by Anna Lowe
Well, let it. He didn’t need that particular organ any more.
He stood there a long time after Ty and Cody left, staring into emptiness. Then he walked back to the ranch, his step as slow as it had been fast and frantic on the way out. There was nothing to run back to. Just an empty cabin, his packmates, and an angry alpha. Not that the latter bothered him much. The fight against Ty had been a draw, but the confrontation with old Tyrone had been a clear win.
Respect. He’d won that, even if it was a small consolation for losing his mate. But life was what it was: cruel. Twisted. Unfair. He climbed the stairs to his porch and settled into his chair, feeling a thousand years older and none too wiser. Just emptier inside.
The aches in his body faded gradually, all but the one that mattered most.
* * *
Over the next two weeks, Zack fell back into his usual routine: doing odd jobs on the ranch by day, sitting on his porch at night, watching the stars arc slowly across the sky. Wondering if Rae was watching them too. The fact that there’d been a dearth of tracking assignments was just fine with him, because heading out to track would remind him too much of that magical night they had shared.
Spring was coming, even in the absence of Rae’s scent. Paintbrush erupted in startling orange-red. Desert marigolds waved from the ends of their stalks. Hummingbirds zipped merrily to and fro. But scenes that should have sung with promise and new beginnings only cried regret in his ears.
Days stumbled along, and nights dragged, over and over, right up to the night of the new moon. Rae would be out hunting, he figured, a swift shadow in the night. She was out there somewhere. He sat, hushed, wondering if he’d hear Mother Earth’s whisper if he tried hard enough.
He strained his ears until most of the night was gone, dreaming of his bike, the open road, and two tight arms around his waist. He dreamed it so desperately that when his chin fell on his chest, jerking him awake, the sound of a motorcycle engine still rumbled in his ears.
He creaked to his feet and turned for the screen door, resigning himself to another sleepless night. Then he paused at the threshold, because the engine noise was still there. Growing steadily louder, in fact, until he heard 750 familiar cc’s come up the drive. He braced both hands against the doorframe and tucked his chin, keeping his back to the road. If this was his imagination coming to torture him again, he wasn’t going to play along.
The engine purred right up to the porch and stood humming quietly for half a minute before the driver shut it off. Then it was only the crickets, the night owl, and his desperately fragile hope, dangling in the desert air.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Rae’s legs were shaky as she climbed the steps to Zack’s cabin, and it wasn’t due to the miles in her weary bones. The past weeks were a blur now: the mountains, the truck stops, the tears. Every bump in every mile of road had rattled through the handlebars, into her arms, and through her body until her teeth ached as much as her shoulders or back.
None of it held a candle to the ache in her heart, though, so she had driven on and on out of sheer determination—or stubborn stupidity. She’d driven past the barrens of Texas, past an ocean of bluegrass in Tennessee, and on to the tidewaters of Maryland until she saw the sun rise over the ocean. She’d nearly driven off the end of the rickety dock she’d stopped on, not caring what kind of end she’d meet. Because all those miles had taught her one thing: that the world was just as bleak and twice as lonely as it had been back in the desert.
She had checked in to a cheap motel and fell into a forty-eight-hour delirium of sleep, figuring it would do her good. But crawling out the other side of that tunnel was even harder, because where was the light?
There was no light, not without him.
She hated herself for even thinking it. She was supposed to be independent and strong, dammit. And Zack had set her up only to let her take a mighty fall.
Or had he?
He saved us, her wolf insisted. He loves us.
Love or lust? Do alphas even know the difference?
Her wolf growled. This one does. He fought for us.
She tried ignoring the flutter in her stomach. He fought so he could claim us. Make us his. Take our freedom.
The wolf raged at the suggestion. He let us go. He gave us this thing you call freedom. And what good is it?
Freedom is everything.
Freedom is alone.
Rae bowed her head to the truth. She didn’t like this new situation any better than her inner wolf did. But sooner or later, she told herself, she’d find a new pack. The right pack.
Her wolf whined. We found the right pack back at Twin Moon Ranch.
She pictured the high-altitude desert of central Arizona. The vast landscape—harsh yet beautiful at the same time. The tidy settlement, the friendly faces, and the meandering path to the cabin on the periphery. That’s where her thoughts led every time she let them wander. To a cabin, a porch, and a man.
An honest man, or a liar?
There was a fine line between trust and treason, that was for sure. But beyond that? She didn’t know whether to believe her mind or her heart.
She had considered the question for two pensive weeks, wandering to the shoreline each night, trying to find some shimmer of truth in the moonlight rippling over the waves. She’d tossed pebbles into the water and listened for the splashes. It wouldn’t be long before the next new moon, and then where would she be?
A shadow flitted overhead—an osprey soaring effortlessly. Wings outstretched, it leaned into a wide turn and circled around, honing in on its prey. Rae watched, glad to distract herself from her thoughts. The osprey caught an updraft, soared effortlessly upward, then wheeled. Looking. Waiting. Calculating.
