by Bella Jewel
“You make sure you call me if he shows up and he isn’t a fuckin’ good man, yeah?”
“What are you going to do, bash him?”
I lean in closer to her, and she sucks in a breath. “I’ll fuckin’ take his head off if he hurts you.”
She blinks, slowly, and then smiles. “Well, that’s a little extreme, don’t you think?”
I lean back. “Nope.”
She shakes her head but keeps the smile. “I like you, Cohen, I’m glad we’re friends.”
Me too.
Fuck, me too.
6
NOW – AVIANA
“Well, well, the missing link returns.”
I stare at Sissy and my face scrunches in disgust. She was a bitch back then and she’s a bitch now. Still an attractive bitch, but a bitch all the same. Fuck me, I just thought of bitch a lot in one sentence, but how else are you to describe her?
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite bully.” I smile coldly. “How are you, Sissy? Good, I hope.”
She scowls at me. “I’m doing well, actually. Unlike some ...”
I glance around, pretending to search for someone who isn’t there. “Who are you talking about? I don’t see anyone else here.”
She rolls her eyes. “I see you haven’t lost your sarcasm, Aviana.”
“I see you haven’t developed a personality, Sissy.”
She opens her mouth to retaliate when Cohen, Kendric, and Mykel walk into the room. They glance at us, standing by the bar at the club, and Kendric grins. I’m sure he does find our little exchange quite hilarious.
“Boys,” Sissy says, giving them a fake smile.
“What’re you doin’ in town?” Mykel asks her, sitting on a stool at the bar.
“I needed to see my brother. I’m looking for Dad but he’s not answering my calls.”
King.
Someone I haven’t seen since the day I fucking went missing. He has more to do with this then they all realize. I’m certain of it.
“King is busy doin’ somethin’ for the club,” Cohen mutters, his gaze swinging to mine.
I look away.
Fuck him.
“Well, I need to speak with him. Where’s Alarick?”
“Office,” Kendric says gruffly.
Sissy spins on her heel and saunters down the hallway. “Later!” I call after her, and she throws a scowl over her shoulder before disappearing.
“Still so lovely,” I say, more to myself than anyone else.
“You here to see me?” Cohen murmurs, his voice low and gravelly.
I turn and glance at him. “Not by choice, believe me.”
“Drop the fuckin’ attitude for one day so we can get this finished and I never have to fuckin’ see you again.”
Ouch.
Brutal.
“Ditto,” I say, holding his penetrating gaze.
He stands and extends an arm. “After you.”
Right.
Of course.
I move toward the back room where there is a large table in the middle of the floor surrounded by chairs. It’s a mess and, honestly, would it hurt them to clean up around here a little? Yeesh. Seriously. I scowl at a few empty beer cans that I have to kick out of the way to get to the table. Don’t get me started on the panties tossed over the back of one of the chairs. I glare at them like they’re personally bothering me somehow and, with a flick of my hand, send them flying to the floor.
“Someone’s a little jealous.”
I glare at Cohen as he takes a seat across from me, his eyes intense as he watches me huff around until I finally sit down.
“As if.”
He shakes his head slightly before saying, “We both don’t want to be here, so let’s get this over and done with so I don’t have to spend any more time listenin’ to your negative fuckin’ attitude.”
“What is your problem?” I growl. “If anyone here has the right to have an issue, it’s me, Cohen. Not you. You’re the one who started this whole fucking mess.”
“Back to that, are we? You’re never goin’ to let it go. It wouldn’t matter what I say, so I’m not even goin’ to fuckin’ try. Now, are you goin’ to listen to me or should I fuckin’ try again another day?”
His voice is impatient, and his tone is sharp. I grit my teeth together and say nothing more, even though there are so many things I’d love to let slip off my tongue right now. Many names, a whole lot of curse words, and a heck of a lot of blame. Blame that should fall entirely on his shoulders, but he’s refusing to let it touch him.
