by Sara Naveed
She gained consciousness, but was advised complete rest by the doctor. Everything seemed like a vague dream to her. She could not believe that her father had played such a dirty game with her. Just then her phone beeped.
‘Hello?’ she answered.
‘Zarish?’ Muraad said.
‘Sir Muraad . . . how are you?’ she asked, sitting up.
‘Zarish . . . I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour but it’s urgent.’
‘What . . . what happened, Sir?’ Zarish asked.
‘Ahmar is in the hospital, and I believe Mr Zia Munawwar is responsible for his current state.’
‘What?’ Zarish cried.
‘Your father has also asked the dean to sack Ahmar and cancel his posting to Canada.’
Tears filled her eyes. She leaned back and covered her face with her hand.
‘Zarish, will you do me a favour?’
Zarish remained quiet. She was still in shock.
‘Zarish . . . I’ve nothing left except my son. I don’t want to lose him. I can’t live without him. Only you can save his life. Just walk out of his life and marry the person your father has selected for you. Please. This is my first and last request to you.’
Zarish was speechless, numb and heartbroken. The thought of Ahmar lying lifeless on a hospital bed scared the hell out of her. She hung up the phone and, without wasting any time, ran downstairs. Her parents were sitting at the dining table, involved in a deep conversation. They looked up when they saw Zarish.
‘How could you do this to me, Dad? I trusted you more than anyone else!’ she screamed.
Zarina lowered her gaze but Zia looked straight at his daughter.
‘You know how much I love him! You know what he means to me!’ she cried. ‘He means the world to me, Dad! I cannot live without him! You knew that! Still you brutally beat him up and asked the dean to throw him out of the university.’
‘Yes. If you still don’t agree to marry Haroon, I will ruin his career!’ he said.
‘Dad? Please! No . . .’ she pleaded.
‘I trusted you, Zarish. I thought you would never do anything that would hurt your parents. But you broke our trust. All of a sudden, that professor means the world to you. What about us? What about your parents who brought you up and looked after you all your life?’
She looked away with tears streaming down her cheeks.
‘Do we mean nothing to you?’ he asked.
She looked at him tearfully.
‘Dad?’ she walked up to him and held his hands.
‘Do we mean nothing to you, Zarish?’ he asked again, his eyes moist.
She had never seen her father cry before. He was a man of dignity, power and honour. How could a person like him cry in front of his daughter?
‘Stop it, Dad! Please stop it!’ Zarish said, gathering her wits.
‘Zia Sahib . . . please,’ Zarina said, wiped his tears.
‘Dad . . . please don’t cry. I cannot see you or Mom in pain. I would rather die than see you both like this,’ she said.
‘Zarru . . .’ Zarina said.
‘Mom, please,’ Zarish said, ‘I’m sorry for hurting you and Dad. I promise I will do as you say.’
‘Marry Haroon,’ Zia said abruptly.
She glanced at him, surprised.
‘Yes, marry Haroon,’ he said.
Without uttering another word, Zia walked to his room. Zarina followed her husband, leaving her daughter behind. Zarish fell on the floor; her father’s words had numbed her senses. She was on the verge of losing her love, her world, her life. She was about to do the most selfless thing ever. She was going to sacrifice herself to save the one she loved. She sat on the floor with a blank expression on her face. There were no more tears.
She got up and walked to her parents’ bedroom.
‘I will marry Haroon,’ she announced, leaning against the door. ‘But on one condition.’
Zia and Zarina exchanged a quick, nervous glance.
‘Promise me you won’t get Ahmar fired from the university or put his life in danger. Promise me, Dad, please,’ she said sternly. ‘I will never speak to him again, but please don’t ruin his life.’
‘I promise,’ Zia said.
She went back to her room absent-mindedly and stood near the window, staring out blankly. She picked up her cell phone lying on the floor and dialled a number.
‘Hello, Zarish? You okay?’ Haroon asked.
