by Dale Mayer
“Ouch,” Meredith said. “So by me following your orders, it made him angry enough to blow, thus letting go of some of these issues?”
Dani nodded. “And that might be hard for you to accept,” she said, “but you might want to consider the fact that this is probably exactly what he needed.”
“So, now what?” Meredith asked quietly. “It’s been a week.”
Dani nodded. “Shane’s requested that you stay away for another, say, two or three days, maybe as long as another week. Then we’ll bring you two together and see where Gregory’s anger spikes again and how.”
“Along with psychologists?”
“Maybe, if needed,” Dani said with a serious tone to her voice. “The whole point of this is his healing.”
“I know.” It was on the tip of her tongue to ask what about her healing, except she wasn’t the important one here. She was one of the staff, not one of the patients. And there was only so much that anybody could do in a situation like this.
“And I understand how hard it is for you,” Dani said. “But remember that, when he’s a whole person, it makes life a whole lot easier on everyone.”
“Exactly,” Meredith said, standing up. “Anything else?”
Dani shook her head. “No, you’re free to go, but please, slow your pace down. Your absence did what we needed it to do, and you will get over this, and so will Gregory. You can both make up over this,” Dani reiterated.
Meredith let her lips quirk upward into a semismile. “I hope so,” she said, “because he’s a good man, and I value his friendship.”
“Are you friends?” Dani asked curiously, stretching back in her chair, her arms in her lap. “Did you ever get to that stage where you’re actually friends too?”
“I thought we were getting there,” she said, “but we haven’t really had enough time. And, no, you’re right, before it was much less of a friendship and more of a relationship.”
“Exactly. So maybe take the time, once we pull the brakes off, to get to know him, know who he really is, and see if he’s still the same person you fell in love with.”
Meredith walked to the door, and she then turned. “The trouble is, I already know. As soon as I saw him again, I already knew I’d made the wrong decision last time. I just hadn’t acknowledged it. Until I couldn’t see him again.” And she turned and walked away.
She headed back to the nurse’s office and just stared at her monitor. There was absolutely nothing going well for her today. Another two to three days. She shook her head. “That’ll be very painful.”
“I know,” a man said from the doorway.
She looked up to see Shane. She frowned at him. “I don’t want Gregory to think that it was my choice to stay away.”
“And we’ll tell him eventually,” he said. “But we had to spike that anger so we could find an outlet for it.”
“And I understand that,” she said. “At least in theory I do. But it hurts. I hate to think of him hurting because of something he perceives me to have done when I didn’t.”
Shane folded his arms across his chest. “I promise we’ll fix it afterward,” he said, trying to put her worries to rest.
She nodded and stared down at her paperwork. “Another two to three days?”
“If you could, yes, please.”
“Of course. Anything for him.”
As Shane retreated, he tossed back, “It’ll go very fast.”
She muttered to herself, “Not fast enough.” She knew the damage had already been done no matter what they said, but it’s what she had to deal with, and Gregory’s health came first. That was her job. For the first time in a long time, she realized how much her job sucked at times. But there was no point in moaning about it, so she reburied herself in her work.
There was still no sign of Meredith. Gregory wondered if it was her choice or if she had been ordered to stay away. Maybe both. He’d been a pretty ugly sight these last few days, he admitted. He didn’t know any other way to have it work, so he wasn’t someone she should be around regardless. It’s not like he was at this best. He didn’t really know what he was doing yet because the slightest thing could set him off. When he mentioned it to Shane, he had nodded and said, “We need to get more of it out.”
“I don’t want to,” Gregory said quietly. “I don’t like seeing that part of my personality.”
“Which is why it’s even more important to release it all,” Shane said, his tone equally low. “Particularly if there’s anybody around here you want to spend time with. That anger is old. It’s bitter, and it’ll poison everything around you.”
Instantly Gregory’s face shut down. He looked around the room and said, “What are we doing next?” He watched Shane hesitate and then nod.
“Let’s move on to the water exercises. I’ve wanted to give you some specific things to work on while you’re there.”
“Good enough,” Gregory replied. “It’s almost four o’clock anyway.”
“So we’ll spend a half hour going over some things in the water. Now I want you to practice this a minimum of three to five times a week, if you can.”
“I don’t even get to the pool that often,” Gregory said.
“Well, from now on, we’ll make it a part of your workout. It’s one of the best whole-body exercises that we can do for ourselves.”
“Well, I guess these shorts I’ve got on are my swim shorts anyway,” he said, “so let’s go down.” He led the way to the elevator, out to the patio, only to see Meredith leaning over the deck above. He feasted his eyes on her until someone called her away.
Without giving Shane any chance to help Gregory—particularly after the last time, when Shane had locked the wheelchair and threw Gregory in—he took a couple hops to the railing, being careful to not slip, and fell in. The water closing over his head wasn’t the same kind of relief that he’d experienced last time, but then the last time had been so emotional that he’d been drained afterward. He’d even spent most of the last several evenings eating dinner in his room. Now this pool work would force him back in the public eye again, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for it.