A second shadow joined the first. The osprey’s mate? Rae’s eyes narrowed and blurred until she didn’t see a bird but a wolf, loping along in support of its mate.
Then the memories came back in a flood. The night of the pronghorn hunt had been magic—every moment of it. For the first time in her life, everything had clicked perfectly: the new moon, the prey, the place. The man at her side. Her lips curled into a smile just at the memory of it, but then fell into a frown, remembering what came next.
Joy.
Anger.
Betrayal.
The gutted expression on Zack’s face.
For the hundredth time, she replayed the memory of him tossing the keys in slow motion, giving her freedom. Why?
The first osprey dipped and curved, while the second remained watchful, high above.
If you love something, set it free.
There was a second part to that corny old line, she remembered.
If it loves you, it will come back. If it doesn’t…
Her heart skipped a beat, and she forced herself to rewind and picture it all over again: the mesa, the motorcycle, the man. One who faced up to his own shortcomings and took his punishment on the chin.
Was she woman enough to do the same?
Because Zack hadn’t betrayed her. Old Tyrone’s announcement that she was to mate with Ty had hit Zack as hard as it hit her. His gutted expressed had said as much, only she hadn’t been paying attention at the time. Zack hadn’t suspected what the pack alpha was planning. He wasn’t bringing her to mate with someone else. He’d just been bringing her home.
He loved her. And he’d risked everything for her—his life, his honor, his standing in the pack.
And what had she done for him?
Shame flooded her, and a moment later, resolve. Then she was on her feet, scrambling for the bike, fumbling with the key.
Drive slowly, the human part of her mind said. Be sure.
Her wolf snarled. I’m sure. Just get me back to my mate!
The closer she got, the faster she drove, desperate to fast-forward herself back into his arms. Zack—an imperfect man, but her perfect mate.
Sixty-plus hours and four brief stops later, she crossed the Arizona state line. Even then, it was another
couple of hours before she reached the dirt road branching off the highway and to the ranch. As she bumped over it, doubt spread in a heavy layer over her exhaustion. Would she even be allowed back on the ranch? She had defied the alpha and rejected his son. She had turned her back on Zack. Would he even forgive her? Would he want her?
The questions hounded her right up to the moment when she climbed the porch, her legs trembling from more than just road fatigue. But each step made her feel more and more certain, as if destiny was nodding her on.
She stepped to within a breath of Zack’s back and stood there, soaking in his scent.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Zack kept his back turned as the driver took a long time getting off that bike, and an even longer time climbing the three creaky steps to his porch. An eternity passed before Rae slipped slowly into his space, like he was a spooked colt liable to bolt at any minute. His skin tingled even before a warm hand eased his fingers open and pressed something thin and edgy inside.
A key. The key to his Harley.
“Thanks for the loan,” Rae said. She spoke like she’d just been down the road and back, but he caught the waver in her voice.
He talked toward the doorframe, forcing the words off his clunky tongue. “Planning on getting a new ride?”
The air moved as she shook her head, and the tip of her nose brushed his neck. She was that close, and boy, did that feel good.
“I’m planning on staying put, if I’m allowed.”
He exhaled, waiting for his heart to restart. Allowed? He’d make damn sure Rae never wanted to leave.
“Shouldn’t you be out hunting?” He tried to sound unaffected, but he could barely breathe.
She nodded into his back and snuck her arms around him just as she’d done on his bike, an eternity ago.
“Different kind of hunt tonight,” she whispered.
Th-thump, th-thump. So his heart did work, after all.
“What kind of hunt is that?”
A finger brushed against his cheek. “Man hunt.”
His fingers curled around hers. “You think he’s going to come willingly?
“I think he can be convinced.”
That’s when something in him cracked. He spun and pulled her tight, squeezing to make it clear he didn’t plan to ever let go.
“I’m sorry I left,” Rae croaked from where she was wrapped around his neck. Her arms clenched and reclenched to hug him from a dozen different angles.
He buried his nose in her hair, wondering if anything had ever felt this good. For once, someone was speeding into his life instead of speeding out.
“I’m sorry for everything else.”
She shook her head. “No more sorry.”
“No more goodbyes.”
“No more anything but this,” she agreed.
They hung on to each other like a couple of castaways still holding tight hours after being washed ashore. With every inhale, Zack felt stronger, surer. A feeling a man like Ty must have all the time—that he had a mountain at his back, and not an abyss. He had love. More than that, he had pure, unconditional love. Something Ty might never have, for all his unspoken privilege.
“Hey,” Rae whispered in his ear. “Listen.”
Zack hugged her closer instead of lifting his head, but even wrapped tightly in that spring-scented cloak she seemed to wear, he heard it. A whisper in the air, faint as filtered starlight from a thousand light-years away. A whisper that carried images, not words, forming a scene in his mind.
There was a little cabin, a crackling fireplace, and a bowl of untouched popcorn. A couple of carefree lovers settled back on a thick rug, their legs intertwined. A cabin very much like his, with a fresh paint job, a neat stack of firewood, and a bow leaning against one corner of the porch.
