“Is your steak cooked to your liking?”
Now that the main courses have arrived, I’m feeling a little drunk. But I can hold my alcohol. I’m not like Claire. The antics she used to get herself involved in…no, I’m in complete control.
“Yes, it’s delicious.” If I were too drunk to know what I’m doing, I wouldn’t be able to cut my meat. Very logical.
“You know, Bianca, Max sounds like a good guy, but maybe you’ve outgrown each other. It happens. There’s nothing wrong with him owning an air conditioning repair business or playing drums in a band, or even riding a motorcycle. But if you’ve tried for years to tell him what you need and it hasn’t worked, maybe this is for the best. I can’t wait to watch you spread your wings and fly.”
Like a bird. At least he’s not calling me Birdie. I need to make sure Eric never finds out about my silly nickname.
He’s right about Max, but then why do I feel guilty for dumping him? And looking at Eric’s chest? At least I never cheated on him. I always broke up with him before I slept with someone else.
And Eric is like my boss, so this is just a friendly work dinner. Maybe I’ll try online dating in a few months, after I get immersed in the job. And I’m sure Max is already banging groupies. He was trying to make me jealous back at the house by alluding to a new woman.
There’s no rush to get into a relationship, but I can enjoy flirting with a good looking guy. No harm in that. I do have to drive, though. I suddenly recall that I drove myself here. Shit. Maybe it’s time to lay off the wine, but it tastes so good.
I sigh and take another bite of the decadent, tender meat. Hmm… I smile at Eric and say, “Thanks. I am looking forward to spreading…my wings.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Sharon
“And the wheels on the bus go round and round…”
Mick claps his hands and runs to his miniature drum set. Every time I sing a nursery rhyme or little baby song with him, he likes to accompany me. You would think the constant banging would drive me insane, but it’s so adorable. His little face gets twisted in concentration, and I can see he wants so much to be like his father.
His mother didn’t come home last night. It’s not like this has never happened before. When Max and Bianca used to break up every few months, she would frequently drink too much and hook up with some guy. But that was before she became a mother. Since then she has been responsible. However, this is the first break up since they became parents, and Bianca’s first genuine temptation.
“Gam, Gam!”
Mick chastises me for interrupting our jam session with thoughts of his wayward mommy. I walk over to him and pat him on his little red head. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. Do you want Grandma to give you a treat? Let’s see if there are any cookies left from last night.”
He throws his drumsticks, and both he and Phoebe run to the kitchen. She also knows the word ‘cookie,’ but of course she’s getting dog treats, not double chocolate peanut butter delights.
I stuff a couple of peanut butter dog treats in Phoebe’s mouth to get her off my leg, and I sit Mick in his high chair with half a cookie and pour some milk into his sippy cup.
I’m absentmindedly petting his hair as he begins to eat, when I hear steps on the front porch. Good, Bianca is home. My crazy…I mean, my lovely mother is coming for a visit today, and the last thing I want is to explain that Bianca’s whereabouts are unknown.
I kiss my grandson on the head and walk to the front door. I can already see through the side window that the footsteps don’t belong to Bianca.
I sigh as I gaze upon my guest. Wasn’t being a single teen mother enough stress for one lifetime? How is it that I am still embroiled in my daughter’s adult drama? At this rate my nest won’t be empty any sooner than if Mick was my own baby.
“Hello, Max.” I open the door slowly and brace myself for a barrage of questions. I wish I had some prepared answers. Lies. I need lies.
“Hey, Sharon. I crashed at Rob’s place last night after the show, so I was in the area. I wanted to take Mick to the park before Great Grandma Valerie arrives. That’s later today, right?”
Max moves his head from side to side, attempting to peek into the house. And isn’t he actually living in Rob’s apartment? Never mind, I don’t care. I just want to finish cleaning for my mother’s inspec…I mean, visit. Damn that daughter of mine.
“Yes, she’s coming this afternoon. With Arthur. But I guess that would be fine, as long as you have him back in a couple of hours.”
