Guests and Guilt

by Diana Xarissa

Fenella smiled at the hyperbole. The pair had only met six hours earlier. “Hello,” she said.

  “Okay, I’ve done this all wrong,” Stephanie laughed. “Let me introduce everyone properly. James and Fenella, this is Annie,” she said, waving at one of the women.

  Annie took a step forward and then bowed. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you both,” she said.

  Fenella’s initial thought was that Annie looked a good deal older than Stephanie. Even though the woman was wearing a thick layer of makeup, there was no doubt in Fenella’s mind that Annie was over forty. Her dress was a bit tight in spots, as if Annie had gained ten or fifteen pounds since she’d bought it. Her short hair was streaked with grey, and Fenella thought she looked tired.

  “This is Maureen,” Stephanie continued.

  Maureen giggled and then waved at everyone. “Hello, hello,” she said.

  Again, Fenella was certain the woman was over forty. Her dress seemed too large for her very slender frame and Fenella wondered if Maureen had been ill. The fact that her dark brown hair looked like a wig made Fenella even more concerned about the other woman’s health.

  “And this is Courtney,” Stephanie conclude.

  Courtney took a step forward and then threw her arms up over her head. “Ta-da,” she said.

  Fenella laughed. “Hello, Courtney,” she said as she admired the woman’s perfectly tailored dress. Courtney’s hair was medium brown, with some darker lowlights scattered through it so perfectly that they had to have been put there by an expensive hairdresser. Her makeup had been expertly applied and her jewelry, while low-key, looked valuable.

  “Everyone sit,” Stephanie said, “and have wine.”

  “I’m driving,” Annie told her. “I can’t have more than one glass.”

  “We’ll be here for hours,” Stephanie objected. “Just stick to one an hour and you’ll be fine.”

  “Well, I’ll have one, anyway,” Annie laughed.

  The woman took seats around the table. James moved over to sit next to Fenella, leaving the seat next to Stephanie available for one of her friends. Annie quickly claimed it.

  “So, tell me what you’ve all been doing since I moved away,” Stephanie said, looking around the table.

  “If you were on social media, we wouldn’t need to have this conversation,” Annie said.

  “I don’t have a computer,” Stephanie replied. “They bring too much negative energy into my life.”

  Annie laughed. “Only you would worry about such things. Computers are essential for work and for play now.”

  Stephanie shrugged. “What do you do on your computer at work, then?” she asked.

  “I work at the hospital in the records department,” Annie told her. “I sit for hours upon hours typing up reports and sending out appointment letters. Computers make it all easier, although that doesn’t make the job any more fun or interesting.”

  “I can’t imagine it,” Stephanie sighed. “I’d hate being stuck in an office all day, every day. I need sunshine and fresh air in order to function properly.”

  “Yes, well, if I didn’t have a mortgage maybe I could have more fun,” Annie snapped, “but I like having a place to live that’s all mine.”

  “Is that why you’ve never married?” Stephanie asked.

  Maureen took a sharp breath. When everyone looked at her, she shrugged. “I forgot that Stephanie doesn’t know anything about our lives for the last twenty years. If she did, she wouldn’t have asked that question.”

  “I don’t mean to upset anyone,” Stephanie said quickly. “Why don’t you each tell me what you want me to know? I won’t ask any more questions.”

  Annie downed the rest of her drink in a single swallow and then refilled her glass. “No, it’s okay. You were my closest friend once upon a time. Maybe you should know what happened after you left.”

  “Only what you want to tell me,” Stephanie said.

  “It wasn’t even long after you left,” Annie said. “You probably remember Scott Lang. He was in our class at school.”

  “I do remember him. He was gorgeous. I always wanted him to notice me,” Stephanie sighed.

  “Yeah, well, be glad he didn’t,” Annie told her. “Not long after you left, he noticed me, and I still have the scars to prove it.”

  “Really?” Stephanie gasped. “He hit you?”