There, the image seemed to be saying. That is where you must go.
When Rae’s breath caught, he knew she saw it too.
“But we’re already here,” he murmured.
“There’s place,” she said, letting her lips stroll over his cheek, “And there’s time.”
He replayed the winter scene in his mind. Maybe they did need a little time to find their rhythm. With spring just breaking over the desert now, they were three seasons away from letting that scene play out in real time. Plenty of time to settle in together and to finish those projects on the house.
Rae smiled into his cheek, and her thoughts projected into his mind. Time to hunt.
To track, he added, with the coyote and wolf nodding along.
To love, Rae finished. To mate.
Epilogue
Three months & three new moons later…
Rae sat on the top step of the porch, gazing out over the desert as she waited for her mate to come home.
Home. She breathed it all in, from the tiniest speck of yellow flower to the banded hills that showcased millions of years of Mother Earth’s labor. A good place for a hunter, with miles to roam on new moon nights and a ranch to help operate in the weeks in between. All that with a man she could call her mate.
Her heart bubbled as it always did when Zack appeared around the bend, his tall frame silhouetted against the blaze of the setting sun. If only she could see his face. Would it be etched with worry or creased in a smile?
“So, how did it go?” she asked when her mate was three steps away.
He sighed and sat beside her, slinging an arm over her shoulders.
“It went.”
She wrapped her hand around his thigh and snuggled in close. His warmth poured into her, as it always did when they touched.
“Well, what did they say?”
Zack snorted. “Doesn’t matter what they said. What mattered was what I said.”
She could picture it perfectly—her man standing up to the leaders of two packs: old Tyrone of Twin Moon Ranch and Roric of Westend pack, who’d come over from Nevada to sort out what Tyrone called This mess.
Would have been nice to see that in person, her wolf grinned.
She shrugged the thought away. Much as she’d tried to work up the nerve to attend the meeting in the council house, she just didn’t have it in her. She needed her energy for tonight’s hunt, and spending it listening to a couple of old geezers blow steam wouldn’t help.
She shivered and tugged Zack’s arm tighter around her, thinking how close she’d come to another kind of life. If she had been Ty’s mate, she would have been in for a lifetime of meetings, obligations, and compromises. If she had have been forced to be Jed’s mate, she would have been in for a lifetime of abuse. Either way, a lifetime of regret.
“Hey,” Zack murmured. “You okay?”
She touched her forehead to his shoulder and breathed him in. “Yep. I’m okay.”
In truth, she was more than okay. A lifetime of love and hope stretched before her. She took several deep breaths, processing her luck.
“So what did you say?” she finally prompted.
“Well, first Roric ranted about broken contracts, pack alliances, and a lot of other nonsense.”
She could picture that. Easily.
“Until I told him you’re not a clause in a contract or a puppet in some game,” Zack said, his voice rasping just a bit.
Her wolf swelled with pride, all but purring over her fine choice in a mate.
“And what did he do?”
Zack snorted. “He shut up.”
Now that, she would have liked to see. “What about old Tyrone?”
He chuckled. “You should have seen Ty stand him down.”
“How? What did Ty say?”
Zack threaded his fingers through hers. “He didn’t say anything. He just stared and stared until the old man grumbled and looked away.”
That glare was easy to picture. A damn good thing she’d never been on the receiving end of it.
“And that was it?”
Zack nodded in satisfaction. “That was it.”
She ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. Her mate h
ad done her proud—again.
“Not like they could do anything about us now,” Zack chuckled, fingering the faint mark on her neck.
She tingled at his touch and the hot memories they stirred. That had been quite a night—their first full moon together. They’d run, played, then come back to the cabin and made love until the sun came up.
Oh, much longer than that, her wolf corrected with a lusty growl.
She blushed in spite of herself, remembering some of their antics. Somewhere along the line, round three had gone from warm and sweet to hot and hard. She could still see the glow in Zack’s eyes when he went down for the mating bite. She could still feel herself rising to meet it because she knew what kind of possessiveness it would bring. And she could still see the happy glaze in his eyes after she’d reciprocated. They were one now, mated for life.
Zack’s mind, though, must have still been on the meeting.
“Ty did good,” he murmured.
“You did good. Both of you. It’s high time those old alphas had someone stand up to them.”
A changing of the guard was long overdue. Someday, change might even come to Greer’s brutal regime at North Ridge pack.
In any case, change was coming to Twin Moon Ranch, her new home. With Ty stepping up to the plate and Zack there to support him, the future looked brighter than ever.
A corner of her heart squeezed and sighed. “Do you think Ty will ever find his mate?”
Zack considered the question long enough for Rae to sense his doubt. She’d heard what happened years ago—how Ty had nearly found then lost his mate. Even if his thick hide didn’t show it, the scars were there, and she doubted that any of the local girls had it in them to heal those wounds.
“Maybe she’ll find him.” Zack’s whisper carried into the night like a wish.
A wish Rae heartily seconded. All of her own were fulfilled, so it was time others got their due. Especially Ty, who had shown his integrity when it mattered most.