by J. N. Colon
A hot shiver spilled down my spine. Jackass knew exactly how to get to me.
He slid out of the booth, flashing me a smirk. And then he and Hannah walked out the door like two perfect warriors off to battle.
I slumped in the squeaky bench.
“Don’t worry about Hannah,” Kale said. “You’re Jayson’s soul mate. Not her.”
Kim bounced to our table again, her ebony braids swaying in her ponytail. “Can I get you guys anything to eat or drink?”
“I think we’re going to get something to go.” Emily glanced at Kale for confirmation, and he nodded. “I’ll take a bacon cheeseburger and fries.”
“I’ll take two of those, Kim.” Kale flashed her a crooked grin.
“Okay, great.” Her attention shifted to me. “Anything to go?”
I shook my head. “I’ll just take the check.”
“Jayson already paid it.” Kim wiggled her eyebrows before marching to the counter to put Emily and Kale’s order in.
That was unexpected—and nice of him.
Kale dramatically buffed his nails on his shirt. “I taught that boy well.”
Emily shot him a halfhearted glare. “I’m pretty sure Jayson figured that one out all on his own, Casanova.”
At least they were getting takeout, and I wouldn’t have to watch them flirt for the next hour.
“Seriously, Lena,” Emily began, turning to me. “Jayson doesn’t think of Hannah that way. Not at all.”
But Hannah could be secretly harboring intense feelings for him. Jessica had been crushing on Sebastian for years without his knowledge. And this whole soul link thing was still a big mystery. Jayson told me the bond wouldn’t change my feelings for him or make me like him romantically. It had to have some effect though. It was kind of forcing us together.
I leaned my chin in my hand. “Tell me about the bonds. Do most Nephilim find someone to tie their souls with?”
Emily shook her head. “They’re not for everyone.”
“Why bond at all?” I asked, running my finger along the condensation on my cup.
“Some do it for love.” Her blue eyes flickered to Kale, and he smiled. “We’re going to after graduation.”
“We’re only waiting because we want to be able to live together afterward.” Kale rested his arm over her shoulders and drew her closer. “It’s hell being apart now. I couldn’t imagine it after we were linked.”
“What happens to Nephilim when they bond?” I sipped my soda, the melting ice tinkling against the glass.
“We become stronger together.” Kale’s lips pursed as he thought. “We fight in sync. We would know if the other is in danger, and we’d always be able to find each other.” He planted a quick kiss on Emily’s cheek, spreading a light blush over her. “We can also borrow strength from the other, and being together would heal our injuries even faster.”
Emily absentmindedly played with a straw wrapper on the table. “In your case, Lena, you’ll get stronger, heal faster, and live longer.”
“So I’ll get all the benefits, and Jayson gets none.” He really got the crap end of the deal out of this bond. Plus, he always had to save my clumsy ass.
“No.” Emily shook her head, her flaxen waves falling in her face. “It’s not like that, and he definitely doesn’t see it that way.”
“I just don’t understand why Jayson did it. It seems like something only done out of love or to make you stronger. He gets none of that with me. And it’s permanent.” I realized why Kale was so shocked when Jayson told him what he intended on doing as I lay dying in the cemetery. One of the strongest Nephilim born from an archangel was tied to a weak little human.
“Jayson knew connecting your souls was the only way to save you.” Kale leaned forward, pinning me with his velvety brown eyes. “He cares for you. He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t. And it wasn’t because you’re the avis Nithael described. That was just an excuse.”
I choked on images of Hannah and Jayson together. They would have made a deadly Nephilim team. “This whole thing is so confusing.” I wanted to believe him. When I thought back to the time before Jayson bound us, I could see some truth lingering in Kale’s words. Jayson did come to my rescue even before our souls were tied.
My shoulders tightened. I hated that I made him weaker. And I did. I was a liability.
“What would happen if I died?” I should have said when because it was inevitable.
The two Nephilim across from me traded glances. I didn’t like the way they avoided my stare.