Max shoves his hands in his pockets and rolls back on the balls of his feet. With a smirk he says, “I tried to call Bianca.”
Here we go.
“All morning, in fact. I see her car’s not here. Do you know where she is?”
My heartbeat quickens and I search for a plausible location for my irresponsible, reckless offspring. “Um, she went to the deli. To get food for the visit.”
The deli? Where the hell did I get that from? There is like one deli in Richmond. I must have watched an episode of a food show set in New York recently to come up with that gem. Why didn’t I just say she’s riding the subway?
“The deli, huh? You’re not cooking for your mom and Arthur? Wow, I don’t know if I’ve ever eaten a store-bought meal in this house. You must really be on the outs with Val.”
I scramble again and come up with this winner. “No, I just want more time to focus on the visit. You know, I’m always in the kitchen.”
Max shakes his head and says, “Sharon, seriously? Why are you making shit up? I know damn well Bianca didn’t come home last night. I drove by on my way home from the show at almost three and her car wasn’t here. Then I drove by a few hours ago and it wasn’t here. So unless she went to New York for her deli meats, she spent the night with her new ‘boss.’ Right?”
Oh boy. He’s calm but he’s fuming. It’s not like I’m afraid of him, but I want Bianca to be able to start this new job tomorrow in peace, and I’m worried about Mick being in the middle of a huge mess.
“Okay, no. She didn’t come home. But maybe she went to stay at a girlfriend’s house. The date…meeting could have ended early and she headed over to Zoe’s or Katie’s, and they went out dancing. Maybe she drank too much. You know Bianca doesn’t drink much any…?”
He’s shaking his head again.
“They were all at the show last night. Remember Zoe is in the band! And Katie was there with some new guy. All of Bianca’s friends were with me last night, except her new friend.”
I sigh and try to control my breathing in order to stay calm. And prevent an early heart attack. I loosen my grip on the front door and invite Max in with a hand gesture.
“Look, Bianca is a grown woman. I agree she should have called, but she knew Mick was here with me and she’s going through a tough time. It’s a big—”
“Yeah, going to fancy dinners with a rich guy, a new job. She’s really suffering.” He pauses and looks into the kitchen, where he’s spotted Mick.
“Dada!”
“You know what? I don’t care what she does. I don’t need her riding my ass all the time. This is probably the best thing that could have happened to me. She’ll be sorry when I’m on the big stage and she’s not there to see it. This breakup is going to be good for me, too. I’ve already got a date. With a nice woman who stays home with her child, and doesn’t pawn her off on her…anyway, I’m taking my son to the park. Is that okay?”
“Of course. You don’t need my permission.”
“You got that right.” He takes Mick out of his highchair and they go off in search of the diaper bag in Mick’s closet. A few minutes later they emerge.
While Mick says good bye to Phoebe, which involves him trying to grab her, and her running under the couch, Max quietly says, “I’m sorry, none of this is your fault or responsibility. You shouldn’t be in the middle of all of this. I can’t believe how easily she can replace me, but I get it. This guy has it all, and she sees me as a loser.”<
br />
“No she doesn’t.” I touch Max’s arm.
“It’s alright. Maybe I have been acting like one. And it’s not like she didn’t find someone else every other time we’ve broken up. I thought this time was different. We’ve had a pretty good run. I guess I thought two years and a kid together meant something to her. Anyway, sorry again. I’ll be back with Mick long before Valerie’s visit. And as a matter of fact, if Bianca is back by then you can come outside to collect him. I don’t need to see her.”
“I appreciate it. The last thing I want is a big fight with my mother here. You know how she is.”
“Yep.” He grabs Mick and picks him up. The toddler looks so tiny in his dad’s huge arms. “Bianca didn’t learn her ball busting from you, no matter how much I may have teased you about it in the past.”
He opens the door and walks out with his baby, and a diaper bag with ducks on it. The contrast to his biker boots, chains and tattoos is both striking…and charming.
Bianca
“My mother has no idea where I am!”
