“I’m Bianca’s best friend. You know, Max’s ex? His very recent ex?”
“Katie, don’t you have some tables to wait on. It’s pretty busy in here. You need that tip money coming in, right?”
“So Amber, where did you and Max meet?”
“Oh, at the bounce house. We were both there with our kids.”
“You’re a mother? How nice. Well, you guys have fun. What are you drinking, Amber? You’re a little low.”
“Just lemonade.”
“Did you want a hard lemonade? We have Mike’s—”
“She’s good, Katie. Thank you.”
Katie continues to smile, and the funny thing is that she’s not being a bitch. I know it seems like it, but Katie is one of those ridiculously honest people, and she has zero tact because of it.
She begins to walk away. “Okay, it was nice meeting you, Amber. Maybe Max will bring you on the hike on Sunday. You’re still going, right?”
I give Katie a look that finally makes her shrink.
“Okay, I’ll let you guys talk about it.”
She finally disappears into the crowd and I relax my shoulders.
“She’s nice.”
I start laughing and bury my hands in my face. “Yeah, she’s great. Listen, Amber, I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. We’re both dealing with very recent breakups. You’re a nice guy, and you really have that bad boy look, but with a sweet underside. But honestly, if my parents saw you they would have heart attacks, and I don’t think I would fit in—”
I put my hand up to stop her because her face is getting red, and she looks like she’s going to cry. “I agree. I think we let an initial physical attraction, and the kids, make us think we could be compatible. But I don’t know what the fu...hell I’m doing.”
Amber reaches her hand out across the table. “You still love her, don’t you?”
“Yeah. I do. I’m sorry. I wasn’t planning on using you, I swear. I was hoping I could sweep Birdie under the rug and move on quickly, like she’s doing.”
“Birdie? Is that your pet name for her? It’s cute.”
“She hates it. And me.”
“So you say she’s moved on quickly?”
I tell Amber the whole story of Eric and the new job.
“Hmm…I have an idea.”
“What? Please don’t say I should talk to her because she won’t give me the time of day.”
She shakes her head, and glances around—maybe to see if Katie is lurking.
“No, I want to help you. So what’s the deal with this hike? Is Bianca going? Maybe bringing the new guy?” She raises one eyebrow.
“Wow, I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you. You devious little minx! You really want to help me make her jealous? Is that proper?” She really seems like the proper type.
“Who cares? You have a child together, and you still love her. You obviously have a tremendous amount of things in common. I don’t think she’s fallen out of love this quickly. I think she’s been lured by something she thinks is better, more stable. But I’m sure it’s not. Rebounds don’t work.”
“Yeah, that’s why we would be a mistake, even if you were a rocker chick…or I was a boy scout.”
She smiles again and says, “I may be a little sheltered and tame, but I don’t like to see good people hurting, and besides…I need something to keep me from hiring a hit man to find Charlie.”
“You have many layers, Amber. Are you sure I can’t interest you in a stronger drink? You may need to develop the habit between now and Sunday. When you see the crew going on this hike, you’ll want whiskey in your water bottle.”
“I can handle it. I’m used to dealing with a bunch of crazies. I was in charge of dealing with the auditors. If you can stomach the IRS, you can take on anything. My only question is—are you sure Bianca will go?”
“Oh, I can take care of that.” I raise my right hand and gesture at our overly enthusiastic blond friend. Here she comes.
Some people make things so easy.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Bianca
“So what do you think about the hike?”
We are on the way to the party. I’m wearing the clothes and shoes Eric sent over, and he made a huge show of complementing me. My mother kept smiling, but peering at him through narrowed eyes.
I know that look of hers. She’s reading way too much into Eric’s gesture.
I also know she is going to comment on his lack of interest in Phoebe, the bunny, and even Mick.
But what does she expect? He’s a bachelor who lives alone. He’s not used to kids and animals. He probably felt overwhelmed. It doesn’t mean he can’t adapt.
Eric is steering his Mercedes into the right lane to get off at the downtown exit. The party is apparently not far from his house, and I’m sure we’ll wind up there after. Maybe the party will be so boring that we’ll be able to sneak out early. Max and I have a sign for that purpose. I mean, had a sign.
“A hike, huh? Crabtree Falls? That sounds nice. I’ve been meaning to get out of the city and head to the mountains. All of your friends are going?”
“Yeah, it’s been planned for a long time. And Max isn’t going. I mean, not that it would matter. But he told my best friend, Katie, that he had other plans. She said he was already out with someone else. On a date. Another redhead.”
Eric smirks and says, “I’m sure her hair isn’t as…vibrant as yours. You’re not jealous are you? If you are, I understand. You’ve been broken up such a short time. If you think we’re moving too fast, I want you to tell me.”
I unbuckle my seat belt as he pulls up into a parking deck. I guess you don’t park a car like this in the street.
“I’m fine. Really. I told you—I’ve been getting over him for the past few months. It just took me awhile to pull the trigger.”
He looks shocked. “The trigger, huh? Please tell me you don’t have a gun. What if I misbehave?”
He leans in and kisses me, and we proceed to misbehave in the parking deck for the next fifteen minutes or so.
