by Sara Naveed
Saleha could see the eagerness in his eyes; the eagerness to see Zarish.
‘Zarish was right. He does fancy her,’ Saleha wondered.
‘Zarish?’ Maha asked.
He nodded.
‘She is here. I think I saw her near the library,’ Maha said.
‘All right. See you in class. Have a good day.’
‘First, I need to apologize to her. Make her understand that what I said yesterday meant nothing. And then tell her what I actually feel for her,’ he told himself as he walked purposefully towards the library.
His eyes scanned the entire area and at last he found her sitting alone in the corner. She seemed busy reading a book. But when he looked closely, he realized that she was lost in thought; her eyes distant. Ahmar stood near her table and watched her silently.
After a few seconds, Zarish felt someone’s eyes on her and turned around. She was shocked to see Ahmar.
‘Hello. Good morning,’ he greeted her in a husky voice and then cleared his throat.
She did not answer. In fact, she pretended to read, ignoring him altogether. Ahmar raised his brow and smiled as he had expected a cold response. He did not feel bad at all.
‘What, no reaction?’ he asked, teasing her.
She remained quiet.
‘I know you are hurt, and you have every right to treat me in the same manner. You can abuse me, shout at me or even hit me, do whatever you like but please say something. I can’t stand your silence, Zarish. I can’t,’ he said.
She did not look at him; her eyes fixed on the book in her hands. ‘Zarish?’ he repeated her name. ‘Won’t you say anything?’
She stood up and turned around to face him.
‘We have a class with you today. Let’s not be late,’ she said coldly and walked away.
He stood there astounded, the bouquet still in his hands.
During the lecture, Zarish did not look at him even once. Ahmar tried hard to attract her attention but his attempts were futile.
‘Are you okay?’ Saleha asked after observing her glum expression.
‘I’m fine,’ she reassured her.
Ahmar caught them talking and tried to listen to their conversation.
‘Did you talk to him?’ Saleha asked.
‘I have the house to myself tomorrow night. Mom and Dad are going to Karachi to visit my aunt,’ Zarish said, ignoring her question.
‘Oh, is Zahaan going too?’
‘No. He will probably go out with his friends. I’ll be home with the maids.’
‘Oh,’ Saleha responded.
‘You can come over if you want. We can have a slumber party together,’ Zarish said, smiling weakly.
‘Great. I’ll let you know.’
Before Zarish could say anything more, Ahmar’s voice interrupted their conversation.
‘Miss Zarish and Miss Saleha,’ he announced.
Both of them suddenly looked at him.
‘Is your conversation more important than my lecture?’ he asked.
Zarish did not say anything. She waited for Saleha to respond.
‘Err. Not really, Sir,’ Saleha said sheepishly.
‘Really?’ he asked, folding his arms. ‘So, what were you two discussing? Please share it with us too.’
Zarish gave him a stern look but he ignored her.
‘Miss Saleha and Miss Zarish, please leave the class. I can’t tolerate this kind of indiscipline.’
‘Sir Ahmar is right. We are creating a nuisance here. Let’s go out,’ Zarish said in a mocking tone, glaring at him resentfully.
She took Saleha’s hand and swiftly pulled her out. The classroom buzzed with murmurs. This irritated Ahmar even more.
Saleha broke free of her grasp as soon as they came out in the corridor.
‘What the hell are you doing, Zarish?’ she snapped. ‘What is wrong with you?’
Zarish tried to control her anger as she clenched her fists.
‘Tell me? Did you talk to Sir Ahmar? What did he say?’
‘I’ll tell you later. I’m going home. See you tomorrow.’
Saleha went back to the class gingerly.
‘Where is Zarish?’ Ahmar asked her in a cold voice.
‘Sir . . . she . . . left,’ she replied.
‘Where did she go?’
‘You may find her in the parking lot,’ Saleha answered.
Without giving a response, he rushed towards the parking lot.
