Thinking of Zoe

by Daria White

  Noelle giggled. “That was funny, but she wins every year so I think she can let him have one.”

  Zoe gave a slight smile.

  “I see you’re getting along better with Alex.”

  “It’s nothing.” Zoe’s hairs raised on the back of her neck.

  Noelle nodded. “Sounds like me.”

  Zoe tilted her head to the side. “You and Tommy are happy, right?”

  Noelle nodded. “We are now that I stopped fighting what I was feeling. He was there for me, anyway. Even after my...” She released a cleansing breath. “My grandfather passed.” She fanned her eyes. “I’m sorry. It still stings.”

  Zoe touched her arm. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  Noelle rolled her shoulders back. “Thank you. I only meant that once I let my guard down, we could create something special.”

  “Tommy’s not a player.” Zoe covered her mouth as soon as the words left her lips. “I didn’t mean to say—”

  “I don’t blame you. Alex can be... friendly.”

  “That’s a nice way of putting it.”

  “I guess I’ve gotten to know him better since I’ve been traveling with the band. I think... he hasn’t met the right woman yet.”

  Zoe shrugged, directing her attention to the posters on the front windows, sporting the current fashions. Her eyes focused outside the large window. A familiar stroller caught her eye. Then her eyes diverted to the person pushing baby Celine. Not her mother, but Alex.

  He bent over and handed Celine her teddy bear. She must have dropped it, or in her case, thrown it on the sidewalk. Zoe had to pick it up the few times she’d taken the baby for a stroll around the park.

  Zoe’s heartstrings tugged. He was such a different man when he was around his baby cousin. Why wouldn’t he be? It didn’t mean he would be different with Zoe.

  At that moment, his eyes met Zoe’s through the glass window. He waved, but his face appeared slackened. It wasn’t the usual smile he greeted her with. It was the look of disappointment.

  Why? He could have any woman he wanted. Why would Alex waste his time with her? Zoe’s chest heaved.

  “Or...” Noelle said behind her. “He has met the right woman.”

  Zoe gasped and blinked at her words. Alex didn’t stick around much longer. He nodded and walked away, pushing the baby stroller.

  ***

  Alex grabbed a soda from the small refrigerator on the tour bus. Their driver, Cooper, was ready to go. Tommy and Noelle had arrived ten minutes after him. Jackson and Bailey were left to show up.

  Clutching his soda can, Alex gulped more of the fizzy liquid. It did nothing for the pit he felt in his stomach. He spotted Tommy and Noelle having a private conversation, noticing the couple embracing. Alex couldn’t look at them.

  He walked a few steps away from the bus, wandering the parking lot. He checked the time on his cell phone. He told his dad he would call before he left. Might as well keep his word now.

  “Left yet?” his father asked.

  “In a few. Jackson and Bailey are on their way.” He rolled his shoulders back and rubbed at his eyes. Why did Zoe’s words haunt him in his sleep? A man like him playing with her emotions. What made things worse, Alex knew the words were true.

  He hadn’t been genuine in a long time. Why should he? The women he’d dealt with were like parasites. They only wanted to take from him. With Zoe, he didn’t get that vibe. She... what was she to him? Alex couldn’t shake it.

  “Son?”

  Alex cleared his throat. “I’m here. Sorry about that.”

  “Some woman on your mind?” his father asked.

  Alex choked on his soda. “What?”

  “I know woman trouble when I hear it.”

  “No point. She wants nothing to do with me,” Alex said. Why did the thought make his heart feel as if it were shrinking?

  “Does she have a reason for that?”

  “Dad?”

  “The last time I met one of your girlfriends was... what was her name? Started with an L, I think.”

  “Don’t.”

  “Still stings, huh?”

  Alex didn’t respond. He only crushed his empty can in his hand.

  His father sighed. “I get it, son. I’ve been there, but you can’t let that rule your life. I’ve wasted too many years keeping myself locked away. I have an opportunity for something real. I only hope you won’t miss yours.”

