’re all I ever dream about,” he said, fucking me, grinding his hips against my clit. “Your lips and eyes. Your tongue. The way you sucked my cock that night, just like you sucked me now. I dream about your moans, about your body as you come, your back, your legs. Everything about you makes me stupid with need, and I won’t let you go, Penny. Now that I have you, I won’t ever let you go.”
I knew he wasn’t lying. There was no escape for me. Not from this man, not now that I let him inside. I moaned, rolled my hips, bucked against him.
I wanted him to fuck me.
And he obliged. Rough, savage. He was a conquering god come down on his chariot to ravish me. His muscles flexed and rippled, his arms like granite, his chest like fire. His cock was a constant note of pure bliss and thrill and luxury. I took him and took him and took him, and never wanted him to leave.
He held me down and fucked me.
I arched my back, huffing, gasping. I could barely breathe. Moans played on my lips. He bit my shoulder. His finger intertwined with mine. He fucked me faster, grinding and taking and taking and taking, and I screamed out as the orgasm built between my legs, unyielding, impossible to stop, demanding satiation, just like him.
I came in a rush. He didn’t stop, only moaned his own enjoyment and kept going until I was finished, a puddle, spent and overwhelmed.
And he still wasn’t done. No, he wasn’t nearly done. He licked me, teased me, whispered in my ear until I felt the thrill again. “I want you spread wide and moaning. I need you, every inch of you. I love the way you move, the way you moan, your tongue and lips, your soaking pussy. I can’t get enough of fucking you, Penny.”
He turned me around, held me down. He took me, used me, destroyed me. Kaspar was a monster, and yes, he was a dazzling, magnificent monster, and his cock felt like heaven. He slapped my ass, pulled my hair, showed me exactly how ferocious he could be.
That barbarian, that harsh bastard. I came again, back arching, and when I finished, he made me take him in my mouth and came on my tongue.
I swallowed it, every drop. I kissed him when I was done, and he purred into my lips.
“Lovely,” he whispered, kissing sweat from my neck, my shoulders. “You’re stunning, Penny. My memory of you pales in comparison.”
“And here I am, barely ever thinking about you.”
That earned another slap on my ass. I sighed and buried my face in the pillow.
“You’re a liar. I know you think you hate me, but you can’t deny what we had. What we still can have.”
“I don’t know what I think anymore.”
He nodded and kissed my lower back. He kissed my ass, my shoulders. I had a feeling he was about to spread me wide and start the process over again, so I rolled away, pulling the sheets around my breasts.
He watched me with a smirk.
“Pulling away so soon? I hoped I’d get the morning with you.”
“I came to my senses.”
“You came because I fucked you. Sense has nothing to do with it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t think what just happened means anything. I still want to go home. I’m not going to marry you.”
He shrugged, as if that didn’t matter. “You say that now. But give it a few hours. You’ll keep thinking about how I make you feel and you’ll come back to me.”
“Sex isn’t enough, Kaspar. I’m not going to pretend like it isn’t good—”
“Like it isn’t perfect,” he said, his voice husky and tempting, his eyes hot fire.
I had to look away. “Okay, yes, it’s mind-blowing. It’s the best sex I’ve ever had by far. You make me come like my world’s about to end. Is that what you want to hear?”
“All understatements, but you’re about right.”
I sighed in frustration. “I still won’t marry you. I can’t be forced into it. If you want me—”
“Don’t say I have to let you go.” He came to me, still naked. What a man. I struggled to maintain eye contact as I tugged the sheets loose and kept them wrapped around my chest like a toga. “That’s not going to happen. Now that you’re mine, I intend on keeping you and never letting you out of my sight again.”
“Kaspar,” I said softly, shaking my head.
He pinned me against the wall. His lips snarled as he brushed them against mine. “Tell me you don’t want me to fuck you again. Tell me you don’t want me to bend you over this bed and take you until you scream.”
“I do want it, but—”
“Then stop letting the past ruin the present.”
“How am I supposed to do that? I keep thinking about her. Ever since you came back into my life.”
“Alice is dead. She’s dead for a good reason.”
“What good reason could you possibly have for strangling my roommate?” Anger flared and I pushed back against him, but he wouldn’t let me go. “Why did you do it, Kaspar? Why won’t you tell me, you asshole?” I had to grip the sheet, or else it would drop and I’d be completely exposed to him. For some reason, I needed the thin cotton to act as a shield between us, since he didn’t bother to cover up. His cock was half hard, like my anger excited him.
“You won’t believe me. I keep telling you that.”
“Which only makes me think you’re a liar.”
“I intend on proving myself. Words are easy, but deeds mean more. That’s why I know you want me. I can feel it in your body every time I touch you.”
“Physical reactions to stimulus.”
“Liar.” He stared into my eyes, threatening and angelic. I knew he’d never hurt me, despite the intimidation.