Ahmar looked around frantically. After a few moments, he saw her standing near her car.
As he came close, he realized she was crying.
‘Zarish?’ he stood near her.
She wiped her tears quickly and opened the door of the car, pretending to get in. He held her arm and did not let her go.
‘Talk to me,’ he said. She did not respond. ‘Please stop hurting yourself. Trust me, I am hurting too.’
She turned around to face him.
‘Sir Ahmar, I don’t want to talk to you. Please, let me go,’ she said in a firm voice.
‘Apart from your personal life, you are also letting your studies get affected. Do you understand that?’ he said.
She tried to free herself from his hold.
‘Please, Zarish. Try to understand.’
She jerked his grip off her arm, got into her car and drove off, leaving him standing alone.
It was clear that Zarish was not interested in talking to him. But he was not ready to give up. Ahmar had overheard her and Saleha’s conversation in the classroom, and he knew her parents were out of town. He decided to go to her house to ask for forgiveness.
The next day, Zarish deliberately did not go to the university and decided to miss all of the lectures. The day passed slowly for Ahmar at the university. He noticed Zarish’s absence in the class and felt it too. He had to talk to her. Before leaving for her place, he called her and even sent her a few text messages, but there was no response. Fortunately, he knew her address as he had dropped her home a few times.
The weather suddenly changed and it started raining as he made his way to her place. He parked his car outside her house and sat there in silence for a while. The only sound around him was that of raindrops splattering against the windshield. He rubbed his hands together to warm them up and then ran his fingers through his hair. He fished out his cell phone from his pocket and dialled her number.
Zarish, unaware of his presence, lay on her bed. She had avoided his calls all day. Her cell phone started to buzz again. She knew it was him and ignored it. He called her again; he was not going to give up so easily. She got irritated when her phone buzzed again. She decided to pick it up and tell him never to call her again.
‘Hello, Zarish?’ he said.
She did not say anything.
‘I know you’re listening. Please say something.’
‘Why are you constantly calling me?’ she asked.
‘I . . . I need to talk to you,’ he replied, pressing his lips together.
‘As I said earlier, I do not want to talk to you about anything. My answer will not change, no matter how many times you call me,’ she said curtly.
‘Even if I tell you that I am in a lot of pain?’ he asked in a low, husky voice.
Her heart melted; it was hard to resist his deep, throaty voice. She wanted to forget everything she’d said to him earlier and talk to him nicely.
‘No,’ she said instead.
‘Zarish, I cannot let go of this matter so easily. I need to explain . . .’
‘You don’t have to explain anything, Sir Ahmar,’ she said, cutting him mid-sentence. ‘I should be the one explaining because you are my teacher and I am your student. This is how it is supposed to be. I already got your answer that evening,’ she said.
‘How can you just presume my answer when I have not even said anything yet?’
Zarish did not put much thought into what he said nor was she interested to know.
‘Ahmar, please. Stop worrying about me because I am fine. All right? Just let
it go,’ she said.
‘Okay. Just come and talk to me once,’ he said eagerly.
‘What? How can a sane man like you talk such nonsense? How can I come to your house right now?’ she asked, looking at her watch. It was 10.30 p.m.
‘I’m right outside your house.’
‘What?’ she gasped and then ran to her window to see if his car was parked outside.
It was raining heavily now. She slid open the window to get a better view. Ahmar was right. She could see him sitting in his car, which was parked right outside the main gate. He was still holding the cell phone, his head cocked to one side.
‘Why are you here? I told you I don’t want talk to you,’ she said, looking into his eyes.
‘I am waiting for you, Zarish,’ he said.
‘My parents are not at home, and I do not want to take this risk. My brother will be home any minute.’
‘I know that. I wouldn’t have come here otherwise. Just come here for five minutes,’ he requested her.
She was shocked to hear this.
‘How did he know that my parents and brother were not at home?’ she wondered.