  Heaviness took over Alex’s body. It wouldn’t work. Zoe was right. He would only hurt her. She deserved someone who genuinely cared about her. All he wanted was a date—or two. It wouldn’t be enough for her.

  Alex raised an eyebrow. Would a date be enough for him? “I’ll call you when we make our first major stop.”

  “I’ll pick up unless I’m on a date.” His father chuckled.

  “Dad, be careful. Please. I don’t want to see—”

  “I know, but I can take care of myself. You take care. Have fun. Be great.”

  His father hung up. Alex stuffed his phone back in his pocket, just as a familiar Chevrolet Sonic pulled into the parking lot. Zoe. What was she doing here?

  He tossed his soda can into a nearby garbage can. He then walked over, noticing Jackson and Bailey retrieving their bags. Alex nodded at Zoe. She gave a slight smile.

  “You guys need help?” he asked his band mates.

  Bailey shook her head, adjusting her purse on her shoulder. “I think I got it.”

  Jackson eyeballed him, moving his gaze between Alex and Zoe. “Thanks. I got the rest.” He followed his fiancé to the bus. Zoe closed her trunk.

  Alex sighed. “Seeing them off?”

  She nodded. “Excited for the tour?”

  Small talk. That’s what they’d been reduced to. Alex hated it. It made his stomach burn. “Yeah, I am. How’s school?”

  “Going well. I have a full week of homework already. Some assignments are due next week.” Zoe focused her eyes on the bus behind him. “Will there be enough room for everyone?”

  “We’ve made it work before,” he said. Silence passed between them and he watched Zoe wring her hands together.

  She bit at her bottom lip. “About... the last time we talked.”

  He’d rather forget it. “Don’t worry about it. You were right.”

  She dropped her head for a moment, but then her eyes met his. “I’m sorry. It’s just—”

  “No need to apologize.”

  “Let me finish, please.”

  He nodded, folding his arms over his chest.

  “You seem like an amazing guy. I just think we want different things.”

  Alex watched her eyes gloss over. Her lips parted and all he wanted to do was kiss her. This wasn’t supposed to happen. In the past, he would cut his losses and move on. Not with Zoe.

  The more she talked, the mild pain in his chest increased. His fingers ached to touch her. He’d been so close the night at his cousin’s home, inhaling Zoe’s sweet floral perfume. Her curls had been soft, tickling his nose as he pressed his forehead against the back of her head.

  His eyes focused on her. Zoe licked her lips, frequently touching her hair and brushing her curls behind her shoulders.

  “I don’t think so,” Alex said.

  “Don’t think what?”

  “That we want different things.” Would he take his father’s advice?

  “How do you know?” she asked.

  He inched closer. “I don’t know, but I say we figure it out.”

  “Alright, sis.” Jackson said, interrupting the moment. “We’re leaving.”

  Zoe forced a smile as the rest of the group exited the bus. Jackson hugged her first. He avoided eye contact with Alex. He knew Jackson didn’t approve, but that didn’t change how he felt about Zoe.

  The rest of the band hugged her, waving goodbye as they climbed the steps back inside the bus. Alex took the opportunity with Zoe when he saw Jackson’s attention move to Bailey. His future wife whispered something in his ear.
>
  “Things will be different when I get back,” Alex said.

  Zoe’s eyes widened. “What?” Her voice was only a whisper. “Alex, I... I don’t... my brother...”

  “If you don’t want me to say anything, I won’t.” He focused his gaze on her. “I’m coming back for you.”

  Zoe’s lips parted once more. Alex would do everything in his power to make certain she believed him. He was coming back for her, and he didn’t care what her brother thought.

  He wouldn’t hurt Zoe. Not for anything in this world. Whatever was going on between them wouldn’t let either of them go. Her words the other night did more than bruise his ego. She challenged him. It was as if he saw himself in her eyes and Alex didn’t like the reflection. Change would be hard, but if it meant winning Zoe, he’d do it.

  Alex walked to the bus, and Jackson met him at the door. “You okay?”

  “When we get on the road, it’s strictly about the band,” Jackson said.

  “I agree.”