Gregory came back up slowly and floated. This time, Shane walked along the edge. He instructed Gregory to go through the paces of standard swimming techniques to see just where he was at.
Gregory shook his head and said, “I did this for a living.” He swam like the dolphin he was, back and forth from one stroke to the other, rolling forward and backward and sideways. When he finally came to a stop, Shane grinned at him.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?”
Gregory nodded. “It does. So, what is it you want me to do in here?”
They went over a series of exercises that seemed simple enough at first, but Gregory very quickly learned that simple with Shane was not simple because Gregory had to do it exactly as Shane said, and he wanted certain muscles isolated. No other muscle was allowed to come into play. And that was really hard as Gregory had found the gluteus maximus—or his butt—had a tendency to take over everything it possibly could.
Shane explained. “That’s because it’s the big stalwart muscle that knows it can handle this. It’s always protecting and guarding the rest of the body. But, as such, the rest of the body gets to be weak and isn’t gaining any strength, like it needs to be. So these exercises that seem like they’re nothing will make a big difference.”
Gregory trusted him so far. Shane had led him into the storm and then guided him safely back out again, so Gregory would certainly trust Shane as he went into the water and back out again. But it wasn’t easy to sort through. As a matter of fact, it seemed like a lot of trouble, and for what? By the time Shane had explained exactly what to do and when to do it, Gregory felt his own body rebelling. Finally he stopped and said, “Six.”
Shane assessed the truth of his words and the pain of the workout, then nodded. “Now it’s dinnertime, if you care.”
“Well, I care,” Gregory replied. “It’s just that I’
ll stay in the water for a bit. Feels like a little bit of energy needs to be broken down.”
Shane studied his face for a long moment. “No more than another twenty minutes. We’re not going back into the muscle-cramp scenario we slid into before.”
Understanding, Gregory immediately headed back to swimming. As long as he focused on his laps, he could get his mind off Meredith. When he finally came to a stop, he wasn’t tired, but all his senses had been on alert, making the swim not so relaxing. As he looked up and casually looked around, he still saw no sign of Meredith. She wasn’t coming back.
He could feel his insides deflating. Had she left on purpose to avoid him? It seemed like that’s what she had been doing these days. But then, looking sideways, he saw Shane and Meredith standing at the top of the stairs, talking—he hoped not about him. Because that would be humiliating. He knew that Meredith herself was very private and wouldn’t want to be talked about, so he hoped that she would give him the same courtesy. He made his way to the side and, of course, realized too late that he had forgotten a towel.
He looked around and hopped up, standing on his one leg. He could walk if he had to, use his stump for balance for a moment or two, but it would just set him back from getting a prosthetic, so he sat down in his wheelchair, wet and all, and moved to where the towels were. There, he switched to the bench, took the towel, dried off his wheelchair and then proceeded to dry himself.
It was nice enough out that he wanted to just lie in the sun. He folded his towel, put it on the wheelchair and then wheeled over to one of the loungers, where he stretched out and closed his eyes. It had been a long time since he’d done something like this, and it felt good. He was starting to feel really good on the inside.
It wasn’t anything like what he’d thought good actually felt like when he’d first arrived here because this felt like a holistic inside-out kind of good. He knew it didn’t make any sense, and it was darn hard to explain, but it was helpful. And, with that, he closed his eyes and napped.
Chapter 12
Meredith looked at Gregory down below on the lounger. She didn’t want him to sleep too long or to miss dinner or to get too burnt.
Shane leaned against the railing beside her. “You really care, don’t you?”
“I do,” she said. “I made a mistake five years ago with him. And I knew he was coming here, and I tried to prepare myself. But I honestly thought, after all this time, probably nothing was between us, but there certainly is on my side. But I didn’t let myself believe it.”
“I know it won’t make you feel any better because of the enforced separation that we’ve requested, but he cares too.”
“Oh, he cares,” she said, “but I’m not sure it’s the right kind of caring.” She gave Shane a sad smile and continued, “I don’t know if you’re standing here to watch over him, but he could burn.”
“I’ll stay here and have a cup of coffee,” he said. “I’m meeting up with a bunch of our new residents.”
“Good. I’ll get changed, have a shower and come back for dinner.” She disappeared quickly. If it was the only way to stop Shane’s conversation, then she’d take it. Back at her place, she realized she should have picked up a plate of dinner and brought it home with her; then she wouldn’t have to worry about going back out there.
For a moment, she contemplated the idea of just staying in for the night and then decided she needed the social aspect too. She’d been working so hard these last few days that she’d isolated herself even more than usual. Forcing herself into shorts and a tank top with a light sweater, in case a breeze came up, she put on sandals and headed back outside.
She stopped along the pastures and smiled at the horses. Appie and Lovely were running across the field, absolutely delighted with the day.