“It doesn’t always happen.” Kale chewed on his bottom lip, hesitating. “But if one dies, the other does as well.”
A knife was stuck into my chest, blood oozing from the mortal wound. Astaroth’s hand was curled around the ornate hilt, his crimson eyes burning into mine.
He was killing me.
Jayson had dropped his sword moments away from chopping the Fallen’s head off. The Nephilim crashed to his knees. Blood spilled down his chest from the same spot as mine.
My gut twisted. Oh, God. He was dying. Because of me.
He bound himself to a weak human, one who was the target of a psychotic fallen angel. Now I was dying, and it was killing my soul mate.
Hot tears spilled down my icy cheeks as I watched the gold fade from his hazel eyes. “I’m sorry, Jayson,” I choked. “I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt. It’s all my fault.”
A tall, curvy figure in leather appeared next to him. “It is your fault.” Hannah’s red hair streamed behind her like the blood pouring from mine and Jayson’s matching wounds. “You may as well have stabbed him yourself.”
Tears blurred their shapes. She was right.
Her hand laid on his shoulder. “I never would have let Jayson die. He would have been safe with me.”
Pain sliced through my chest, but it wasn’t from the death blow.
“Don’t cry, little bird,” Astaroth murmured, gently stroking my cheek as if he hadn’t just killed me. “It’s only a nightmare.”
My lips quivered. “Get away from me.” I found Jayson again. This time he was cradled in Hannah’s arms, looking up at her lovingly while she ran her fingers through his hair.
“No more tears,” Astaroth said. “Wake up, little bird. Wake up.”
My lids opened to a darkened room. My heart tapped out an angry beat. Tears moistened my face. I wiped them away and struggled into a sitting position. Sharp pangs sliced at my chest.
It had only been a nightmare.
But it could become a reality. If I died, there was a good chance Jayson would too.
As I shifted, something fluttered in my lap. Ice spilled through my veins as I plucked the small, ebony feather, twirling it between my fingers.
Had Astaroth been in my room while I slept?
I glanced around my gray walls, expecting to see him perched in a corner. No one was there.
My lips thinned, and I tossed the feather in the wastebasket. Why did Astaroth think he had a right to slip into my room whenever he wanted?
I reached over and grabbed the cup from my bedside table, downing a gulp. I needed more than bland, tasteless water. A candy bar teetered on the edge of my dresser. The medicine that cured all my ailments.
I scrambled out of bed, tripping on the sheets. I shook my head. My clumsiness never ceased to prevail. I snatched the bar and began tearing open the wrapper. Something caught my attention, and my fingers halted. The light in Jayson’s room glowed through the windows.
My brow arched. It was after midnight. Was he just getting home?
A figure came into view, and my heart took a swan dive to my feet. Hannah walked in front of the glass pane—her hair wet and her body barely covered by a towel.
What. The. Frack?
Had she taken a shower at Jayson’s? Why?
The door to his bathroom opened, and a cloud of steam drifted out as Jayson emerged. His dirty blond hair was slicked back with water, and a white towel hung low on his hips
.
Effing hell.
Chapter 12
The candy bar fell from my fingertips, hitting the floor with a dull thud. I could hardly breathe, like trying to suck air through a tiny straw. Tears blurred my vision, turning the scantily clad Nephilim couple blurry.
Had Kale only been covering for his best friend at Jimmie’s earlier tonight? Did he know he and Hannah were hooking up?
I choked back the sobs. Had someone punched me in the gut? Because it seriously felt like it.
Jayson’s head whipped in my direction, his eyes widening. He could see me with his freaky angel powers, but he didn’t need to. He could feel the pain and betrayal searing through my body.
And that made my humiliation ten times worse.
I flicked the lock on both windows and marched back to my bed, collapsing on it. I was the biggest fool in the entire universe. I was talking Heaven, Hell, and Earth. I’d fallen for the jerkface Neanderthal when he only saw me as part of his job. In reality, he wanted Hannah, the powerful badass demon-hunting half-angel. Not me, the clumsy, sarcastic, short, human.