  They wouldn’t discuss his sister, but Alex didn’t need for Jackson to say what he was probably thinking. He needed to stay away from Zoe.

  Alex sighed. It was too late. He couldn’t walk away if he tried.

  Chapter 12

  Zoe’s hands fidgeted. She stared at her keyboard, with only a few words left to post her discussion for the week for class. The keys tapped underneath her fingers. She clicked the post button. Done.

  Alex. All she saw was him. Were they still on the road? Was he nervous about the band’s performance? Zoe shut her laptop, stood to her feet, and paced the floor of her apartment. She breathed. He wouldn’t call.

  She stared at her cell on the coffee table. Her gut twisted. She unbuttoned the top button of her emerald green shirt. Thank goodness she had the night off. No one else needed to see her this way. Her emotions wrapped in a man.

  Zoe plopped on her couch. She noticed the look in his eyes this morning. His steady eye contact. His bright eyes. His tone soft when he spoke to her. Zoe folded her arms. Was it only for her?

  Her phone rattled on her coffee table, making her shriek. Alex’s name showed on screen. He kept his word. Was that a sign?

  “Not too late is it?” he asked.

  Zoe played with the loose curls that had escaped from her messy bun. “No. I just finished an assignment. How did the show go?”

  He chuckled, and she could picture his smile. “It went great. We blew it out of the water!”

  Zoe giggled. Then she heard the faint sound of an engine. “You’re back on the road already?”

  “That’s how it works. We have another gig tomorrow night.”

  “I can’t imagine. Is it wearing on you yet?”

  “We haven’t been touring that long. Maybe in a few years once we got a few awards under our belt.”

  “Did you always want to be a drummer?” she asked, reclining on her gray sofa. She adjusted some of the decorative pillows against her back. Why was it easy to talk to him?

  “Not always.” He cleared his throat. “Can I be honest?”

  “Sure.”

  “I wasn’t popular in school. I was the...”

  “Nerd? Geek?”

  He laughed. “I think people would call that offensive today, but yes. I took advanced placement classes, mostly.”

  “Smart guy,” she said. Was she grinning? Zoe shook it off. “When did the drums come along?”

  “I’ve been playing since I was three or four but I didn’t take it seriously until middle school. I tried out for the school band, and things skyrocketed from there. Next thing I know, Tommy’s introducing me to your brother.”

  Zoe swallowed. Was Jackson in earshot of Alex? Did he know he was talking to her? She ignored her quivering insides. She could make her own decisions. She focused on their conversation. “And playing the drums changed how people saw you.”

  “Especially the ladies. I went from geek to bad boy overnight. I’ll admit. I liked the attention.”

  “Has much changed since then?” Why did she ask that? It didn’t. Alex was only talking to her because she was the one who had his attention. As soon as something better came along, he would leave. Zoe ran a hand down her face. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “I know my past isn’t perfect, Zoe.” Alex sighed. “I don’t know what you think of me, but I want you to know that I...”

  “You what?” She sat up on the sofa.

  “I meant what I said at Lisa’s place. I want to get to know you. Date you. You’re what I want.”

  “For now?”

  “Zoe, don’t assume the worst. I know nowadays most men string women along with no destination in sight. I’ve been that guy, but that was until... you. I think you’re amazing.”

  She fell silent. He sounded sincere. He couldn’t have been lying.

  “Zoe?”

  Her heart rate quickened. Dr. Burns’ words flooded her mind. Should she give Alex a chance? “I’m not what you think I am.”

  “What?” he sounded confused.

  “I moved to Bridge Point, Alex, to start fresh. I was... reckless at one time in my life. I made some terrible choices. Between Jackson and my parents, I don’t think they trust me. I don’t blame them.” She heard a rustling noise. “Alex?”

  “I’m here. Just sitting up on this couch. Go on.”

  She blew out her cheeks. “I dated this one guy in college. We were wrong for each other, but I didn’t think that then. I was in love and refused to listen to my parents. We went partying one night and had too much to drink. I ended up driving us back to campus, but... we got into a wreck. I had a few scratches, but he was... paralyzed from the waist down.”

