Thank you to Amy Williams, who always makes me laugh while also wearing so many hats: agent, big sister, mother, friend, fellow traveler. I’m so blessed to have you on my team.
This book would not exist without the oceans of love and support from Lidia Yuknavitch and her Corporeal Writing program. The writers whose understanding of story and body changed the course of this book and my life include these midwives: Mary Mandeville, Tanya Friedman, Lois Melina Ruskai, Anne Gudger, Jane Gregorie, Anne Falkowski, Emily Falkowski, Kristin Costello, Helena Rho, and Amanda Niehaus. Special heart shout-out to Zinn Adeline, who gently contributed her careful reads and incisive comments, especially the one about how my jokes were distracting from the real story.
Thank you to Tin House for pairing me with the generous and talented Jeannie Vanasco in Winter 2019. And special thanks to my workshop mates: Wayne Scott, Sasha Watson, Melissa Duclos, and Kristine Langley Mahler.
To my favorite soul sister who inspires me every single day as a writer, mother, daughter, wife, podcast creator, lawyer, and all-around baller: Carinn Jade.
Way back in the day, I started writing online with a group of mad-capped writers who taught me about voice, hooks, arcs, and aspects of the craft that I felt in my bones but had been too scared to practice. Thanks to the Yeah Write crew: Erica Hoskins Mullinex, William Dameron, Mary Laura Philpot, and Flood. Thanks to my early writing groups who had to slog through some pretty tortured drafts: Sara Lind, Samantha Hoffman, and Mary Nelligan.
Gratitude is not a debt, but I can’t help but feel like I owe so much to the writers and friends who read drafts of this book, some of them more than once: Krista Booth, Amy Liszt, Andrew Neltner. You’re saints, you really are. Joyce Polance read multiple drafts and was always game for a conversation about the pain and ecstasy of trying to get a story right. This book wouldn’t exist without her generosity, support, and wisdom. Frank Polance is pretty swell too.
I’m grateful to all the babysitters we had through the years whose labor made it possible for me to write this book. Thank you to Sabrina, Tiffani, Christian, Brittney, Molly, Hailey, Mattie, Kathi, Dayane, and Gesa.
Thank you to Irvin Yalom, whose life work make it possible for a woman like me to get help in group therapy and then tell the world about it.
Special thanks to Marcia Nickow, Psy.D., who read an early draft and urged me to keep going. Sara Connell’s commitment to and belief in the power of writing brought immense pleasure and joy to the final stages of this project. Eternal gratitude to Dr. Dana Edelson for taking time off from saving people’s lives to help me proofread this book.
I’m pretty sure my therapist knows I’m grateful, but I’ll say it again: I gave you enough money over the years to buy a deluxe yacht, but you gave me an entire life, so I guess we’re even.
My group mates have put up with so much shit from me all these years. I love them with my whole heart. Special shout outs to my favorites: R.S., T.L., C.C., D.E., J.T., S.M., K.S., M.N., J.S., K.B.B., J.P., C.G., A.R., B.A., S.M., S.N., and S.K. And to M.C., who is no longer with us but whose loving wisdom continues to guide and comfort me.
I’m grateful to every person who shares their recovery stories both inside and outside meetings. They mean everything to me. I’m forever grateful to Dax Shepard for his commitment to honesty and truth-telling about addiction and alcoholism several times a week on his podcast Armchair Expert.
When my parents heard about this book, they said the words that every writer hopes their parents will say: “It’s your story. You have the right to tell it however you want.” I’m grateful for their years of support and all the gifts they’ve given to me.
To Doug and Alex Tate for their support and enthusiasm, which I hope never to take for granted. I’m glad you are my family.
Thank you to Leslie Darling, Michael Lach, Keme and Jamail Carter, Thea Goodman, Marc Dubin, Caroline Chambers, Betty Seid, Maria Tamari, Davey Baby, Carol Ellis, Karen Yates, Steve and Celia Ellis, and The Writing by Writers Program.
My kids are going to be mortified if they ever read this book. No one wants to read about their mother’s sex life. The good news is that I’ve given them ample material for their own therapy sessions. I thank them for making me a mother. To be present and to love and be loved by them are the reasons why I stay in recovery and continue in therapy.
Lastly, to my main man who has more patience and know-how than anyone I know. Thank you for loving me and for championing my storytelling and my voice. I feel so lucky every single day. Everyone who goes into therapy in hopes of finding a relationship is dreaming of someone as bighearted and steady as you are. Thank you for being part of the ending of this book and the center of my happiest days.
More in Personal Memoirs
The Glass Castle
Shoe Dog
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
Year of Yes
An Invisible Thread
Primates of Park Avenue
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Christie Tate is a Chicago-based writer and essayist. She has been published in the New York Times (Modern Love), the Rumpus, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Eastern Iowa Review, and elsewhere. Kiese Laymon selected her essay “Promised Lands” as the winner of the New Ohio Review’s nonfiction contest, which was published in fall 2019.
@ChristieOTate
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First Avid Reader Press hardcover edition October 2020
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.
ISBN 978-1-9821-5461-5
ISBN 978-1-9821-5463-9 (ebook)
Group Page 28