by Elsie James
Knocking on the door, I hear a dog bark. Juni opens the door wearing a black t-shirt and white boxers with pink hearts on them. She has purple, rectangular framed eyeglasses on, no makeup, and her hair is in a bun on top of her head. She is stunning. A sable corgi rushes to greet me.
“Vulcan, come over here. Stop it.” She scoops down and picks him up. He stops barking, giving me a quizzical stare.
“Hunter?” A broad smile crosses her face. “Hi. What are you doing here?”
“Here.” I hold out the bag from Blue Moon Bakery. “Are they still your favorite?”
Juni opens the bag and glances inside. She smiles at the gesture. “My cinnamon twist? You remember?”
“I spent four years of my life buying them for you, didn’t I?” I chuckle. She doesn’t officially invite me in but instead steps to the side and casually motions for me to pass her. The gesture, so informal, so comfortable, warms me to my core. She has always had a way of making me feel like a normal person.
I make myself at home on her couch. Vulcan comes to investigate me.
“Of course I remember. We drove all the way down the hill every chance we got. Now, you live down here.”
“You know, life off of Snob Hill isn’t that bad. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s simple. I’m happy here.”
Juni steps into the kitchen and I stand to walk her tiny apartment. Vulcan trails my every step. The walls are painted a warm gray with the exception of a bright, mustard colored wall that backs the fireplace. Houseplants in every shade of green hang from the ceilings and adorn every shelf. Original works of art in glossy white frames line the walls. She lives alone here, and yet this apartment is so full of life.
Juni comes into the room with two cinnamon twists on plates. We sit on the couch side by side as we have done so many times in our lives. I place my hand on her thigh, sliding her as close to me as possible. The feel of her skin ignites a craving for more. In an effort to distract myself, I glance around the room. The easel in the corner holds a half finished canvas.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Oh, I’m working on a piece for my upcoming art show.” Her eyes light up at the mention of her art. She grabs my hand excitedly with both of hers. “Hunter, you have to be a part of it.”
“Sure, let me know how I can help. I can get you a band or an open bar.”
“No, I don’t want your money. That’s not what this is about. This show is about letting the art speak for itself without all the pomp and circumstance. Just people admiring beautiful art together in each other’s company.”
That is so refreshing. Juni is everything my family is not. “Is this what you want to do with your life? Change the world one painting at a time?”
“Well, for now. What I really want to do is bring arts education to kids who have no access to it. Not every school is like the schools we went to Hunter.” She stands abruptly. I watch the outline of her ass in her white shorts as she leans over the coffee table to grab a photo off the mantel. Sitting next to me, she holds up the picture. It’s a green haired Juni, a blond woman, and a group of kids.
“This is my friend, Rachel. She teaches at an elementary school just ten miles outside of town. You wouldn’t believe how little she has to work with. No art supplies, no musical instruments, no training for the teachers.” A seriousness crosses her face as she talks. All I can think about is how to bring back her smile.
“Think of all the artists and musicians in this group of kids. The world will never get to enjoy them because they didn’t have the opportunities that we did. It breaks my heart.
“That’s why I volunteer in Rachel’s classroom once a week to teach an art lesson. But there are so many more classes like hers all around the nation. I wish I could get to them all. It’s the best part of my week.”
Five minutes ago I had never thought once about the art experiences of kids in elementary schools. Now, it’s all I can think about. Juni has a way of making me feel like I want to get involved. That’s what is so special about her, and why I’m committed to having her in my life.
“Juni, what you’re doing for those kids is incredible.”
“They are such fun. You would love them!” She bounces in place. “I invited Rachel and the students from her class to come to my art show. You can meet them there. You’ll come, won’t you?”
This is how it is with Juni. She can ask me for anything and I make it happen without hesitation. That has never changed. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
The morning turns into afternoon. We laugh about high school and discuss all that has become of the people we knew. She paints, and I watch her every stroke. I admire her body and imagine it as my canvas. Vulcan decides I am an alright person and nestles himself under my arm. Being in her world again, I get lost in the moment. When I lean in for a kiss, she’s happy to give it to me.