  “Wow,” Alex said, as if her story took him by surprise.

  “I’ve blamed myself ever since. He hated me for it.” Her voice broke, and she wiped a tear from her face. “I don’t want...”

  “You think we’ll be a mistake?” he asked.

  Her words must have crushed him. “Please try to understand, Alex.”

  “I do,” he said. He was quiet for a moment. “I guess I thought the same thing.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. She sniffled. “You did?”

  “My Mom leaving damaged me, Zoe.” He paused but continued. “It broke my Dad. I haven’t seen her since, but between that and my high school girlfriend leaving me for someone else, I kept my relationships... shallow.” A mirthless laugh escaped his lips. “I’ve never told anyone that. It’s been a while since I... talked to a woman like this.”

  She gave a slight smile. “Why are you telling me?”

  “I think deep down, I know it’ll be different with you. Thank you for sharing with me.”

  Zoe pressed a palm to her cheek. “You’re welcome. Thank you for telling me.” She swallowed. “Alex?”

  “Yeah?”

  “If we do this, can we keep it between us for now?”

  “I’m not lying to your brother, Zoe,” he said.

  “I don’t want you to, but I need to be the one to tell him. Please?”

  “Is that what you want?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay. I won’t say a word, but if anyone asks, I’m not lying, Zoe. I won’t lie about how I feel about you.”

  “I won’t either.”

  “Won’t what?”

  “You’re going to make me say it?” she asked, a grin taking over her face.

  “I think it’s fair since we both poured our hearts out.”

  She rubbed at her shoulder. “I like you, Alex.”

  “I like you too, Zoe.”

  ***

  Fans screamed and yelled at Alex’s drum solo. They debuted their latest song, “Now that You’re Here.” The crowd sung along as Bailey waved her hands in the air, standing in front of the mic stand. They sang at the top of their lungs.

  An expanded feeling in his chest took over once the music kicked back in with Jackson’s keyboard and Tommy’s guitar. Alex gave everything he had in tonight’s perfor
mance. He hit the last beat, and the cheers only amplified.

  He grabbed a towel and wiped his face. Grabbing a bottle of water, he gulped the liquid. He descended the stage as Bailey and Jackson said their last goodbye. Alex returned to his dressing room backstage.

  He looked in the mirror. His shirt soaked with sweat, so he grabbed another from his duffel bag. He had a few minutes, so he called Zoe.

  “How was the show?” she asked.

  His heart perked up. “Amazing. How are you?” He sat on the couch.

  “I’m okay. Celine’s asleep.”

  “Tell me your favorite food,” he said.

  She giggled. “What?”

  “What’s your favorite food?”

  “Italian food. Why?”

  “That’s where we’re going when I get back.”

  “You’re asking me out officially?” she asked.

  He wouldn’t let her get away. “Zoe Mills, will you go out with me? Only me.” Alex couldn’t believe his own ears.

  “Only if you mean it,” she said.

  He meant it alright. “I do, and you’ll know how much.”

  “You don’t have to prove anything to me, Alex.”

  “I know, but I don’t want you questioning either. I’m not seeing anyone else but you, Zoe.” Did she detect the seriousness in his tone?

  “I believe you.”

  “Good.” A knock sounded at his door. “Give me one second.”

  “Okay,” Zoe said.

  Alex opened his dressing room door, only to be met by Tabitha. His eyes bulged and his breath caught in his throat. Tabitha’s form fitting plum dress hugged every curve of her hour glass body. She pulled her black hair to drape over her shoulder and her brown skin was flawless. The woman was stunning, but Alex didn’t invite her inside.

  “You looked surprised to see me,” she said.

  “I am.” He swallowed. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  “I thought we could talk. Besides, you did say I was always welcome at your shows.” She reached for him, but Alex pulled away. “Is that how it is now?”

  “Tabitha, I already told you. I said that when we were dating. Things are different now. I think you need to leave.” He didn’t want to hurt her, but he’d rather talk to Zoe.