by Sara Naveed
‘At least I can try. Next week we are having a fundraiser, a sort of charity event at the university. I want you to participate.’
‘I will,’ she promised.
‘Take these books with you and read them,’ he said, giving her the books he bought at the exhibition.
Later that night, as he sat at his desk, a lit cigarette dangling between his lips, his mind went back to Zarish. He remembered how she looked: her dress, how her hair hung over her shoulder, the make-up and jewellery she wore. He could not stop thinking about her soft smile, her glossy lips and her bright expressive eyes. Ahmar remembered how her cheeks flushed every time she caught him staring at her. The laptop flickered to life, diverting his attention.
His inbox was flooded with unread messages, but only the ones from Zarish caught his attention.
Hello, Sir Ahmar.
Hey wait, wasn’t I supposed to call you
just Ahmar? Right? ☺
He smiled after reading this and then scrolled down to the next paragraph.
I just wanted to let you know that I will donate money for the poor children at your orphanage. I’ve also convinced my friends to pool in funds. I will be waiting for your response.
Yours forever,
Zarish
For a few seconds, he stared at the laptop screen, unsure what to reply.
Thanks. I appreciate your efforts and we will discuss this topic more when we meet after the semester break. But before that I need to ask you something.
Zarish was lying on her bed when the message popped up on her laptop screen. She wrote back nervously:
Yes. Sure. What is it?
He was ready with his reply as Zarish received a message within seconds.
Why did you email me when you have my number? You could have texted me.
She gasped at his reply. Ahmar certainly wanted her to message him on his cell phone. He wanted a personal bond to develop between them. Her eyes scanned the message and then she hit the reply button. There was a mischievous grin on her face.
Texting seems somewhat personal. I did not want to do that before asking you.
He raised his brow as he read her message and then typed the answer:
It’s all right. I won’t mind if you text me, Miss Zarish.
Zarish could imagine the playful expression on his face. She could not stop smiling. Their conversation continued in the same fashion and they responded to each other’s messages unceasingly.
Zarish: All right. Now can I ask you something?
Ahmar: Sure. Go ahead.
Zarish: Where did you get my number from?
Ahmar: Now that is something very personal. ☺
After their semester break ended, the university organized a fundraiser. With Saleha’s support, Zarish was able to convince Sherry, Maha, Danish and the others to donate money for the event. She was happy because she was going to do something good for the first time in her life, and also because she was helping Ahmar.
Surprisingly, all of her friends, including Haroon, helped raise money. Ahmar was thankful to all his students, especially Zarish.
After the event, Haroon offered to drop Zarish home, but as usual she made an excuse. She hurried to meet Ahmar but to her surprise, he had already left. This made Zarish a little upset. He did not even give her any feedback regarding the event.
She doubted her own efforts. She didn’t know if her help was welcomed or not. Did he appreciate it at all? With such thoughts clouding her mind, she walked to the parking lot. She felt even more upset when she did not find Haroon there. Feeling disappointed and completely dejected, she called her driver and asked him to pick her up.
‘Ahmar could have informed me before leaving,’ she thought bitterly. She took out her phone and sent him a text message.
Good evening, Sir!
You left abruptly from the event, and I did not get a chance to talk to you. I hope everything is okay.
Yours, Zarish
Zarish was worried as Ahmar had not replied to her message the previous night. As Zarish crossed the university gate, she saw Saleha and Sherry. Zarish walked towards them.
‘Hey,’ Zarish said, giving Saleha a light hug.
‘How are you doing, Zarish?’ Sherry asked.
‘I’m good. How about you?’ she asked.
‘Where is Haroon? I haven’t seen him yet,’ Saleha interrupted their conversation.
‘He might have gone in already,’ Zarish answered.
‘Let’s head to the class. It’s time, girls,’ Sherry said.
‘Yeah, Sir Ahmar will be waiting for all of us,’ Zarish said eagerly.
‘He won’t be taking our class today,’ Saleha interjected.
‘What do you mean?’ Zarish asked.
‘She’s right,’ Sherry added. ‘We just found out that some other professor will be taking the finance class today.’
‘It is just for today, right?’ Zarish asked.
‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged.
Zarish knew there was something wrong. He still hadn’t responded to any of her messages.
‘Where is he?’ she wondered.
She decided to wait for another day. But the next day went by without any messages from Ahmar. He didn’t even come to the university.
She dialled his number a zillion times, but he didn’t answer. She refreshed her inbox to make sure the emails had not gone into the junk folder. She regretted not having Muraad’s cell number.
She lay on her bed again, feeling hopeless and shattered.
‘Why is he doing this to me? Is he angry with me? No, I don’t think so. But why is he not taking his classes if he has issues with me? No . . . this can’t be . . . I am not able to think clearly. Oh my . . . my head is spinning,’ she thought with her eyes closed.
When she opened her eyes, she was on a pathway that passed through a forest and led to a meadow. She pushed away bushes that came in her way. The open meadow drew closer. It looked clear and beautiful from a distance. She soaked in the beauty of the scene in front of her with her eyes closed. As she walked ahead, she could see a man up ahead—wearing a black suit, his back towards her and his hair glossy from the sun. She was now only ten feet away from him. The man was not yet aware of her presence. When she reached out to touch him, he had already moved an inch from his position, but he still had his back towards her.