‘Haroon. I am ready to marry you,’ she said with a heavy heart. Haroon did not ask any more questions. He felt a twinge of guilt. He didn’t know how he would face Zarish after what he had done to Ahmar.
After a week in the hospital, Ahmar felt better. Amber, Maleeha, Jamal and Muraad were with him throughout. But Ahmar remained restless. He missed Zarish. He missed her face, voice and everything about her.
He tried to contact her but the doctors didn’t let him use his cell phone. He tried to ask his father but he gave him vague answers.
He was eager to go back to the university; back to his world; back to Zarish. Muraad wanted him to rest for a few more days but Ahmar didn’t agree.
It was a difficult day for Zarish, as she had to meet Ahmar and tell him that she was marrying Haroon. She texted Saleha as soon as she reached the university cafeteria. Since Saleha was still on her way, she sat there alone and rehearsed the words that she had to say to Ahmar; the words that would shatter their world.
‘How will he react? Will he understand if I tell him the truth?’ she thought.
Someone tapped her on her shoulder, breaking her reverie.
‘Hey,’ Saleha said, ‘all okay?’
Zarish nodded with a half-hearted smile.
‘Saleha . . . I have decided to marry Haroon,’ she suddenly said.
Saleha’s jaw dropped. She opened her mouth to speak but the words froze in her throat.
‘Please don’t give me that look. But yes, this is what I’ve decided for myself,’ she said casually.
Obviously, Saleha had a million questions. Zarish answered every single one but did not tell her the exact story. She did not tell her how her father had forced her to marry Haroon. She did not tell her what Muraad had asked her to do.
Saleha understood her reasons and was completely satisfied by her answers. It was difficult to go against your parents’ wishes. Zarish had done the right thing.
After his lecture, Ahmar stood near the lectern. He ran his fingers through his hair and rested his head on the desk.
Just then, his cell phone vibrated. It was a message from Zarish.
Need to talk. Urgent. I am waiting for you in the parking lot.
He quickly packed his bag and rushed out. As he walked towards her, she noticed he had a slight limp. Zarish felt a pang of guilt because she knew she was the reason for his condition.
‘Hey,’ he murmured, folding his arms. ‘It’s pretty cold, yeah?’ he tried to initiate a normal conversation.
She did not respond and kept her gaze lowered.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked.
She looked up. He looked into her eyes and noticed the puffiness around them. It seemed she had been crying.
‘Hey.’ He reached for her arm, but she pushed him away. ‘Is everything all right?’ he asked in a concerned tone, ‘did you talk to your parents again?’
She did not reply. She did not know where to begin. She did not want to hurt him, but she was left with no other option. She had to break his heart.
‘I know what you’re worried about. Your dad insulted me at your place the other day, but don’t worry, Zarish,’ he said, adding, ‘I have not lost hope. Your father is wrong if he thinks he can scare me by threatening and beating me. I won’t give up so easily. I have sorted out everything. I’ll come to your place again and try and reason with him. I’m sure your parents will understand and give their consent. Even if they don’t, we will think of another plan. There has to be a way out of this. I am confident about myself but, trust me, I have more confidenc
e in our love.’
Zarish looked at him steadily. There was sincerity in his eyes. She had to tell him before her heart melted. She had to remain strong. She could not appear weak or he would know she was lying.
‘No matter what happens, I will always stand by your side and never break my promise. Okay?’ he asked.
She remained quiet.
‘We will try and work it out. Don’t worry,’ he said, caressing her shoulder.
‘Ahmar! Please stop’, she said, pulling her hand away.
He was shocked by her reaction, but tried to remain calm.
‘Okay. I’m sorry. I should have let you speak first. I know why you’re angry. I couldn’t call you while I was at the hospital because I wasn’t allowed to use my cell phone. And I know why you didn’t come to visit me . . .’ he said, adding, ‘your father must have stopped you. I know that.’
She stood still like a statue, motionless. Her silence made him nervous.
‘Anyway, everything is going to be fine now. You wanted to talk to me about something important, right? So, what is it, Miss Zarish?’ he said with a weak smile. Just then a white-coloured envelope in her hand caught his attention.
