by Ellie Mack
Queen of Savon
"Noel? Is that really your name? Oh my gosh! That’s so festive!"
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My name is Christmassy. I know. I don’t want to be a Scrooge, and yet, it seems like beginning on December 1st, I start getting triggered like crazy.
I smile at the cashier, but I’m sure it looked more like a grimace because she kind of turned red and whispered, “Sorry.”
Red. I picked up my bag of every blue glittery ornament I could find. It was a bit of a splurge, however, cobalt blue is my favorite color, glitter just makes me happy, aaaannd I may or may not have had a bit of a breakdown last night. All of our red decorations stashed in my parents' attic that I had collected so carefully fifteen…fourteen...up to ten years ago, mysteriously got broken.
I realized I was smiling sadly standing in the snow, freezing my butt off! I chuckled and threw my bag over into the passenger seat so I could scramble into my little Toyota pickup and get that heater cranking.
Here’s the deal. I have been imagining the perfect man for me since I was two. Yes, two. Also, I am a touch love language, so not having a significant other has been literally excruciating throughout my life. So naturally, I have been looking forward to and saving little trinkets, etc. here and there for when I got married.
When I finally got together with my ex eleven years ago, I could have sworn he was the one. He was literally ninety-eight percent perfect on paper. He didn’t have tattoos, and he wasn’t in the same industry as me. Those were the only things that were off. Or so I thought.
Did I mention that I’m a model and actress? Plus-size model. I guess I have to specify.
*Insert eye-roll here.* Most people still look me up and down like, “Yea, Okay...” But I know who I am.
So anyway, I was like, Dang! Ninety-eight percent is probably the best I’m going to find, right?
Our first date was on December third. My life literally went straight from heaven to hell in the hour that followed. We stayed together until December first three years later. Thank God though. I could finally breathe without being contradicted and sleep without bad things happening.
I snapped out of my reverie only to realize I was idling in my driveway with no idea how I had gotten there. That wasn’t good. I mean, the store is less than a mile away, but geez!
I have got to get my life together!
I grabbed my bag and picked my way around the slippery bits of the walkway to my camper. One day it would be a legit tiny house, but for now, my little pink and white 1954 Arrow was home. I shivered as I climbed in the door. Thank God it was still cozy and warm with the last embers glowing in the mini wood chip stove I put in last summer. I tossed a few more pinecones in it and pushed them around a bit until they lit up nicely.
Ooh! The teakettle was still nice and hot on top. Tonight my soul needed a good cup of hot cocoa. And a movie…something hopeful. You know how people say they are “hopeless romantics”? Well, despite all my baggage and trigger-happy anxiety issues, I prefer to call myself a hopeful romantic.
There is this thing in the Bible where Paul is talking, and he calls himself a “Prisoner of Hope...” There could be no better description of me.
I crank the carols up on the radio while I slather every bit of the less than 100 square feet of my home in twinkling lights and blue glittery things. When everything was finally swagged to my satisfaction, I opened my little kitchenette cabinet to grab the cocoa mix and a mug and...I was out.
Y’all don’t understand. I know you are thinking, just have tea, or a nice decaf latte, Chai, or something because in the sliver that is my kitchenette, at least half my cabinet space is indeed taken up with every kind of drink mix. Hot drinks may or may not be my drug of choice. But no. I NEEDED that hot cocoa. On a night like tonight, with a cheesy movie and the lights twinkling off of every shimmery piece of Christmas cheer in my cozy little world, after a day like today, and a month like this month, I needed my chocolate!
So, I was off to face that cashier again with my face burning this time. And as I was rounding the corner to the coffee/tea/hot chocolate aisle Blue Christmas came on the store radio and, “Ooof,” I ran straight into a slightly less than solid brick wall. I looked up into the biggest gray-blue eyes I have ever seen, set off by the dark blue dye job on his mess of curly hair. The wall steadied me, gently gripping my arms, and to my surprise, I found myself gripping his rugged ink enhanced forearms. I was sure all those blue snowflakes that they were talking about on the radio melted when he didn’t let go.
It’s been a couple of years now, and he still hasn’t let go. Decembers have not been the same since that night.
Did I mention that blue is my favorite color?
Dear Diary:
December 2nd
My mom tears up every time this new guy kisses her forehead. I mean, he’s not really new I guess. They have been married for three years now. She says we should be thankful for love when we find it ‘cause so many people just survive without it day in and day out their whole lives.
I don’t really know what she’s talking about, and I kinda think they’re gross. He left for part of his tour today. Thank God!
Dear Diary:
December 12th
My mom is making me take karate! She gets to do modeling and acting and dance and singing! She says she does it because she loves it, and God uses her to show people that they are beautiful just the way they are, and that they should be able to do whatever God calls them to do in life no matter their shape, size, color, or ability.
What if I’m called to dance? Whatever that means. I guess I’ll never know because I have to take dumb karate.
Dear Diary:
December 13th
I hate karate! I just want to take dance! I hate it but Mom says I have to learn how to defend myself. She says that God takes care of us, but she says sometimes God expects us to fight too. She said God saved us when I was a baby but she had to fight a monster to get away! That’s so crazy! I wish I could remember that!