‘Whatever. I’m not coming. No means no,’ she said brusquely.
‘Is this your final answer?’
‘Yes,’ she hissed.
He sighed heavily and said, ‘Fine. I will wait for you and stand here till it stops raining.’
‘What?’ she asked, startled. ‘I didn’t know you were this stupid.’
‘You think you are stubborn? I will show you what it actually means to be stubborn. So just wait and watch.’
‘Ahmar please! You are not in a movie,’ she told him.
‘This is indeed a movie. My life’s story.’
‘You are insane,’ she hissed.
‘Yes, I am,’ he said and hung up, his eyes still on her.
‘Huh? Damn it!’ she said as she shut the window. She sat on her bed feeling disgusted. She constantly looked at her cell phone to see if he was calling again. But nothing happened. She did not have the courage to open the window again and see what he was doing out there.
‘What if he is actually standing in the rain? Damn. He might catch a cold and fall sick,’ she shuddered at the thought.
After a few minutes, Zarish got up from her bed and walked to the window. She moved the curtain and peered outside, her breath fogging the glass. To her surprise, she saw Ahmar standing in the rain, right next to his car. The indicators of his car were still on and the headlights blinked continuously. She could see that he had tightly hugged himself as his entire body shivered; he was completely soaked.
‘Ahmar!’ she screamed.
He looked up at her, but didn’t say anything.
‘Get inside the car! Now!’ she ordered.
He remained adamant and paid no heed to her order. He simply shook his head.
‘I hate you,’ she said, clenching her teeth.
Fearing that he would get pneumonia, she took out her red umbrella from the closet and rushed down the stairs. One of the maids was busy in the kitchen while the other was in the servants’ quarters. Taking advantage of their absence, she quickly opened the front door and ran out.
The rain was lashing down ferociously. She looked around for the guard but he was not there on his seat. Ahmar was still standing near his car when she came out of her house. He smiled weakly when he saw her heading towards him.
‘What the hell is this, Ahmar? Why are you behaving like a child? Cover yourself or you’ll get sick!’ she said, opening her umbrella.
Ignoring her remark, he glanced at her umbrella that only sheltered her from the rain. She followed his gaze but did not extend it in his direction, as she was already very irritated.
‘I am saying something!’ she yelled, to which he smiled.
She was tired of repeating the same thing again and again and did not want to argue any more.
‘Why are you doing this to me?’ she said in a defeated, weak voice.
‘Can you please bring the umbrella a little closer? I am shivering to death,’ he said innocently.
‘No. If you don’t listen to me, then I won’t either.’
‘Do you want me to get sick?’ he asked innocently.
‘Yes! What’s the point of behaving so immaturely?’
‘I want to talk to you once,’ he said feebly, hugging himself tighter.
‘Okay, fine! I am standing right here in front of you! Speak up before I . . .’
‘I’m in love with you, Miss Zarish Munawwar,’ he interrupted her.
For a second, her world turned upside down. She could not feel the ground beneath her feet. She could not feel her legs. They were numb. In fact, her entire body was numb. Her arms prickled with goosebumps, and she skipped a heartbeat.
‘You . . . what?’ she mumbled.
‘I am sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I love you and I mean it.’
His words made her euphoric. She could not believe her ears and stared at him with a dumbfounded look on her face. This was certainly a dream. Everything seemed surreal to her. This could not be really happening.
How could he fall in love with her? Was he joking with her or playing with her feelings? The entire scene seemed right out of a fairy tale.
‘I know this is not the right time to ask something like this but could you please share your umbrella with me?’ he said, still shivering.
Zarish’s silence spoke a thousand words. Ahmar knew how sensitive she was. She could never stay angry for long. He knew her heart would melt. He was right.
‘I will get sick, yaar,’ he said, shivering.