He wants no part in my pain.
Even though he’s the one who pushed me straight into fucking hell.
“What do you need from me? I’ve given Alarick everything I know.”
“Wrong, you haven’t,” he mutters, staring at his phone where he opens up something on the screen. “Looked into your fuckin’ Benedict and the locations. Can’t find a single thing on him, but the locations are certainly remote and maps shows me that there are houses in the locations you’ve provided. Gotta know that I don’t trust you, Aviana, so I want more information.”
I tense and cross my arms. “I’ve told you the truth.”
“Have you?” he challenges, looking up to meet my eyes. “You think I’m fuckin’ stupid, don’t you? Do you honestly believe I’ll let you lead my club into a fuckin’ ambush? You want revenge, it’s written all over your face. I’m not lettin’ you take away the only family I have.”
“You mean the same way you took the only family I had?”
He slams his fist onto the table. “The father and brothers who couldn’t give a fuck about you? Is that who you’re talkin’ about? The ones who couldn’t care less if you lived or died? Don’t push your fuckin’ anger onto me. You’re lookin’ for a reason to hate me, but the only one you have is that I sent you away—I’ll take that. Don’t even fuckin’ tell me you’re angry because I rid the world of the scum that you called family.”
I stand and slam my hands onto the table, rage burning deep in my chest, exploding forth as I cry, “Fuck you, Cohen. Because of you I’m left with nothing! Nothing!”
“They gave you fuckin’ nothin’,” he roars, standing too. “All they did was act like you didn’t fuckin’ exist. Stop actin’ like you actually fuckin’ care that they’re gone. You don’t. You’re so fuckin’ bitter. I thought I knew you, but this version of you is as evil as the people I put in the fuckin’ ground.”
I lunge across the table like a mad woman, my body sliding across the timber as I go for him. My hands reach out, and I scramble to get closer as I scurry across the table like a fucking crazy person. When I reach him, I get to my knees and slam my fists into his chest. Big angry punches that hurt, god do they hurt. I scream with frustration and rage and so much pain I can hardly breathe through it.
Cohen takes my wrists, never once stepping away or back down.
He’s not scared of me.
Why should he be?
“Let me go!” I scream, jerking as hard as I can but it only makes his hands tighten around my wrists.
He pulls me forward and, with a snarl, he says, “Whatever you’re fuckin’ plannin’ here, Aviana. I suggest you back down. You hurt even one hair on anyone here's head and I promise you, I’ll put you with the rest of your family.”
With that, he lets me go with a shove. I topple backward and roll off the table, landing on the floor with a thud. For a moment, I’m winded. I can’t breathe through the pain as I lie on my side on the floor. I’m not sure if it’s the pain from the fall or the pain from my pride because his words cut me so fucking deep it burns. I bite my lip to stop it from trembling, refusing to release years of pent-up tears.
I won’t cry for them.
For anyone.
Get up, Aviana.
Do not stay down.
“What the fuck is goin’ on in here?”
Alarick’s angry voice can be heard from the door.
I don’t move.
“
Aviana?”
He moves to me and reaches down, taking my arm and hauling me up. I’m clenching my jaw so tightly it burns, but I don’t look to Cohen. I don’t say all the foul and horrible things sitting on the end of my tongue. I’m afraid if I open my mouth all the pain that’s rising to the surface will unleash too. They’ll see how truly broken I am. How utterly pathetic I have become.
“I’m done.”
I shove Alarick so he’ll let me go and pick up into a run as I leave the room. I don’t stop until I’m out of the house and running toward the entrance. I reach the road and turn left, picking up the pace as I head toward town. The feelings building up in my chest are crippling, and I struggle to breathe as I run faster and faster, my mind swimming, my soul slowly fucking drowning.
A car slows down and, as the window winds down, I see Waverly, a girl I met a few days ago, with another woman. They both stare at me as they near, and Waverly calls out, “Hey, Aviana, right?”