He whispers in my ear as we adjust our clothing, and I fumble for my lipstick.
“We’ll try to leave early. I just need to make an appearance.”
Yes, Eric and I are on the same page.
Max only wanted to leave parties early so he could go home to play video games. It’s nice to finally be with a real man. Let the new girl deal with his childish nonsense.
Eric comes around to my side of the car and opens my door, offering his hand.
Time to behave.
Eric
If I have to listen to one more inane, old, rich person babble on with some boring drivel about their yacht or their summer home…
“Eric, my dear boy. How have you been?”
Raven’s grandmother, Mrs. Alexander, grabs my hands with her bony, ice cold fingers. Her enormous rings are digging into my flesh.
“I’ve been wonderful, Mrs. Alexander. Would you like me to get you a cocktail?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Bianca talking to some man I’ve never met. She’s smiling and nodding politely, as he’s wildly gesturing. It appears he’s telling her about a time a bomb exploded or he had to jump out a window.
Probably a movie producer.
“No, I’ve already had my champagne. If I drink anymore I’ll never get to sleep. I’m sure you heard about Raven’s wedding. That should have been you. I mean, you should have been her husband, not some closeted fruitcake…”
She drones on and on, and I am wishing I could find a closet to climb into, particularly with Bianca. Now that would liven up this party.
Unfortunately, these people pay my salary. I primarily work for the Alexanders, but I serve as a consultant to other businesses.
Basically I’m an accountant/investment manager/human resources liaison/errand boy. I know my stuff, but I also know when to keep quiet. As far as I know, I’ve never been a part of anything illegal, but I have ear
ned a reputation for discretion and secrecy.
Not that any of them respect my privacy, but I do have a problem from time to time getting involved with their daughters, nieces, and sometimes housekeepers. Only one nanny. What can I say—I enjoy mixing on both sides of the economic fence.
“Yes, it is a shame what happened. But Raven always lands on her feet. Who knows, she might come home from this trip with a new man before the ink is dry on her divorce papers.”
“They don’t even have to get divorced. Harold ripped up the marriage certificate right after the wedding blew up in our faces. But you know my son, he is ever the gentleman and he handled himself splendidly. Not like my granddaughter—hiding under the table with the help, of all things. When she gets home tonight, I’m going to have a word with her. ”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear. Is Raven due back in town soon?”
Bianca appears at my side, and doesn’t seem the least bit intimidated by the wrinkled, bejeweled matriarch. Then it hits me. They’ve met before. Bianca was the one under…crap, where’s that closet?
Mrs. Alexander narrows her eyes, and the wrinkled lids almost cover her eyeballs. I don’t think Bianca could do much for her with a makeover. It’s funny how she never had plastic surgery with all of that money…
“Aren’t you that serving girl who was hiding Raven under the table at that abomination of a wedding? Why are you so dressed up? Do you work for this catering service now?”
Mercifully, Raven’s mother walks by and sees the steam coming out of her mother-in-law’s ears. Penny has always been the most open-minded one in this family, but probably because according to her husband’s family, he found her on the wrong side of the tracks.
“What is the problem here, Mother?”
Penny places her arm gently on the older woman’s shoulder.
“I was wanting to know why this serving girl is here, and all dressed up like a guest. Don’t you remember her? For all we know she’s the one who convinced Raven to run off.”
Penny sighs and says, “Mother, this is Bianca. She was working at the wedding, but Raven hired her to work at the salon in Washington Hill. And she’s here as Eric’s guest.”
Mother looks like she’s going to keel over, and I squeeze Bianca’s hand in solidarity. I’m not worried that I’ve done anything to jeopardize my job. Harold Alexander only cares about the bottom line, and Penny has always liked me.
The old woman needs to be pacified. She doesn’t realize it, but her power is greatly diminished in this family. At least her power to butt in and cause trouble.
“Are you taking up with the help again, Eric? And what do you mean, she’s working in the salon? Are we serving food now, while people get their hair done?”
“Mrs. Alexander, I’m a makeup artist. I was helping my mother with her catering business. Raven admired my work and we got to be friends. She asked me to come work at the salon to expand the business model to include beauty makeovers.”
Finally, the old lady is speechless.
“You see, Mother. Bianca explained it better than any of us could have. How are things going at the salon, Bianca?”
“Very well, Mrs. Alexander.”
“Call me Penny.”
“Oh yes, and call me Martha. Let’s all have tea.” She huffs and says, “I swear these young people have no respect for class and—”
“Harold, can you please help your mother? I think she needs to lay down for a while.”
Harold rolls his eyes, more at his mother’s nonsense than his wife’s request.
“Eric, good to see you. Can you come by one afternoon this week? I’d like to go over a few things. Oh, and this must be Bianca.”
He shakes Bianca’s hand. I wish I had sent her a shawl to cover her tattoos.
She did have the sense to take out her nose ring. The Alexanders are pretty modern and liberal, but Bianca does need to work on fitting in, at least a little bit.
It’s all a private turn-on for me, but a little too public in some circles.
“Thank you for the opportunity to work in your salon, Mr. Alexander.”