Zarish raised her hand and reached out to touch his hand. But, before she could touch it, he turned around to face her. When she saw that it was Ahmar, she smiled gently in relief. But, he did not return the smile. Instead, he stood there with agony writ large on his face, his brooding eyes poring back into the depths of hers. His pain worried Zarish. She caressed his cheek with her hand and stroked it gently to find that his skin was on fire.
‘What’s wrong?’ she whispered.
He let her cup his cheek in her palm and shut his eyes. She could feel the heat of his skin against hers.
‘What are you doing here? What place is this?’ she asked, continuing to stroke his cheek but it elicited no response from him.
His eyes remained closed. She wondered if he was relishing her touch or the serenity of the moment.
‘Ahmar?’ she whispered.
He wrapped her in his arms, holding her tight against his body. She was dumbstruck at first but put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. She wanted to decode his emotions but could not understand whether it was love, hurt, affection or lust that he felt for her at that moment. She tried to enjoy the warmth of his arms.
Ahmar brushed his fingers through her hair and then pulled her away from his chest. Gently, he touched her chin and lifted her face to bring it closer to his. Their noses almost touched, his eyes burning with sensual desire. She tried to read his gaze but failed. She wanted to hug him once again. She needed something more.
‘Zarish,’ he said, huskily.
‘Yes?’ she replied.
All of a sudden, he seemed to be weightless. The blood drained out of his fa
ce, leaving it pale. He wriggled out of her grasp and moved back a step. She stared at him in shock.
‘Ahmar?’ She tried to shriek out his name but her voice could not find the words.
He had transformed into a lifeless and emaciated form.
She took a step towards him to hold him again but as soon as she did so, he fell silently to the ground. She stood numb and speechless and could not help him up. He seemed to be dead. She couldn’t believe it at first but soon grief overcame the shock. She crumpled on to the ground and sobbed uncontrollably.
‘No!’ she woke up screaming. Wiping the sweat off her face with the sleeve of her nightshirt, she sat up on the bed. Her screams had woken up her brother, who stood at the door, peering in.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked.
‘Yes. It was just a stupid nightmare,’ she mumbled, rubbing her head.
‘Never mind. There is still time before daybreak. Get more sleep,’ he said.
‘What’s the time?’ she asked.
‘It’s 4 a.m.,’ he replied, shutting the door behind him.
She thought about the awful dream. She had an uncomfortable sense of foreboding that it was a sign for something unpleasant. Did dreams turn into reality? She closed her eyes, her mind disturbed with such thoughts.
The next day, she went to meet Muraad in his office since he was the only person who could help her.
‘May I come in, Sir?’ she asked to which he nodded amiably.
Zarish sat quietly in his office for a few minutes since he was busy attending some important calls. Suddenly a tall bookshelf kept in the corner caught her attention, and she recalled their day together at the book fair.
‘Everything seemed so perfect that day. He was so happy,’ she recalled.
‘So, what’s new, young lady?’ Muraad asked after finishing his call.
‘Why have you changed our finance teacher?’ she asked, coming to the point.
‘Who told you so?’ Muraad asked, smiling.
‘Some other teacher took our finance class yesterday,’ she told him.
‘And you presumed that we have swapped your finance teacher?’ he asked with a grin.
She looked at him confusedly.
‘So . . . where is he then?’ she asked.
‘He is fine. Don’t worry,’ he said, sensing the concern in her tone.
‘This was not my question, Sir. I want to know where he is.’
‘Ahmar was right about his students, you all are very stubborn.’
‘What? Did he say that about all of us or particularly me?’ she thought.
‘I want my answer, Sir. Please,’ she said.
‘Hmm.’ He leaned in his chair. ‘Since you’re acting really stubborn right now, I will have to tell you everything, even though he told me not to.’
‘What is it?’ she asked, tensing up.
‘He met with an accident on the day of the fundraiser.’
‘A-acci-dent?’ she stammered.
‘Damn, damn, damn . . . I knew something was wrong,’ she told herself.
‘He just has an arm injury. That’s it. His other medical reports are fine. The doctor has told him to rest for a couple of days. That’s why he is not taking classes.’
‘I need to see him. I need to see him,’ she kept murmuring.
‘Zarish?’ he called out, but she hurried towards the door. Muraad looked at her in bewilderment.
‘So my dream was an indication of his current state of health. I should have known,’ she thought as she drove at breakneck speed to his house.
On reaching his house, she found the main door open. Without knocking, she pushed it and entered. Her eyes searched for him everywhere.
‘Ahmar!’ she called out his name. She tried hard not to cry but in vain.
‘Zarish?’
She turned around on hearing her name.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked in a concerned tone.
Without giving a reply, she ran into his arms and broke down into tears.