Dear Diary:
December 18th
I never had a dad before. Not really.
I mean, my Paw-Paw is kinda my dad because we lived with him my whole life ‘til my mom married Justin. Ugh, he has really weird dreadlock hair! And tattoos all over, and I’m not allowed to listen to all of his music, but I wouldn’t want to anyway! What I have heard is HORRIBLE!
I only like Vae Vae Valdez right now. And Justin is not even close. At least he’s gone kind of a lot on tour. Then me and mom usually go hang out with Paw-Paw and Ne-Ne and it’s all back how it’s supposed to be. But Mom looks so happy when he calls. She usually can’t answer the phone or has problems breathing when she does have to talk on the phone, but for some reason she gets really calm when she hears his voice.
When he finally comes back, he always kisses her forehead and hugs her for a long time with his chin sitting on top of her head. Then he looks over at me and says, “Hey, sis. Did you take care of your mom for me while I was gone?” Um, duh!
That’s what I’ve been doing all of my life.
I have a big sister now though, so that’s kinda cool. She’s in college. She’s so awesome! When she comes home, she always takes me to the mall and drives me in her Richie car! She’s really nice. She never really had a mom, so I guess we are kinda the same.
Dear Diary:
December 20th
Ellie (that’s my sister) came to stay with us tonight. She’s on break from college. I’m on break too! Hopefully, she will take me to the mall. I can’t wait to have Christmas with her, even if her dad has to be there too.
Dear Diary:
December 24th
OMG! You are not going to believe what just happened! I set my alarm on my iPod to go off exactly at 3:37 A.M. because that’s when Santa was supposed to be here. We checked NORAD. I tried to see if his sleigh was out there, but Justin’s big dumb tour bus was blocking the view out my loft window. He wasn’t even supposed to get here until tomorrow!
&
nbsp; I heard someone in the living room so I thought maybe Santa was already inside. Me, mom, and Ellie made like five different kinds of cookies and put some of each out for him with chocolate almond milk. I hope he is ok with that because we don’t drink regular milk. Anyway, I peeked down the stairs and mom was whispering to Santa! I knew it was him ‘cause of the giant bag he had over his shoulder. And the hat of course. Then–and this is crazy because my mom freaks out when strangers even come to the door–but she kissed him!
Just then, Ellie grabbed me and made me go back to bed. She said if I got caught, then Santa would have to take back all the presents. I told her what I saw, and she just rolled her eyes and told me to go back to sleep!
How can I sleep with what just happened?
I peaked back down a little later, and Mom and Dad . . . I mean Justin, were snuggling on the couch, and they built a fire so I guess Santa left already. He kissed her head, and she laid it on his shoulder. Whew!
I guess she was just sleepy and kissed Santa by mistake.
I got back into bed because all of the sneaking around and worrying, got me really tired. I’m not going to tell on Mom. I hate to say this, but I kind of want Justin to stay. He helps my mom, and she doesn’t have to be so strong all the time. Maybe he’s a really weird looking angel?
Dear Diary:
December 25th
This morning I woke up to the smell of quiche and the pancake sausage corn dogs I like. Mom and Dad were working together in the kitchen when I peeked down. They were being gross again and hugging and making out. EW!
I jumped on Ellie’s bed ‘til she got up, and we went down and tore into our presents. Ellie got mostly gift cards in her stocking, but my dad got me Vae Vae Valdez tickets! And since he’s a rock star, he can take me backstage to meet her! At least he gives really good presents.
OMG . . . Maybe he is Santa!
Dear Diary:
December 26th
I asked my dad if he was Santa, he said maybe. Ellie told him what I saw and I started crying. I was really worried that he was going to leave my mom. He picked me up and hugged me. He said it was okay, that I didn’t need to cry because he was never going to leave.
Hey, Destiny’s Diary:
I swear I only accidentally read this page because I came in to check on you and you had fallen asleep at your desk writing. I want you to know that I love you and your sister so much. I can’t confirm or deny the existence of Santa Claus, or whether or not I am him, but I can say that your mom’s hand on my heart is the only thing that has helped me sleep through the terror at night. When I prayed to God about a soul mate, she is the balm that He sent to heal my broken soul. I know you think we’re gross, but I pray that one day you and your sister have someone whose kiss will make you cry, and then that someone will kiss away all your tears.
What I’m trying to say is, I would forgive her, even if she accidentally kissed Santa Claus.
-Love, Dad
About Nina Valdez
Nina Valdez is an Actress/Model/ and Mom from St. Louis, MO. At times, she dabbles in writing as well, but overall, one of her main goals in all of her efforts is to create Hopeful and inclusive art for women of all shapes, sizes, and colors.
You can find and follow her @ninavaldeznina pretty much everywhere.
The off-key sound of four young cubs voices ringing together echoed through the house, each throwing their own spin on a classic Christmas song while their mothers warmed the kitchen with baking.
“Why are we all such a misfit?
I am not just a nitwit!
I'm an adorable Fox…panther…lynx
Why don't we fit in?”
“That caterwauling has to stop,” Sterling grumbled.