‘What’s this?’ he asked casually.
Now was the time to break the news, she thought. She slowly handed him the envelope. He gently took it from her and opened it.
It was an invitation card.
Mr Zia and Zarina Munawwar invite you to the engagement party of their daughter, Zarish, with Haroon on 19 December 2013, 7 p.m. onwards at Royal Palm Club, Lahore.
‘Is this a joke?’ he asked after reading the card.
‘This is not a joke,’ she replied curtly.
‘Look at me and speak!’ He grabbed her by her shoulder and made her face him. ‘Zarish, please tell me this is nothing but a joke! Isn’t it?’ he asked.
‘No, Ahmar!’ she said, pushing him back. He was shocked.
‘It is not a joke. I’m really getting engaged to Haroon this Thursday,’ she said.
Shock was writ large on his face.
‘You were right about me and Haroon. There was something more than just friendship. It is my fault that I realized it so late,’ she lied. She had to. There was no other option.
He looked at her furiously and his hands trembled.
‘How can I love someone else when I already have Haroon in my life?’ she told him. ‘And we love each other a lot. If you hadn’t come into my life, I would have never realized my actual feelings for Haroon. I want to thank you for that, Sir Ahmar.’
He shook his head in disbelief.
‘So . . . I guess that’s about it. I have to leave now. If possible, do attend my engagement ceremony.’ She turned to leave but Ahmar held her hand.
‘I know why you’re doing this. Your father has forced you to say all this. Right?’
She did not look at him.
‘Zarish, you don’t have to be scared of anyone as long as I’m with you. I said I’ll sort things out. You don’t have to lie to me.’
‘I’m not lying to you, Sir Ahmar!’ she retorted. ‘Now let me go.’
‘You had promised you would never leave me,’ he mumbled, still holding her hand.
A tear threatened to escape but she quickly wiped it away before he could notice.
‘You promised!’ Ahmar continued.
‘Ahmar! I did not mean any of it,’ she lied again. ‘It was merely an infatuation. I am sorry if you misunderstood my feelings.’
‘Don’t do this to me,’ he said tearfully. ‘I won’t be able to survive this. I need you, Zarish. Do you have any idea how much I love you?’ he asked.
She pushed his hand away. ‘I’m sorry, Sir Ahmar. I have to go.’ She walked past him and did not look back.
That entire night Ahmar called her but she did not answer.
She finally switched off her phone with a heavy heart.
He finally sent her an e-mail:
Zarish,
Why are you doing this to me? Are you hiding something? I hope you realize that this lie will destroy our lives. I can still talk to your parents and make them understand. Do not make any decision under their pressure. I assure you that I can convince them. You know I love you and can go to any extent to prove it. I am waiting for your response. Please talk to me.
Yours,
Ahmar
An entire week went by but she did not talk to him. All his attempts to get in touch with her were futile. Exams were coming up so there were no lectures as well. Zarish decided not to sit the exams. As it is, she was getting engaged to Haroon on Thursday and there was no time to study.
She lay on the bed, lost in thought. She had let go of her love too easily. She had suppressed her conscience all these days but now it had started to prick her, asking her questions. She could not marry Haroon, she thought. He was involved in her father’s evil plans. He was also responsible for ruining Ahmar’s life.
‘I have to escape from this situation,’ she told herself and wiped her tears.
The next day, Muraad walked into Ahmar’s room. It was in a total mess as clothes were scattered everywhere. Two suitcases lay open on the floor. Ahmar was sitting on the bed, sorting out his things.
‘Ahmar,’ Muraad said.
‘Dad please,’ Ahmar said, raising his hands. ‘Don’t try to stop me.’
Muraad had tried to dissuade him from leaving, but it seemed it was all in vain. He had asked his son to continue leading his life as he was before he met Zarish. But Ahmar hadn’t agreed. He couldn’t live in the same city as her. So he had decided to move back to the US. He could not go back to the university either as that would mean seeing Zarish and Haroon together as an engaged couple all the time. He was flying out a day before Zarish’s engagement ceremony.