  “Oh, yeah, he used to hit me, and you know what? I kept going back for more, because the physical pain was nothing compared to how I felt when I thought about leaving him. He made sure I was well and truly madly in love with him before he started anything.”

  “You should have left him the first time he hit you,” Maureen said in a tone that suggested she’d said that same thing many times before.”

  “Yeah, I know that now, but then, well, I was crazy in love with the man. He was gorgeous, and most people didn’t believe me when I told them that he hit me, either. He was very clever about doing things that wouldn’t leave marks, too.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Stephanie said, putting her hand on Annie’s arm.

  Annie shook it off and guzzled down her second glass of wine. “Wasn’t your fault, though. I just couldn’t seem to break his hold on me. We were together for three years and every time he hit me, things got a little bit worse. He was living with me, not working, spending all of my money, and then one day I came home from work early and caught him in our bed with a man. I never found out who the man was or where he’d come from, but I suspect he saved my life. That was probably just about the only thing that could have snapped me out of my obsession with Scott.”

  “Wow,” Stephanie said.

  “Yeah, wow,” Annie replied with a bitter laugh. “I threw them both out of the flat and had the locks changed that afternoon. Scott left the island a few weeks later, and as far as I know he hasn’t been back since.”

  “And Annie hasn’t looked at another man since he left,” Maureen added.

  Annie shrugged. “I can’t see the point. With my luck, whoever I meet will turn out just like Scott. It’s not a chance I’m prepared to take, anyway.”

  “There are lots of great guys out there,” Stephanie said. She looked over at James. “I found a pretty good one.”

  “Yeah, tell me that again in six months,” Annie laughed. “I don’t know anyone who’s actually happily married.”

  “I am,” Courtney said quietly.

  “But you’re still newlyweds. Wait,” Annie replied darkly.

  Courtney flushed but didn’t reply. After an awkward moment, Stephanie spoke again. “Your turn, Maureen. What have you been doing for the past twenty years?”

  Maureen giggled and then drank some wine. “You know me. I’m always an optimist. I’ve been engaged six times, but still haven’t actually made it down the aisle. One of these days, maybe.”

  “Ha, you’re better off on your own,” Annie scoffed.

  Maureen shrugged. “I like having a man in my life, but then, I always did. Maybe that’s because my dad was never around much. Whatever. I’m currently between men, but I’m sure someone else will come along before too much longer.”

  “I hope so, if that’s what will make you happy,” Stephanie said.

  “I always wanted children,” Maureen told her. “And now I’m starting to worry that I’m getting too old. My last boyfriend took off when I started talking about kids, though, so I’m trying not to think about them.”

  “I can’t imagine having children,” Stephanie told her. “I’m far too selfish.”

  “I adore them. I work at a nursery, taking care of the littlest babies, and it’s the best job ever,” Maureen replied. “I get paid to sit and cuddle babies all day long.”

  “When you’re working,” Annie said.

  Maureen nodded. “I’ve been sick for a lot of this year,” she said. “I’m not really meant to drink, actually, but sometimes you just have to have some fun. A few drinks won’t kill me, and if they do, at least it was them and not the cancer. Cheers.” The wo
man emptied her glass and then refilled it.

  Fenella frowned. It seemed as if Stephanie and all of her friends were determined to get quite drunk. As Annie refilled her glass again, Fenella couldn’t keep quiet. “I thought you were driving,” she said.

  Annie shot her an angry look. “Yeah? So?”

  “I’ll pay for a taxi for all of us,” Courtney said, “and I’ll have Annie’s car driven back to her house as well. It will be fine. You should give me your keys,” she added, looking at Annie.

  Annie glared at Fenella for another minute and then switched her glare to Courtney. “That’s our good friend Courtney for you,” she sneered. “Always throwing money at every problem.”

  “I’m not getting into a car with you, not when you’ve already had three glasses of wine. We’ve not even been here an hour yet,” Courtney said. “As I need a taxi, it won’t cost much more to take you and Maureen home as well. We can leave your car here if you’re not happy with me paying to have it driven home for you.”