Eric rolls over in his king sized bed, and in the light of day I get a better view of his toned chest with a smattering of dark hair. Unlike Max, his arms and chest aren’t the size of a gorilla…
He reaches out to pull me closer. “I think she probably has an idea. Sleep well?”
I frown as I realize I just made myself sound like a teenager out past curfew.
“That came out wrong. I mean to say that my mother is babysitting, and I do live with her, so it’s like letting a roommate or a sitter know where you are.” I talk into Eric’s chest as he begins rubbing my back and planting kisses on my neck.
“I understand. I’ve never had to worry about that, but you’re a mother, and therefore more responsible.”
I pull back and grimace. “I don’t know if sleeping with the boss before I even start my job can be classified as responsible.”
And my overnight absence is going to make that fact impossible to hide. Hopefully Max can be kept out of the loop.
Eric grows more serious, and props his head up on one elbow. “Hey, there’s nothing to worry about. Technically, I’m not the boss—Raven is. And this isn’t just a one night stand, unless that’s all you want. I know your breakup is very recent.”
I want to scream that I don’t know what I want, and things are moving too fast on all fronts. But I like Eric. A lot. I’ve never been with a man like him. Actually, I’m beginning to realize I’ve never been with a real man. Period. Just a string of immature, overgrown teenagers.
“No, I like you. I mean, this was great. I have a lot going on right now and I’m not sure—”
He puts one finger to my lips, which is a major turn on, even though it’s meant to shut me up.
“Bianca, you don’t have to be sure of anything. I like to live in the moment. And if the moment is a good one, I try to continue the activities I’m currently enjoying into the next one. And the next. So no pressure. Or worries.” He plants a kiss on my lips and says, “Why don’t you call your mother and make sure your little Nick is okay.”
He grabs my cell phone from his bedside table and hands it over with a smile.
“Thanks. It’s Mick. My son’s name. After Mick Jagger. Remember, I told you that Max wanted a whole Rolling Ston…never mind. I’m going to make that call now.”
I’m not practiced with ‘morning after’ small talk. Most of the time I wouldn’t stay the night because wherever I ended up wasn’t somewhere I wanted to remain any longer than necessary.
On the contrary, Eric’s apartment in the downtown, riverfront financial district, is stunning and expansive. I could get used to this lifestyle. I bet he hasn’t lived with his mother since his college days.
“I’m sorry. I won’t forget that again.” He leans in and starts kissing me, stopping himself abruptly and saying, “Okay, I’m getting up to shower and start breakfast. Otherwise, we’ll never get out of bed today.”
He jumps up and pulls on a pair of lounge pants, but not before I get a full view of the rest of his body. Oh boy, too bad I need to get home for Grandma Valerie today. Of course I also need to relieve my mother. The last thing I want to do is become even more of a burden to her.
Eric smiles once more as he disappears into the bathroom, closing the door—probably more to give me privacy than him.
I am not crazy about the fact that I have to tell my mother where I am, but we have an open relationship. She’s such a young mom, and I haven’t exactly been a choir girl the past ten years or so.
That’s one of the reasons I’m not looking forward to seeing my grandmother. She’s not so virtuous herself, but forgets that when she’s criticizing me. She’s been on my case ever since she caught me smoking when I was fifteen, listening to Green Day with Katie behind the shed that Mom now uses as her catering kitchen.
Great Grandma Phyllis was cool. She pretended she didn’t see us, and we loved to hang out at the house we now call home. But when Val blew into town, she was quick to judge and harass my poor mother about my upbringing. Maybe if she had provided any stability as a mom, my mother wouldn’t have gotten pregnant at sixteen.
I scroll through the texts on my phone first. Katie wanted me to know how much fun they had last night, and everyone missed me.
Ugh. Chain. I will miss going to the shows. Maybe someday when the dust settles, Max and I will be friends, and I won’t have to give up that part of my life.
Glancing at the messages from Max, I would say that isn’t going to be any time soon.