“Tell me why, Kaspar.”
I saw the indecision. Hesitation rippled across his expression—he wanted to say it.
But he was afraid. He was actually afraid.
And right then I knew that he wasn’t making all this up.
He killed Alice for a reason.
Whether that was a good reason or not, I didn’t know, because he wouldn’t tell me.
I touched his cheek. I released the sheet. It slipped, revealing more of my breasts. I touched him with both hands as gently as I could, like baring myself to an enraged tiger.
“Please, Kaspar,” I whispered. “Tell me why.”
He took in a deep breath and let it out as my sheet fell away.
“Maeve sent Alice to kill you. She planned on murdering you that night and I stopped her.”
I’d never felt so naked before in my life.
My hands dropped away.
He looked like someone stabbed him in the guts.
“That can’t be true.” I shook my head, confused. “She was just a regular girl. She didn’t—she wasn’t—” I stopped, gaping at him.
It made a kind of sick sense.
Kaspar didn’t kill for no reason. I believed that now after spending all this time with him. He was a beast, but he was a smart beast. He knew how to channel his rage to higher purposes.
Strangling Alice for no reason won him nothing. It only alienated me—the person he cared for more in this world.
Maeve sent Alice to kill me.
“How do you know?” I asked him finally, crossed my arms over my chest.
He saw my discomfort and pulled away. I grabbed the sheet from the floor and wrapped it tightly. I was grateful for that small comfort as he stalked across the room, pacing back and forth.
“It took me a while to figure it out. She watched you carefully, too carefull
y, and I thought she might be in love with you at first. But then I noticed she had nothing personal on her side of the room. Everything was too clean, too neat and orderly. Too brand new, straight from the package. There were no dents or dings or scuffs on anything.”
“Like she’d been given a new life.” I whispered the words. I didn’t want to believe this madness.
“I caught her following us on our first date. After that, I tapped her phone. She called Maeve three times and spoke in code with her, but I knew the truth after their first contact. Maeve sent Alice to kill you. Maeve wanted to start a war with your family, back when the Servants were still weak.”
I shook my head. “This is insane.”
“It’s the truth. Did you know she saw us having sex that night? The little rat was watching from the corner, staring at us, touching herself. The sick little—” He stopped because he saw the horror on my face.
“She was watching?” Shame flooded me. “Touching herself?”
His expression softened. “Shit, Penny. I shouldn’t have said—”
“And you know? You saw her doing it and you didn’t stop me? When did you realize?”
“Penny—”
“When did you figure out she was in the room?”
“When I was fucking you from behind. I heard something when you came. When I stood up and you were on your knees, I saw her.”
“Oh my god.” My mind raced, trying to remember that night. “She was watching. What the fuck, Kaspar? You let her?”
“I didn’t let her. When I caught her, she ran.”
“You didn’t tell me?”
“What would that have done?”
“I don’t know!” I shook my head quickly and waved at the door. “I want you to leave.”
“Penny,” he said, tone warning. “You understand why I did it. I’m not sure you believe me yet, but you will.”
“How can you prove it? Alice is dead.”
“Maeve isn’t. I’m going to burn her house to the ground and make her confess before I cut her throat.”
I laughed as the horrible truth became clear. “You’ve been telling the truth the whole time. You’re doing all this for me. There’s some insane, sick part of you that thinks you’re doing the right thing.”
“Penny. I am doing the right thing. Maeve tried to kill you.”
“Years ago! And it didn’t work!” I gestured at him with one hand. I felt disgusting, bitter, and betrayed. Alice was a liar. I mourned her for so long, but she was a liar. Details of that night suddenly made a lot more sense, and I was disgusted with myself for not seeing the truth sooner.
I let her lie to me. She spied, even watched me having sex with Kaspar. I felt filthy and used.
“Maeve is going to pay for what she did. Everything I’ve done for the past few years has been leading me to this moment.” He came closer, rage flowing off him in waves. “I’m going to cut the head off that snake and parade her body around so everyone will know what happens when they try to hurt you.”
I stared at him and didn’t know what to say.
I felt bitter and exhausted.
Alice was a liar. She wanted to kill me. Kaspar knew and strangled her to death to save my life.
He let her watched us have sex. She wanted to watch.
Hell, she touched herself.
“Did she love me?” I asked softly.
“I’m not sure. I don’t know if she was capable of that.”
“Was everything a lie back then?”
“I wanted to tell you in a better way. I wanted to show you.”
I waved him off and stared at the rumpled bed. Just a short time ago, he gave me some of the best pleasure of my life.
Now it was ugly and wrong.
“Please get out. I need to think.”
He was quiet, assessing.
“Take the time you need, but I’m not stopping.”
“What’s the point? Will killing Maeve change anything? I know the truth now. I still won’t marry you.”
He grimaced and looked at his hands. The crazy bastard really thought it would change my mind.
