by B. B. Hamel
Once to death, and again to reality.
Erin gave me Kaspar, and he gave me new life.
I owed her something for that. In a sick way, she did me a favor. So while I hated her for selling me out, I loved her for it, too.
Which made everything so much more complicated.
“I don’t know,” I said finally, guts wrenching.
“Then I won’t kill her until you’re sure.” He leaned down and kissed me, lips soft and warm against mine. I shivered and pressed myself hard against him, needing his strength, his body, his arms.
The kiss deepened as I lost myself.
Kaspar was all-consuming. I was playing a dangerous game. If I continued down this path and let his lips and hands do their filthy work, if I let him sink his cock between my legs and make me scream, make me sweat, make me come—if I gave him more, and more, and more, he’d keep on taking, keep on pulling me into himself until there was nothing left of me.
And the scary part was, I wanted it.
Kaspar kept me safe and cared for me in a way nobody ever had before. I remembered the beginning of our relationship back at Blackwoods before he killed Alice. We were a good fit. We laughed together, we joked and had fun. There was incredibly chemistry buoyed by good conversation, compatible ideas and upbringings, and a silly, fun, incredible friendship. He was the man I always dreamed of when I closed my eyes at night.
Up until he strangled my roommate.
And saved my life.
I moaned into his kiss. I was lost, lost, lost. Spiraling and dizzy. Blacking out. Dropping down. He pulled me to the couch and pushed me down roughly. I stared at him with parted, tingling lips. My tongue was numb. My heart tried to rip its way free from my chest. He stood above me, towering and brutal, then knelt down with his hands on my thighs, leaning close.
“You know I’ll give you whatever you want, don’t you?” He whispered in my ear and sounded pained. “I’d do anything you asked. If it was within my power to grant, I’d grant it. I’d kill whoever, burn whatever, rip apart the world if it would make you happy.” He kissed me again, longing and pained. “But I won’t murder your sister. Not until you’re sure.”
I grabbed his hair and pulled.
He grunted, teeth clenching.
I tried to hurt him. I succeeded. He didn’t push me away.
He meant what he said. If what I wanted was to cause him pain—he’d let me.
I slacked my grip, but didn’t release.
“I hate that you’re right. That’s the worst part of all this. I want her dead and I don’t want her dead. What I really need is my sister back.”
“I’m afraid you won’t ever get it.”
“No, I don’t think I will, either.” I kissed him and bit his lip. “This life takes so much from us. Why does everyone want it?”
“They don’t know how bitter is tastes from the inside.”
“Do I taste bitter to you?”
“No, love. You taste sweet. You’re the only sweet thing in my life.”
“But everyone else is wrong.”
“Yes, everyone else is wrong.”
I sighed and pressed my forehead against his. “I hate this.”
“I know. There’s no easy answer.”
“If we leave Erin alone, she’ll rip Darren to shreds and start her own family. She’ll be a nightmare.”
“And if we kill her, you’ll have to live with your sister’s blood on your hands. Could you do that?”
He fisted my hair and pulled my head back before I could answer. His lips found my throat and kissed as his free hand tugged my shirt free. I let him undress me and reveled in the way his eyes took in my flesh. He drank me like a man dying of thirst. He was insatiable. I loved him for it.
He kissed my breasts, my chin, my ears. His tongue was a flower between my legs. I moaned and leaned forward, pressing my breasts to his muscular chest, then reached down to unbuckle his belt.
I wanted him. I needed him now.
There was one thing that could take my mind from the wreck of my life.
He grunted as I took his pants off. His cock was already hard. It strained against his boxer briefs, struggling to reach my eager cunt.
I was dripping wet and crazy with want.
When did this become so easy?
Throwing myself into his arms.
Accepting his pleasure.
He pulled my hair again. Harder this time. Painful, insistent. He unhooked my bra and teased my nipples with his teeth and tongue. He bit my collarbone as he shoved my legs wide and unbuttoned my jeans. I lifted my ass while he slid them off, watching as my legs were revealed.