Without arguing further, she put the red umbrella over his head. He stepped forward to stand under it. They stood close together; their eyes locked. Suddenly, time stopped. The rain, the darkness, the night, nothing mattered to them any more. They were just two souls looking into each other’s eyes with profound love.
Later, they sat in silence in his car. He had turned off the headlights and they were enveloped in darkness. There was no sound except the pitter-patter of the rain. Zarish was speechless after Ahmar professed his love. She had never thought this moment would come in her life. It was unexpected. He looked at her fixedly and noticed how she fidgeted with her fingers nervously. He wanted to hold her hand.
‘You have not said anything since I . . . uh . . . professed my love,’ he said, looking at her.
She timidly glanced sidelong at him.
‘You’ll get a cold. I’ll get you some clothes from inside,’ she said, interrupting the intimate moment. She was about to leave when he held her hand.
‘No . . . please. Just stay. I like being here with you,’ he said.
Her hand was warmer than his and he found it comforting. He squeezed it affectionately. This made her blush and she lowered her gaze.
‘Ahmar . . .’
‘Yes?’ he asked, caressing her hand.
‘Is this for real or are you just . . . playing with my feelings?’
‘Do you really think I would play with your feelings, and mine?’
She shook her head and looked at his hand that held hers firmly.
‘You know, I mostly listen to my mind. There have been very few instances when I have followed my heart,’ he said.
She lifted her head to look at him.
‘I tried to stay away from you and keep my feelings hidden, but I guess some things are not in your control. The more I resisted, the more attached I got. That is why they say, love is not bound to anything, whether it is your thinking or a custom. It is free,’ he said, adding, ‘I fell in love with you the night I accidentally cut my finger. Do you remember?’
She nodded, amused at the memory.
‘And then I fell head over heels when I saw you at the masquerade ball.’
So Zarish’s assumptions were correct that night. Both of them glanced at each. She squeezed his hand gently.
His hand was getting warmer.
‘Why didn’t you say anything then?’
she asked. She had regained her confidence and was not shy to ask questions.
‘Fear,’ he replied.
‘Of what?’
‘I was scared of what people might think. Fear of putting our lives at risk. Fear of ruining our reputation. Fear of beginning a new relationship with you when everybody knows I am your teacher. Fear of . . . losing you and never having you again in my life.’
‘I love you, Ahmar, and I would never leave you. Ever.’
‘Don’t make any promises. You don’t know if you will be able to keep them. The circumstances might change.’
‘My love is not dependent on the circumstances. I love you, Ahmar, and I will love you till the end of time,’ she said.
Ahmar wanted to believe everything she said as he had found happiness after a long time.
‘Let’s not make any promises. Let’s live in this moment. Now will you please let me look into your eyes?’ he said, leaning a bit closer.
‘Ahmar,’ she said.
‘Hmm?’ He put his elbow on the steering wheel, rested his head on it and gazed at her. They were still holding hands.
‘Stop looking at me like that,’ she said, pretending to be irritated, but in reality, she loved every bit of it.
He smiled, knowing how she actually felt.
‘Why are you smiling?’ she asked.
‘I’d never imagined I would fall in love with you.’
She blushed.
‘It feels so . . . different and good.’
‘Everything is destiny,’ she said.
He looked at her deeply.
‘I am sitting right next to you. We’re close. We’re together. Don’t you think it’s destiny?’ she asked.
‘Yes. Maybe.’
She smiled.
‘Hey, your brother will be home any minute. You’d better leave now,’ he said, looking at his watch.
‘Oh,’ she muttered, ‘I forgot about him completely.’
‘You shouldn’t,’ he said and chuckled.
‘By the way, how did you know my parents were out of town?’
‘Let it remain a mystery.’
‘Tell me. Please.’
‘Well, I sort of . . . eavesdropped when you were discussing it with Saleha in class,’ he said awkwardly.
‘What? Really?’
He nodded.
‘I cannot believe you, Ahmar. I thought you were not like me,’ she taunted him.