‘I’ve not come here to stop you,’ Muraad said.
‘Then?’ Ahmar asked without looking at his father.
‘Someone is here to meet you.’
‘Who?’ Ahmar’s heart missed a beat. ‘Zarish?’
‘No. Someone else.’
Amber was waiting for him in the living room. When she saw Ahmar coming down the stairs, she stood up and gave him a warm smile.
‘I heard you’re leaving,’ she said.
‘Yeah,’ he said.
‘Uncle won’t be accompanying you?’ she asked.
‘Not right now. I’ll call him as soon as I settle down.’
‘Oh okay,’ she mumbled.
‘Anyway, you tell me? How are you? How’s Pari? You didn’t bring her along?’
‘She had to complete her homework.’
He nodded.
‘Uh . . . Ahmar,’ she said.
‘Yeah?’
She looked at him longingly.
‘Do you want to say something?’ he asked.
‘Do you really have to leave?’
‘What do you mean, Amber?’
‘Can’t you stay here?’ she asked.
He sighed again.
‘I can’t stay here. There are better opportunities abroad. I have to go for the sake of my career.’
‘That’s good.’
‘Now is the time to take things seriously. I don’t know where to begin but I know there is a long way to go,’ he said, ‘I know it’s going to be a tiring journey but I’m left with no other option.’
‘And you intend to take this journey alone?’ she asked.
He looked at her and then narrowed his brows.
‘Ahmar . . . I need to tell you something. Will you help me?’ she asked.
He stared at her with his mouth slightly open in bewilderment.
‘Please?’ she murmured.
Back to Present
Lahore, Pakistan
Ahmar Muraad had immigrated to Washington DC three years ago. Though he had moved with his father and daughter, the family had not sold their house in Lahore. Muraad divided his time between the two countries, and a few weeks ago had arrived in Pakistan on one of his business visits. Ahmar had
not visited Lahore since he shifted to the US. He was teaching finance at a university since completing his PhD, and it was difficult to take leave.
Ahmar seemed satisfied with his life: he had a fantastic job, a beautiful daughter, great friends, colleagues and his father was with him. Life was extraordinary in the US, yet very different from the one he had had in Pakistan—a life whose memories Ahmar had carefully buried when he left the country.
Sometimes a stray reminder would unleash a flood of memories. Ahmar would build back the barrage that held them out, each time making the wall stronger. It had helped him settle in his new life, besides he had lived in the US before.
Ahmar had not felt the need to get married. He had promised Amber that he would give Pari the life she deserved and he ensured that the child had proper care, attention and love.
Just before Ahmar had left for the US, Amber had reached out to him for help. He had been shocked to learn that she had been diagnosed with a brain tumour and her doctors had lost all hope of her recovery. He stuck around to support Amber, deciding not to leave her alone.
Ahmar took Amber and Pari to Islamabad to consult a renowned oncologist. The doctor had her admitted to a hospital where Ahmar spent close to a month with them. During this time, he grew very fond of Pari, rarely left her alone and started to take care of her almost as if he were her own father. A rigorous set of tests, scans, results and chemotherapy sessions followed. The oncologist finally declared that Amber could not be saved.
As her last wish, Amber asked Ahmar to take care of Pari. He promised her that he would never leave her side; that he would look after her as his own daughter. With her grandparents’ permission, he legally adopted Pari before shifting to the US.
Ahmar was content with his new life. He did not want to move back to Pakistan ever. However, he had now stumbled to another crossroads in his life. Zarish’s father had expired but she didn’t come to visit her parental home. Zia Munawwar had wanted to talk to Ahmar before he died. What had he wanted? Ahmar felt emptiness when he thought about what had happened in Pakistan three years ago.
The questions still lingered and Ahmar wanted answers. Moreover, he wanted to see Zarish. He wanted to know if she was happy with her life or not.