Rea headed Sterling off as he marched toward the living room. “Let them enjoy themselves. I remember growing up, and this time of year is the only happy times I remember. I know their life isn’t like mine was, but these classics bring a sense of joy and happiness. Let them be kids.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and silenced his response with a searing kiss.
“Alright. For now, I’ll leave them. What are you two up to?”
“We’re making Christmas cookies, want to help?” Reana grabbed a potholder and took out the cookie sheet from the oven, replacing it with another full of dough ready to bake.
A cold breeze blasted them as the back door once again opened admitting more of the family. Jerome and Suzanne stomped their boots on the rug before removing them. Suzanne made the rounds hugging everyone. “Where are the cubs?”
“In the living room watching Rudolph,” Casey replied, kissing Jerome’s cheek in greeting.
“What is that horrible sound?” Mack cringed as he and Sterling came in the kitchen door.
“The children are watching Christmas cartoons and singing with the songs,” Casey answered as she raised her cheek for a kiss.
“They sound like they are dying.” Sterling grimaced.
“Oh give them a break; they are enjoying the classic fun of Christmas shows. Frosty, The Grinch, and currently, Rudolph.” Reana laughed.
“Oh for heaven’s sake, we need to introduce them to the real classics…like Die Hard. Now that’s a Christmas movie for the ages.” Mack laughed as he avoided the smack of Casey’s hand.
The singing increased in the living room, the out of tune voices welcome.
“Again? That’s the fourth time today!” Suzanne chuckled, moving into the living room. “Who has sugars for Meme?” Squeals answered her question.
Jerome smiled as he followed his nose to the finished cookies cooling on the counter. Casey smacked his hand away as he grabbed for one. “They haven’t been iced yet, Da. You’ll have to wait.”
“An Alpha never has to wait,” he harrumphed and grabbed for one again.
“If that Alpha wants to eat at all, he will.” Casey smacked his hand again.
Mack leaned against the counter enjoying the happiness that filled his heart. His mate, his cubs, his parents, and the rest of those he called family were all gathered for the holidays, enjoying some much-needed downtime. They had gathered at Sterling’s house this year, but Mack planned to have them all come down next year to experience Christmas on a different continent. For now, though, he would soak up all he could because he knew tomorrow could bring more troubles and dangers. Being shifters, as they were, there would always be fighting one enemy or another.
“What’s running through that head of yours, son?” Jerome handed off a confiscated cookie.
“Just trying to enjoy the day, Da. The quiet before the storm you could say.” Mack bit into the gooey chocolate chip cookie his father had handed him.
“As you should. We can’t predict what tomorrow brings, we can only enjoy the joy we find today.”
“Here here,” Sterling agreed, handing glasses of eggnog to everyone. “I agree with Jerome, let us enjoy the happiness we have today with each other and let it strengthen us for what may come in the future. Cheers and Merry Christmas, everyone.”
Everyone clinked glasses as the cubs ran in hugging their parents and grandparents and stealing a cookie or two from the counter. Jerome and Suzanne gazed on as their son and their closest friend enjoyed the happiness the Fates had provided them and prayed that more of their pack would soon find theirs.
About Miranda Lynn
Time Travel and Paranormal Romance author. Her Destiny series takes you on a roller coaster ride through time with sexy Highlanders and sassy female heroines. If shifters are your kryptonite then check out her Black Mountain Pack series which throws a twist on the traditional shifter lore.
Miranda is a mother to two teenage boys who are sure they know it all, a 75lb lapdog, and a 15lb foot warmer. She is thankful her husband doesn't mind the extra voices in her head.
Miranda is an only child who grew up on a dairy farm in Illinois which left her plenty of time to make up stories in her head for entertainment. She currently resides in Tennessee where she wonder if Mother Natu
re will ever stop with the hormonal mood swings. She fuels herself with coffee, chocolate, and wine.
Social Media Links –
Website – www.mirandalynn.com
Street Team – http://bit.ly/2o7urWU
Newsletter – http://bit.ly/2FJUcIJ
Other Books by Miranda Lynn
Fantasy:
Destiny Trilogy
Destiny Finds Her
Blair’s Destiny
Paranormal Romance:
Black Mountain Pack
Mack
Rook
Sterling
Jerome (novella)
Young Adult:
Portal Through the Veil
“What are you doing now, Mr. Holland?” Exasperation filled Ashley’s voice as she held groceries in her arm. Her ornery neighbor stood in her yard with the head of a decoration in his hand.
“Rudolph,” Olivia called in horror as she stood there.
Mr. Holland looked at the mangled reindeer in his hand. He scoffed and tossed it down next to the carcasses of other decorations. “I warned you. Stop putting up your stupid decorations.” With those words, he left.
“Come on, Olivia. Let’s get you inside. I’ll make some hot cocoa while I put away groceries.” Ashley put her hand on Olivia’s head as she ushered her into the house.
After getting Olivia settled down in front of the television, Ashley headed outside with large garbage bags. This wasn’t the first time that he’d torn up their decorations.
Ashley bent down picking up remnants of destroyed Christmas decorations. “Grinchy neighbor,” she muttered under her breath as she shoved piece after piece into the garbage bag.