I have never felt such a visceral reaction to another person. Juni is my escape, and everything about her captivates me. I never want her to change. Her tiny apartment overlooking Main Street is a safe haven for both of us.
The more time I spend with her, the more I realize that these few stolen moments aren’t enough. But how can I merge her life with mine when we live in such different worlds?
“Hunter, you should’ve brought your guitar. If we’re recreating high school, the cinnamon twist is a nice touch, but we need your music. We should be hanging out with your strumming in the background.” Nobody has ever loved my music more than Juni.
“I’m not sure I’d know what to do with it anymore,” I answer honestly.
“Yes, I was there for your speech. I remember.” She rolls her eyes and then continues. “Hey! I have an idea. Play something at my art show. You said you needed a reason to pick up your guitar again. This is it. Please, Hunter, they would love to hear you play. I would love to hear you play.” She locks her eyes on mine, waiting for a response. I know in that moment there is nothing I wouldn’t do for this girl.
“Juni, I will be there.”
She throws her arms around me and I savor the feeling of being in her embrace.
◆◆◆
A few days later, Juni asks me to meet her and Vulcan at her grandparents’ house. She has always been close to them. Now that they are getting older, they need help around the house more often. I offered to send a team to take care of their lawn maintenance, but Juni insisted that she prefers to do it herself. She said she loves a reason to spend time at their house.
When I pull into the driveway, it’s just as I remember it. A quaint yellow bungalow with white trim on the outskirts of downtown. There are three large, front-facing windows and a blush colored front door. The whitewashed picket fence is overrun by the wild garden it tries to contain. An orange, flat-faced cat glares at me with suspicion from the old swing on the front porch.
Vulcan and I are buddies by now. He greets me at the edge of the yard with a lick. I pick him up as Juni ushers us inside. Harold Conner opens the door. Standing with brown slippers on the old green linoleum tile, he shakes my hand and smiles.
Much like the house, Mr. Conner also looks exactly as I remember. White hair with kind blue eyes and wrinkled skin. He wears a button down light blue shirt tucked into gray slacks.
“Hunter, how are you kid?” he asks.
Before I can respond, Mrs. Conner shuffles into their entryway in a long floral print dress. “Hunter, I haven’t seen you in so long honey. Sit down here.” She walks us into the kitchen. “You eat pie don’t you?”
Charmed by their kindness as always, I sit at the table.
“Now Hunter, are you a baseball man? Because we are a baseball family. We haven’t missed a game in forty years. And I’ll be turning that TV to channel four in just ten minutes, so we need to catch up quickly.” He chuckles.
“Harold!” Mrs. Conner scolds him. “Don’t worry about the baseball game, we have a guest.”
Juni laughs. “Grandma, it’s ok, Hunter gets it. He’ll watch the
game.”
Mrs. Conner continues, “Hunter, you tell us how you’ve been. Are you still playing your guitar?”
“I had to let it go... But, my family, the business, we’re doing well.”
“That’s nice, but honey, I am so sorry to hear that you are not creating. Maybe you will find a way back to your music. You’re very talented, I remember that about you.”
The rest of our visit goes exactly how I imagined it would. I ask about their garden. We talk baseball. Flat-faced cat paws at my ankles from underneath my seat. Vulcan entertains us with his tricks. As promised, her grandpa makes his way to the family room and turns on the baseball game.
“Sit down, Hunter. Watch the game.”
I comply with the old man. Juni and her grandma clear the table talking loudly in the kitchen.
I look around and I get it. This is the life Juni wants. It’s simple. They’re happy. Just the two of them in this tiny house. No drivers or enormous parties. Juni’s grandparents are good people who have spent their lives raising children and enjoying their grandchildren. Juni’s art is displayed prominently throughout the house right alongside the art her grandma created in the tiny studio above their garage. I steal glances of Juni as much as I can. Confident and real, I want her more than ever. If this life is what it takes to have her, then this is what I will do.