I stop running and stare at them, panting and gasping for air.
“Are you okay?” she goes on, narrowing her eyes. “Do you need a ride?”
I can’t speak.
Can’t move.
The entire world around me is falling to pieces.
The other woman gets out and walks over to me, she reaches out and takes my shoulder. “I’m Zariah, are you okay?”
I shake my head.
It’s all I can manage.
“Come on, let’s get you somewhere safe.”
She guides me to the car and, without hesitation, I climb in. I sit in the back as they turn the car around and head back into town. I don’t say anything, I don’t do anything, I simply sit there feeling like everything is going to collapse at any moment. My breathing slowly becomes more stabilized and when we pull up at a bar, I want to scream with joy. I don’t know these women, but I like them already.
“Let’s get a drink,” Waverly says, getting out of the car and coming around to my door, opening it.
I get out of the car and follow them inside the bar where we find a quiet booth and order a round of shots. I still haven’t said anything, but as I sit across from them, watching them stare at me in confusion and concern, I know I have to say something soon or they’re likely to call someone.
“Thank you for picking me up.”
It’s all I can think to say.
Waverly smiles, her face bright. She’s gorgeous and friendly, and I can see the wild streak in her. I know because I used to see the same one in myself. “You’re more than welcome. Is everything okay? Were you coming from the club?”
I nod, reaching up to rub a sore spot on my forehead where I hit the ground as I rolled from the table. The image of Cohen pushing me burns into my soul, the feeling bitter and ugly. It creates a pain in my chest I don’t fully understand.
“You look like you’re going to have a good bruise there,” Zariah says, narrowing her eyes. “What happened there this morning?”
“Cohen and I ... You could say we don’t see eye to eye. We got into a fight.”
“Cohen did that?” Waverly asks, her eyes wide. “I will go in there and cut his fucking balls off if he did.”
I smile. I can’t help it.
I think I’ll like her.
“It wasn’t what you think. The two of us have some pretty big problems, I guess you could say.”
“I’ve heard,” Zariah answers, giving me a sympathetic look. “We’ve all heard your story, Aviana. I’m sorry.”
“The funny thing is,” I mutter, taking a shot when the waitress puts them down, “is that nobody actually knows my story, do they? They only know what they’ve pieced together.”
“Well,” Waverly says, taking a shot too, “I guess it’s a good thing we’ve got a lot of shots and all afternoon.”
Cheers to that.
I swallow the burning shot down as the other two ladies do, too.
This should be interesting.
“WAIT,” WAVERLY SAYS, sitting beside me, leaning in close, swaying a little as she does. “You were stuck with that man for like five years?”
“Yep,” I say, taking another shot even though my head is swimming from the amount of alcohol we’ve consumed in the last few hours. “Cohen had me sent away, and I ended up in the hands of a man who wasn’t so nice to me, but the problem was when I tried to get away, I had absolutely nothing. I had no home, no job, no money and ended up on drugs, on the streets. I found myself going back to him, being the only thing I knew. He could be cruel, but he kept me safe. I guess you pick your battles, huh?”
“Why didn’t you run away, find a job, and start somewhere new? Or come home?” she asks, her eyes wide.
“Because I had nowhere to go. I had no family left to run to, my aunt had died. I was literally stuck with nothing and no one – there was no way I could make it back here, I was thousands of miles away. Not only that, but I had no money, no experience and quite frankly ... I was broken. I was just so broken.”
Waverly’s face softens and she leans in closer, putting her arm around my shoulder. Zariah left us about half an hour ago when Kendric came to get her. She had only taken a few shots but told us she can be a messy drunk and didn’t want to have anymore. She made us promise we’d stop `soon, but we’re touching upon evening now, and I feel like we’re only just getting started.
“I’m so sorry, my gosh. I can’t imagine what that was like. I hear the stories about the girls who were with Dax and I think wow, they had it so hard, but what happened to you ... it was awful. How did you get back here?”