“Raven raves about you.” He laughs and says, “My daughter is a wild one, but she has a nose for business. She’s getting in late tonight. I’m sure she’ll be in touch. Enjoy the party.”
He takes his mother by the elbow. “Come on, Mother. Let’s find a place for you to rest.”
She doesn’t put up a hysterical fight, but she can be heard all the way to the back of the dining room.
“I’m not surprised that you approve of this nonsense. After all, you brought home a girl from a questionable background. If you’d only married the girl from the club…”
Penny puffs out her cheeks theatrically and shakes her head. “Bianca, my deepest apologies for her behavior. She’s a grumpy old…well anyway, I’m glad things are going well for you and I’m sure Raven will be in touch.”
She glances at me and says, “Just be good to this one.”
Bianca
Well, that was fun. NOT!
Penny’s remarks are said with some humor in her voice, but I can tell she really was issuing Eric a warning.
Does he have a playboy reputation? I haven’t said a word to him yet about Raven. I don’t know if they were seriously involved or if her parents even know about it.
As the week progresses, I see how little I know about Eric Kimball.
“You handled that beautifully. I just have to talk to a few more people and I promise we can get out of here.”
Eric bends down and whispers in my ear, “We’ll be at my place in an hour. Can you wait that long? I saw a roomy coat closet on the way in.”
I pretend to object, but it would be fun. More fun than getting grabbed by the next drunk, rich guy who wants to tell me a story.
Although, the last guy had an interesting one about a video game his company is producing.
I almost told him about Max, but then that seemed wildly inappropriate on many levels.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Bianca
“So the ski season in Borovets just ended, as did my relationship with Bogdan, the ski instructor. Who knew that a dark and steamy Bulgarian man was just what I needed to get over a cold, blond, gay guy?”
Raven picks at her salad as I suppress a laugh.
I’m so glad she’s back, and asked me to lunch today. I’ve wanted to bounce so many ideas off of her, because…Jennifer is scary, and Eric isn’t hands-on enough. Well, he is with me, but not with the beauty industry.
“You crack me up. You look fabulous. So will you be in town for a while?”
“Yes, I think I’ll stick around. I’m pondering more business ventures. So, you and Eric, huh? I’m not surprised by that.”
I grimace a little and say, “Is that a bad thing? I’ve been worried that you wouldn’t approve. It just sort of happened. I accidentally slept with him and now…I really like him.”
“You accidentally slept with him? Did you slip on a banana peel and fall into his bed? Wait, I know…tequila made your clothes fall off!”
She’s laughing, but I don’t get it.
“You know, the country song? You don’t know, do you? The tequila reference is from a song. Anyway, I must say—you work fast. When I left a couple of weeks ago you had a boyfriend and you were a family girl, and now your whole life has changed. How are you holding up? You look tired.”
“I’m a little worn out. Max is being…okay. But it’s weird with Mick and having to see him. Plus I don’t know if Eric is going to be able to handle a child, and it makes me wonder if this can become something serious.”
“Do you want that?”
“I think so, but I’m not sure I fit into his world.”
“He probably doesn’t fit into yours so easily, either. But Eric is a good guy.”
She takes a sip of water and inhales deeply, like she’s about to start doing yoga or Lamaze.
“I think you should know that Eric and
I dated. It was before Corey, obviously. We were together about two years. Now of course I don’t have a baby, but he was serious about settling down. But before me, and since we broke up, he’s gone through his share of women.”
“I don’t really care about that. The excessive women. And I appreciate you telling me about your relationship. He didn’t tell me.”
“Don’t get too mad at him for that. He will eventually. But tell me this—has he tried to change you at all? Get you to dress or act a certain way?”
My heart flutters as I think of the outfit I wore to the party last night.
After we were lying in bed, I did ask him about that. He said he was just being thoughtful, since I wouldn’t have much time to shop with the new job and the baby. He seemed genuinely considerate, and if he was embarrassed of me he wouldn’t have brought me to that party. He would have tried to hook up with me after.
If he’s not treating me like a booty call, I have no right to accuse him of disrespecting me.
“No, he’s been great. He defended me when…”
“You can say it. I heard about Grandma Alexander when I got home last night. My mother spilled the whole story. That’s why I wanted to catch up with you for lunch today. Make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine. I have a grandmother, too. At least yours doesn’t bring bunnies to your house.”
We laugh as I share tales from my home life.
I went home last night to relieve my mother on overnight baby duty. Mick was asleep, but I don’t want Eric to get used to me sleeping over on a whim. Once Mick and I get our own place, I won’t be sleeping anywhere but in my own bed. It will be up to Eric if he wants to join me. If not, he can follow Max out the door.
I’ve learned my lesson with men. The only one I completely trust still pees in his pants and sleeps with a teddy bear.
Back at the salon, I look forward to my next client. She’s a friend of Hyacinth’s. She has a hot date tonight, and she’s looking for a new look. I haven’t done a lot of work with darker skin tones, and this girl’s complexion is several shades darker than Cin’s. It should be a fun, creative challenge.
Accidental Makeovers Page 18