When the game ends, I stand and head for the door.
“Don’t be a stranger, Hunter. Please pick up that guitar again, would you?”
I thank Mrs. Conner and pet her flat-faced cat as a peace offering. Then I turn to Juni, hugging her and Vulcan. Her grandpa walks me to the door. Looking over his shoulder conspiratorially, he reaches into his pocket and hands me a twenty dollar bill.
“You take my granddaughter and my great-granddog somewhere nice.”
Chapter 4: Juni
Last night, I lay awake for hours thinking about this moment. My art show has finally arrived. Hunter, such a sweetheart, has been with me for hours. He has so many commitments with his role in his family’s company, but I have always been able to count on him. Loyal and sexy as ever, we hang each art piece at the perfect angle. Hunter sets up the sound system and picks up some take-out. Jessa drops off a beautiful bouquet of purple callas with a note wishing me luck on my big night.
My paintings line the walls while airy instrumental music plays through the speakers. A steady stream of friends, family, and complete strangers trickle through the door. Rachel arrives with a note from her students, thanking me for the time I spend in their classroom.
But my main joy comes from having Hunter with me. Sharing this night with him feels right. Unbeknownst to him, Hunter inspired so many of my pieces over the years. Friendship, jealousy, longing, choices, wrong decisions, loneliness, impossibility, our story displayed in acrylic.
The music stops and I look toward the small stage. Hunter stands with his guitar. He stares at me. I’m in shock. I haven’t seen him with that strap around his neck in over a decade. He looks uncharacteristically vulnerable.
“My name is Hunter and I’d like to play you a song.”
My heart leaps at the sight of him addressing the crowd.
“I had someone. And, I lost her for awhile. When she was gone, I felt like a dark rain cloud loomed over me. And then, out of nowhere. She came back. Like a strong gust of wind, she blew the cloud away. I can see the sun again. This song is for her.”
The confident Hunter that gave a speech at his father’s retirement party is replaced by a man holding his heart outside of his chest. He plays the most beautiful melody I have ever heard, never taking his eyes off of me as tears flow down my cheeks. This moment belongs to us.
Is this what a life with Hunter would be? I look at him honest, raw with emotion. Maybe he can separate himself from the life he was born into. He has such a gift. It pours out of him. Everyone in this room, especially me, appreciates his creativity and generosity. They don’t care about his money, and neither do I. It has nothing to do with money. It’s his ability to make music so beautiful that people feel connected to it and to themselves.
Brooding, authentic, and free, this is the Hunter I remember. Only hotter. I watch his fingers glide across the strings and imagine them gliding across my body. His bright, white teeth are hidden behind tightly pursed lips. His focused stare sends goosebumps down my body. The immense muscles in his forearms twitch with each note. His guitar is flat against his washboard abs.
When the song comes to an end, Hunter walks toward me, guitar slung across his back. He looks alive. Grinning from ear to ear, he wraps me in a hug.
“That felt incredible. I haven’t felt like this in such a long time. Music frees me, and I have you to thank for that. You are my reason for picking it back up.”
Hunter looks into my eyes. He leans in, pressing his lips to mine. His fingers grasp my hips with intensity, leaving me desperate for more. Our hearts beat in unison as he holds me in his embrace.
“I love you, Juni,” Hunter whispers into my ear.
◆◆◆
Hunter and I crash through the door of my apartment. His lips claim mine with urgency. I return the kiss with the same hunger. Pent up desire courses through me, making my heart beat faster. My hands roam his broad chest down to his abs as we frantically grasp at each other. My body responds to his every touch.
“The things you do to me. They’re torture,” he says between feverish kisses. His palms squeeze my waist and I control the rush to be beneath him.