My soaking pussy. My damp panties.
He kissed my inner thigh, moving up until he shoved aside my underwear and began to lick me, lapping me up. Tongue along my slit, rolling among my folds, moving in tight circles along my nubby clit. He sucked me and did his work, slid his fingers inside, fucked me with them.
I was exposed, naked. I was all his. I could see the city unfurl out beyond the windows, the lights in the buildings coming on, as he fucked me with his fingers and kissed my lips. He made me taste myself and I loved it, the filthy bastard.
“You like that I’m a caged beast, don’t you?” His voice was a harsh whisper. “I know you see the way I stare at you.” His fingers pumped faster. Pleasure rocked as he used his thumb to rub against my clit. My breasts shook with each new breath. “You bask in my need. You love that I love you.”
“God, yes, I do,” I moaned, tilting my head back. Distantly, I was aware that he’d admitted it—that word love, ringing like a bell.
“You can’t get enough. And the truth is, I can’t either. I want you to glow for me, love. I want you to get high every time my tongue finds your delicious little cunt. I want you living on the edge, never sure when I’ll take you, but always ready. You’ll exist for me, a beautiful gift, and I’ll unwrap you. I won’t be gentle, but I will always make it feel good.”
He fucked me harder with his fingers and I let out a moaning, gasping cry. Pleasure rocked along my skin, tingling to my fingertips, and I came, my back arching, my eyes rolling, my brain somewhere else as the world went fuzzy. He continued, growling in my ear, but his words no longer made sense—I didn’t need them anymore. I was somewhere else, head in the clouds.
When I finished, he stood. He took off his boxer briefs and took a handful of my hair and guided my slack mouth to his cock.
I took him between my lips and sucked him deep, moaning the whole way down.
I was high from my orgasm as I sucked his cock. He wasn’t kind or gentle. He never was, but somehow his rough touch turned pain to ecstasy. I moaned as he fucked my mouth, then released me and commanded me to suck him faster and harder. I lost myself, moving up and down, tongue rolling his tip, tasting his precum, stroking him with both hands. His eyes were liquid thunder as he pulled me back, kissed me, then hauled me to my feet.
He dragged me to the window, shoved me up against it, my breasts pressed against the glass, and kicked my feet wide.
I was exposed to him and the city at once.
He slid his cock behind me, pressed against my soaked and gaping entrance, as he kissed my neck, my lips, and grabbed my hair in a tight fist.
“Tell me you want me to fill you to the brim,” he whispered. “Tell me you want me to fuck you while you stare at the city we’re going to own together.”
“Fuck me, Kaspar.”
He slid deep inside.
I gasped, back arching. He was heaven, all heaven. The demon disappeared, and he was my conquering angel. He was my prince, my king.
If he fucked me like this, I’d follow him anywhere.
He slid in and out, taking my body. He slapped my ass roughly and pulled my hair. I gasped, moaning, shivering. It was too much and it wasn’t enough. I needed more and needed less. I was stuck vacillating between states, simultaneously in pleasure and pain.
He ripped me to pieces and I loved every inch.<
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His grip tightened. He palmed my breasts, teased them. He rubbed my clit with his fingers as he ripped into my cunt with his cock.
“I want to own you, Penny,” he whispered. “But I want you to give yourself willingly. It’s like every time you come, I get another piece, but I need the full puzzle. I want to see you lying in my bed, your legs spread, your cunt glistening with want, your hair spread out all around, your breasts shaking, your nipples hard, your lips open—I want you splayed out and begging me to come inside of you. Can you do that for me, Penny? I’ll give you whatever you ask, so long as when I take off your clothes, you obey.”
I threw my head back. I was so close again. I teetered on the edge, prepared to leap for him. Only Kaspar could make me feel this way.
“I want to obey,” I moaned. “I want you to have me. I want you to take me and fuck me and destroy me.”