I laugh softly. “It was quite funny, actually. The man I was with, Vaughn, hired a woman to clean his house. She was British and travelling around the world, you know, a tourist I suppose. She worked in each town for money, doing whatever she could, and he hired her as a housemaid for six months. She and I, we became friends. When I told her my story, she helped me get out of there and took care of me until I got home.”
“Seriously?” Waverly gasps. “That’s incredible. Where is she now?”
“She is traveling around. I hope I’ll see her again one day because I owe her my life. She saved me during a time when I honestly thought I was going to be stuck in that hell hole forever.”
Waverly’s face softens a little. “The man who had you, was he horrible?”
“If you call beatings and rape horrible, then yes, he was. It wasn’t all the time, though. More often than not, he let me have free reign over the house. I cleaned and cooked, kept the gardens in order. It was doing that that gave me the confidence to run. The first time I ran, I wasn’t prepared. I ended up on the streets on drugs, like I said. I also got attacked, and that’s when I knew I had to go back or I’d be killed. I certainly hadn’t thought my plan through. So, I went back.”
Waverly’s face is a mix of shock and horror. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.”
“Well, going onto those streets showed me there was worse out there. I stuck with what I had, and when I returned to him, he treated me a little better. If I did as I was told ...”
I tremble at the beating he gave me when I returned back to that place after being on the streets. The way he grabbed my hair, slammed his fist into my face, threw me against the wall and told me that if I ever tried to run again, he’d kill me. That night, I tried to kill myself. I tried so damned hard, but he got me to a hospital in time. When I woke up, I was determined to get out of there, even if it took me years.
I would find my way home.
But I’d be smart about it.
I wouldn’t go out onto the streets alone again, not without a plan.
I started stealing his money, stashing clothes in a secret spot at the house when I was cleaning, I stole little bits of money and put it away. I had a plan. I had one thought in my mind.
I was coming home.
No matter what it took.
Waking up in that hospital, with my wrists bound, I knew I could either decide to die,
or I could fight. I decided then that I wanted answers and I was going to come home and get those answers.
So fight I did.
“Anyway,” I say, shaking the memories from my mind. “I’m not there anymore.”
“No, you’re not, but it wouldn’t be easy to get over something like that.”
She’s right. It isn’t.
Most nights I have nightmares.
Some days I struggle just to feel anything but numb.
Still, I’m here. I’m here, and I’m not giving up yet.
“No, it isn’t. It broke many things inside me, but I’m slowly piecing those things back together.”
“Is it true Cohen was the one who sent you away?”
I nod, my heart hardening at the very sound of his name.
“I can’t believe he would do such a thing,” she whispers, shaking her head in horror. “I mean, there had to be another option.”
“Apparently, there wasn’t.”
“I’m sorry, Aviana. You’re a god damned warrior is what you are.”
I snort. “Yeah, something like that.”
“Anyway, let’s not dwell on the past,” she throws a hand up. “You’re here now and you’re gorgeous, and we’re going to drink and maybe find you a nice man to grind up against.”
I laugh. “I like the way you think.”
She grins.
I like Waverly.
Yeah, I like her a lot.
7
NOW – AVIANA
We stumble into the club just after nine that evening, both of us drunk, both of us giggling like teenagers who just tried their first beer. Waverly has her arm around my shoulder and my arm is around her waist as we walk toward the blaring music coming from the very packed clubhouse. There are women everywhere, most of them barely dressed in clothes that cover them. Bikers are lingering around, drinking and smoking, and it’s clear the club is in full swing.
“There you are. Where the fuck have you been?”
Mykel’s harsh voice stops us just as we reach the front door and, together, we spin ourselves around to face him. His eyes scan over Waverly before looking to me. “Aviana was having a crisis, and I was there helping her,” Waverly informs him, her words slurred. “We’re good now, we’ve got it all sorted out.”