  “Oh, no, I’m quite happy for you to pay for anything and everything,” Annie laughed. “You can keep buying drinks, as long as no one is driving.” She handed her ring of keys to Courtney and then emptied her glass again.

  “Drinks are on me,” Stephanie said. “It’s the least I can do after all these years.”

  “You can say that again,” Annie told her.

  Stephanie turned red. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.

  “Don’t pay any attention to Annie,” Courtney told her. “She’s had a difficult time of it since you left. I think she missed you more than anyone.”

  “Of course I did. Stephanie was my baby sister, or very nearly,” Annie said, wiping angrily at her eyes as a few tears fell.

  “I’m sorry,” Stephanie said, her own eyes filling with tears. “I needed to get away. I needed to see the world. I needed to find myself.”

  “Looks like you found a pretty good plastic surgeon while you were at it,” Annie replied.

  Stephanie shrugged. “I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve had work done. I was insecure, and I thought that bigger boobs and fuller lips and whatever would make me happier. I spent a lot of time chasing happiness in all of the wrong places.”

  “Haven’t we all?” Annie said with a sigh. “Eventually, though, we learn to give up on happiness and just settle for being miserable.”

  “Oh, Annie, don’t say that,” Stephanie exclaimed. “Happiness is within your grasp. I can help you find your way.”

  “You haven’t heard Courtney’s life story yet,” Maureen interrupted. “She’s probably the happiest one of the three of us.”

  Courtney shrugged. “I’m not unhappy, at least. Things didn’t exactly go the way that I’d planned with my life, but I can’t complain, I suppose.”

  “When I left, you were planning to go to university,” Stephanie said. “Didn’t you want to study English literature, or something like that?”

  “I had all sorts of grand plans, but in the end I did a degree in accounting and came back here to work for one of the local banks. I’ve been there ever since,” Courtney told her.

  “Making more money that Maureen and I put together,” Annie said, pouring herself another drink. “You need to see her house. You could fit three of mine inside hers.”

  Courtney frowned. “I work very hard for everything I have,” she said.

  “And she married well,” Maureen giggled, “really, really well.”

  “I married the man I love,” Courtney said tightly. “That he has money is completely irrelevant.”

  “She married one of the bank’s best customers,” Annie said. “She probably won his heart by helping him hide all of his assets from the tax man.”

  Courtney turned bright red. She opened her mouth and then snapped it shut again. After a few slow breaths, she took a sip of wine and then smiled a fake-looking smile. “I know you’re only teasing, Annie, but you really shouldn’t say such things. You could get me fired if anyone believed them.”

  “Sorry, Courtney. You know I’m just desperately jealous of your lovely life. Your husband is pretty incredible, too.”

  “Sam is a very special man,” Courtney agreed. “I’m very fortunate to have found him.”

  “How long have you been married?” Stephanie asked.

  “Not terribly long. Just over a year, actually,” Courtney replied.

  “Ah, I wish I’d have known. I’d have sent a gift,” Stephanie told her.

  “We had a very simple ceremony at Sam’s estate in the south of France,” Courtney told her. “We didn’t tell anyone about it until after the ceremony.”

  “And they didn’t need any gifts, anyway,” Annie said. “Besides, if they’d had the ceremony on the island, Sam’s kids would have made things difficult.”

  Courtney took another sip of her wine as an angry look flashed over her face.

  “So you’re a stepmum?” Stephanie asked. “How exciting.”

  “It really isn’t,” Courtney replied. “Sam does have two children from his first marriage, but they are in their twenties and certainly don’t consider me their stepmother.”

  “She was having an affair with Sam when he was still married to his first wife,” Annie said loudly.

  “That isn’t strictly true,” Courtney snapped, “and I’d greatly appreciate it if you’d not spread rumors about my private life.”

  Annie looked at Stephanie and giggled. “It’s something of a sore subject with Courtney. We should talk about something else.”