Hunter gently pushes me into the wall and holds my wrists above my head with his hand. He pulls down the front of my dress with his free hand, exposing my black, lacey bra while sucking on the tender spot between my neck and shoulder. His mouth moves down my chest. I feel a warm air around my nipple, and then Hunter’s hot mouth wrapping around the bud. The way his lips move on me is pure ecstasy.
He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. His hips secure me to the wall. The bulge in his pants twitches as he grinds against me. Hunter’s hand slides beneath my dress, running up the side of my thigh and then between my legs. His fingers walk a path along the front of my panties. A warm sensation runs through me. His body begging me for more, my body already drenched with longing.
Hunter’s familiarity combined with this new sensation is intoxicating. Years of denied attraction make it impossible for us to slow down. He rocks a finger gently into me, and I moan. My walls clamp down on him from the pleasure as his mouth continues to give attention to my nipples. I can feel his firm length pressing against me.
My hands explore every part of him. Hunter pulls his head away from mine with a moan of frustration. He stands, carrying me. I wrap my legs tighter around his waist to anchor myself. Cupping my ass, he lowers me onto the couch.
“Take your clothes off for me,” he growls, his voice low with desire.
Warmth spreads within me. I slip my dress off over my head. Hunter pushes me onto my back. Tearing his shirt off, I watch his broad chest glistening with sweat.
His dark eyes devour every inch of me. I trust Hunter with my body and he knows exactly what to do with it. Parting my legs, he turns his attention to my swollen nub. He begins kissing, licking, and circling my clit with his tongue. My back arches with each movement, passion flowing through me. My hands search for something to hold because the pleasure is too much. I rock my hips against his mouth wanting more of the delicious friction. My walls clench with a need to be filled by him. Hunter is strumming my body like it has always belonged to him. Heat builds between my legs making me hungry for more.
He stares at me with an intense longing. “I want to be inside of you.”
“I want you, Hunter, all of you.”
Pulling his pants off, Hunter removes a condom from his wallet. The wetness between my legs blossoms into a heat. His huge member springs free from beneath his boxers. He groans when my fingers wrap around his penis, massaging it from the crown to the base, grasping him tighter with each stroke. Pushing
me onto the couch, he slides his thick length between my damp folds. My arms wrap around his chest holding onto him as thrusts deep inside of me.
My sensitive walls stretch to accommodate more of him. His fullness makes my body writhe with pleasure. I hold on, my legs pulling him further into me. I feel his cock harden with each thrust. I have never felt anything this intimate. Hunter grunts, rocking his hips back and forth bringing a mind shattering sensation.
Desperation for each other drives our bodies together rhythmically. Time stands still for us in this moment of pure bliss. His movements are swift and so intense the warmth building in me begs to erupt into orgasm. Hunter increases his speed, my walls collapsing around him.
Pushed over the edge, my body thrashes beneath him as I climax. Moaning out from the sheer force of my orgasm. Stilling, Hunter lets out a guttural moan of release. The feel of him flooding my walls takes over me, and I savor the feel of him pulsating inside me.
He smiles breathlessly. “That’s what you do to me, Juni.”
Hunter collapses onto me. We fall asleep, cuddled together. It feels so right to be with him like this. He has me two more times as the sun comes up. I wake up still wrapped in his arms. We lie together, wasting the morning away and not caring at all.
◆◆◆
“I love you, Juni. I’ve always loved you.” His leg over the top of me flattens me into the bed. “Come with me to dinner with my family at the ranch tonight.”
“What? Hunter, no. You know I hate going up the hill. It’s uncomfortable for me. I don’t fit in up there.”
Life within the walls of my parents’ ranch threatened my very existence growing up, stifling me with a pressure to conform, pushing me to be something I never could quite achieve. Driving me to do things that “good” girls who grow up behind locked gates just don’t do.
“I hate all the gated entries. Who needs a property big enough to have its own zip code, anyway? I hardly visit my own parents’ ranch. I can’t.”