‘Zarish?’ he whispered, amazed by her action. She ignored him and hugged him tightly. This was the first time she had hugged him for real. The feeling was ecstatic. At first, he hesitated, but then the urge to hold her became too strong and he hugged her back. She had never thought such a moment would come in her life. She clutched his shirt, and felt every inch of his body. She felt his broad chest and rib muscles that moved every time he took a breath. He too found himself drowning in the intimacy they shared. His citrus and wood cologne filled her nostrils and she savoured it. Zarish closed her eyes and so did he. Perhaps this was the time to express her feelings for him. She knew she loved him and she was sure he felt the same. She clung to him, putting pressure on his fractured arm.
‘Ah,’ he moaned.
She stepped back, realizing he was in pain.
‘I’m s-s-sorry,’ she stammered.
‘It’s okay.’ He cringed a little, feeling embarrassed.
Tears poured down her cheeks. Ahmar winced when he felt the wetness on his shirt. He pulled her back tenderly, coming back to his senses, and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
‘Zarish,’ he murmured. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.
‘Why didn’t you tell me about your accident?’ she asked.
‘Because it wasn’t important.’ He shrugged.
‘How can you say that?’
He knew she was annoyed with him. Really annoyed. He remained quiet and did not give any further explanations. He wanted to relieve her of the pain he had caused.
‘Do you even know what I went through these last few days? Do you even care?’
He folded his arms and looked at her guiltily.
‘I would have never come to know. It’s thanks to your dad who thought it was important to tell me.’
‘Damn . . . why Dad?’ he thought.
‘Don’t you dare blame him now! He did the right thing. I knew something was not right. I had this terrible dream about you. I knew you were in trouble . . .’ her voice trailed off.
‘As long as I am standing alive in front of you, there is nothing to be worried about. C’mon yaar,’ he said casually.
‘Yaar . . . woah. Where did this come from?’ she wondered but ignored it.
‘What now?’ He shrugged.
‘Do you think this is funny?’
‘No. Not at all,’ he said, hiding his smile.
‘Ahmar, you are seriously impossible!’ she raised her hands in surrender. ‘I was upset for the past two days. But you weren’t even bothered.’
He looked away, smirking.
‘You did not even bother to inform me. I have every reason to hate you right now. Do you understand?’ she said, pointing a finger at him.
‘Do you really hate me, Miss Zarish?’ he said and held her finger, stepping closer.
‘Do you?’ he asked again.
‘Yes,’ she said, pretending to be confident.
Ahmar did not let her go; he wanted her to stay for dinner. He knew his father would come home quite late as he was supposed to attend a seminar that evening. There was nobody in his house except them. He did not let her enter the kitchen because he wanted to prepare dinner all by himself.
‘This is so not fair,’ she said, standing near the door. ‘You’re hurt. I can’t let you cook all by yourself.’
‘My right arm is fine,’ he said as he gathered the ingredients for the meal. He did not even tell her what he was making.
‘Do you cook often?’ she asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.
‘Not really. Just on weekends.’
‘Then who cooks the rest of the meals?’
‘We’ve a cook but he’s on leave. He will be back soon.’
‘Okay . . . what am I supposed to do? I am bored,’ she asked, raising her arms.
‘Maybe you can go check out the house.’
‘Are you sure, Ahmar?’
‘Yes,’ he said, flashing her favourite smile.
She left the kitc
hen and wandered through the corridor. She walked around the house aimlessly. Suddenly, a dimly lit room caught her attention. The door was slightly open and she stepped in. It was Ahmar’s study, covered entirely with bookshelves. There was a small wooden study table in the corner of the room; a MacBook and a few books were arranged neatly on it. Zarish touched the edge of the table, thinking about all the nights Ahmar had spent at it, chatting with her. A pair of spectacles caught her attention. She placed them back and diverted her attention towards the books.
In the kitchen Ahmar was giving the final touches to the Mexican dishes, tacos and burritos, he had prepared for dinner. He smiled as he thought about Zarish. How upset she got after hearing about his accident; how she ran into his arms after seeing him in the living room. She was special and held a strong place not only in his heart but also in his life. He realized it late, but eventually he did and that mattered the most.
They sat in the dining room, which was illuminated with candles. A soft glow enveloped the room, making it warm and cosy.
‘Here are the tacos,’ he said, putting the food on her plate.
‘I’ll take it myself, it’s okay,’ she said, trying to take the serving spoon from his hand.
Their fingers touched and eyes met. The intimacy made her blush. Suddenly a sound from the hall interrupted their moment. Ahmar and Zarish turned to see Muraad standing near the entrance.
‘Dad, you’re here,’ he said, standing up.
‘Hello, Sir,’ she said, feeling embarrassed.
‘I knew you would be here,’ Muraad said pointing at Zarish. She nodded sheepishly.
‘I told her about your accident. How are you now?’ he asked his son.
‘I’m fine now. Weren’t you supposed to attend a seminar today?’
‘I skipped it,’ he said and chuckled.
Zarish smiled too.
‘Are you happy to see him? He’s not going anywhere, so stop worrying.’
‘Yes, Sir,’ she said.
‘Did she think I was going to leave the university?’ Ahmar interjected, looking at her in amazement.
‘Yes, and she was very upset about it,’ Muraad replied.