He turned me around and lifted me up, pinning my back against the glass. It was cold, but the shock of his cock plunging into me wiped away the sensation. I kissed him hard, he bit my lip, and he fucked me, pumping into my pussy faster, faster. I gasped, suspended in his arms like I was nothing, and I kept myself pressed against him, my pussy glowing, my body on fire.
I came in his arms, on his thick cock, pussy clenching down. He growled his pleasure and came along with me, filling me to the brim with his seed, and I moaned in his ear, begging him for more. I loved his cock, his taste, his arms and lips and chest. Everything about him made me wet and crazy with want.
We collapsed on the couch. I kept myself pressed against him. He wrapped his arms around my body and held me tight. I was light and dizzy. I was a feather on the wind. He was the rock keeping me anchored to the ground.
Otherwise, I’d float away, and never come back.
“I’m afraid that when this is over, I’ll wake up from a dream,” I whispered, kissing his chest.
“You’re not dreaming.”
“I’m afraid it’s a nightmare. My sister and my family. I’ll be all alone.”
“You’re not alone.” His arms tightened.
He was right. I wasn’t alone.
Killer, psycho, monster.
The man that loved me more than life itself.
How could I deny him?
When I had no reason to hate him anymore?
I sat up and stared into his eyes. I kissed him softly. He didn’t move. Only stared back, liquid and willing.
“You really want to marry me, don’t you?”
He nodded once. “I do.”
“And you’ll do anything to make that happen?”
“I will.”
“What if I told you to give away all your money? Renounce your Oligarch position?”
“I would. No hesitation. Though I’d keep some so that we could escape overseas.” He kissed my neck. “I have a lot of enemies.”
“You do realize the sort of power you’re giving me?”
“I’m aware.”
“I might be drunk with it.”
“Go ahead, drink deep.”
“You trust me that much?”
“I do.”
“I don’t know why.”
“You don’t see yourself clearly.”
I let out a breath. “That’s such a cliché.”
“But in your case, it’s true. You’ve been through so much. You think trauma is normal.” I chewed on my lip and tried to pull way, but he wouldn’t let me. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“I don’t think trauma is normal.”
“But you do. You’ve been steeped in it for so long. Why do you think we do the things we do? Why you think we love to hurt so much?” He pulled my hair as if to prove a point. It tingled. Hot and cold. Pleasure and pain.
“You think you know better then?”
“I think I can try to give you a life without compounding on your past. I want to take you out of the cycle, Penny. Take you away from the Oligarchs.”
“Then you really will renounce your family?”
“No,” he said, kissing my lower lip. “But I’ll keep you safe. You will be my priority. Nobody else.”
“I don’t know what to think.”
“You don’t have to think anything right now. You know how I feel about you. That isn’t going to change.” He kissed me slower, deeper. I felt him stirring again, his cock hardening at my touch. “Right now, we have each other. We can focus on finishing what I started. And then after that, we can worry about your sister and everything else.”
“Or we can focus on this, right here and now.” I pulled away and got to my knees. He looked at me with utter dedication and fervor as I took his cock and began to lick his length. I tasted myself still as he stiffened, then took him into my mouth.
He groaned with bliss. I loved how hard he felt in my lips. My tongue rolled and I expected him to fill my mouth with cum, but instead he pulled me up with a grunt and I rode him, faster and faster, my pussy needy and slick, and we came together in a burst of moans and pleasure, his arms around my skinny back, my ass grinding and working, sweat rolling along my arms. I nuzzled into him, keeping him inside, and kissed his neck.
“Tell me what to do,” I whispered. “And I’ll obey. I promise.”
He held me and said nothing, only breathed, and I was so deep in the moment that there was only him and this room left in my world.
26
Kaspar
Present Day
Chicago
I shot the first guard in the head.
His blood splattered against the wall behind him.
I smelled smoke. Screams echoed from further in the house. I was a painter, and these bodies were my medium.
I ripped them to shreds. My gun was hot in my hand. I was death, stalking through the hallways like an angel.