Appie jumped and kicked, and the little baby llama tried to follow. Meredith laughed out loud, loving the mix of animals in nature. When something cold nudged her hand, she looked down to see Helga, the great big Newfoundland with the peg leg, beside her. She crouched and gave her a big hug. “Are you supposed to be out here on your own?” she chided. “Or is that the problem? You are out here on your own, and you’re completely lost. Or lonely.” She gave her a big cuddle and then straightened, brushing the dog hair off her, and walked toward the pool area, calling Helga to join her.
She looked up to see if Shane was still watching over Gregory, but he’d disappeared. That would mean Gregory was probably gone too, but then she saw him, still napping on a lounger. Helga was at her side the whole way. It was a problem trying to keep her out of the pool most of the time, and Dani, not wanting to have the poor dog suffer in the heat, especially with Helga’s heavy coat of fur, had changed to a different filter system on the pool, so the animals could come in at times too. And just then, Helga got the idea, and she raced ahead and did a belly flop into the pool.
Meredith giggled and giggled, her cupped hands at her mouth to not disturb Gregory’s nap, while Helga swam back and forth. Then she hopped up the steps, stood at the top and gave an almighty shake, splattering water all over Gregory. He woke with a startled cry as he sat up to see Helga right beside him, shaking hard.
He looked at her, laughed and said, “There are easier ways to wake up.”
“Maybe,” Meredith said as she walked toward him. “But it’s a fairly unique one, you must admit.”
“Maybe not around this place,” he said.
Helga walked closer to Gregory so she’d get a cuddle from him, and, as his hand came away completely coated in wet dog hair, he sighed. “This is definitely not the cleanest way to head in for dinner.”
“And that’s why there are outdoor showers, soap and a separate drainage system right over there.” She pointed a few feet away from the pool.
He looked and smiled. “I don’t think I even noticed that before.” Getting up, he made his way to his wheelchair, rolled over where he could turn on a sprinkler head system and quickly washed up again. He looked at her and asked, “Are you going up for dinner?”
She laughed. “I’m starved, so, yes. You?”
“Maybe in a bit,” he said, his tone turning more formal. “I’ve got to get changed first.”
She nodded and immediately withdrew. “Enjoy,” Meredith said. She scampered up the stairs as fast as she could. At the top, she walked over to the line starting to settle down, but some of her emotions must have shown on her face because Dennis took one look and asked her what was wrong.
She gave him a brittle smile. “Nothing. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m hungry,” she said in an attempt at a teasing tone.
“I hope so,” he said, “because I know you would enjoy this. I made southern fried chicken just for you.” Immediately she held out her plate, and he gave her three big pieces.
She laughed and said, “The only thing I’ll have room for besides this is some salad.” He grabbed a second plate and put a big salad on it.
Seated outside, she felt a little melancholy, wanting to be alone, but not so alone that she was out in the field with the animals. She needed human contact too, and right now it seemed like her contact—limited as it had been—only highlighted how much she had spent every day wondering how quickly she could see Gregory. It wasn’t like she didn’t treat her other patients with great care, but, in her mind, she was always waiting for an opportunity to see him. She’d just seen him outside, but it hadn’t the same effect as seeing him face to face.
There was no longer that same friendliness between them. Something was definitely broken. And, for that, she could blame Dani and Shane. And Meredith also knew that, if she brought it up to them, they would say what really mattered was the fact that Gregory was healing.
So she wouldn’t cause any waves because the last thing she wanted was to lose her job and to never see Gregory again.
Waking up to see her standing there, watching him, Gregory took all the strength and determination that he had to not break out in a big smile and reach for her hand. But it was
n’t to be, and he’d soon remembered that she’d avoided him for the last couple weeks.
Gregory wanted to go back to his room and get changed, but he could have gone and had dinner with her. He could have spent a few moments in her company, remembering the good things they had enjoyed about each other before. Instead, he let her walk away, wanting it to look like he didn’t care. Then again she probably didn’t care. So who was he to create something out of nothing?
Angry and fed up and just sad with the whole scenario, he made his way back to his room, where he collapsed on the bed and stared out the window. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now.
He was adjusting a little bit more to their workouts. The only good thing about that was how tonight he had lots of energy and didn’t need to just crash. The bad thing about that was how he had lots of energy and wouldn’t just crash.
It also meant that, once Shane found out, he would change Gregory’s program the very next day. According to Shane, they had to continually shift the program and make Gregory’s body work to adapt all the time. But he was hungry, and he needed food. Shane had been very clear about that too.
As Gregory changed for dinner, he had to decide on crutches or the wheelchair.
He was still waiting on that prosthetic. He was hoping for it the very next day. He had thought it would be here already, but it wasn’t. He grabbed his crutches, put them under his arms and immediately felt his muscles scream.
“So much for that idea,” he muttered. Wheelchair it is. Gregory laid the crutches against his bed, sat down on the wheelchair and took himself back to the cafeteria for food. He could smell it from outside the doors. He rolled his way forward to see Dennis’s big grin greeting him. “Are you always this happy?” Gregory asked.