  “Let’s talk about you,” Courtney suggested. “What did you do after you left the island?”

  “I expanded my mind,” Stephanie replied. “I traveled all around England, Wales, and Scotland and immersed myself in the culture and heritage of those wonderful and historical places.”

  “You should have taken me with you,” Annie said. “It would have been fun.”

  “It would have,” Stephanie agreed, “but I was mourning the deaths of my parents and trying to escape from my past. Having them both pass so suddenly and so quickly nearly made me crazy. I wanted to get away from anything that might remind me of them, and sadly, that included my friends on the island.”

  “It was a very difficult time for you,” Maureen said. “We all understood why you wanted to get away.”

  “I’d have done the same, if I’d suddenly inherited all that money,” Annie said. “I’d have brought a friend along, though.”

  Stephanie nodded. “I’d do things differently if I could do them over again, but at the time, I wanted to cut all of my ties and make a fresh start. When I met new people, I never told them about my parents. Not talking about them helped me to not think about them, as well. It wasn’t a healthy way to deal with the grief, but it was what I did.”

  “So you traveled all over the UK,” Maureen said. “Then what?”

  “Then I decided to see more of the world. I went to Canada for a few years, but it never felt quite right to me. While I was there, I met an American who persuaded me to move to California with him. We got married eventually and it was good for the first year or two. Eventually, I realized that he was keeping me from meeting my full potential, so I left him.”

  “Was this before or after all of the plastic surgery?” Maureen asked. As soon as the question was out of her mouth, she flushed and then laughed. “Sorry, that sounded really rude, didn’t it?”

  Stephanie shrugged. “You guys are my best friends in the world. I don’t have any secrets from you, just stories you haven’t heard yet. It was before the surgeries. My next husband was a plastic surgeon, actually. I went to him to talk about my boobs and he ended up telling me he wouldn’t operate on me because he wanted to, er, um, sleep with me too much. He sent me to his friend, who did the surgery just before Stanley and I got married.”

  “So you’ve been married twice?” Courtney asked, her tone laced with disapproval.

  “Oh, no, I’ve been married four times,” Steph
anie replied cheerfully. “Stanley was too demanding. We were only together for a year or so before I’d had enough. After I left him, I had some more work done, because I was feeling so insecure after the way that he’d treated me. Never get involved with a man who tries to create physical perfection for a living. He’ll never be satisfied with anything less than what he can create himself.”

  “I don’t think any of us have to worry about that. There aren’t a lot of single plastic surgeons on the island, as far as I know,” Maureen told her.

  “Anyway, after Stanley, I decided that I’d had enough of men and I joined a sort of commune. The money from my parents had run out by that time, and Stanley had a much better lawyer than I did, so I didn’t get much from him. The commune was great. I lived and worked there for a few years. We were aiming for self-sufficiency, but if I’m honest, we had no idea what we were doing, so we never even got close.”

  “I saw a television program about communes once,” Maureen said. “At the one they talked about everyone was sleeping with the commune’s leader. He told them all he was like a god or something and he took turns with all of the women and men. It was terrible.”

  “I believe that’s more like a cult than a commune,” Stephanie said. “After a few years, mine started to get that way, though. It had been started by these four guys, and after a couple of them left, the other two started getting stranger and stranger. Eventually, I’d had enough and I ran away with the son of one of the founders. We got married in Las Vegas and both got jobs there in the casinos.”

  “Vegas always looks so glamorous when I see it on television,” Maureen sighed.

  “It isn’t, though. When you work there you see the ugly side of it. You meet the people who come and spend money they don’t have. The addicts always think they’re going to win big with the next deal or the next throw of the dice. I hated it there. It was full of nothing but negative energy and greed.”

  “So what happened to husband number three?” Courtney asked, sounding bored.

  “Oh, his father came and dragged him back to the commune. I’m pretty sure it’s truly a cult now. I was lucky to get away when I did.”

  “And you stayed in Vegas?” Maureen asked.