Penny was my guiding light. Without her to focus on, I would’ve been lost a long time ago. I would’ve given in to my baser instincts. Power and lust and glory would’ve driven me.
Instead, I had revenge and love.
I killed two more guards. The house took up half a block. The entry hall was opulent, built in marble, covered in gold. The priceless statues, paintings, tapestries, and furniture were broken to pieces beneath my boots.
I killed again, and again. My men flooded around me. Redmond strolled past, laughing as he fired on a group of guards huddled near a barricade. We smashed through them, slaughtering as we went.
Once, before I knew Penny, this would’ve been the highlight of my life. I loved violence back then. I lusted after it.
Now, I cared only for Penny. A day of killing paled in comparison to a night of fucking.
She hadn’t given herself to me completely. Not yet at least. But she was getting there. Moving in the right direction.
I shivered at the thought.
I’d make her my wife.
I killed a guard as he leapt out. He tried to surprise me. I shot him in the skull and kicked his body out of my way.
“The place is empty,” Michaels growled as I reached the second floor.
“Looks full to me.” I frowned at all the blood. The stuff drenched the floors. This place would have to be leveled after we were finished. It was a shame. The building did nothing wrong.
“Soldiers, but nobody important.” He scowled, shaking his head. “If she was here, we just missed her.”
I grunted in acknowledgment. “Keep looking. Take a few men alive. I want someone to question.”
“Yes, sir.” He marched off, barking at his men.
Redmond drifted toward me. I stepped into a side room. A bar was on the left and a beautiful billiards table took up most of the space. The walls were covered in antique early Americana: signs, advertising ephemera, jazz concert posters. This room had personality. It was loved.
Redmond scowled at a signed Thelonious Monk photograph and tore it down. “Jazz sounds like noise.”
“That’s because you don’t know how to listen.”
Screams echoed from outside. More gun
shots.
“I heard that.” He didn’t smile. He seemed more reserved and introspective today than I’d ever seen before. He went to the bar, studied the bottles, then selected a whiskey. “Drink?”
“Please.”
He poured two. We toasted. “To a job well done,” he said.
“Cheers.”
I drank and drifted to the table. Redmond stayed near the bar.
“She’s not here,” he said. “My men think she was, though. They found a room with women’s things, nice stuff, with lots of it thrown all around as if someone packed in a hurry.”
“Maeve then.” I sighed and rubbed at my face. “She’s making this more difficult than it needs to be.”
“Can you blame her?”
“Yes. It’s dishonorable.”
Redmond snorted. “Since when did you care about honor?”
“Says the man that killed his father.”
His expression darkened. “Careful. Old Bern seemed warm and fuzzy from the outside, but you don’t know what I went through with him.”
I waved that away. I’d heard the rumors. I’d seen the scars. I still didn’t care.
“We need to discuss Erin Servant.”
“What about her?”
“She’s been helping me with Penny and running interference with her brother. She’s the reason Darren and Roman haven’t gotten involved yet.”
“I suppose there’s a reward involved.”
I nodded, meeting his eyes. “She wants to start her own family.”
He looked surprised then whistled and laughed. “That’s impressive. Ballsy and impressive.”
“Don’t underestimate her.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ve met the girl. She’s terrifying.” He said it with a smirk, like he wasn’t quite intimidated.
“I don’t want to give it to her.”
He went quiet and took a long sip. He stared into his glass and seemed to consider. The Redmond I knew was loud and impulsive and quick to smile.
This seemed like a different man. He was wrapped tightly around himself, and I wondered if taking control of the Orchard house was more difficult than he thought it would be.
Normally, the power in an Oligarch family passed to the oldest child. Gender didn’t matter. The oldest were always trained as if they’d take control one day. The second oldest was given some attention, in case the oldest died, but beyond that, Oligarch children were more or less ignored. Given whatever they wanted, pampered and allowed to live a comfortable existence, but restrained.