Apparently he’s been looking for me this morning. He said he wanted to take Mick to the park before my grandmother’s visit. I say he is just being nosy because someone told him where I was last night, and he is fishing for information. Shit, I hope he didn’t show up at the house.
His texts become increasingly hostile and accusatory, and I decide to delete them without reading them. It’s none of his business what I do.
A sudden wave of guilt is quickly replaced by righteous indignation. He had plenty of chances to be the man I needed.
The older, wiser, more successful guy in the shower could be what I need. At least for now. We may come from different worlds, but he couldn’t be nicer. Or hotter.
As I dial my mother’s number, I replay last night’s events in my head. Yes, this could be the start of a whole new life for me. Neither of us was drunk, either. I sobered up by the time I made my decision.
That’s at least one step in the right direction for my love life.
Max
“Come on, Diamond. Rob is trustworthy, and I’ll be there the whole time.”
Diamond rolls her enormous, pale blue peepers at me and says, “Oh, well now I feel SO much better letting my daughter go to the park with Rob. You’ll be supervising.” She smiles and observes my annoyed expression. “Max, I’m kidding. Of course I trust you. Everything was fine when you all went to the bounce house. You’re a great dad. Bianca is a—”
“Okay, let’s not start the bashing this early. My head is still pounding from last night. I consumed a bit more adult beverages than my saintly brother after the show.” Rob rubs his face and rolls his shoulder muscles.
“Yes, I remember. It takes a lot of alcohol to get a man of your sexy bulk drunk.” Diamond sits on Rob’s lap, and now she’s straddling him. Really? The kids are playing on the floor.
“Okay, break it up before I puke. Rob, get your lazy ass up and help me get the kids in the truck.”
I turn to Mick and Ruby, Diamond’s little girl, and say, “We’re going to feed the ducks! Isn’t that exciting?”
Mick smiles and giggles, but mostly because Ruby is dancing around on her tiptoes and pumping her little fist. She’s a character, and it’s easy to see she’s her mother’s daughter—even at two. Mick is enthralled with her every move. It’s too bad it’s not this easy to make grown women happy. Fortunately my son has many years ahead of him before he has to learn that hard lesson.
Bu
t for now, I need a diversion from my rage towards Bianca. She has the nerve to say I’m irresponsible? We’ve been broken up for a fucking week and she’s already staying out all night banging her new boss, and doesn’t even call her mother, who sits at home babysitting. Maybe she’d like to be out banging someone.
Sharon’s a good looking woman, and she’s only in her early forties. I may have used her house as a place to save up for my own, but I paid my way. Her daughter uses her in a whole different way. But what do I know? I’m just the dumb guy with a blue collar job.
My mind flashes to Bianca and that douchebag having lunch at that café. That was their first meeting, and I could already see he was moving in for the kill. He probably sees her as a conquest, like he’s slumming it with the help. If he’s anywhere near as rich as that Raven chick, he is out of Bianca’s league. But whatever. She can cheapen herself. I have a date with a nice, beautiful woman who is a real mother. Not some trashy…
“Max, hello! I packed the diaper bag for Rob. Do you have everything you need for Mick?”
Diamond is holding the diaper bag out to Rob, who looks at it like it’s a bag of dog shit. I guess he still feels like an idiot with a diaper bag, but like he said last time, at least it’s a stylish one.
I bet that guy Bianca is with has no kids, and wouldn’t lower himself to take a baby to the park. He’d probably get a nanny to do it, and…I better stop. I’m getting myself all worked up.
She never ends up with anyone she sleeps with after we break up.
“Come on, Bro. There are hungry ducks out there. Kids, let’s hit the park!”
Sharon
“Okay, don’t worry. Mick is fine. He has no idea what time you were supposed to be home. And he’s out with Max anyway.”
I go on to explain to my wayward daughter that her son’s father picked him up to go to the park, and she isn’t too happy.
“What did you expect me to do? I can’t deny him access to his own son? And I’m not lying for you, either. You two need to work out a legal custody agreement if you want to control his visitation. And frankly—”
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