Jayson wouldn’t have anything to do with me if it weren’t for this stupid tie between us.
My ringtone screamed across the room. I grabbed my phone and turned it off. I didn’t even want to hear his voice. I couldn’t stomach it. How could I face Jayson tomorrow?
My boots squeaked on the tile as I skidded to a stop in the doorway to Theology. Son of a biscuit. I’d manage to avoid Jayson all day. We didn’t have Spanish, and I hid out in the library during lunch. If I had to see him and Strawberry Longlegs in the same vicinity, I’d hurl.
I should have known he’d be seated directly behind me in class. I considered sitting somewhere else, but Jessica was already there, gnawing anxiously on her lip. She knew something was up.
I swallowed back the acid crawling up my throat and trudged to my desk. At least I made it without tripping. “Hey, Jess,” I mumbled.
She turned around and opened her mouth but pulled up short.
“Lena, we need to talk.” Jayson’s rough voice swirled around me.
My nostrils flared. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
A growl rumbled through his chest. “Yes, there is. Whatever you think you saw, you’re wrong.”
My chest tightened, and I choked back the tears threatening to slip free. I couldn’t get the image of him and Hannah in towels out of my head. Nightmares of them in bed together played on a loop in my mind, invading my sleep. I woke up more tired than when I fell asleep.
Jayson leaned forward, his warm breath dusting my nape. “Nothing happened between us. Nothing ever has.”
That sure as hell didn’t look like nothing.
I shrugged. “Whatever. You can do what you want.” Clearly, he wanted to roll around in the sheets with the redheaded harpy.
“What I want is for you to let me explain.”
I whipped around, pinning him with a hard stare. “Explain it then.”
Jayson’s head snapped back. He wasn’t expecting to get the brunt of my anger. He saw it and felt it. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “We ran into a swarm of demons at the gate. We were both covered in demon blood. Hannah couldn’t go home like that. Her parents—parents that have no idea she’s a Nephilim—would have freaked out.”
My lips thinned. It seemed totally plausible and reasonable. But I didn’t get why they both had to walk around in his room nearly naked together. Couldn’t she have used the hall bathroom?
It still hurt. Everything hurt. Hannah had this whole relationship with him and had experienced things with him I never would. They shared a connection I could never touch. She was a warrior. And I was a lame damsel in distress with a habit of letting my curiosity get the better of me.
“Whatever,” I muttered. “It’s not like we’re together or anything.” I spun around and slumped in my seat. “You linked our souls to save my life. That doesn’t make us a couple. You don’t have to explain anything.”
Mr. Jensen closed the door behind him and greeted the class.
“Lena, don’t say things you don’t mean,” Jayson hissed.
I crossed my arms against my chest as if to protect my heart. Jayson hurt me. I didn’t realize how deep my feelings ran until I saw him with someone else. It had ripped a hole right through me, one that was still bleeding.
I reached for my car handle just as a massive hand planted on the door, keeping me from opening it. That warm tingle zipped down my spine while his salty ocean scent swirled through my senses.
I cursed even as my knees weakened. “What do you want?”
“You can’t avoid me forever, Angel Eyes.” His voice rumbled through my back.
I spun around and found myself trapped between his thick arms. His body engulfed mine. He wasn’t even touching me. He didn’t need to. “Says who?”
Jayson’s gaze slowly lingered, drinking me in as if he hadn’t seen me in days. He shifted closer, shooting heat across my body despite the cold weather. “Says me.” His rough whisper did things to me that shouldn’t be possible.
I sucked in a ragged breath, but it was filled with his dizzying scent. “How many times do I have to tell you to get a handle on your Neanderthal tendencies? You must have trouble remembering that with your tiny brain.”
A dangerous smile curled his mouth. “I thought you liked those tendencies.” He leaned forward, gold popping in his hazel irises.