Well, it didn’t.
“Finishing Maeve might not fix things between us, but she still deserves what I have coming for her. You don’t have to want it. I’m going to burn her to ashes.”
I shook my head. “Leave me alone then. Go be a big, scary man somewhere else. I’m so tired of all these games.”
He gave me one last look, then his face hardened, and he left. The door shut behind him and I collapsed onto the bed.
Sobs racked my chest.
I cried for Alice. For poor, stupid, lying Alice.
I cried for myself. I never hurt anyone, and yet people still wanted to hurt me. All because of who I was.
Because of the world I was born into.
I sobbed for my sister. God, I missed Livvie so much.
I sobbed for Kaspar. Poor, obsessed Kaspar. Glorious and incredible Kaspar.
He might’ve been the only person left in the world that really cared about me.
Most of all, I sobbed for the life Alice could’ve had, if only I’d died instead.
22
Alice
Eight Years Ago
Blackwoods College
I didn’t go back to the dorm that night. I slept in the library and woke with an aching back and a disgusting taste in my mouth. It was after ten in the morning and Penny was probably at class.
I snuck into our room. It looked like it always did. I showered, brushed my teeth, and got my things.
Maeve made arrangements. She hadn’t sent me in empty-handed, although I’d avoided using what she provided in case anyone noticed.
The apartment was above a pizza place a few blocks off campus. It was small and dingy, but stocked with supplies. Knives, guns, medicine, bandages. A mattress on the floor and dry goods in the cupboard.
Exactly what I’d need in case I had to lie low somewhere.
I went through the provisions and packed a few things into a bag. I thought of Maeve and steeled myself for what I had to do. She was the reason for all this, and if I could only follow her plan then I might have a place by her side.
For me, that was heaven.
Last night woke me up. Kaspar’s stare, his lack of surprise, like he knew I was there getting myself off while they fucked and he liked it.
Worse than that was my own desire for Penny.
It made me stupid.
I saw that now. Wanting Penny the way I did made me ignore the reason I was sent to this place. I could make excuses about wanting to have a normal life, but they were all lies.
Penny was the reason I couldn’t kill Penny.
I wanted her. Wanted to fuck her, to kiss her lips, lick her pussy, grind myself against her slick cunt until we both came.
I saw it so clearly now. I was blinded by my own stupid emotions, and it was time to push them aside.
Just like Maeve taught me.
I spent the afternoon in the apartment. I made pasta and ate it plain with salt. I looked out the window, half expecting to find Kaspar standing in the street.
I was alone. Utterly alone.
Around five, I left and headed back to campus. The bag felt too heavy on my shoulder. My mission was a weight around my neck.
Penny, poor, sweet Penny.
She didn’t deserve this. I didn’t either.
I was still going to do it.
Her last class got out at six fifteen. I went to our room, careful to make sure that Kaspar wasn’t watching. I didn’t spot him, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. I had to hope that psycho couldn’t be everywhere all the time.
I set up my things and lounged on the bed like I’d been asleep for half the day.
Penny came bustling into a little while later. She threw her backpack on her bed and looked surprised to see me as I sat up on one elbow. My eyes were bloodshot and tired and I grinned.
“You look like crap,” Penny said. “Where’ve
you been? You didn’t come home last night. You didn’t answer your phone. I was worried.”
“Sorry. I pulled an all-nighter at the library then right to my test. I crashed after and my phone’s dead.”
“Ah, that sucks.” She sat down at her desk and stretched. “How’d it go? Studying helped?”
“I hope so. Otherwise, all this was a waste.” I grinned at her. “How was your date?”
Her eyes went fuzzy. I could still smell sex in the room.
“It was good. I think I like him.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. I’m not sure how I feel about it though.” She hesitated, smiling to herself. “I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t know how I should handle it.”
“You never liked a guy?”
“Honestly? Not really. I’ve had crushes and a couple dumb boyfriends in high school, but nothing serious. Nothing like whatever this is with Kaspar.”
“It’s a good thing though, right? You should be happy.”
“I’m not sure how I feel. Things in my life are complicated and Kaspar would only make it worse.”
“Like what?” My pulse quickened. This was the closest she’d ever gotten to mentioning her Oligarch family before. I could only imagine the hesitation she felt.
If she wanted to spill it all, she didn’t let herself. Instead, she stood, patted her thighs, and wiped her hands together like she was brushing something away.
“Forget it. Want to get some food in a minute?”
“Yeah, sure, that’d be good. I just need to shower.”
She headed into the bathroom. “Shower fast!” she called out as she closed the door.
I jumped to my feet and ran across the room. I had a small packet of white powder in my pocket. I took it out, ripped it open, and unscrewed Penny’s Nalgene water bottle. I dumped the packet, replaced the lid, and shook it hard. I shook until I heard the toilet flush, then put it back and collapsed back into bed, staring up at the ceiling.