All the moisture zapped from my mouth. I’d have to down an entire Slurpee just to swallow. This guy could irritate me and make me blush at the same time.
And then images of Strawberry Longlegs prancing around his room in a towel floated up. My stomach soured. “That was before I remembered what an asshat you are. Where’s Hannah? I’m sure she’ll appreciate your tendencies more than me.”
He backed up, his smile fading. “Lena, I told you nothing happened.”
“I don’t care.” I pressed my hand on his chest to push him away. He didn’t budge.
“Yes, you do.” His fingers tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “I’d be just as pissed if I thought something happened with you and another guy.”
My heart gave a frantic thump. I was finding it harder and harder to remain mad at him. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding.
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” He leaned forward, his lips brushing my cheek. “I’ll see you tonight at dinner.”
“Huh?” It took a moment for his words to sink in. I was too preoccupied with his mouth hovering way too close to mine. “What dinner?”
Jayson shifted back an inch, a dark glint flashing in his eyes. “Max invited you and your dad over tonight.”
“I’ll skip it.” I wasn’t quite ready to suck up my pride.
“You don’t want to hurt my uncle’s feelings, do you?” Jayson’s fingers ran along my cheek, leaving a line of heat in their wake. “He’s already got a special dessert for you.”
My jaw dropped. This tool knew just how to play me.
I shoved him away. “I’ll be there, but you’ll have to deal with my attitude the whole time, Casteel.”
“I’m used to your attitude.” Some of the humor evaporated from his smile. “At least you’ll be there.”
Chapter 13
I pushed the green beans around my plate, the tension between Jayson and me palpable. My dad seemed to be the only one who didn’t notice. He was too busy devouring the massive steak in front of him and discussing sports with Max. Jayson sat across from me, his foot brushing mine every couple of minutes. From the smirk he was fighting, the little touches were definitely on purpose. He really wanted to piss me off.
I was surprised his shadow Hannah wasn’t with him, digging her nails into his thick bicep. If she’d been here, I would have turned right around and left, my dad’s anger be damned. I could barely sit here with the Neanderthal. Add his friend to the mix, and I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes.
Jayson and I nee
ded to figure out where we stood. I didn’t want to be one of those girls that wanted to define everything in our relationship, but I was drowning in confusion. We’d kissed a handful of times and had some seriously steamy moments. Oh, yeah, and we were soul mates.
“Did you see that game last night, Max?” My dad asked, his eyes glued to his plate, mesmerized by the hunk of meat.
Max set his beer on the oak table. “So kickass. That touchdown with only ten seconds to go was worth the slow-moving first half.”
“Oh, yeah. It was clutch.”
Oh my gawd. Did James Raven seriously just say clutch?
Jayson chuckled under his breath at my screwed-up expression.
“What about you, kid?” My dad motioned his fork toward Jayson. “You play any ball at school?”
I snorted, picturing Jayson hanging with the football team. He couldn’t stand Austin.
He shot me a narrowed glare before speaking to my dad. “It’s not really my thing, sir.”
His thing was lugging a sword around, killing demons. And irritating me.
“It’s a shame. You look like you could do some damage on the field.” A twinkle of nostalgia began to seep into my dad’s butterscotch irises.
Jayson’s mouth twisted into a feral smile. “I can definitely do some damage.”
True.
Max lightly punched his nephew’s meaty shoulder. “Those kids are safer with this one off the field. He’d demolish them.”
“I was on my football team in high school. State champs three years in a row.” My dad pumped his fist in the air. His trophies were already collecting dust on the shelves in our new garage.
I gave a dramatic eye roll. “Please don’t start reliving your glory days in front of people.”
“I was the top of the food chain back then.” He rubbed my head, messing up my hair. “I met your mother in high school.”
Max’s brows lifted. “Was she a cheerleader?”
My dad snorted. “God, no. Vanessa was a hippy. She taught me how to twist my first joint.”